How to Pass the Time

[hikergirl 277]

Thanks to Darnell’s advice in another thread, I started exercising.

It gets me moving and away from the computer at least one hour of the day.

My moods improved and so did my fretting about this process and being apart.

I still miss my hubby dearly but he has noticed that I seem happier as well.

[pachacuti 154]

Thanks to Darnell’s advice in another thread, I started exercising.

It gets me moving and away from the computer at least one hour of the day.

My moods improved and so did my fretting about this process and being apart.

I still miss my hubby dearly but he has noticed that I seem happier as well.

From your timeline it looks like you only have a month or two more to go... Sweet. Or not... isn't the embassy in Canada one of the long wait ones? Peru is supposed be only 2 or 3 months tops.

Edited March 22, 2013 by pachacuti

[hikergirl 277]

From your timeline it looks like you only have a month or two more to go... Sweet. Or not... isn't the embassy in Canada one of the long wait ones? Peru is supposed be only 2 or 3 months tops.

Lately it’s been quicker. I think because files are only trickling though because of the clog in the system with the Service Centers.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for sure.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

So, you have done IV-A stuff too then (assuming that is what DSS does). I was the ombudsman for my agency for two years, so I know what complaints are like. The difference was, when they called me, I actually investigated what was going on with the case. If it was being processed normally, that is what I would tell them. If there was something amiss, then I would contact the worker's supervisor and I had the power to tell them what to do But we made (make) every effort to be transparent. There are obviously lots of workers who don't take this attitude, and when you work there, you know who they are. I moved into IT about 12 years ago (but I left state service a few months back) and even in IT, I would sometimes get calls from the public that just ended up getting routed to me. My attitude with each of those calls was that I was the department as far as that person was concerned... I made sure they had my phone number and that I was responsible for them until I managed to get them to the right person. In 100% of those cases I left members of the public with a better attitude about my department and about government in general. This is the level of service I expect from every agency... every single one. USCIS is failing miserably and giving government a bad name. I was very proud to give public service and took great pride in my work. Why can't they do the same?

Thanks for the encouragement about my relationship with my son. I know that everything will be great once we are all together and can get on with our lives together. This limbo ####### is horrible...

I don't hold Yemen against you. And I strongly encourage complaining from everyone

Oh! And I don't get the "immigration should be hard" comments from people I associate with. Quite the contrary. Of course, I always preface my diatribes with my view that immigration reform should start with streamlining the process for family-based visas. I think no one wants to argue with me after that

Yes I was a TANF case manager. Honestly had I not been laid off I would have quit. My division colleagues and boss were sociopathic and lazy - which I thought was strange for people working at Social Services, at least the sociopath part. I wish there was someone like you in our office because we got almost no oversight! I barely had any training, just my social work background and hit the ground running. I had colleagues nearby who processed applications and the cases would just sit in cabinets waiting, and when the cabinets were full they'd be in boxes on the floor. I imagine USCIS may have something similar going on. Despite my experiences I think state and county agencies feel more pressure to provide better service because they have more specific people to answer to and who can ultimately drop the hammer on them [governors, commissioners]. And those people are more likely to listen to complaints from their constituents. Whereas with USCIS, Congresspeople and Senators can only inquire on someone's behalf. They can't push for results. Or at least they have not been very successful at doing so that I know of.

Anyway now I work in the health care field which is also in great need of overhaul. But that's a topic for the Religion & Politics Section.

You're preaching to the choir about streamlining family based visa processes .

Hikergirl - I did the same exact thing! I go to the gym every day after work for an hour. I also take Arabic classes and volunteer on the weekends. It helps the time pass a little.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Hey Everyone!

I am fairly new to this forum. I recently submitted my I-129F with my Peruvian Fiancé and received my NOA1 in Feb 21, 2013 and from what I have read, will not be expecting anything else from the VSC for about 6 months. I was wondering if there are any veterans out there who might have suggestions or ideas on how they best passed their time while playing the waiting game

I have been trying to read up on the forums about all of the RFEs and stories from other applicants to stay informed, but in a way this also makes me nervous and I feel as though I may be stressing myself out over details that I cannot control.

I am a big planner and would love to just plan out everything that Wilmer and I will do when we get back to the States together, but I am almost afraid to be planing too much assuming that he will be back home with me for the holidays, as I already had a disappointment hoping we would be back in August for my family reunion. I don't want to build myself up for disappointment.

I guess basically, I think it would be nice to hear back from someone who has been through the process and what did they do to try not to drive themselves crazy.

Is there anything important that we should do with our case while we are waiting for a possible RFE/ NOA2?

What are other suggestions that you might have done to pass the time without building up the expectations for specific dates and events.

Thanks for your thoughts

Sabrina and Wilmer

Besides the usual plans for when he/she arrives; what we did was to make plans to get together in month 4 and then in month 8 if the visa was not yet in the passport. That way, you know you will see each other no matter what and the wait seemed much more bearable.

The get together also served to hand in paperwork that would be needed for the interview, but generally, it was a break from the wait.

We chose to get together in a 3rd country, that way it felt like a real vacation and there was no obligation to see the family, which in Peru could be a bit overwhelming BTW. In sum just time for each other

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Thanks for all of your replies everyone! It's nice to have a support system like this during this nail biting process. I am lucky enough to still be in Peru with my sweetheart, but only for about 5 more months. We will hopefully only have 2 or 3 months apart. It seems that the VSC has lowered their processing times to 5 months....Do you think we can trust those figures?

I am currently serving in the Peace Corps and will be COSing soon so I know that I will have a lot to do getting my own life together as well as preparing for him. It is a very exciting time in our lives and I am just trying to balance the enjoying the last few months of my PC service, preparing for my life, preparing for his big life change, getting things in order financially and on top of all of that, preparing for the wedding. I love multi-tasking and planning ahead, but this is definitely the most extreme case I've ever lived.

You would want to get things ready stateside as much as possible. If your future spouse has never been here, it would be a period of adjustment, your job is to make that easier (and his job is to also start preparing). I used to tell my wife that I was expecting her to take at least a year to get adjusted, but it would take longer, that would be fine. If you guys are in Lima, about any city in the US, except the top 4-5 would feel like "small town"; he'll have to make friends, find a routine, etc.

Even 'simple' things as getting things done would be difficult at the beginning; for example, stateside you get on the phone and get things done, in Peru you actually run errands going to the offices and talking to people face to face.

[Sabrina y Wilmer 0]

You would want to get things ready stateside as much as possible. If your future spouse has never been here, it would be a period of adjustment, your job is to make that easier (and his job is to also start preparing). I used to tell my wife that I was expecting her to take at least a year to get adjusted, but it would take longer, that would be fine. If you guys are in Lima, about any city in the US, except the top 4-5 would feel like "small town"; he'll have to make friends, find a routine, etc.

Even 'simple' things as getting things done would be difficult at the beginning; for example, stateside you get on the phone and get things done, in Peru you actually run errands going to the offices and talking to people face to face.

Thank you for your advice I do know that it will be a difficult period for him and for me. I have been talking to him and my family about how he will be 100% dependent on me and us as he will not know anyone else and will still be learning to perfect his English.

We have also been trying to figure out the best place for us to live as he has only spent his life in his very small campo town in Peru. We have discussed him living in my small town in Maine with my family as it would be more similar to the small town life, but I'm afraid he might be very uncomfortable there as the only minority. We have also discussed living with my family in Chicago where there is more diversity and he might feel a little less of an outsider, but then we will have the adjustment for him to live in a big city....

Our plan at this point is to do a little of both to see where we will be most comfortable, but I know it is going to be a learn as you go process. Either way I feel that we are strong enough to overcome the difficulties and stresses. He has helped me during my two years of really difficult living as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and now it is my turn to give back and support him. As long as we are together, I feel that we will always have strength.

[pachacuti 154]

Thank you for your advice I do know that it will be a difficult period for him and for me. I have been talking to him and my family about how he will be 100% dependent on me and us as he will not know anyone else and will still be learning to perfect his English.

We have also been trying to figure out the best place for us to live as he has only spent his life in his very small campo town in Peru. We have discussed him living in my small town in Maine with my family as it would be more similar to the small town life, but I'm afraid he might be very uncomfortable there as the only minority. We have also discussed living with my family in Chicago where there is more diversity and he might feel a little less of an outsider, but then we will have the adjustment for him to live in a big city....

Our plan at this point is to do a little of both to see where we will be most comfortable, but I know it is going to be a learn as you go process. Either way I feel that we are strong enough to overcome the difficulties and stresses. He has helped me during my two years of really difficult living as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and now it is my turn to give back and support him. As long as we are together, I feel that we will always have strength.

h

Maine is a long way from Washington, but feel free to connect with my and mine, if you need any kind of support Of course my love is Limenha pura, so she will be going through the opposite of what your fiance will experience. Also, Patty has traveled all over Peru, Ecuador, Chile and Argentina. She has also been to Europe (Spain, Italy, Germany), so she is not completely unfamiliar with being in a foreign place. This, of course, is the first time she will be relocating to a foreign place, so that will be new for her. But, I think I am ready. She still has to get her head around the idea... I think it is still a little too far off for her. Once she is the heat of doing stuff for the embassy portion of this journey, it will hit and she and I can talk again.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Thank you for your advice I do know that it will be a difficult period for him and for me. I have been talking to him and my family about how he will be 100% dependent on me and us as he will not know anyone else and will still be learning to perfect his English.

We have also been trying to figure out the best place for us to live as he has only spent his life in his very small campo town in Peru. We have discussed him living in my small town in Maine with my family as it would be more similar to the small town life, but I'm afraid he might be very uncomfortable there as the only minority. We have also discussed living with my family in Chicago where there is more diversity and he might feel a little less of an outsider, but then we will have the adjustment for him to live in a big city....

Our plan at this point is to do a little of both to see where we will be most comfortable, but I know it is going to be a learn as you go process. Either way I feel that we are strong enough to overcome the difficulties and stresses. He has helped me during my two years of really difficult living as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and now it is my turn to give back and support him. As long as we are together, I feel that we will always have strength.

Seems that you have a plan. I'd add that you might also want to consider the time of the year when the move would happen; landing in Maine in the dead of Winter might not be best: the cold weather and short days might not be very encouraging. And you are right, Chicago might be overwhelming. Mi wife and I had a long talk about where to live, first whether in the US or Europe, then where in the US. The possibilities were Denver or Houston to begin with, with other alternatives second. To her, weather was the deciding factor, hence we are in Houston; it's never really cold here and Winter is about 1 week at the most and maybe you'll see the temperature dipping to 31 or 30 . If you have the possibility of testing several places, that is great.

Something else to consider is what line of work you both are looking into, and/or perhaps additional education/training might be in the cards

Good luck!