Offline Relationships

[duraaraa 203]

I just wanted to start a topic to talk about something which kind of makes me scratch my head. My relationship with my fiancee is, actually, totally off-line. We met when I lived in her country and lived together there. We communicate on the phone, and she doesn't have internet access.

Looking at most of the others in the K-1 process, I wonder if it will be considered strange or suspicious that I don't have mountains of chat logs. Of course, I can prove that I called her on the phone, and how long we talked, and even how much I talk to her kids. I can even prove that I called her when I lived in Mongolia, because she has my phone logs from when I lived there. However, because it is not written correspondence, I can't prove the actual contents of our conversations.

I guess in the modern day, it's a lot more common for an American to meet his/her fiance/e online than offline. I wonder if having met online or offline matters in any way, and if it is a problem, or even a red flag, that we don't have online correspondence records.

Anyone else in a similar situation, with no emails, no chat logs, and a relationship formed off-line? How did it go at the interview? Should I start sending her letters by snail mail so that we can keep written correspondence to show at the interview?

Edited March 12, 2013 by duraaraa

[wilfon 30]

I just wanted to start a topic to talk about something which kind of makes me scratch my head. My relationship with my fiancee is, actually, totally off-line. We met when I lived in her country and lived together there. We communicate on the phone, and she doesn't have internet access.

Looking at most of the others in the K-1 process, I wonder if it will be considered strange or suspicious that I don't have mountains of chat logs. Of course, I can prove that I called her on the phone, and how long we talked, and even how much I talk to her kids. I can even prove that I called her when I lived in Mongolia, because she has my phone logs from when I lived there. However, because it is not written correspondence, I can't prove the actual contents of our conversations.

I guess in the modern day, it's a lot more common for an American to meet his/her fiance/e online than offline. I wonder if having met online or offline matters in any way, and if it is a problem, or even a red flag, that we don't have online correspondence records.

Anyone else in a similar situation, with no emails, no chat logs, and a relationship formed off-line? How did it go at the interview? Should I start sending her letters by snail mail so that we can keep written correspondence to show at the interview?

The most important things are that you two have met within 2 years of your filing of your petition and that you are both free to marry before you filed your petition. I would definitely start sending emails, letters, skyping, yahoo or something that has a timestamp on it. Good luck to you guys

[baron555 934]

Should I start sending her letters by snail mail so that we can keep written correspondence to show at the interview?

Answer this question first: "How will I prove to a total stranger, the Embassy CO, that I have a legitimate relationship?"

You word is not enough. You will have to provide evidence. If you do not have evidence, then you should/MUST start to purposefully generate different evidences....so that when all put together, you can prove to a stranger that you have a relationship.

Yes, I'd say it's a red flag, no proof, no visa (maybe).

[GandD 5,966]

Do you have photos of you together within the last two years?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I just wanted to start a topic to talk about something which kind of makes me scratch my head. My relationship with my fiancee is, actually, totally off-line. We met when I lived in her country and lived together there. We communicate on the phone, and she doesn't have internet access.

Looking at most of the others in the K-1 process, I wonder if it will be considered strange or suspicious that I don't have mountains of chat logs. Of course, I can prove that I called her on the phone, and how long we talked, and even how much I talk to her kids. I can even prove that I called her when I lived in Mongolia, because she has my phone logs from when I lived there. However, because it is not written correspondence, I can't prove the actual contents of our conversations.

I guess in the modern day, it's a lot more common for an American to meet his/her fiance/e online than offline. I wonder if having met online or offline matters in any way, and if it is a problem, or even a red flag, that we don't have online correspondence records.

Anyone else in a similar situation, with no emails, no chat logs, and a relationship formed off-line? How did it go at the interview? Should I start sending her letters by snail mail so that we can keep written correspondence to show at the interview?

We met by chance in an airport in a country neither of us live in with no intent of meeting anyone. We communicated by email and by telephone, no skype, no texts. We both had busy lives are were rarely both at a computer at the same time, but we had cell phones and could call anytime. I visited Alla in Ukraine 6 times during the 6 months our case was in process.

We used our travel evidence, email logs and few emails, some photos and a phone log as evidence. No questions asked. FWIW they looked at four photos and nothing else.

If you use a long distance calling card there are some that produce call logs. We used the "Continental Card" by Penny-Boss. We still use it to call friends and MIL in Ukraine. We have yet to find a cheaper way to call Ukraine

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

First off I'd say it's not more common that Americans meet their spouses online than offline. But it doesn't matter how you met. Your issue is that you may not have a lot of supporting documents/evidence of your relationship when it comes time for the interview. If internet communication is off the table then you need to start saving all phone records, send letters or care packages to each other (this is a good idea), and if you can afford it take more trips to see her and take lots of photos. As Baron555 said, the task is to convince a total stranger that you have a legitimate relationship.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Answer this question first: "How will I prove to a total stranger, the Embassy CO, that I have a legitimate relationship?"

You word is not enough. You will have to provide evidence. If you do not have evidence, then you should/MUST start to purposefully generate different evidences....so that when all put together, you can prove to a stranger that you have a relationship.

Yes, I'd say it's a red flag, no proof, no visa (maybe).

Good advice. It is not a normal relationship, until they get citizenship, and you have to keep evidence. For most of our relationship before marriage, Alla got internet access where she could...internet clubs mostly, sometimes hotels. I sent emails to her every day but she maybe could read them 2 or 3 times per week, and she was never a big "email person". It was 3 emails to 1 basically but that did not matter. We talked by phone 3-4 times per day and had evidence of that

Yes, definitely FIND a way to generate evidence but you do not have to have ALL the evidence other people speak of.

[duraaraa 203]

I use google voice, so I have a log of every time I called her, how much it cost, how long the call was, etc. I plan to send birthday cards and presents soon, for her kids, but Mongolia's postal system is essentially nothing (no mailman, no mail boxes, one post office for the whole capital city), so it's very hard for us to have that kind of correspondence regularly. Plus, it would be expensive to translate a lot of correspondence.

For photo evidence, I probably have six or seven photos. I also have a bunch of photos taken by her kids on my Nintendo DS, which are quite funny and usually drawn on, but there are pictures of both of us on there. I think, actually, the pictures the kids took show the bona fides of the relationship very well.

The problem is that most of the pictures we took are with one of us with the kids, taken by the other one, but I think it will be alright, as proof that I am close with her kids can only be good for our case.

I am depending on the fact that I lived with her in her country for nine months as the biggest evidence, I suppose.

Edited March 12, 2013 by duraaraa

[BaBamSam 239]

It shouldn't matter whether you met online or offline - it seems pretty split here on VJ and, actually, all the couples I know in my personal life who went through K-1 or CR-1 or adjusted from VWP all met in person.

I met mine when he studied abroad at my university here in the States and, by pure coincidence, I was studying abroad at his the following year. So we were able to do a year as friends in the US, start dating, a year as a couple in the UK, a semester dating while I was finishing my degree in the US and he started work, half a year living together in the UK after I graduated, and now a year long distance with us both developing individually and strengthening our relationship. We communicate long-distance mostly through FaceTime and by iMessage (mostly to say when we will FaceTime haha), so evidence of communication is hard aside from screenshots of our FaceTime talks. But we also have a lot of pictures together and included sworn affidavits of our relationship

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I use google voice, so I have a log of every time I called her, how much it cost, how long the call was, etc. I plan to send birthday cards and presents soon, for her kids, but Mongolia's postal system is essentially nothing (no mailman, no mail boxes, one post office for the whole capital city), so it's very hard for us to have that kind of correspondence regularly. Plus, it would be expensive to translate a lot of correspondence.

For photo evidence, I probably have six or seven photos. I also have a bunch of photos taken by her kids on my Nintendo DS, which are quite funny and usually drawn on, but there are pictures of both of us on there. I think, actually, the pictures the kids took show the bona fides of the relationship very well.

The problem is that most of the pictures we took are with one of us with the kids, taken by the other one, but I think it will be alright, as proof that I am close with her kids can only be good for our case.

I am depending on the fact that I lived with her in her country for nine months as the biggest evidence, I suppose.

"Proof of relationship" is shown by more than photos of the TWO of you together. FWIW we had tons of photos and they only looked at four. Photos with the kids seem very good, why not? We sued lots of evidence of ME being considered the "parent" for our AOS and ROC processes. excellent evidence. A person pulling a fraud is not likely to subject her kids to some stranger.

[duraaraa 203]

"Proof of relationship" is shown by more than photos of the TWO of you together. FWIW we had tons of photos and they only looked at four. Photos with the kids seem very good, why not? We sued lots of evidence of ME being considered the "parent" for our AOS and ROC processes. excellent evidence. A person pulling a fraud is not likely to subject her kids to some stranger.

That's reassuring. I probably have more photographic proof of my relationship with the kids than I do of my relationship with my fiancee.

In a feel-good way to end this topic, though, I figured out a way to activate a Mongolian VOIP account which allows SMS message sending and receiving... so if I get it working and we use that to communicate, I'll have my written proof. I'll also have plenty to do in my spare time, translating all of the messages to English.

Edited March 12, 2013 by duraaraa

[baron555 934]

That's reassuring. I probably have more photographic proof of my relationship with the kids than I do of my relationship with my fiancee.

In a feel-good way to end this topic, though, I figured out a way to activate a Mongolian VOIP account which allows SMS message sending and receiving... so if I get it working and we use that to communicate, I'll have my written proof. I'll also have plenty to do in my spare time, translating all of the messages to English.

My advice is to plan to send to your fiance for her interview a "Evolution of Our Relationship" letter; about three pages, that describes in word your relationship with with this woman and her children and refers to specific evidences to support the statement.

You should be able to recount how you first met, how the relationship went through the "normal" progression and how it is now and leading to your expected marriage and continued relationship after marriage.

It doesn't need to be too sappy but do include how you both first met, how you both first determined to continue and when you first both determined to make a life together.

[TBoneTX 45,289]

*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to General Immigration Discussion -- topic is germane to more than one visa type. ***

(Organizer hat off)

Excellent topic with great responses. At our Stokes interview, the Foreign Service National (no, we didn't even have the courtesy of an interview with an American) made a rather big deal of asking about postal and overnight-service communications. We had some, of course.

Also, I doubt that the embassy in Mongolia has to deal with many fraudulent cases, because of the remoteness and the language barrier, so I suspect that a nice mixture of any reasonable evidence will enable you to achieve issuance of the visa. Furthermore, you radiate sincerity. The COs will be well aware of the technological shortcomings of the country in which they too live. And, who knows -- having a "honey-bunny" visa application to consider might be a pleasant diversion for them.

[newlyweds2010 208]

We did not produce a single email or chat log at any time during our visa journey. So far so good.

[misterbigtoe 45]

*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to General Immigration Discussion -- topic is germane to more than one visa type. ***

(Organizer hat off)

................................. I suspect that a nice mixture of any reasonable evidence will enable you to achieve issuance of the visa. Furthermore, you radiate sincerity. The COs will be well aware of the technological shortcomings of the country in which they too live. And, who knows -- having a "honey-bunny" visa application to consider might be a pleasant diversion for them.