please help desperate

[DC85 113]

This girl wants a relationship with anyone who is willing to help her get a GC or citizenship. You're being used. Move on.

I agree. the most important you have to do now is to go out and find a date lol. she needs somebody to use him as a bridge for immigration benefits. don't even think twice the she might love you, she doesn't, ok.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/417318-please-help-desperate/page__p__6015034#entry6015034

[pleo 2]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/417318-please-help-desperate/page__p__6015034#entry6015034

yes i posted that also, still talking about same person.

i was hoping for more empathetic responses and not just one liners. i reall am in love with her

[SamanthaL 45]

yes i posted that also, still talking about same person.

i was hoping for more empathetic responses and not just one liners. i reall am in love with her

You may be in love with her but by what you've described it doesn't seem she feels the same way about you. You are setting yourself up for heart break.

[MedRoni 161]

yes i posted that also, still talking about same person.

i was hoping for more empathetic responses and not just one liners. i reall am in love with her

Do you want empathy? Or the truth.

The bottom line is people here are correct. You are being used. This person will marry anyone that will allow it. If she really loved you she would never consider what she is planning. Never.

Just tell her you are walking away and do not call when she gets a green card as you will no longer be interested. You can blame it on the fact of what she is doing is illegal if you need to.

Either way you asked the opinion here... twice. You will most likely continue to get the same answers.

[Boiler 45,544]

Run!

Do not walk.

Edited to make it 2 lines.

Edited March 9, 2013 by Boiler

[pleo 2]

Do you want empathy? Or the truth.

The bottom line is people here are correct. You are being used. This person will marry anyone that will allow it. If she really loved you she would never consider what she is planning. Never.

Just tell her you are walking away and do not call when she gets a green card as you will no longer be interested. You can blame it on the fact of what she is doing is illegal if you need to.

Either way you asked the opinion here... twice. You will most likely continue to get the same answers.

should i report her or let her hang herself?

[MedRoni 161]

should i report her or let her hang herself?

Only you can make that decision. Do what you can live with... comfortably.

Do what is best for you. The time has come to focus on you and what you need.

[Boiler 45,544]

A VJ classic!

[Boiler 45,544]

What evidence do you have?

[dmck 80]

OP - just to put some perspective around this. First, if she was truly in love with you, the time to wait for your divorce and file and wait (like what seems like an eternity) is inconsequential compared to being together and in love for the rest of your life. The fact that she even stated, I will marry someone else to get the GC, is an admission that she is using you. If the love from her to you was real, this would not be an option or discussion at all. For fun, let's just assume that there is some real need to get her here now. She would marry someone else (either K1 or CR1) so that is about 1 year till she arrives in the states. She then has to essentially live with this person for 2-3 years before she can remove conditions. In that time, she and her "other" husband have to convince the US Gov that they are really in love. Of course, she could attempt to claim some other non-sense and remove conditions claiming that she entered into the marriage with good faith, blah blah blah. This is a whole lot of actions and consequences that have to occur precisely so she could then be with you. Based on your story, I can only conclude that this is a scam, and yes it feels real to you, but I am sure deep down you know that something is not quite right.

[dmck 80]

Ahh, I read your post from before, there is no way you can marry this person when you get divorced anyways. You are both legally male (it does not matter that she had the operation, the USCIS will not accept this). While the supreme court is considering the validity of Prop8 from California and other similar laws, it is not likely that the right to marry same gender will be available to you for probably 2 years minimum. If they overturn CA Prop8 and the other similar bans, AND determine that gay marriage is legal, then you can bring her in. Otherwise, she has to get a court to declare her a female. And then, wow, that would certainly be an interesting case to the USCIS. I'm sure your processing time would be very lengthy as they internally argue about her gender

The only way she is going to get into the US is to marry a woman. At least for now

[Ontarkie 14,231]

~~~~Thread merged, please do not start another thread for the same/similar topic.~~~~

[mamaSue 38]

should i report her or let her hang herself?

The only good thing about reporting her would be that you might save another person a lot of heartache.....

But.....in the end, do what you think is best for yourself.....

I agree with the others, she's looking for a legal way to stay in the US.....she's not looking for a nice guy to marry!!

Save yourself the heartache detach yourself from this person very fast!

[pleo 2]

OP - just to put some perspective around this. First, if she was truly in love with you, the time to wait for your divorce and file and wait (like what seems like an eternity) is inconsequential compared to being together and in love for the rest of your life. The fact that she even stated, I will marry someone else to get the GC, is an admission that she is using you. If the love from her to you was real, this would not be an option or discussion at all. For fun, let's just assume that there is some real need to get her here now. She would marry someone else (either K1 or CR1) so that is about 1 year till she arrives in the states. She then has to essentially live with this person for 2-3 years before she can remove conditions. In that time, she and her "other" husband have to convince the US Gov that they are really in love. Of course, she could attempt to claim some other non-sense and remove conditions claiming that she entered into the marriage with good faith, blah blah blah. This is a whole lot of actions and consequences that have to occur precisely so she could then be with you. Based on your story, I can only conclude that this is a scam, and yes it feels real to you, but I am sure deep down you know that something is not quite right.

To clarify, she currently lives in the U.S.

Ahh, I read your post from before, there is no way you can marry this person when you get divorced anyways. You are both legally male (it does not matter that she had the operation, the USCIS will not accept this). While the supreme court is considering the validity of Prop8 from California and other similar laws, it is not likely that the right to marry same gender will be available to you for probably 2 years minimum. If they overturn CA Prop8 and the other similar bans, AND determine that gay marriage is legal, then you can bring her in. Otherwise, she has to get a court to declare her a female. And then, wow, that would certainly be an interesting case to the USCIS. I'm sure your processing time would be very lengthy as they internally argue about her gender

The only way she is going to get into the US is to marry a woman. At least for now

This is a non issue. she can legally change her gender marker and she has

The only good thing about reporting her would be that you might save another person a lot of heartache.....

But.....in the end, do what you think is best for yourself.....

I agree with the others, she's looking for a legal way to stay in the US.....she's not looking for a nice guy to marry!!

Save yourself the heartache detach yourself from this person very fast!

As difficult as it was, i did end the relationship last night.