Age differences

[Nostalgic 1]

I dont know if this has been asked before, or if I am in the right place, I apologize if I'm not!

I thought I would ask, if there are any women out there, who are older than their partner.. if this posed as a big issue, or how you managed to get through it.

I am older than my partner, and have been told to expect hard times ahead, because while it is generally acceptable for the man to be significantly older than his partner, it is not ok the other way around.

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

Do you mean hard times in terms of the visa process, or in terms of people (friends, neighbours) judging you?

If you mean the visa process, it will depend a lot of which country the beneficiary is from, and other factors (common religion, similar educational background etc).

[Nostalgic 1]

Hard times for the visa process.. our family and friends are supportive of our relationship, though some have judged us.

[Caryh 5,206]

Heck it might be more common for the man to have a larger gap older, but nothing seems to stop sime judgemental people. Including the "whats the matter, couldn't get someone in your own country?" remarks. As to the visa difficulties, thats usually an embassy level issue, your answer can most likely be found in the regional forum for the country your SO is from.

[Nostalgic 1]

Thanks for your reply

Yeh, I have had those remarks too.. or people say "Just forget the trouble, you can find someone else here!"- I feel sorry for those people as they have obviously never felt real love.

Love doesnt care about distance, age, even race or religion.. it sucks that so many people try to categorize it or take it apart.

[Caryh 5,206]

Thanks for your reply

Yeh, I have had those remarks too.. or people say "Just forget the trouble, you can find someone else here!"- I feel sorry for those people as they have obviously never felt real love.

Love doesnt care about distance, age, even race or religion.. it sucks that so many people try to categorize it or take it apart.

I was at a party one time with friends, and I woman I know started going off on a man she knew that had married a woman from Russia. It wasn't me, but everyone knew I was in the process of doing the same thing with a woman from the Philippines. I just looked at her and the topic got dropped. Not five minutes later she's complaining about men in general and how they have no idea about how to treat a woman. When I spoke up, out came the prejudice as she said, "How would you know anything, you're going to marry a YOUNG woman from the Philippines". Serious, she was acting as if my wife was another species or something. As I've known this woman for a number of years, I shouldn't have been surprised. Her bitter attitude has been the main reason she's not found a bf after being divorced for six years, although she's desperately tried a bit too hard to get one.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I dont know if this has been asked before, or if I am in the right place, I apologize if I'm not!

I thought I would ask, if there are any women out there, who are older than their partner.. if this posed as a big issue, or how you managed to get through it.

I am older than my partner, and have been told to expect hard times ahead, because while it is generally acceptable for the man to be significantly older than his partner, it is not ok the other way around.

Because you country in question is Australia (I am presuming your fiance is the male from Australia?) then you should not expect too much difficulty. Australia is a first world nation and people are not willing to kill or lead a fake life to get a ticket to the US. In some other countries, people are willing to do anything to get a ticket to the US. That includes preying on someone; a typical scheme often involves an older, divorced, lonely woman, to get to the US, even though they don't love them and don't plan on living with them for very long. In countries where having children is extremely important to the family, or maybe in a country where "romantic love" is not a concept that has really taken off, it is difficult to find a 20-something young man with no children who is uneducated and very provincial really being "in love" with a woman 30 years his senior who cannot have children anymore, who he met on the internet, especially if the consulate finds evidence he was talking to many women online, all in the US. The same can be said for the opposite situation, a younger woman desperate to leave and an older man, though that sort of May-December is a bit more normative.

Not every situation like this is fraud, but the couple will need to show, as every couple does, that the relationship was not entered into primarily to get a visa.

[agrabs 246]

I am older than my husband. When I first started the K1 process I was told this would be a big red flag. Well, it wasn't. I went to the interview with my husband and it never came up. It was more of an issue with my family and friends ( before they got to know him).

[X Factor 1,112]

Are we talking about an age gap of under 5 years, plus 10 years, or plus 20 years. These will be factors. A 5 year gap won't be looked at the same way as a 16 year difference. That is if the female is the older one and the culture of that country it is rare to be in these relationships.

Edited March 19, 2013 by Mr Smiley

[Nostalgic 1]

Caryh- that's funny but so sad! She sounds like a jealous and bitter person.

Harpa Timsah- I am in Australia, he is in the USA. We do have friends and family who are willing to write letters of support for us if need be, and also mention how we maintained our relationship through our 9 months apart. I am not sure if that would make a difference or not.

agrabs- Well thats good to hear! What is your age difference, if you dont mind me asking?

Mr Smiley- At the risk of being judged, our age difference is 11 years.

[agrabs 246]

Caryh- that's funny but so sad! She sounds like a jealous and bitter person.

Harpa Timsah- I am in Australia, he is in the USA. We do have friends and family who are willing to write letters of support for us if need be, and also mention how we maintained our relationship through our 9 months apart. I am not sure if that would make a difference or not.

agrabs- Well thats good to hear! What is your age difference, if you dont mind me asking?

Mr Smiley- At the risk of being judged, our age difference is 11 years.

we have a 12 year age difference - and I don't really care who judges me only 1 person I have to answer to and so far He hasn't called upon me to explain.

My husband is in his very early thirties - not a teenager. We also have a big difference in our education - I am a doctor - he attended some college but didn't get to finish. This was another "red flag" I was warned about - again never came up - maybe because I attended the interview with him - I don't know...They seemed more concerned about verifying the details of how we met (medical mission trip - he was my translator I was not old, lonely nor desperate when I fell in love with my husband.

It would be very easy for people who don't know us to form the wrong opinion about our relationship. Other than to the folks at USCIS - I don't feel the need to explain it ... If the age difference isn't an issue in your relationship - then don't let anyone else make it one! Good luck with your visa journey!

[Caryh 5,206]

Caryh- that's funny but so sad! She sounds like a jealous and bitter person.

Harpa Timsah- I am in Australia, he is in the USA. We do have friends and family who are willing to write letters of support for us if need be, and also mention how we maintained our relationship through our 9 months apart. I am not sure if that would make a difference or not.

agrabs- Well thats good to hear! What is your age difference, if you dont mind me asking?

Mr Smiley- At the risk of being judged, our age difference is 11 years.

Yeah it was a bit humorous. She's been told many times by friends that she needs to mellow out and find her inner happiness so she can find someone. I think she's trying to find it, but there's a lot of anger she needs to purge first.

I won't worry one bit about your age difference. 11 years is nothing really in the world of immigration, and we're talking two first world countries in your case. Its very frustrating thinking these people have so much control over our futures, but they're really just trying to protect the USC from fraud. And it sounds like you have a ton of evidence that your relationship is legit. By interview time when its needed, you should have more than enough. No one is really going to make you not worry, we've all gone through it and done our worrying. But it will appear like so much wasted stress after the fact once you get through it.

[agrabs 246]

No one is really going to make you not worry, we've all gone through it and done our worrying. But it will appear like so much wasted stress after the fact once you get through it.

well said!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Caryh- that's funny but so sad! She sounds like a jealous and bitter person.

Harpa Timsah- I am in Australia, he is in the USA. We do have friends and family who are willing to write letters of support for us if need be, and also mention how we maintained our relationship through our 9 months apart. I am not sure if that would make a difference or not.

agrabs- Well thats good to hear! What is your age difference, if you dont mind me asking?

Mr Smiley- At the risk of being judged, our age difference is 11 years.

11 years as in he's 18 and you're 29? Or 24 and 35? A few years make a difference to how it "reads" but honestly as long as he earns well enough to support you you'll be fine. It's not a big deal at all

[NikLR 13,232]

My first step dad was 14 years younger than my mom. Meh. She looks younger now. Lol