Divorce Settlement

[Brian1967## 119]

Hey folks..it is me again, and I need some advice from just about anybody if possible maybe a few of you might have been though this before.

My soon to be ex...filed for divorce in December, I have done everything I can to restore my marriage, there have been false alligations of abuse and she moved out of the marital home in late November and came by the house with a empty change of address envelope and left it attached to the Christmas wreath on my door ( I guess this was her way of saying *&^% $#@..Merry Christmas).

Anyway after talking with my lawyer this is the thought process, we were only married for a year.

There is no joint property to fight over (all cars and house were purchased and titled and house is deeded in my name only)

There are no joint bank accounts or money to fight over

there are no co-mingled assets

no children born of the marriage

she has her daughter and I have my son and I did not adopt her daughter nor her my son

Even the furniture for the house was bought before she arrived

She has one of the cars I have paid off that is titled in my name and I have proof I made all payments and proof that car was bought ten months before she arrived in country.

All of this is considered separate property and not up for debate in the divorce as I saved all proofs or purchase before she arrived

there are gifts I have given her but I did not want them back and there is no need to ask.

My attorney and I get a call from her attorney (he is pro bono) and he stated that she wants to extend the divorce as long as possible.

What would be the point of this? can some one help there is only 5 months to mail in paperwork to have conditions lifted (November 2013 would be our 2nd aniversery)

I know she can go in front of judge and get extension for maybe 90 or 120 days but will still have to get divorce finalized.

I do not understand this, SHE filed for divorce and I am willing to sign papers and she can give my car back her lawyer even asked if she could buy the car from me for cash or some payments.

When she first left I tried very hard to get her back and in January after she told her lawyer that she is aware she can sue me in federal court for I864 I quit giving her any money, sorry I do not give into blackmail.

Can someone tell me what the immigration advantage here would be? if so why? it seems I would want to HURRY and finialize things so I could do paperwork and move on or get remarried or do what ever.

Any ideas?

[bigdog 376]

You and your attorney do whats best for you, get divorced and get it final. If you did not file for AOS, their is a problem on her side not yours. See an immigration attorney for obligation issues, big difference between i134 and I864. Sorry don't really know where you are at in the immigration process?

[awesome87 0]

You should file for..withdrawal for I-864 so atleast you have a proof that because of all this situation happened, she left me and abandon me for her own benefit...this is simply an immigration fraud..

[Brian1967## 119]

cannot withdraw i864 she has green card, can you think why someone would delay a divorce she asked for and what if any advantage this would do for immigration. Thanks

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

cannot withdraw i864 she has green card, can you think why someone would delay a divorce she asked for and what if any advantage this would do for immigration. Thanks

Perhaps a delay gets you to pay her bills longer.

Perhaps she thinks a longer marriage will look better as a "married in good faith" thing. BTW your two year wedding anniversary is not the date for GC removing conditions. It is two years from the date her greencard was issued. People can apply 90 days before that date. She can file on her own with waiver without you either by proving she entered the marriage in good faith with co-mingle lives and finances or by proving abuse from you. She needs to be divorced to file on her own. The application would require your signature if filing as still married or a divorce decree if going it on her own. It gets to be tricky if her greencard expiration is near and she doesn't have a final divorce decree.

[Caryh 5,206]

More than likely she is under a misconception that the conditional green card means she must stay married for two years.

[Bayareaguy 156]

Well, it doesn't sound like you are in this situation, but for me, my wife extending out the divorce gave her more tax free support.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

cannot withdraw i864 she has green card, can you think why someone would delay a divorce she asked for and what if any advantage this would do for immigration. Thanks

As others said, it could be she thinks she needs to stay married for 2 years to get her 10 year GC.

More likely she wants you to keep paying her bills, including health insurance (as that's usually what happens during the divorce) and she wants you to suffer.

Anything you accumulate during the marriage she can "go for". So you can't buy a new car, or a house, or get any large bonuses or she can try and claim that she should get a portion of all that.

Personally I would write a letter to USCIS and let them know that she filed for divorce on X date, she moved out of the marital home on X date (of her own accord) and that you are currently in divorce proceedings which you have been advised she wants to draw out. Just to keep them in the loop. Once the divorce is final send them a copy of the decree with any of her information.

[Brian1967## 119]

Thanks....

[Villanelle 4,122]

Well it might not all be immigration based.

Re immigration- she needs to file to remove conditions either in the 90 day window prior to her card expiring or when she gets the divorce decree.

Since you dont have a timeline, but your saying the 90 day window for her to file ROC will be in 5 months. Im just going to assume you calculated it correctly.

Obviously youre not filing jointly so the window doesnt really apply- I mean it does but it doesnt. She may be confused and under the impression she needs to file in the window because thats her date and not realize when shes divorced she can file early.

She may be thinking the longer youre married, the better it will look for her ROC. Because when she fills out her ROC form she will fill out date married and date divorced. But they will see the divorce papers in full and it will show the date of separation, I mean its going to show, couple separated on X date, divorce is final on Y date.

So it will be quite clear that the marriage only lasted from Nov 11 until she moved out in Dec the following year and not until the divorce was final.

It could just be that this is not immigration based at all, and this is out of spite. The longer you are married the longer you can not move on. The longer this is hanging over your head.

She has a pro-bono attorney. You do not. That means every phone call, every letter, you PAY for. She does not. Every item she disputes or every time an issue comes up, it costs you money. Im sure your attorney is billing you for every stamp on every letter you get. Hers is not.

It seems like your exwife is a very angry person. She seems quite determined to make this divorce painful for you and expensive. Im not sure if something happened in the marriage that she feels you are deserving of this or if this is just her personality.

Sorry if this is a little bit rambled.

Possible reasons.

1. Shes confused about her ROC date and thinks she has to file in the window. You can try to remedy it by advising her through the attorney that she can lift conditions immediately with the divorce decree. This can save you money by getting the divorce done quickly.

2. Shes bitter and angry for whatever reason and is trying to bankrupt you by dragging this out (its not costing her anything because her attorney is free). Theres nothing you can do in this case except ask for a discount or ask if paralegals can assist with your case- sometimes they do that. Instead of the attorney handling the calls and mail, they can let paralegals do it and charge less.

3. Again, bitter and angry and is trying to stop you from moving forward socially by keeping you 'married' with this hanging over your head. Thats just something you'll have to deal with in your own way.

4. Minor potential financial gain if you were to increase your assets- depending on your state laws- as Vanessa explained, if you are providing health insurance of obtained additional assets she could make a claim to them. But more importantly, the longer it drags on, the longer you remain frozen financially. Which if shes bitter thats a +++.

(I honestly hope that you get this resolved soon. I went through a very stressful divorce and I sympathize greatly with you. My situation was very different but similar. I had the pro-bono attorney so it didnt bankrupt me, but it did drag on for 5 years because my spouse would not let it go. So I get how it feels to be frozen by someone who is angry and bitter when you did nothing wrong and you dont understand why they wont let go and move on and it seems they want so badly nothing more then to make you miserable)

[Herp Derp 3]

You should do what is best for your kid and you. I suggest staying away from her at all times just in case she tries to bring an domestic abuse case against you. It can get pretty tough but I suggest you keep a level head. If she wants to extend the divorce, let her, it is only going to hurt her. I would not tell her a thing. You need to care and look after your kid as the first priority.

Good luck.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

My Ex filed for divorce as a bluff and to make me change my position.

I went into high gear and tried to complete the divorce as fast as humanly possible.

She then begged and then after I refused she did all she could do to delay it but her plan didn't work.

So only you may know why shes delaying but Man, git her done as quickly as you can.