Wifes Family Asking For $ Advice

[Robb&Ann 101]

You are correct. It is also better to save for the retirement and even for burial since we would not want our kids to be responsible for us when we die or when we retired as they will also have their own family and they would not want their parents to bug them to for financial support

Realize you will be "just getting by" for the rest of your life regardless. I have friends that make six figures that are just getting by. There is only one way to stop

"just getting by" and that is to always make more money. You need to stay ahead of your ability to spend money. I've made 30k a year and 100k a year, they feel exactly the same to me. I'm hoping someday to be over a million a year and hopefully I won't feel broke at that point. The US is still the land of opportunity if you don't make a lot of money it is either because you don't want to or you are lazy. I've seen foreigners making well over 100k a year and can barely speak English. If you are willing to do the work you can definitely make a lot of money. Even if you make more money you should keep it for your kids or retirement. Sending it to another country won't help anyone in the long run.

[Robb&Ann 101]

I agree

I wish that there would be segments of the CFO seminar that discuss issues like this to those who are getting K-1 and CR-1 visas. It may not be applicable to all immigrating Pinays but probably CFO can sort of prepare the beneficiary for them to:

1. inform their spouse/fiance that their family in the Philippines will be expecting financial assistance and whether they help and how or not is up to them as a couple

2. explain to their family in the Philippines that their daughter's husband won't be their meal ticket

3. create a smart arrangement should they decide to send money to the PH

Not all Kanos are aware of the practice of most Filipinos of helping their family in the PH financially. Not all Pinays know how to say NO or STOP when their family in the PH starts demanding this and that.

[Robb&Ann 101]

correct.

it is not his wife's responsibility to pay her parents debt. but still up to her if she wants to help. but if they are in tight budget i think she has to think of their OWN family first.

its so sad to hear that. in the Philippines if you have a poor family i think the child atleast would have to help them IF SHE/HE have the capacity to do so. But in your case you have to explain politely that you cant do it as of now.

the problem is that SOME relatives think that since you're in USA you're earning too much too and their lives was depending on you.

i believe it's so hard for your wife to hear all her parents problem/debt and can't do anything about it. she should try to talk to her family and explain things thoroughly. i hope that her family will understand you.

[miajaz052206 0]

Update,

I took matters into my own hands. I tried to explain our situation in english to her uncle who was asking for money via FB, and when I got a message back I tried to translate it via google translate and I think he basically said "I do not care what derek says, us dollar isnt the same as peso" or something like that.... If you dont care what I say, then I do not care to talk to you anymore....I've since blocked them... What people in the filipins do not understand is that sure we our money goes a long way over there, but it is worth NOTHING here lol.

Just a piece of advice

Your wife should explain to her family that its not all american people are wealthy

But yes its true pilipino people think wen ur in america u got a lot

Of $$ to said maybe bcoz of poverty.

But its not ur wife responsibilities to take care the family in ph specialy

If you dont have money let the family knows if they dont understand then

Oh well thats their problem...

Wen i was i philippines i always ask money to my husband but then

When i got here and have my own job and own money i realize how hard

The life here always bills bills working for bills and that pilipino

Some pilipino dont understand that until they experience

Here in u.s..

[Caryh 5,206]

When i got here and have my own job and own money i realize how hard

The life here always bills bills working for bills and that pilipino

Some pilipino dont understand that until they experience

Here in u.s..

It confused my wife a lot when she first got here to. We get paid this Friday, so we can do spend this much on this when we're paid. No honey, that check needs to pay for this bill, then this bill, and this other thing, plus we need groceries, gas in the cars, lunch money, after all that, we're about $60 in the hole, so we need to save at least that much from the last pay check. Filipinos just don't seem to live that way. If money is in hand, it can be spent. After a year and half, she's come to understand we need to plan out expenditures a bit more than she ever worried about in the Philippines.

[miajaz052206 0]

How long shes been here in u.s? If 1-2 yrs need more adjustment then 3-5yrs for sure

She should understand already ur both situation that its not all time u can throw money in philippines

Now,that shes married her responsibilities is her own family like u and kids if u have any...

And later on if u have extra then u can help family in philippines. I have family in philippines

And before i feel like its my obligation to send money evry month but then later on

I realize that its not gonna be like that. That if they need money here i am

Send right away nope so try to explain to her that she need to talk her families in ph for sure they will understand..

[Blue Bianchi 77]

Hi Semperaye,

I have had the same problem with an aunt, who is dear to me, but for some reason she only hears what she wants to hear when we're on the phone. My mother used to send her money when she was alive, but now she is hinting that I should take the responsibility. The truth just is, I am not well off enough to give her an allowance. Just say what you want to say, which Is "no." It will probably take a while for them to hear it. But this is not worth all the stress you are feeling.

Best of luck,

bb

[Blue Bianchi 77]

Filipinos just don't seem to live that way. If money is in hand, it can be spent. After a year and half, she's come to understand we need to plan out expenditures a bit more than she ever worried about in the Philippines.

Carefull with the generalizations man. Filipinos know how to budget. You just married one who wasn't familiar with the concept.

BB

[Caryh 5,206]

Carefull with the generalizations man. Filipinos know how to budget. You just married one who wasn't familiar with the concept.

BB

Which is why I said "don't seem to". I've seen many Filipinos there who appear to live the same way. Maybe its because she grew up in extreme poverty, where there was only what was in hand for the day? Even though her generation pulled the family out of that poverty.

Funny thing is, she could budget the money for their business just fine. Everything planned out and scheduled way in advance. Took her a while to see and understand how many bills we tend to have in America. Insurance, car payment, phone bill, cell bill, house payment, electric bill, gas bill, water bill, trash bill, cable bill, etc, etc.... The USA list of bills seems endless, a much longer list than the average Filipino had back home.

[pagong 7]

it's just so crazy that some americans think that filipinos are just about money. like one said here, not all filipinos are poor.

i am receiving money too from my fiance because i'm prgnant and have to leave from work. most of HIS money i make it sure that it it's for me and baby's medical needs. yes, i share some for the bills too because i do that before when i was working. the point is, i never gave anyone money because they just want it.

sometimes it pained me to hear my other relatives say that "oh you have money we know, share your blessings", "buy me rubber shoes, shirts..blah blah blah.." i remember one of my aunt said "ask your bf for money, it's easier for him to get money there than us here" it's so frustrating because they don't realize that they earn dollars and spend dollars too. what's crazy is that they know i'm pregnant and they should now i have my own new priorities now and i need to save as much as i can from my fiance's hardworked money. i always ending up saying i don't have money. i have to pay for the processing of my papers which i believe they don't understand and I don't care.

i can take responsibility for my parents but never to others. but yes, i cant help them now because of the scenario and i know they understand it. anyway, i don't consider my family poor. i don't have to explain to them detail per detail because it's NOT my money.

don't be pressured and stressed it's not your responsibility.

share if you CAN and if you WANT.

[Robb&Ann 101]

Not all Filipinos are poor as well as not all Americans are rich. However when dollars are converted into peso then that really is atleast more than the peso.However dollar to dollar expenses it would be different than in dollar to peso. my family is not poor nor rich but we are in the middle. I am proud of my father and his family now who lives in a simple life.

I guess every situation differs. Some would love to take advantage. Some would know how to understand and respect.

In the end it will be our choice to say yes or no.

[Hank_ 9,174]

And summer is coming... along with the AC bill............

[Robb&Ann 101]

I am proud of my Robb for living a simple life in the US without a credit card or any debts except for water,elect,internet,phone and rent.We both prefer to pay cash instead of credit card esp once I am there. Here in PI I use my credit card but we still make sure that we pay it on time as I also want to build a good credit standing with my Bank for soon when we go back here, it might also help us dealing with the bank. we have no plans of closing my savings account here and we are planning to put him as my joint account holder once he gets back here and even if I am already in the US (soon) we will still continue to put money in the SA. We might use a CC in the US soon so we can also build our credit score but we have to make sure that we will use it in moderation. I had worked in a call center before for credit card acquisition and most of my customers have not just 1 cc but they have atleast 5 and they usually do balance transfer to take advantage of the $0 balance transfer fee as well as the intro rate (depends on the bank and offer).

We had talked that it is good if you only have minimal debts or no cc so that when you lose a job, you have really nothing to worry about paying on time or your debts might increase bec of the interest. Interest rates in some credit card are sky high. Depends whether it is variable or fixed rate. the cash advance interest rate is wow. my finance charge for my cc is at 3.25% while if u have a cc in the US it would be between 10-25% (depends on the offer,bank and credit worthiness).

But ofcourse there are pros and cons on this. If you have a bad credit because you are not using a cc then the more likely that you will be denied when you apply for a loan, etc. But if you have mortgages or cc then just have to make sure to spend and budget wisely.

While in the US I guess it is really better to save your hard earned dollar, and if you plan to retire in PI then atleast you are living a good life. Your hardwork will be paid off. But again, this also depends in each situation. Work hard, spend wisely and save then later on you won't need to worry about retirement.

Edited March 29, 2013 by Robb&Ann

[Robb&Ann 101]

And summer is coming... along with the AC bill............

Right. Robb just had his AC fixed last week

[Hank_ 9,174]

And once you are there you will be very happy there is AC for sure, will maybe not right away as you will most likely arrive during the off season for AC. At least its a couple degrees cooler here than up in Phoenix... like one can notice after its over 40c!