How do I send my fiancee back to her country?

[dmartmar 1]

Get rid of her butt asap! Kick her out of the house already!

The longer you let her stay, the angrier you're going to get, moreso when reality starts setting in and you won't take the disrespect any longer.

You're only setting yourself up for your own stupidity.

Edited November 15, 2006 by dmartmar

[meauxna 15]

I know this sounds a bit extreme (I can't even believe I'm suggesting this... it might even be illegal!!) but as a last resort just wait until she leaves the house, pack her bags, change the locks and when she comes home just have a taxi drive her to the airport with a ticket in hand and some cash for food....whatever she does from then on it's up to her.

Yes, that is illegal.

knight_owl, what has she said SHE wants to do?

Her immigration situation is HER problem--don't jeoprodize yourself by trying to 'force' her to leave the US.

That apartment is likely her legal home as well as yours no matter whose name is on the lease. If you get into throwing her out, you may be handing over just the DV evidence she wants.

Proceed with caution.

[PurrSuede 0]

I know this sounds a bit extreme (I can't even believe I'm suggesting this... it might even be illegal!!) but as a last resort just wait until she leaves the house, pack her bags, change the locks and when she comes home just have a taxi drive her to the airport with a ticket in hand and some cash for food....whatever she does from then on it's up to her.

Yes, that is illegal.

knight_owl, what has she said SHE wants to do?

Her immigration situation is HER problem--don't jeoprodize yourself by trying to 'force' her to leave the US.

That apartment is likely her legal home as well as yours no matter whose name is on the lease. If you get into throwing her out, you may be handing over just the DV evidence she wants.

Proceed with caution.

It's a rented apartment. That's why I suggested discussing it with the landlord/apartment managers. They may even have rules against "guests" who aren't on the lease staying there after x-amount of time.

You can't change the locks on a rented apartment either. And I agree. "Throwing her out" could play into a VAWA waiver.

As I've mentioned elsewhere, I closed the garage door with my ex- outside (the back door was OPEN!) and she marched off down the street to a policeman's house and told them "he throws me away from house!".

I found this out when two officers came to my door on a domestic disturbance call because of her actions. They said that even threatening her, such as even SAYING to her "I'm going to throw your @ss out of here once and for all!" could be construed as a violent act, and I could have been charged, had I made such a statement, much less laid a hand on her or attempted to throw her out physically.

Proceed with major caution. Been there, done that, and was going to make damn sure not to wear a "Municipal Jail" t-shirt... or hand her a VAWA waiver.

Again, this is a rented domicile. CHECK WITH THE LANDLORD or PROPERTY MANAGER before you do anything rash... they may actually be able to help you with this, as I am ~sure~ they know the laws in your state for "evicting" unwanted tenants from a leased apartment.

-- Dan

Get rid of her butt asap! Kick her out of the house already!

The longer you let her stay, the angrier you're going to get, moreso when reality starts setting in and you won't take the disrespect any longer.

You're only setting yourself up for your own stupidity.

If you bother to read my previous post... even just making a THREAT to "throw her out" can be construed as an act of violence, dmartmar, according to the local police.

Do you want this guy just to hand her a VAWA waiver, or perhaps we should find a calmer solution to getting her to leave?

Following your advice and he could be indeed "setting himself up for his own stupidity" and he might find himself cooling his heels in a detention cell while she has the keys to the place...

As I mentioned, I got a visit from the local police SIMPLY FOR CLOSING A GARAGE DOOR, all she had to do was CLAIM to them "he throws me away from house!" and they were there on a Domestic Disturbance.

-- Dan

Edited November 15, 2006 by PurrSuede

[Donna A 4]

me personally i would say...honey lets go on vacation to england and then take her and oooops when u come back she cant get past immigration with her k-1 and then u know she wont be coming back. give her a ticket back home and be done with her.

[PurrSuede 0]

me personally i would say...honey lets go on vacation to england and then take her and oooops when u come back she cant get past immigration with her k-1 and then u know she wont be coming back. give her a ticket back home and be done with her.

As a K-1, you know of course, they don't have advance parole... so I'm sure somewhere along the lines the airlines would check her passport/visa and likely advise her that re-entry was not possible... probably before she even boarded...

-- Dan

[meauxna 15]

me personally i would say...honey lets go on vacation to england and then take her and oooops when u come back she cant get past immigration with her k-1 and then u know she wont be coming back. give her a ticket back home and be done with her.

As a K-1, you know of course, they don't have advance parole... so I'm sure somewhere along the lines the airlines would check her passport/visa and likely advise her that re-entry was not possible... probably before she even boarded...

-- Dan

ha ha ha ha! You're joking, right Dan?

CIS wouldn't even tell her; they issue AP even if the person "should not" use it.

No one will ask about her re-entry abilities at departure from the US.

[PurrSuede 0]

me personally i would say...honey lets go on vacation to england and then take her and oooops when u come back she cant get past immigration with her k-1 and then u know she wont be coming back. give her a ticket back home and be done with her.

As a K-1, you know of course, they don't have advance parole... so I'm sure somewhere along the lines the airlines would check her passport/visa and likely advise her that re-entry was not possible... probably before she even boarded...

-- Dan

ha ha ha ha! You're joking, right Dan?

CIS wouldn't even tell her; they issue AP even if the person "should not" use it.

No one will ask about her re-entry abilities at departure from the US.

well hell... too late to go back in time and get rid of my ex- that way??? LOL

-Dan

[Anastassia 0]

donnaal good one

[garya505 2]

me personally i would say...honey lets go on vacation to england and then take her and oooops when u come back she cant get past immigration with her k-1 and then u know she wont be coming back. give her a ticket back home and be done with her.

As a K-1, you know of course, they don't have advance parole... so I'm sure somewhere along the lines the airlines would check her passport/visa and likely advise her that re-entry was not possible... probably before she even boarded...

-- Dan

ha ha ha ha! You're joking, right Dan?

CIS wouldn't even tell her; they issue AP even if the person "should not" use it.

No one will ask about her re-entry abilities at departure from the US.

I think I'd have a difficult time keeping a straight face as we boarded the plane.

[Boiler 44,943]

Mexico would work out just as well, or Canada.

[garya505 2]

So, it would be like, "honey, how would you like to go to Mexico for the weekend and try to work things out?"

[payxibka 10,045]

So, it would be like, "honey, how would you like to go to Mexico for the weekend and try to work things out?"

While this is a novel idea, you need to make sure it is to a country that she does not require a entry visa (such as the Dominican Republic) or to a country where a visa is easily obtainable....

[dmartmar 1]

How can any action play into a VAW Atc if they're not even married yet?

[payxibka 10,045]

How can any action play into a VAW Atc if they're not even married yet?

I can't be sure but I think VAWA stands for Violence Against Women Act not Violence Against Married Women Act.... I should go check though.....

[bly 0]

I was in this exact situation back in 2004. She was here, we weren't married, and it wasn't working out between us.

I told her we couldn't marry and I gave her the choices.

I'll buy you a plain ticket home.

Or you can move out and do everything for your self without my help, you will be an illegal alien, deportable, and on top of all that you will get a 3 or 10 year travel band to the USA once they catch you (assuming they caught her more than 6 months past her visa expire date).

I was very civil to her, I made sure I never touched her in any way that could be perceived as domestic violence. I didn't even tell her she had to be out that day or the next, I would give her a month to find a new place to live before I would take legal actions to have her removed 'legally' (evicted) from my house.

She was a decent person and thought about it for a day. Then she got *really* nice to me for a couple days trying to get me to change my mind, then she finally gave up and asked for the ticket home.

10 days later I took her to the airport and watched her get on a plane goodbye.

The best thing that can happen to you is A, she goes home, or B, she moves in with someone else. At that point you're 100% done with her, the rest is her problem. If she stays in the states but moves out GET IT DOCUMENTED! Pay to have the locks changed, that way she can't produce a key to the door.

Protect yourself... be nice, always be calm and don't lose your cool. Check into your states law about evicting a non relative from your place or residence (in most states you can evict someone even if you don't own the building, you're the one leasing and you have rights.) Google 'evict roommate' and your state. In OHIO I would have had to take on formal eviction proceedings ($100 and 15 days to complete), in NY all you have to do is deliver it in writing 30 days prior to wanting the roommate out. It all depends on your state.

The hardest thing to do is to remember your apt and the things in it are just that, things. They aren't worth getting in trouble for, so worst case be prepared to walk away and live someone else while the eviction moves forward. You can always strike first if you know it's going to be bad. Move everything out while she is gone one day and live with a friend for a month or 2.

I prepared for the worst once I made the decision she had to go... but it really turned out to be an easy thing.

Best of luck..