Divorcing after 1,5 year of marriage, horrible :(

[Chaan1985 0]

Hi guys,

I have been an "addicted" member for a long time when filing for K1 back in 2010. This website really helped me a lot, did everything on my own, like most of us and I finally arrived here in the US to be with my husband for the rest of my life...... I thought.

The first year of our marriage had it's lot of ups and quite a few downs, from both sides, me adjusting and for him working 24/7. Although, we had a good marriage, after 1,5 years we found out that we were just too different, wanting different things in life, although we were trying to read the book together, he was already on a different page.

I don't like to go into details, I hope you understand, but we BOTH decided that it's the best thing is to stay friends. We just starting the divorce process (agreements & all that)and we both want it to go as smooth as possible because we only want the best for each other. We don't want it to become a nasty divorce as we really still love each other, we are just not meant to be. And yes, I am very heart-broken about this all, never thought we would end up this way, since we were together since 2009

I received my GC in Feb 2012 (so, little over a year ago) and I can Remove Conditions in December, 2013. I would be devastated if I have to return to my home country, this because I work as a flight attendant for United, we both are still close like best friends, we both have pets that he is keeping, because of my job, but I fly (commute) to my husbands house to spend time with my pets whenever I am off. I moved to Houston from Pittsburgh because of my job and because my husband wants to move back to TX (asked for transfer within the company).

There are just too many reason why I don't want to move back to my home country:

- my husband, although we are going thru a divorce, yet he is my best friend and we have dogs and a cat that I also truly love

- my new life that I started here with him, yet I am moving on from him as his soon-to-be-ex-wife.

- my job I truly, truly, truly love doing. It's my passion.

What I am nervous about is the fact that I have to Remove Conditions while being divorced (I will be at the time I have to file).

My soon-to-be husband and I got married in very good intention. We have tons of pictures, we traveled together, I spent a lot of time with his family and what not.

I have pictures, I still have the house-lease with both our names on it, we are filing taxes together today now I'm in town, my name is on his insurance as well.

He is willing to write a letter stating that we both had a good marriage, but due to the fact we just want different things in life, we became uncompatable and we just want to remain

best friends.

What else should I give them when filing for Removing Conditions, other than divorce papers and the exemples I gave above in order to get my 10-year GC, so they wont force me to leave, because I built up a new life here.

I am just nervous. I gave up my whole life up for him, and I did that without regret, but it's just too much to go back, where I don't have that much family to start building up a new life again.

Thank you so much for your feed-back, I just need to know how to go from here... This is so nerve-wracking. The divorce coming up and removing conditions...

xoxo Chaan

*Dutch

*POE, Pittsburgh, August 15th, 2011

*Married, August 2011

*Received GC February, 2012.

[Andrea&Henry 311]

I'm so So so sorry for you! It must be a painful moment for both of you . You don't need to explain yourself, even when people get marry and in love, you can never know if it's going to work. My marriage is my first priority and I could imagine my life without my husband by my side. Well, at least you both are taking very good and work for a less painful/trouble divorce, speaks of how much you care about each other's feeling. The thing is that you obtained your green card base on your marriage to him, so removing conditions and not being married I don't know if that works. I think (If Im wrong PLEASE correct me) that you can still proceed with the ROC and still get your permanent green card but instead of waiting 1 year to apply for yoyr citizenship (benefit for being an USC spouse) you will need to wait 5 years like the rest of the green card holders.

[Herp Derp 3]

Ok, first thing, you don't have to wait till dec 2013 to file ROC. File your I-751 as soon as you get your divorce decree since your green card is conditional on your marriage to the USC husband. I think you have enough evidence to prove that you lived together and an affidavit from your husband will be cherry on the cake. I suggest you start collecting the evidence from now on and send in your application shortly after your divorce. You don't have to explain to them why you don't want to move back to your home country, just that you entered the marriage in good faith and it just did not work out. I think you'll be fine, I did mine without a lawyer and my case was much more complicated than yours with a vindictive psychopath spouse and a very short marriage.

Good luck.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

You need any of:

- joint bank accounts

- bills in both names

- health insurance with both

- car insurance with both names

- car registrations with both names

- tax transcripts/returns

- photos

- affidavits from friends/family

Anything you can think of that shows that you were living together but ALSO that you financially co-mingled.

**Edit - the Affidavit from your husband (soon to be ex) will be good and all, but it won't necessarily be "cherry on the cake". He doesn't need to write (and shouldn't write) that you want to "remain friends". Instead he should write simply that you married in good faith and that it did not work out. He does not need to go into details, he can put his phone number on it if they want to call him but that's all he needs to write.

The reason for not going into the "friends" thing is because you don't want to run the risk of them thinking he was just a friend who helped out another friend to get to the US.

Edited March 13, 2013 by Vanessa&Tony

[Chaan1985 0]

Thank you guys for the advice!! I highly appreciate the fact you guys took the time and reply to my post.

Our divorce will be final in 90-somewhat days, and I can file for I-751 right after we got our divorce-papers, although it's not in the 90-day time frame before Removing Conditions? Please, correct me if I'm wrong ...

[bt1 42]

You need any of:

- joint bank accounts

- bills in both names

- health insurance with both

- car insurance with both names

- car registrations with both names

- tax transcripts/returns

- photos

- affidavits from friends/family

Anything you can think of that shows that you were living together but ALSO that you financially co-mingled.

**Edit - the Affidavit from your husband (soon to be ex) will be good and all, but it won't necessarily be "cherry on the cake". He doesn't need to write (and shouldn't write) that you want to "remain friends". Instead he should write simply that you married in good faith and that it did not work out. He does not need to go into details, he can put his phone number on it if they want to call him but that's all he needs to write.

The reason for not going into the "friends" thing is because you don't want to run the risk of them thinking he was just a friend who helped out another friend to get to the US.

This is great advice: don't go the "we are still friends" route as it may complicate issues for you, they don't need to know you are still friends.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Thank you guys for the advice!! I highly appreciate the fact you guys took the time and reply to my post.

Our divorce will be final in 90-somewhat days, and I can file for I-751 right after we got our divorce-papers, although it's not in the 90-day time frame before Removing Conditions? Please, correct me if I'm wrong ...

Correct. You NEED to file ROC as soon as your divorce is final as being divorced you are in breach of the conditions of your greencard.

Edited March 13, 2013 by Vanessa&Tony

[Chaan1985 0]

That's good to know!! Thank you, once again !!!!!!

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

**** one inappropriate post and one quoting removed. Offer constructive advice or do not post ****

[Shiobhan 235]

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

*** two people thread banned *****

[KazAmerFam 2]

Hi guys,

I have been an "addicted" member for a long time when filing for K1 back in 2010. This website really helped me a lot, did everything on my own, like most of us and I finally arrived here in the US to be with my husband for the rest of my life...... I thought.

The first year of our marriage had it's lot of ups and quite a few downs, from both sides, me adjusting and for him working 24/7. Although, we had a good marriage, after 1,5 years we found out that we were just too different, wanting different things in life, although we were trying to read the book together, he was already on a different page.

I don't like to go into details, I hope you understand, but we BOTH decided that it's the best thing is to stay friends. We just starting the divorce process (agreements & all that)and we both want it to go as smooth as possible because we only want the best for each other. We don't want it to become a nasty divorce as we really still love each other, we are just not meant to be. And yes, I am very heart-broken about this all, never thought we would end up this way, since we were together since 2009

I received my GC in Feb 2012 (so, little over a year ago) and I can Remove Conditions in December, 2013. I would be devastated if I have to return to my home country, this because I work as a flight attendant for United, we both are still close like best friends, we both have pets that he is keeping, because of my job, but I fly (commute) to my husbands house to spend time with my pets whenever I am off. I moved to Houston from Pittsburgh because of my job and because my husband wants to move back to TX (asked for transfer within the company).

There are just too many reason why I don't want to move back to my home country:

- my husband, although we are going thru a divorce, yet he is my best friend and we have dogs and a cat that I also truly love

- my new life that I started here with him, yet I am moving on from him as his soon-to-be-ex-wife.

- my job I truly, truly, truly love doing. It's my passion.

What I am nervous about is the fact that I have to Remove Conditions while being divorced (I will be at the time I have to file).

My soon-to-be husband and I got married in very good intention. We have tons of pictures, we traveled together, I spent a lot of time with his family and what not.

I have pictures, I still have the house-lease with both our names on it, we are filing taxes together today now I'm in town, my name is on his insurance as well.

He is willing to write a letter stating that we both had a good marriage, but due to the fact we just want different things in life, we became uncompatable and we just want to remain

best friends.

What else should I give them when filing for Removing Conditions, other than divorce papers and the exemples I gave above in order to get my 10-year GC, so they wont force me to leave, because I built up a new life here.

I am just nervous. I gave up my whole life up for him, and I did that without regret, but it's just too much to go back, where I don't have that much family to start building up a new life again.

Thank you so much for your feed-back, I just need to know how to go from here... This is so nerve-wracking. The divorce coming up and removing conditions...

xoxo Chaan

*Dutch

*POE, Pittsburgh, August 15th, 2011

*Married, August 2011

*Received GC February, 2012.

Please don't be upset so much, it may happen to everyone, i amso sorry to hear that, i feel sorry that young families break, it's so sad. It's strange that you didn't see similar interests while you were processing the visa, perhaps when you're in love you don't see the things are not common. Maybeyour life will change. I can understand your intentions to stay there, coz all of your relatives expected you to be with your husband and comeback with a shame is no good

[Ban Hammer 13,481]

post removed and returned below minus quote, which was removed for tos violation.

are you kidding me? marriages end every day amicably, just because theirs did after only a year and a half does not spell fraud. Had they stayed married only in order for her to receive their 10 year card and file for divorce immediately after, would be misrepresentation. This woman didn't come here asking for judgments, she came asking for advice. If you cannot offer some sort of advice, don't say anything at all. My ex husband and I divorced after 20 years of marriage, amicably. Many people I know who are divorced, including my own parents, divorced because they wanted different things in life, and are better friends now then when they were married.

[Matt an Bee 0]

sounds like you wont be getting be getting a ten year green card...

[decocker 7,198]

sounds like you wont will be getting be getting a ten year green card...

fixed.

op - follow the advice you've been given by vanessa&tony and you'll be fine.