Am I screwed?

[Mina90 134]

I am freaking out!!! Thank you for your support!

I love my children and my wife. Yes we are having problems but I think that we are going to make it.

I live in Norway. She went ahead of me in Oct to USA. I was there this Christmas for 4w.

What happened:

She misunderstood a email I wrote that I was not going to support her financially (my wording was bad in the email).

She emailed angry "Im going legal and filing for legal separation"

I freaked out, spent 4 days on sick leave, considered divorce, checking all the laws and wrote this email to embassy (desparate people do stupid things).

I wrote the question because I was scared. I wanted to know what would happen if my wife filed for Legal Separation.

Before answer from embassy over the weekend I decided to try to make the marriage work with my wife through counceling etc. It is the best for the children and I realised that I can not live without them and my wife.

I talked to my wife and her threats was empty.. she wrote that to scare me. We comitted to contiune to fight for the marriage.

Then I got the answer from the embassy (no surprices, just short answers).

I will visit US in 3w from now and be there until the interview. The plan is to live with her and to go to marriage counceling and try to improve the marriage.

She refuces to live in Norway so if this craps out then my family is in deep trouble.

Your questions:

I think they can figure out who I am using my email address.

Correct, children USC also.

Not right now, she has been in USA since oct. I was there last Christmas 4w.

I live in Norway

I was scared and stupid, see above.

I am planning counceling with her in April so I can bring documentation of that to interview. I have been in counceling alone since she left. Do not know if that improves my situation.

We have always lived together. In USA and Norway (Ive had a green-card before). I have good career and a clean criminal background.

Thank you for your support!

I'm not your marriage counselor but I'm still going to give some advice. Both you and your wife need to stop over-reacting to every little thing/comment/statement/event. Threatening to file for legal separation just over a simple money issue is not something to be taken lightly (so I agree in part with you about being scared about that)and your wife needs to understand that is childish and can become a serious issue. Just because your wife made some threat to you, if you love her and are confident in her, why would you mope in the house about it on sick leave? A little over-dramatic, don't you think? Yes, you made some poor choices by emailing the embassy, but it doesn't necessarily mean you've spoiled your chances entirely at obtaining a visa, disregarding other reasons why you may not get the visa. However, I fail to understand why your wife would not want to move to Norway if for some reason you did not get the visa. She married you, she had a family with you (3 kids!), hypothetically she loves you, then what's the problem?

To be frank, you both seem to have more serious marital issues than a visa matter. In fact, IF this marriage has started to fall apart and is baseless now from your wife's point of view, I find it harder to believe that you are in the relationship because you love her(especially after you stated that you were curious to know what happens if you guys got legal separation-that type of curiosity is not normal for someone who loves his wife and kids) and it feels more like you are in this marriage for the visa. Also, Nola asked you some VERY valid questions which the embassy could possibly ask you.

If you are genuine in what you say, then you'll be able to overcome this possible obstacle you've created for yourself and be able to prove to the embassy that you both are still in a bonafide marriage. Good Luck.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Mina90

[madtownguy 164]

I'm not your marriage counselor but I'm still going to give some advice. Both you and your wife need to stop over-reacting to every little thing/comment/statement/event. Threatening to file for legal separation just over a simple money issue is not something to be taken lightly (so I agree in part with you about being scared about that)and your wife needs to understand that is childish and can become a serious issue. Just because your wife made some threat to you, if you love her and are confident in her, why would you mope in the house about it on sick leave? A little over-dramatic, don't you think? Yes, you made some poor choices by emailing the embassy, but it doesn't necessarily mean you've spoiled your chances entirely at obtaining a visa, disregarding other reasons why you may not get the visa. However, I fail to understand why your wife would not want to move to Norway if for some reason you did not get the visa. She married you, she had a family with you (3 kids!), hypothetically she loves you, then what's the problem?

To be frank, you both seem to have more serious marital issues than a visa matter. In fact, IF this marriage has started to fall apart and is baseless now from your wife's point of view, I find it harder to believe that you are in the relationship because you love her(especially after you stated that you were curious to know what happens if you guys got legal separation-that type of curiosity is not normal for someone who loves his wife and kids) and it feels more like you are in this marriage for the visa. Also, Nola asked you some VERY valid questions which the embassy could possibly ask you.

If you are genuine in what you say, then you'll be able to overcome this possible obstacle you've created for yourself and be able to prove to the embassy that you both are still in a bonafide marriage. Good Luck.

You've been married for a couple months and you are now a marriage counselor? To the OP I wouldn't worry about it until you need to, immigrations is huge they might not even tie your email to your file. If they do it won't be great but worry about it when you need to. In the future don't ask legal questions to a government, that is just plain dumb sorry. Plenty of lawyers that can address your concerns.

[Mina90 134]

I'm not your marriage counselor but I'm still going to give some advice. Both you and your wife need to stop over-reacting to every little thing/comment/statement/event. Threatening to file for legal separation just over a simple money issue is not something to be taken lightly (so I agree in part with you about being scared about that)and your wife needs to understand that is childish and can become a serious issue. Just because your wife made some threat to you, if you love her and are confident in her, why would you mope in the house about it on sick leave? A little over-dramatic, don't you think? Yes, you made some poor choices by emailing the embassy, but it doesn't necessarily mean you've spoiled your chances entirely at obtaining a visa, disregarding other reasons why you may not get the visa. However, I fail to understand why your wife would not want to move to Norway if for some reason you did not get the visa. She married you, she had a family with you (3 kids!), hypothetically she loves you, then what's the problem?

To be frank, you both seem to have more serious marital issues than a visa matter. In fact, IF this marriage has started to fall apart and is baseless now from your wife's point of view, I find it harder to believe that you are in the relationship because you love her(especially after you stated that you were curious to know what happens if you guys got legal separation-that type of curiosity is not normal for someone who loves his wife and kids) and it feels more like you are in this marriage for the visa. Also, Nola asked you some VERY valid questions which the embassy could possibly ask you.

If you are genuine in what you say, then you'll be able to overcome this possible obstacle you've created for yourself and be able to prove to the embassy that you both are still in a bonafide marriage. Good Luck.

You've been married for a couple months and you are now a marriage counselor? To the OP I wouldn't worry about it until you need to, immigrations is huge they might not even tie your email to your file. If they do it won't be great but worry about it when you need to. In the future don't ask legal questions to a government, that is just plain dumb sorry. Plenty of lawyers that can address your concerns.

So says the person who isn't even filing for CR-1/IR-1. I clearly stated in my first sentence that I'm not acting as his counselor but I will add my tid-bit regarding his situation whether you like it or not (if his intentions are to stay in the relationship for only the visa, that is visa fraud). Next time, read before you think ahead of yourself. Don't just reply for the sake of replying.

Besides, the OP was worried and he himself posted about his personal problems connecting to this visa. Not to mention your statement "In the future don't ask legal questions to a government, that is just plain dumb sorry. Plenty of lawyers that can address your concerns" could apply to anyone on this forum, then what use is this forum if everyone goes rushing to lawyers for every question they have? A lawyer is advised to go on this forum only when it REALLY is a legal matter that only a lawyer can handle.

FYI, this is VisaJourney, the OP is welcome to ask questions regarding his visa as long as it does not violate TOS. I'm glad we cleared that up.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Mina90

[Bayareaguy 156]

She freaks out over one email? Things like this usually don't get better over time.

Dude, I'd get out while you can, if it were me. But you need to assess your own situation.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

You've been married for a couple months and you are now a marriage counselor? To the OP I wouldn't worry about it until you need to, immigrations is huge they might not even tie your email to your file. If they do it won't be great but worry about it when you need to. In the future don't ask legal questions to a government, that is just plain dumb sorry. Plenty of lawyers that can address your concerns.

Stockholm Embassy is small, there aren't a lot of Scando spouses coming over. If you sent them an email, they might very well remember. They know us well.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Of course they are going to see the email. Its an email address he has on file with them. Just because he didnt attach his name or case number to it does not mean anything. If he had generated a new email address to send it from, it wouldnt have been an issue. (meaning he went and created a new hotmail or gmail or yahoo name solely for the purpose of sending that message)

Because it wasnt a terrorism threat or anything like that, the embassy isnt going to spend resources tracking down the IP and matching it up to see where it came from. It wouldve been labeled as a general anon 'potential fraud' question from an unknown address. They most likely would not have invested resources in pinpointing the source.

But it wasnt from an anon source. It was from an email that is on record as being HIS.

When it comes time for his interview the CO is going to prepare. They are going to review his file. That includes everything sent over from USCIS and all correspondence to and from the the embassy including emails. That email is going to be one of them.

You have to keep in mind some people reschedule with the embassy, some people have packets resent, some people get denials and have to send in stuff later. Some people have follow to join for K2s. If you provide them with an email and they tag it to your case, its attached. Anything sent its attached to your case. Its an approved form of correspondence.

Theres nothing anon about it if you send it from an address they have on file.