I need advise- me Fiancee is not who i think she is

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Please i need help, my fiancée brought me to the US and now after selling everything i have back home to come and start a new life with her, she changed, we already got married here in the US, but have not yet filled for the status adjustment, is there an organization I can report this, becos I have nothing to go back to in Nigeria, please somebody, anybody help me with a positive answer

Brother, your Fiancee didn't bring you to the US. You immigrated to the US to be with your Fiancee. There's a huge key difference.

Of course your Fiancee is going to change and you have changed too. It's normal and to be expected, short of outright abuse.

But to directly answer your questions:

1) You can only AOS with the petitioner, nobody else. If that doesn't happen then it's time for Lasgidi.

2) If she has abused you and you have police report and stuff, then you can possibly qualify under VAWA. Search on here for VAWA. And abuse here is not the same as in Nigeria as in it doesn't have to be physical. They have emotional abuse here too.

3) You can always dial 911 if you are in danger just not because your Fiancee has changed.

PS: You're getting a flogging on here because of the way you wrote your question. And I also suspect that because you're a Nigerian. There's going to be lot's of opinion. Sift through them to get the useful ones.

PPS: I wonder if ConOffs read this stuff.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I find it ridiculous that fraud is once again brought up by some posters without knowing the facts. Why, because the

OP is Nigerian and not European ?

As if American women are perfect and incapable to act stupid towards their men they petitioned here. Give me a break !

To the OP : You didn't give us enough details so there is not much advice we can give excpet that without a certain level of

abuse you can not adjust status without her. To determine the level, if any, you have to give us the details. If she was abusive then you must be able to proof it. There is no organization that can help you to remain here.

Ultimately we all have to be accountable for our choices and decisions in life and be responsible to handle any change that may come, be it for the best or worst.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

OP...it has been barely 3 months since you were approved, what exactly happened ? That was a very short honeymoon.

Hope you both will work it out. Perhaps someone with cultural understanding can mediate whatever the problem is.

Best wishes ~

[Fiance Journey 1]

Unfortunately, if you don't come here on an IR-1 and the marriage "fails" before you are a resident, then you must return to your home country. Its just the way it works and part of marrying someone outside your country.

Unless its an abusive situation, you'll need to either 1. make it work (culture shock could be all thats going on with her) or 2. divorce and return to your home country and continue where you left off there..and im sure you have friends and family to help you through it if you chose that route. After the tough times, you'll be ok and this would be a building block/experience you gained in life....as awful as it may feel right now.

[WaitingStill 24]

James

Not enough information. No one can really give you any advice with what you've posted. There are too many possibilities.

I guess the first question is, if your wife is not who you thought she was, then who is she? Did she lie to you before you came? Did she trick you into giving her money or property? Or did she just change her mind about being married to you? Why don't you start by telling us what facts exactly lead you to say she is not who you thought she was. That would be a start. I'm sure everyone here would like to help you.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Please i need help, my fiancée brought me to the US and now after selling everything i have back home to come and start a new life with her, she changed, we already got married here in the US, but have not yet filled for the status adjustment, is there an organization I can report this, becos I have nothing to go back to in Nigeria, please somebody, anybody help me with a positive answer

"She changed" happens. You have no recourse to stay based on the information provided in your OP.

If you will not be filing for AOS (which you can't, based on your situation, without her assistance), you must leave the US as your marriage does not protect your status. Once your I-94 expired/s you are accumulating out-of-status days. This will make it difficult for you to ever visit the US again.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Vanessa&Tony

[Clint86 2]

If I were you I would file for divorce and let Immigrations know you want to be deported back to your country. There is legal deportation clauses that allow immigrants to expire their own visas or applications. The sooner you do it the sooner you can get back home and consider this a big lesson and start over. You will be fine, keep your head up. )

[Unuigboje7 15]

If I were you I would file for divorce and let Immigrations know you want to be deported back to your country. There is legal deportation clauses that allow immigrants to expire their own visas or applications. The sooner you do it the sooner you can get back home and consider this a big lesson and start over. You will be fine, keep your head up. )

Good advice, but hopefully it's not so severe to come to that.

[Krikit 1,165]

All posts violating the TOS and/or not pertaining to the OP's topic have been removed. Please create your own thread instead of derailing this one. Any further such posts will be removed and the poster thread-banned. Thank you.

[fantonledzepp 159]

I can guarantee that if my wife and I were to split, the first thing she would do is fly back to Ecuador. She has her entire family there, and they would help her in anyway that they could.

Why can't you do that?

PS. People change, deal with it accordingly and move on.

[Krikit 1,165]

One member thread-banned and post removed for failing to heed the warning.

[dwheels76 5,469]

Unfortunately I have seen this too often with women especially I know who filed K1 and once the man got here that AOS was used like a banner of bribes and "you better act right or I won't file" or "I will send you back ". I have seen women wait more than a year to file. Poor guy sitting here no job, money totally at her mercy.

OP I know things change and they say it is really a good year to adjust to living here.

Do you have a church you attend where you can maybe seek marriage counseling?

Call a non-profit agency and see if they can direct you?

Talk to your wife? I mean really sit down. Maybe its a financial thing and you or her can't afford the $1070.

Are you helping financially?

All I can say is pray, seek Godly wisdom and talk to your wife. Abeg.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Unfortunately I have seen this too often with women especially I know who filed K1 and once the man got here that AOS was used like a banner of bribes and "you better act right or I won't file" or "I will send you back ". I have seen women wait more than a year to file. Poor guy sitting here no job, money totally at her mercy.

OP I know things change and they say it is really a good year to adjust to living here.

Do you have a church you attend where you can maybe seek marriage counseling?

Call a non-profit agency and see if they can direct you?

Talk to your wife? I mean really sit down. Maybe its a financial thing and you or her can't afford the $1070.

Are you helping financially?

All I can say is pray, seek Godly wisdom and talk to your wife. Abeg.

Well said.

[Aidee Alcantar 5]

If there is no mental, emotional and physical abuse it won't get considered. Try yo work it out, if there is hope. Sometimes these process procedures can be stressful and sometimes they can cause us to have bad days. Talk it out and hopefully you guys can work it out !

[biaobiao 40]

maybe it is just culture shock. try to give it some time to be with your wife. things will not change overnight. it will be work in progress..

OP just don't give up easily. the main reason you migrated to US was to be with your wife.