We're both in tears over this. Please help. I can't be without her.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Family based immigration is about real lives and real marriages. Or at least it should be. It isn't about quick fixes and sneaky ways to accomplish a goal. It's about how to have a real life together. A real life that goes beyond the separation of visa processes, blah blah blah.

I would like to tell you a little story. It's about a man and a woman who met online and fell in love. They were 4000 miles apart and couldn't wait to close that gap. They researched and filed all the papers. They got a visa. He moved here. They got married. They moved house and they changed jobs. They made friends online and in real life. They loved each other. To bits.

He got sick. And sicker. And sicker still. It was silent and quiet and they didn't really know how bad.

Now she worries. Day. And night. How much longer? What will this test say? And that? What is next? Why is he so thin? Does this one positive thing mean he is better? Or does it really mean nothing? How much longer? How much longer - how much longer will she have him? This - this center of whatever in her that is good? How. Much. Longer.

People just need to develop some perception. It makes the little things seemm so much.........easier.

[evelyn1140 18]

Yes, that is what I was thinking also. I mean, technically she COULD stay in the US as Canadians are allowed to for up to 6 months in a calendar year, but by having zero ties to Canada (no place to live, no job) it is highly unlikely they will even allow her across the border.

I was thinking the same thing. They might not let her pass if they see she does not have any ties in Toronto.

[evelyn1140 18]

It has nothing to do with rudeness, I'm very grateful. I'm certainly not arrogant. But you know what, I'm trying the best with every possible available resource. To me, my situation is the most important, WAY more important than yours. BUT, your situation is WAY more important to you than mine. Understand what I'm saying? That's all!

Overall what people are trying t to tell you here it is not shortcut for your situation. IT will be a separation, she would not able to stay in US without a visa. Going to a lawyer would make you realize the truth.

p.s if you need help with the paperwork and save an extra money, you should come here people will help you.

Keep us posted

Edited March 13, 2013 by evelyn1140

[PeaMealBacon 12]

Oh, I don't think the dude "apologized". I think he got an "alternate answer" in his PM box so that sweetened him up a little bit. That's all.

"Dude" apologized. Give me a break.

I'm not sure what an "alternate answer" means, but I haven't gotten that yet if it's coming. I'm assuming you mean that someone chided me privately, and no, it hasn't happened. Feel free if you need to be the one to do it.

As far as the flaming goes on the "in tears," yeah - we were. This sucks. We spend all of our time together, all of it. Neither of us "need a kidney," which feels like a slam for some reason. I travel all over the world and I met the woman I looked for my entire life in Canada. We've been together almost a year now and every morning is like the first time we woke up together. Yeah, it's hard for you too, I'm not debating that. This is new to me.

[PeaMealBacon 12]

I'm really going to try to contribute to this community, I have found a lot of great information here. I'm a writer and a scientist; paperwork and follow-up is what I live for daily. This place is a gold mine!

Our plan as of now is to do what was suggested -- I'm going to move our stuff down first and get us set up. From there, she's going to come on in for a visit, then subsequent visits. I travel a lot for work all over the freaking globe, so when I have to do an extended China trip (a month or two weeks) or something, she'll go hang out at home. We're going to figure this out; but believe me, this was a shock. A real serious "holy #######, what are we going to do" kind of shock. I plan, I figure, I do these things. This one was in a list of things we needed to get to, and the task before us is way larger than either of us initially had gotten perspective on seeing. I was working 75+ hour weeks and managing two product lines, this got moved into the "we'll get to it" category, which obviously was a miscalculation.

Flamers, I know your individual cases are important. Ours is too, especially to my wife and I. I never said that your cases were unimportant, that was put in my mouth. Thanks for all of the help here though, it is invaluable.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

**** More posts removed for suggestions which violate TOS and off topic posts. THis is your final warning; give the OP constructive, LEGAL advice or do not post. Thread bans and suspensions will follow *****

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I'm really going to try to contribute to this community, I have found a lot of great information here. I'm a writer and a scientist; paperwork and follow-up is what I live for daily. This place is a gold mine!

Our plan as of now is to do what was suggested -- I'm going to move our stuff down first and get us set up. From there, she's going to come on in for a visit, then subsequent visits. I travel a lot for work all over the freaking globe, so when I have to do an extended China trip (a month or two weeks) or something, she'll go hang out at home. We're going to figure this out; but believe me, this was a shock. A real serious "holy #######, what are we going to do" kind of shock. I plan, I figure, I do these things. This one was in a list of things we needed to get to, and the task before us is way larger than either of us initially had gotten perspective on seeing. I was working 75+ hour weeks and managing two product lines, this got moved into the "we'll get to it" category, which obviously was a miscalculation.

Flamers, I know your individual cases are important. Ours is too, especially to my wife and I. I never said that your cases were unimportant, that was put in my mouth. Thanks for all of the help here though, it is invaluable.

You're a busy guy, aren't you?

If this lady is as important to you as you say (and I do think she is, btw), then I hope you'll take a little lesson from all this.

All that working stuff - important, sure. It pays the bills. But.......stuff can sneak up on you. Like this did. If this throws you, what will you do when something really bad happens?

It looks like you're on your way to figuring it all out. Hope so. It's just the beginning of your lives together. I hope it's grand for you. It has been for us.

[lynndy38 64]

Could your soon to be wife claim welfare in Canada,get social housing ect just to see her through until your visa is complete?

Im a UK citizen so obviously have no idea how the benefits system works, but its what I've had to do whilst apart from my US husband. Like you we had very difficult circumstances,I'd left my ex husband,was homeless and jobless. I ended up in a tiny bedsit on welfare looking for work. Nothing came up,the UK too is buckling right now and job prospects are awful. Anyway,its been very tough but I try to see it as this will be a short time in my life to get through and it won't last forever. Eric and I too had NO idea how difficult it would be to obtain a visa, this site truly is awesome. Everyone wants to be with their loved one ASAP, but the tough reality is we all will have to wait and be apart. Don't lose hope you can and will get through this if the love you say you have for each other is strong.

In the meantime look into any financial help she may get, having a lease on a flat would also help as ties to Canada when she comes to visit you.

Good luck and be prepared for one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride

Edited March 13, 2013 by lynndy38

[A and T 82]

You should marry in canada!

[NikLR 13,227]

I think this guy can support his wife. She doesn't need to claim welfare. Yeesh.

Jim I hope it all works out for you. To be honest I've never had a problem visiting my husband. I've never been asked to provide the evidence I carry of my ties to Canada, but I have been asked what I do, what he does, how we met, etc. She will probably get more questions at the airport, so let her know. She could certainly join you on your trips abroad too.

I hope this goes fast for ya!

[Justine+David 218]

Many others have given you some good advice. Here's a bit of food for thought: Obviously she should not overstay her visit. This is compounded by the fact that you're going to be living in Dallas, which is not only a border state, but also a red state. There is a higher rate of immigrants being picked up and asked for their documents, which leads to a higher risk of being caught/deported if you don't have the proper documentation. This is well-documented if you do a search in google.

Although she may not be racially profiled (if she's of European descent), the risk is still greater than if she lived in a non-border state. You can visit the "Waivers and Administrative Processes" forum for many sad stories on people who were caught/broke the rules, etc etc.

Best of luck on your visa and new life with your fiancee. Keep in mind that there are many members that wait years to be reunited with their loved one and often live very far away in war-torn countries who still don't get approved expedited requests. My point is to keep things in perspective. It was hard that David was living across the ocean during our visa process, but I'm grateful that we had a smooth process and had enough funds to visit each other during it.

Edited March 13, 2013 by Justine+David

[Michael-Moneth 6]

I don't understand what you're saying because you are no better than anyone else, so the immigration process applies to you as equally as it does to anyone else. MsHogan, myself and many others on here are just trying to inform you of the reality of the time-consuming process that is immigration. We have no motive to make you feel worse or bad about anything - it is just reality.

And, to be honest, I am sorry you feel that you are so much more important. My case is most important to me sure, but not so important that I feel like I should be pushed to the front of the queue and everyone else should wait. It is a process and everyone who applied before me deserves to be processed first. This forum is a community for people to support each other and reward one another for patience. We celebrate when others are finally successful, and we empathize with those of us still waiting.

I totally agree...

[Ms Hogan 295]

Ask about the option to "walk" your marriage license over to the registrar for expedited marriage certificate after the ceremony - some places allow that if you explain you need it fast. Also make sure to purchase 3-4 certified copies. Only photocopy of marriage certificate is required with I-130 - you show original at interview, but you always want to have extras with you.

We were married in Niagara Falls on a Saturday and the clerk at the chapel took our paperwork over first thing on the Monday morning for us as she knew I needed to get the certificate in-hand right away! This is a great suggestion. I had already filled out all our paperwork for the I-130 and just needed to add that certificate to it. By having the clerk bring the signed license over in the morning, I was able to go in at lunch-time to pay for and pick up a few original copies of the certificate. It was very easy! There are only a few clerk's offices that will do it on-the-spot immediately for you. If you would like the details of where I had everything coordinated please PM me and I'd be happy to help.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Our plan as of now is to do what was suggested -- I'm going to move our stuff down first and get us set up. From there, she's going to come on in for a visit, then subsequent visits. I travel a lot for work all over the freaking globe, so when I have to do an extended China trip (a month or two weeks) or something, she'll go hang out at home. We're going to figure this out; but believe me, this was a shock. A real serious "holy #######, what are we going to do" kind of shock. I plan, I figure, I do these things. This one was in a list of things we needed to get to, and the task before us is way larger than either of us initially had gotten perspective on seeing. I was working 75+ hour weeks and managing two product lines, this got moved into the "we'll get to it" category, which obviously was a miscalculation.

Jim, it seems you are well into the process of figuring it out. That is progress already.

Someone else said, 'where there is a will, there is a way'. I would rather remind you that in your case 'there is a way and a will' instead. Take both statements as a call to the strength and determination of your commitment to each other in these apparently uncertain times. I can only hope that these few months you will need to sort out living apart from each other may be the hardest of the times your relationship will ever have to endure. A partnership is full of challenges, and in your current predicament, it is only a matter of time and money.

Being apart is unpleasant and generates a lot of anxiety, but remember that if you mean to marry each other for always; ten years from now, all this will be in the past. That is the notion to which both of you need to cling so that you can ace the next few months. That is the 'will' part.

To be sure, no one here knows of your particular situation and constraints but remember that others here have been where you are today, perhaps not in the same exact point, but close enough; and they too have managed the turbulence and made safe landings. Draw strength from those who have posted their positive testimonials and suggestions here. Accept and plan for those contingencies on which you were not counting. Plan for the next months, plan your visits and plan for contingencies there too. Always have something to which you can look forward at each step of the process, so that there is always something new on the horizon from which both of you can draw inspiration, patience, wisdom and understanding.

Others have done it. You sound as though you can too. Good luck!

Edited March 13, 2013 by Gegel

[tehans 52]

Does he qualify for Direct Consular filing since he resides outside the US? If so he can file at the consular office in Canada and those applications are much quicker from what I understand