Confuzzled!!

[Marilyn. 340]

I got an email a few days ago from an old friend and ex-roommate, her name is Gill... we were better friends then roommates ... I hadn't heard from her in awhile so it was nice to hear from her....

I emailed her back and told her what has been happening the last little while.... and we have sent a few emails back and forth....

Today she emailed me and asked if this other "friend" can email me.... I guess Gill told her about what happened to me....

Well, here is why I am confuzzled.... I don't really want this other girl emailing me.... I have major issues with her....

We were friends and then we moved in together, actually Gill lived with us for awhile too....

Anywho, this other girl totally used me and other people..... She was and probably still is one of those people who takes, takes, takes but never gives anything in return.... I finally had to break free from her.... She did contact me a few months later and said she wanted to hang out.... I said sure because I had nothing better to do.... turns out she just needed a ride to the mall and I guess she couldn't find anyone else to do it...

Also she was a single mom..... but I took care of her son most of the time.... she just fed and clothed him, the rest of the time he spent in the playpen until I came home from work and then I would take him out and play with him.... she got upset when he started talking and one of the first things he said was mom but he was referring to me when he said it.... I did a lot of babysitting for her too.... free of charge of course...

well, now many of you are probably thinking that I am just a door mat and believe me I felt like one but I don't like to hurt people's feelings etc...

Anywho, that is just a little taste of what this chick is like.... I could go on and on but I won't...

So now, I am not sure what to do.... do I tell Gill, yes, she can email me? but I don't really want this girl back in my life.... I am sure she will find some way to use me again.... Or do I say no and then Gill will wonder why?? Or do I just ignore the request??

I know I am making a mountain out of a mole hill here but I have no idea what to do

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

So now, I am not sure what to do.... do I tell Gill, yes, she can email me? but I don't really want this girl back in my life.... I am sure she will find some way to use me again.... Or do I say no and then Gill will wonder why?? Or do I just ignore the request??

Say no and let Gill wonder why.

[Alex+R 0]

Ugh. If I were you, since it was in an e-mail, you can just ignore the request. If it were me, and it came up again, I would say no. You don't need that in your life right now.

[Jenn! 918]

I would say no and tell Gill exactly why.

[chri'stina 190]

I know it's uncomfortable when those situations come up. I'd first ignore the request and see what happens. If Gill asks again, thinking that you just forgot, then say no. Just explain in a nice way why you don't want to. Tell her you had a bad experience with her and are not comfortable with it. If she goes and tells the other girl what you said, then she will be mad and won't want to see you anyway. But sometimes that's just how it's gotta be.

[Marilyn. 340]

I would say no and tell Gill exactly why.

but then Gill might forward that info to this other girl but I guess I shouldn't worry about it....

but the only thing is this girl might start rumors about me or start bad mouthing me to other people... she knows people that I know.... am I making sense??

I think I just might ignore the request...

I know it's uncomfortable when those situations come up. I'd first ignore the request and see what happens. If Gill asks again, thinking that you just forgot, then say no. Just explain in a nice way why you don't want to. Tell her you had a bad experience with her and are not comfortable with it. If she goes and tells the other girl what you said, then she will be mad and won't want to see you anyway. But sometimes that's just how it's gotta be.

see this is what puzzles me.... Gill had similar experiences with her but now they are all chummy... Anyways, Gill should know where I am coming from maybe that is why she asked if it was ok for this other girl to email me instead of just letting her...

[chri'stina 190]

I would say no and tell Gill exactly why.

but then Gill might forward that info to this other girl but I guess I shouldn't worry about it....

but the only thing is this girl might start rumors about me or start bad mouthing me to other people... she knows people that I know.... am I making sense??

I think I just might ignore the request...

I can relate because there are people in my past like this too and once in awhile one will pop back into my life. But I've been doing a pretty good job of avoiding certain people for a couple years now. I probably sound mean. hehe. But I'm too nice to a lot of people and it got me taken advantage of in the past(same with the rides to places, doing a million things for them and them doing nothing, etc). Until finally you have to say to them no. If they get mad, oh well. You were the nice one doing so much stuff for them.

[Jenn! 918]

I would say no and tell Gill exactly why.

but then Gill might forward that info to this other girl but I guess I shouldn't worry about it....

but the only thing is this girl might start rumors about me or start bad mouthing me to other people... she knows people that I know.... am I making sense??

I think I just might ignore the request...

I understand why you're concerned, but I would hope that if you told Gill in confidence that she wouldn't breach your trust. I appreciate when my friends tell me that they dislike one of my other friends. I can avoid awkward situations that way.

[Marilyn. 340]

I would say no and tell Gill exactly why.

but then Gill might forward that info to this other girl but I guess I shouldn't worry about it....

but the only thing is this girl might start rumors about me or start bad mouthing me to other people... she knows people that I know.... am I making sense??

I think I just might ignore the request...

I can relate because there are people in my past like this too and once in awhile one will pop back into my life. But I've been doing a pretty good job of avoiding certain people for a couple years now. I probably sound mean. hehe. But I'm too nice to a lot of people and it got me taken advantage of in the past(same with the rides to places, doing a million things for them and them doing nothing, etc). Until finally you have to say to them no. If they get mad, oh well. You were the nice one doing so much stuff for them.

I guess it is good that I live 1000 miles away from her... she can't bug me for a ride somewhere...

I think I must have had the word "DOORMAT" stamped on my forehead because a lot of people seemed to like to take advantage of my good nature....

[broma25 2]

I would tell her no and explain why not

[Marilyn. 340]

I would say no and tell Gill exactly why.

but then Gill might forward that info to this other girl but I guess I shouldn't worry about it....

but the only thing is this girl might start rumors about me or start bad mouthing me to other people... she knows people that I know.... am I making sense??

I think I just might ignore the request...

I understand why you're concerned, but I would hope that if you told Gill in confidence that she wouldn't breach your trust. I appreciate when my friends tell me that they dislike one of my other friends. I can avoid awkward situations that way.

I would hope she wouldn't but I don't really know if she would....

[Ban Hammer 13,656]

say sure thing - then block her address. plead innocence when they ask via your friend why you've not responded to their email

[JaJo 1]

Marilyn,

I agree with Jenn. If Gill is really a good friend of yours, she won't tell the other girl. If this other girl starts spreading rumors about you (and she might, even if Gill don't tell her anything), you have to remember that the people that really like you will know she is telling lies.

[Marilyn. 340]

say sure thing - then block her address. plead innocence when they ask via your friend why you've not responded to their email

[JaJo 1]

I guess it is good that I live 1000 miles away from her... she can't bug me for a ride somewhere...

I think I must have had the word "DOORMAT" stamped on my forehead because a lot of people seemed to like to take advantage of my good nature....

You're probably the type of person with a big enough heart to help everybody when they need, sometimes you help people even when they don't ask for help.

The thing is, there are plenty of lazy people, that would rather have someone else solving their problems than going through the hassle of living their lives.

It always hurts when we find out that our "friends" were in fact only using us. Don't let people do that to you. I know this is easier to say than to do, and most of the time you'll feel guilty for turning someone away, but, you see, when you take care of other persons problems like you did, you aren't really helping them.

Marilyn, from what I saw here, you are a wonderful person and if someone decides to believe in gossips about you, well, they don't deserve to be around you.