One day to get married

[NY_BX 397]

waitwaitwait... so is the marriage CONTRACT not in english at all? the things that us foreigners have to sign, is it all in arabic?

Another reason why we chose K-1. Also, I echo the Orfi marriage sentiment of being a bad idea.

Question, will this be your first visit? Just curious. Consulars see that as a huge red flag during the interview. If you haven't studied the red flags, I highly suggest you do so. I know, I know- it's unsolicited advise, but you seem to be very centered and intelligent. I'm just bringing up more "homework"

Good luck.

Edited March 15, 2013 by NY_BX

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I'm curious, when did the medical become a requirement? A lot has changed since my husband and I got married and seems not for the better. Well convenience-wise anyways. Back then no medical required and no appointment necessary for the permission to marry. Also, isn't there now a charge for the permission to marry? Like $50 or something? I know there is a new charge somewhere along the line that we didn't have to pay.

From my understanding it's a post revolution thing and it's not always requested. Some people are requested to get it while others aren't asked for it. Depends on the day and the person you get. Some say it's done in cases where they don't like a couple "for whatever reasons" and want to give them the extra hassle.

Kind of like with what happens with premarital sex in Egypt. Culturally it's taboo but according to the law it's not illegal as long as they're consenting adults. Except in cases of prostitution where someone is getting paid for sex, which also does go on Egypt. People can have sex outside of marriage and you can stay in two separate rooms where one goes up to the others room at night. I know of couples on here that have gone through the K1 that have done that. The officials won't come banging on the doors unless they don't like you and want to give you the scandal. Premarital sex isn't punishable by law. Neither is having a baby outside of marriage.

I used to think premarital sex and having a baby out of wedlock in Egypt was against the law because of Islam but turns out I was misinformed. Having a baby out of wedlock in Egypt causes a mess for the mother because she can't get a birth certificate without the father's name. Most guys won't admit to having premarital sex because of the cultural taboo. Having a Orfi marriage also doesn't help the mother to get the guys name on the birth certificate because it's not recognized as a legal marriage in any country but Egypt and even Egypt outlawed orfi marriages once but it's still practiced for sexual relations.

Orfi marriages are looked down upon but they still go on. The benefits of an Orfi marriage are that they're easy to get into and out of. It takes a couple of hours with a lawyer to write it up and most places like hotels recognize them as legal documents so you can stay together. Then when the woman goes back to her home country and things don't work out she can just tear up the piece of paper and it's done. You don't even have to file a divorce because it's not recognized as the legal form of marriage between a foreigner and an Egyptian.

Western women aren't held to the same standards as Egyptians. In our society we can have premarital sex. We can have multiple partners. We can have babies by different men out of wedlock and hold them accountable as the father's. We can even live with our lovers for years, raise a family, and never get married and that's totally fine too. So honestly foreign women don't have to hold themselves to the same standards that Egyptian women do morally or religiously. Western women can pretty much have the same rights as Egyptian men when it comes to things. It's nobodies business and it's totally their prerogative. However Egyptian standards do hold their men to something entirely different when it comes to their own women because women there don't have a lot of the same liberties afforded to us. A western woman is entitled to the same things an Egyptian women is entitled to in a marriage to an Egyptian male but one can't really compare the standards between the two because we have different standards.

An Orfi won't help with immigration to the US but when you're not sure about the marriage, or about the person immigrating to live with you, and you just want to see some sites and "maybe have sex" with the person you've grown feelings for over the internet, without having the hassle from officials, then that's an option for you. The culture and the society look down upon it as sexual tourism. It destroys family values and brings in disease but it does go on. I have seen that sometimes these guys have several orfi wives at once that rotate visits and they get sex and money out of these foreign women. The foreign women in most cases don't know about the other Orfi wives. If these guys have no prospects for their future, which a lot of them don't, then sometimes this is their only option for the kind of lifestyle they want to have. I'm not saying it's right or wrong.

Also not all the guys that go for the Orfi marriage in Egypt are bad or opportunistic guys. I've seen a couple legitimate marriages on VJ that started out as an Orfi marriage where the couple shacked up in Egypt for awhile. This eventually resulted in the recognized form of legal marriage and then immigration to the States and now they're raising a family together. Most often the couple became pregnant before the marriage and might I add that some of these couples have been really good friends of ours on here for years. Other times I've seen women go on K1's, have premarital sex and get pregnant, then come back and petition for their spouse only to have the guy abandon her and the unborn child to marry an Egyptian. It happens and honestly it takes all kinds in this world. Only the people in the situation really know how they feel and what works for them.

In no way is this post a reflection of the OP. I'm just putting information out there that isn't otherwise talked about. But woman-to-woman I assume you're an adult, and can take care of your own reproductive health, and make your own lifestyle choices based on knowing yourself and what works for you once you have all the information. I just don't see the point of going through all the hassle of getting married only to come back and go through the hassle of getting divorced, or go through the hassle of going through immigration, when there is doubt that it will work out for the long term. Why put oneself through all that financial and emotional hardship unless you're sure marriage it what you really want? If you have cold feet now and you're not sure you're ready for that level of life long commitment then at least you know there's an easier option that's quicker and less painful. If you're serious about marriage and immigration then an Orfi marriage isn't for you.

Edited March 15, 2013 by Dr. A ♥ O