We're both in tears over this. Please help. I can't be without her.

[Ms Hogan 295]

I hate to add to the negative vibe but my first question is whether or not you already have your marriage license for the state of New York. You will need to apply for that at least 24 hours before you plan to get married. I was married in Niagara Falls, NY so yes, I'm familiar with this part.

On to the next part... to be completely frank, your wife is going to need to find a job and contribute. I'm sure this sounds harsh but unless you want to;

a) pay for everything yourself while being separated OR

b) stay in Canada a while longer...

you don't have much choice.

There are many MANY stories here on the boards of people who have been waiting a very long time to be reunited with their loved ones. They are also not all as fortunate as we are in Canada to be able to visit without needing a visa. With that said though, your wife, when crossing the border, won't be able to prove that she has any ties to Canada. She doesn't work, she doesn't have her own lease... does she have any income or banking or anything at all in her name? I have been driving back and forth across the border for 3.5 years to visit my boyfriend/fiance now-husband. I have been fortunate enough to never be given a hard time but more-often-than-not I was asked what I did for a living and when I had to be back to work. My visits were no more than a few days at a time. Your almost-wife isn't in the same situation.

When you pull up to the border with a truckload of stuff saying you're moving, your almost-wife can't be stating that she's moving. Because she isn't allowed. If it were that simple, none of us would be here jumping through all the hoops we're jumping through.

I was also surprised when I found out how complicated it was going to be. I was shocked when I found out how long the "normal" processing times were as I had no idea until I arrived here on the message boards. Do NOT follow my timeline as an example because we have gone through faster than most as of late. Mine is not the norm.

You already know you're getting married. So get that taken care of and then start building your case for your application. There is a lot of preparation.

I apologize if my wording is harsh in any way but you have some stuff to think through and plan around because what you thought you might be able to do, simply isn't allowed. She must stay in Canada whether with you our without, other than her coming for visits. As Canadians we are often permitted to visit for up to 6 months BUT that also is usually only permitted after being able to prove that we're coming back to Canada. With you getting married, you moving, and her having no ties, that will be very hard to convince the border guard to be true. On the other hand you might just get lucky and they let her in. Either way, your case will almost definitely take longer than the 6 months maximum before to be complete, which means she needs to come back to Canada at some point. Does she have anyone to stay with during this time?

Good luck with whatever you decide. There's a lot of support here on the boards.

[PeaMealBacon 12]

I hate to add to the negative vibe but my first question is whether or not you already have your marriage license for the state of New York. You will need to apply for that at least 24 hours before you plan to get married. I was married in Niagara Falls, NY so yes, I'm familiar with this part.

Sorry you've had such a hard time. I'm not taking your negative vibe though, I don't need that.

Just because you've had a tough time and all of these wonderful people have had a tough time does not mean that a tough time should be the modus operandi, that's a copout and I don't operate that way.

I'm hoping that this all goes well. I'm consulting an attorney in the morning. Thanks for posting.

[Ms Hogan 295]

Sorry you've had such a hard time. I'm not taking your negative vibe though, I don't need that.

Just because you've had a tough time and all of these wonderful people have had a tough time does not mean that a tough time should be the modus operandi, that's a copout and I don't operate that way.

I'm hoping that this all goes well. I'm consulting an attorney in the morning. Thanks for posting.

I haven't had a tough time. I've had an easy time. That's why I said don't look at my timeline as a "normal" example because we flew through the process.

And most people here will also let you know that working with an attorney makes everything take a lot longer, unless you NEED a lawyer and don't have an option when there are special circumstances making it harder for someone to get approved. Lawyers don't have it in their best interest to move things along quickly and stay ahead of the game. They, from what most have experienced and shared here, wind up causing a lot of necessary back and forth which in the end delays your progress. When you read the guides here about getting through the process as quickly as possible, you'll see there are a lot of preparations that can be made ahead of time to stay on top of things. An attorney likely won't do those things.

Again, good luck with everything!

[BaBamSam 239]

Sorry you've had such a hard time. I'm not taking your negative vibe though, I don't need that.

Just because you've had a tough time and all of these wonderful people have had a tough time does not mean that a tough time should be the modus operandi, that's a copout and I don't operate that way.

I'm hoping that this all goes well. I'm consulting an attorney in the morning. Thanks for posting.

Well, this comes off as an extremely ungrateful and arrogant response. Like it or not, you are not more special than anyone else here trying to marry/reunite with their loved ones.

I'm from upstate New York (Buffalo area) and am very familiar with Canadian/American couples getting married. You can come to Buffalo and marry no problem, that is true. You then return to Canada and immediately file for the I-130. As Canada does not offer DCF, you can wait with your spouse as long as possible, but there will be separation. Right now CR-1 visas take about a year to process. You are going to have to plan for this. If she can prove ties to Canada, she could be permitted to visit you for up to 6 months (based on the officer at her POEs judgment).

Unfortunately, this is just the reality of immigration.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I haven't had a tough time. I've had an easy time. That's why I said don't look at my timeline as a "normal" example because we flew through the process.

And most people here will also let you know that working with an attorney makes everything take a lot longer, unless you NEED a lawyer and don't have an option when there are special circumstances making it harder for someone to get approved. Lawyers don't have it in their best interest to move things along quickly and stay ahead of the game. They, from what most have experienced and shared here, wind up causing a lot of necessary back and forth which in the end delays your progress. When you read the guides here about getting through the process as quickly as possible, you'll see there are a lot of preparations that can be made ahead of time to stay on top of things. An attorney likely won't do those things.

Again, good luck with everything!

Same here, after our initial issues, we ended up getting an expedite granted and our whole process will only take a little over 4 months from having the I-130 received until our interview.

I suppose I'd be a bad person to listen to, being one of the first November filers to get a visa though.

Edit: I always forget you Ms. Hogan, who is technically a November filer.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Nola123

[Dallas47 2]

maybe the company that you took the job with will get her a work visa? I filed for Ir1 /Cr1 last june and my wife still is not with me yet and it will likely be another 4 months, all told maybe 13 or 14 months for a lousy visa. good luck

[JensJrny2Ray 367]

Sorry you've had such a hard time. I'm not taking your negative vibe though, I don't need that.

Just because you've had a tough time and all of these wonderful people have had a tough time does not mean that a tough time should be the modus operandi, that's a copout and I don't operate that way.

I'm hoping that this all goes well. I'm consulting an attorney in the morning. Thanks for posting.

I'm sorry if it sounds negative but Ms.Hogan has it spot on. An attorney can give you advice, but frankly your process is going to take a heck of a lot longer with an attorney, and a heck of a lot more money.

The immigration process is time consuming. There is just no way to get around that.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Jim,

where there's a will, there's a way.

Check your PMs.

[PeaMealBacon 12]

Well, this comes off as an extremely ungrateful and arrogant response. Like it or not, you are not more special than anyone else here trying to marry/reunite with their loved ones.

I'm from upstate New York (Buffalo area) and am very familiar with Canadian/American couples getting married. You can come to Buffalo and marry no problem, that is true. You then return to Canada and immediately file for the I-130. As Canada does not offer DCF, you can wait with your spouse as long as possible, but there will be separation. Right now CR-1 visas take about a year to process. You are going to have to plan for this. If she can prove ties to Canada, she could be permitted to visit you for up to 6 months (based on the officer at her POEs judgment).

Unfortunately, this is just the reality of immigration.

It has nothing to do with rudeness, I'm very grateful. I'm certainly not arrogant. But you know what, I'm trying the best with every possible available resource. To me, my situation is the most important, WAY more important than yours. BUT, your situation is WAY more important to you than mine. Understand what I'm saying? That's all!

[Ms Hogan 295]

Same here, after our initial issues, we ended up getting an expedite granted and our whole process will only take a little over 4 months from having the I-130 received until our interview.

I suppose I'd be a bad person to listen to, being one of the first November filers to get a visa though.

Edit: I always forget you Ms. Hogan, who is technically a November filer.

Yep, first of the November group from what I remember. I won't take it personally, though Nola!

I got lucky and busted my a$$ to make sure I didn't miss a beat. I am one of the fortunate few to get through very quickly. Which again, is why I said don't look at my timeline as an example.

Well, this comes off as an extremely ungrateful and arrogant response. Like it or not, you are not more special than anyone else here trying to marry/reunite with their loved ones.

I'm from upstate New York (Buffalo area) and am very familiar with Canadian/American couples getting married. You can come to Buffalo and marry no problem, that is true. You then return to Canada and immediately file for the I-130. As Canada does not offer DCF, you can wait with your spouse as long as possible, but there will be separation. Right now CR-1 visas take about a year to process. You are going to have to plan for this. If she can prove ties to Canada, she could be permitted to visit you for up to 6 months (based on the officer at her POEs judgment).

Unfortunately, this is just the reality of immigration.

Thank you for adding this.

I apologized in advance for what I felt might be a reality dose that would be taken hard. It is what it is. My intent was, of course, to share feedback based on what I've experienced personally and learned from others here.

[Sweetcheeksss 91]

Good luck with everything Jim, I'm of the frame of mind to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Prepare yourselves that she very well may be denied entry by the border guards. Discuss a backup plan for a "what if" situation.

Hope all goes well.

[BaBamSam 239]

It has nothing to do with rudeness, I'm very grateful. I'm certainly not arrogant. But you know what, I'm trying the best with every possible available resource. To me, my situation is the most important, WAY more important than yours. BUT, your situation is WAY more important to you than mine. Understand what I'm saying? That's all!

I don't understand what you're saying because you are no better than anyone else, so the immigration process applies to you as equally as it does to anyone else. MsHogan, myself and many others on here are just trying to inform you of the reality of the time-consuming process that is immigration. We have no motive to make you feel worse or bad about anything - it is just reality.

And, to be honest, I am sorry you feel that you are so much more important. My case is most important to me sure, but not so important that I feel like I should be pushed to the front of the queue and everyone else should wait. It is a process and everyone who applied before me deserves to be processed first. This forum is a community for people to support each other and reward one another for patience. We celebrate when others are finally successful, and we empathize with those of us still waiting.

[Kastrs 723]

Good luck with everything Jim, I'm of the frame of mind to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Prepare yourselves that she very well may be denied entry by the border guards. Discuss a backup plan for a "what if" situation.

Hope all goes well.

Good advice! :thumbs:

[NCChina 21]

My soon-to-be-wife and I are sitting here on the couch both in tears over this moving thing. We've found so many answers to questions that are just a wee bit different than our situation and neither of us know really where to turn. I was suggested to check out the forum after visiting Metafilter in search of this problem's solution.

Long story short:

I moved up to Toronto working for a company in Canada that I've been working for since 2009; I took a bigger gig up here, more money. I've been offered something back in my home land of Dallas, TX that I really want, and the lovely lady of my life and I are going to drive to Buffalo next week to get married to each other. I quit the job in Toronto, and my love and I have been living together in the same apartment with me as the bread winner for 8 months. In our heads, this would be a nothing process, and it's been one on a list of thousands of things to do in order to move.

I make the money, I take care of us financially. She takes care of me with love and her sweetness. I don't know what to do here to start, it seems like our situation bends just slightly differently than all of the others. I don't know what to do, and I don't even really know where to start. We are going to planning on moving at the end of this month, maybe beginning of next, in Buffalo, NY. Just us and her mom and dad.

Should I file the I-130 directly after? Do you think that they'll tell her she can't move with me and our truck full of stuff? What will she do then, she'll have nothing and nowhere.

Please help, we're both really stressing over this. I thank you immensely for your help.

I would love to know what exactly it is that makes your case "slightly different than all of the others." Pretty sure 99% of us here love our spouses and most of us have had to spend significant time away from them. That's just the way the system works, and it's that way for everyone. It sounds to me like you have done very little to prepare for this process. Immigration is a major step, it's not as simple as crossing the border and being in a new country. You did not make the effort to research in advance what would have to be done and now you are planning to move here with her, even though she does not legally have the right to live here on a permanent basis.

Being away from a spouse sucks, but like it or not, you're not any more "special" than the rest of us. The same rules apply to us all and they are long established and actually pretty easy to understand at a basic level, especially if you have done any research on this site. If you really "can't be without her," then your best bet is probably to keep working in Canada until you properly apply for her visa. Sorry if I come off as being blunt (which I am sure I do), but this is a MAJOR life decision and not one you begin to plan for merely a month in advance. I do sincerely wish you all the best and hope everything works out well for you two.

[AmyWrites 593]

Your story is similar to many other couples' stories. You're not any more special. It's already a relatively unfair advantage that Canadians don't need a tourist visa to visit the US, so she could visit throughout the process pretty often if she wanted to. People who married Africans, Asians, etc, have to wait it out. You're lucky. Don't keep pushing it.