We're both in tears over this. Please help. I can't be without her.

[EasternDE 35]

I'm really going to try to contribute to this community, I have found a lot of great information here. I'm a writer and a scientist; paperwork and follow-up is what I live for daily. This place is a gold mine!

Our plan as of now is to do what was suggested -- I'm going to move our stuff down first and get us set up. From there, she's going to come on in for a visit, then subsequent visits. I travel a lot for work all over the freaking globe, so when I have to do an extended China trip (a month or two weeks) or something, she'll go hang out at home. We're going to figure this out; but believe me, this was a shock. A real serious "holy #######, what are we going to do" kind of shock. I plan, I figure, I do these things. This one was in a list of things we needed to get to, and the task before us is way larger than either of us initially had gotten perspective on seeing. I was working 75+ hour weeks and managing two product lines, this got moved into the "we'll get to it" category, which obviously was a miscalculation.

Flamers, I know your individual cases are important. Ours is too, especially to my wife and I. I never said that your cases were unimportant, that was put in my mouth. Thanks for all of the help here though, it is invaluable.

Let's be honest, at some point we are all get through that phase, "Oh my!!! What are we going to do?! It's the end of the wooooorld! We will never be able to do this! We can't do this and that!"

You really really need to take a step back, because I'm afraid you can't see clearly right now. But I think you're on already on the good path.

Here's a couple of random suggestions:

- Do not hire a lawyer, you do not need one. Your case is very normal and typical. Hiring a lawyer will only slow you down and make your wallet to shrink. This is the most important thing of your life, you want to be able to control it yourself, OK? (You seem this type of guy.)

- Have a glimpse on the overall picture and process, but take one step at a time. The whole thing is too overwhelming at first. If you take it step by step, you will find solutions.

- Do not jeopardize your love and life doing stupid risky things. Do it the right way. There are many stories here about some couples who had a very straight forward case but totally screwed it up because they thought they couldn't be apart for a couple of months.

I think these 3 things are the key.

It's not going to be fun, for sure, but you, like us, can make it.

You came thinking your case was "unique", of course it's unique for you, but you came to the right place, as we are or were as the exact same situation as you are right now.

I don't think those flamers have bad intentions, they want you to have a little more perspective. Of course, being crossed star lovers with someone who's really on the other side of the planet is much harder. Some people endure years of separation...

Again, it means you can certainly manage this situation, without tears.

We can only help you with the legal aspect of the immigration process but I think you need to figure out of couple of personal things first.

I would also advice you to look for advice and support in the Canadian section of this forum:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/forum/93-canada/

[His karma 20]

You came to the right place for support. I hope it all works out for you

Edited March 13, 2013 by His karma

[newlyweds2010 208]

That stopped the tears!

So is there anything wrong with us hopping over to Buffalo to get married and come back? We have found nothing that states this is bad, we called a place in Niagara that specializes in exactly this.

Is there anything wrong with this as you see that would potentially marr our process? I was under the assumption that this was completely legal!

The only wrong thing is see is the venue of your wedding: I just returned from Buffalo last night and, man, it is a nasty place

Joking aside, there is nothing wrong about you two crossing the border to get married, provided that she then goes back to Canada and does not attempt to stay and adjust status from within the US. As others mentioned already, that would be immigration fraud. Once you have done that, you will need to file for a spousal visa, which will take some time but should not be too hard to obtain. Best of luck.

[Love's JAA 100]

We literally have nowhere else for her to stay.

@Harpa Timsah:

How can this be the case? I pay our bills. I sustain US. If she can't come with me, she's homeless. Is there NO way to work around this?

Send her a check every month to maintain your home in Canada for her until she can come. There's no reason why you can't pay the bills from Texas.

[islandgal 74]

Does he qualify for Direct Consular filing since he resides outside the US? If so he can file at the consular office in Canada and those applications are much quicker from what I understand

There's no DCF for Canada.

[Kiv 32]

I travel all over the world and I met the woman I looked for my entire life in Canada. We've been together almost a year now and every morning is like the first time we woke up together. Yeah, it's hard for you too, I'm not debating that. This is new to me.

I loved to read how much you love her, I am sure she loves you too.

Sorry you have this reality in front of you, but it is not as terrible as it looks today, you may be lucky and pass this in a few months, if you have the opportunity to see each other outside the US while you wait, then it is better, in my case that was expensive. Get familiar with the process, and prepare your information carefully.

There are many helpful persons on this forums that can help you while filing, I hope you have an easy process.

[ShirahBet 42]

There isn't anything wrong with getting married in a foreign country. I got married in Toronto last May. However, getting married and staying is a different story. There is a big chance that your soon to be wife would be stopped at the Point of Entry, whichever one you choose, especially with a moving truck and being married. But this is nothing to be stressed about and it's not very severe in terms of a million other situations, like overstaying a visa or committing a crime... or committing a crime on an overstayed visa.

But at the land borders, I've found immigration to be difficult. I've crossed the land and air borders to Canada and in the States several times recently and they've all given me a hard time with exception to my trip to Canada to get married and my most recent trip to Europe to see my husband.

I think if you calmly research what it is that you need to do: get married; file I-130 from a foreign address; collect information for affadavit of support and immigration packet, you'll be fine.

Being apart sucks, but the distance that you're apart is very minimal and crossing into Canada is not very difficult.

[Boiler 45,402]

I personally am not in favour of PM's, but sometimes they are the only way.

To the OP there are also occasions when you are much better taking legal advice from an Immigration Lawyer than a board such as this.

This is one of them.

You may be pleasantly surprised what you hear.

Edited March 13, 2013 by Boiler

[mozplay 29]

Jim, I'm glad you have joined VisaJourney in your efforts to figure out your options, but be very careful how you respond to people. Know that some of the folks on this thread have been giving good, solid, valuable advice for free for many many years. If you want to learn all that you can, you may want to put yourself in a place of humility and just take it all in. Good and bad, criticism and kudos.

I am Canadian and my husband is the USC. When we first decided that I'd be making the move to the US, I naively thought that the process would maybe take a month or so to complete. In my mind, that was reasonable, right? I can't tell you how surprised I was when I started doing the research. But here is what we finally decided to do.

• I gave up my apartment and changed my permanent address to my aunt's address whom I had lived with before especially during transition periods.
• I packed up everything I wanted to keep and put it all in storage.
• At the end of the school year (I was a teacher) I put my dog and 1 suitcase in the trunk of my USC's car and we crossed the border. I had a history of crossing back and forth for a while, but they still pulled us into secondary mostly because I was not in my own car. After a short stay there, we were allowed to cross.
• At that point, I intended to stay for the summer and then go back to work in September. But getting pulled into secondary at the border crossing frightened the ####### out of me and we changed our plans. As a Canadian, I can VISIT the US for up to six months during a 12 month period. And that's what I did. We filed for a K-1 Visa while in the US and I stayed the six months living off of my fiance's savings.
• At the end of those six months, I returned to Canada for about 3 weeks while I attended the interview in Montreal, got the medical done, said my final goodbyes, rented a one-way Uhaul and loaded up my stuff.
• Crossing the border this time was a breeze, because I had all my paperwork in order.

So all in all, we were apart for under a month and at that point, it was like a little vacation.

Now, much of this will be different for you as you plan to get married first. When I filed, there were advantages to the K-1 route that I don't think exist anymore. But as a Canadian, she can VISIT the US for most of the waiting period. And regardless of what you say, there must be someone she can stay with if the six months are up and she needs to go back. Canadians aren't heartless people - someone will let her couch surf.

It's just a matter of timing though. I agree with others ... she shouldn't be in the truck with you with all your worldly possessions. Can she cross before that? Is there someone for her to stay with in Buffalo? How long between your marriage on Monday and the date of your move? Regardless, good luck and take comfort in knowing that though the process is the same for Canadians as everyone else, at least you are closer to her than those who have their spouses and fiancees halfway across the world. What's a few months when you will have the rest of your lives together.

[moemac59 192]

Jim, I'm glad you have joined VisaJourney in your efforts to figure out your options, but be very careful how you respond to people. Know that some of the folks on this thread have been giving good, solid, valuable advice for free for many many years. If you want to learn all that you can, you may want to put yourself in a place of humility and just take it all in. Good and bad, criticism and kudos.

I am Canadian and my husband is the USC. When we first decided that I'd be making the move to the US, I naively thought that the process would maybe take a month or so to complete. In my mind, that was reasonable, right? I can't tell you how surprised I was when I started doing the research. But here is what we finally decided to do.

• I gave up my apartment and changed my permanent address to my aunt's address whom I had lived with before especially during transition periods.
• I packed up everything I wanted to keep and put it all in storage.
• At the end of the school year (I was a teacher) I put my dog and 1 suitcase in the trunk of my USC's car and we crossed the border. I had a history of crossing back and forth for a while, but they still pulled us into secondary mostly because I was not in my own car. After a short stay there, we were allowed to cross.
• At that point, I intended to stay for the summer and then go back to work in September. But getting pulled into secondary at the border crossing frightened the ####### out of me and we changed our plans. As a Canadian, I can VISIT the US for up to six months during a 12 month period. And that's what I did. We filed for a K-1 Visa while in the US and I stayed the six months living off of my fiance's savings.
• At the end of those six months, I returned to Canada for about 3 weeks while I attended the interview in Montreal, got the medical done, said my final goodbyes, rented a one-way Uhaul and loaded up my stuff.
• Crossing the border this time was a breeze, because I had all my paperwork in order.

So all in all, we were apart for under a month and at that point, it was like a little vacation.

Now, much of this will be different for you as you plan to get married first. When I filed, there were advantages to the K-1 route that I don't think exist anymore. But as a Canadian, she can VISIT the US for most of the waiting period. And regardless of what you say, there must be someone she can stay with if the six months are up and she needs to go back. Canadians aren't heartless people - someone will let her couch surf.

It's just a matter of timing though. I agree with others ... she shouldn't be in the truck with you with all your worldly possessions. Can she cross before that? Is there someone for her to stay with in Buffalo? How long between your marriage on Monday and the date of your move? Regardless, good luck and take comfort in knowing that though the process is the same for Canadians as everyone else, at least you are closer to her than those who have their spouses and fiancees halfway across the world. What's a few months when you will have the rest of your lives together.

Jim,

This may be your best bet yet. If she goes down to stay with you, then she can always get a PO box in Canada to get her mail delivered. When your fiancee has to return to Canada, maybe you can get a short term rental place somewhere either in TO or in one of the suburbs like Hamilton, Oakville or Burlington which may be cheaper and she may qualify for welfare as well.

[squirrelisan 23]

Just look at all the traffic this thread is getting....I think the OP hit something deep seeded in everyone.

[Boiler 45,402]

I imagine that the OP has the information he needs now.

[VikingMamma 2]

LOL. Wait until Boiler jumps in...

To the OP... In my experience Canada has a Social System, and if she needs assistance with housing I am sure that before you BOTH leave HER country you should start there. She may need to go back to work. She may need to work out staying with Friends. She may need to see if she can stay with MOM. You will be separated.. and she will need to survive. You seemed concerned for her.. then You may need to figure out how to afford housing in BOTH countries.

Original poster.. I am speaking from experience.. trust me when I say.. I am a single mom, thanks to our choices on how to handle this immigration situation. I am here in the US with a 2 year old and WE have to send each other money all the time back and forth until this is all over. I housed my husband in Canada for 6 months to get us through the Birth of our child. I traveled back and forth thru a Michigan / Canadian winter until 2 days before I had our daughter. All I am saying is... it wont be easy.. but you can do it. Stop crying, think logically, and figure out a means to an end. This will be over soon, and you will get thru it. But don't break the rules, figure out cheaper housing for her in Canada, and file for your visa.

Ditto this. You've got to get your head on straight. I've got a 15 month old who couldn't pick her dad out of a line-up if she had to, up until recently... because she's spent more time away from him than she has with him, because of the immigration process. Be happy it's just the two of you that you have worry about in this process! That being said, We have managed just fine. Yes, it sucked being apart but, if you two really love each other and want to be together, y'all need to buck up and push forward. In the grand scheme of life what's a couple months? I recommend you get a support network set up for both of you. It will make the process a whole lot easier.One or the other of us has been unemployed throughout this whole process, but we still made things work financially and with our living situations... We couldn't have done that without having a plan and seeking out support, both virtually and IRL.

Also, read up on the guides here on VisaJourney. They are a lifesaver and I have never had an RFE thanks to the wonderful help of the people on here. Get informed so you can speed up the process as much as possible! GL

Edited March 14, 2013 by VikingMamma

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

*** One post against TOS and one responding removed. This thread is now closed as OP has all the information he needs about legal ways to immigrate. OP: if you need specific information about aspects of your Visajourney, feel free to open a new thread *****