Marriage and GC problems

[Labirint 0]

You have been given a lot of great advice of how to proceed earlier. You can't 'lock yourself up' in your house for fear of venturing out to the courthouse to get married.

Please go get married, apply for AOS and continue on from there. Great news your fiance has received a job offer!

Thank you. I think you all guys are right. I have just talked to my fiance and we've decided go get marriage license next week.

[Done--Really 331]

Hey Lost...

Simialr but different story...we were very poor and when my parents got divorced, one brother lived with my mother, one with my father, and I was the lucky one--I got my grandparents. University of Michigan on scholarship, and here we are many years later just trying to pay back by helping all we can.

[Labirint 0]

Do NOT wait to get married. If you are married and run into ICE they will give you the chance to AOS as the spouse of a USC. If you are NOT married they will deport you. Quickie court wedding should not put you in danger because regular police/sheriff's etc aren't allowed to ask about your status. So go to the court house with your passport as ID and whatever else you need (that you find out by calling, not from their website) and get married.

(F) That's what we're going to do. Thank you for helping us with good advises.

[Boggy1974 124]

You are on the road, and while there may be a few speedbumps, the journey will be great in the end--just watch out for those who have strong opinions not backed up by facts--stick to the rules only and you will be smiling--a lot !!

I agree with all the advice you've given -- they're sound, based on experience & a working knowledge of processes and regulations!

But the bolded to me is creme de la creme of it all. OP, hope you're listening! Best of luck!

[Done--Really 331]

Send pictures...seriously !! We all feel like part of your family at this point.

[LanaMay 5]

To AnotherLostSoul

Wow! You should brag about it and be proud of how great you and your family is.That is amazing story of survival and perseverance.It puts most of us to shame.Seriously!

Edited February 25, 2013 by LanaMay

[Labirint 0]

@Magical: I have to agree with you by far. I was 12 when my dad died, and then 16 when my Mom died. We were poor, my Mom was doing occasional house cleaning to make sure me and my siblings have food on the table, and we lived in a small apartment, all siblings in one room (regardless of gender- my Mom just didn't tell the office people so they don't make a fuss). When Mom died, we realized that even though we're still young, we have to survive somehow. My brother was already 18 so he was our guardian, with of course, no savings account. So, we realized things are going to turn pretty bad, and us, kids, will have to go to foster home if he cannot support us. So, guess what? Like you said, we started from the bottom. We moved, and begged friends to stay separately it their place for a couple months until we can save up some money to live together again with being able to rent an apartment. And as you said, I did house cleaning in the evenings after school, I did baby sitting at the weekends. I would see some small job options, and same with my other siblings, and my brother too. He became a mail man, so that he can get a bit more payment as he did not have to go to school anymore. We, from all these small jobs, made it in a way that we moved in all together into a one bedroom apartment. Yes, slept on the carpet (thank god they have carpets in the apartments!!!) because we just didn't have the money to buy 4 air mattress. We went to the thrift store, we bought our blankets there, one under ourselves (to serve as a mattress) and one above us (for cover). We did tons of dumpster diving, fished out most of our kitchen utensils, pots, and even some furniture. We never did any illegal job, so people here who read this don't freak out saying that I'm supporting illegal work. No, I don't. And we did not do it either. We collected plastic bottles from the dumpsters, and with a shopping cart pushed them all home, and took them back to get money. Like you say, Magical, when someone is desperate, they can achieve great things. Yes, we never lived in a beautiful apartment, with separate rooms, but we made it! And, when I turned 19 my brother has died also (osteosarcoma- before anyone thinks something bad, like drugs as no, none of us ever did anything like that!). Anyway, long story short, we had on less person in our family, yet, that meant we had to work even harder. But we never gave up! Ever! And I wanted to go to college, and was able to win a good scholarship to cover my tuition. There was one criteria: GPA had to be maintained to 3.8 or above otherwise I would lose the scholarship. I worked hard next to school, and studied my butt off, but maintained a 4.0 GPA all four years (I hope at least, I have one more quarter to go), and hence I applied to PhD (skipping Master's program, hoping to having to pay less money for less periods of time) and guess what? I've got accepted to PhD with full scholarship again, tuition and health insurance paid! And I will start in Fall, but also have already applied for a paid internship in South San Fransisco at Onyx Pharmaceuticals...and the meantime, I'm completing my studies to get my degree, and working. My siblings are also working, and one of them just got a full scholarship opportunity for Master's from Fall (she's my twin- I'm a twin) and my younger sister is just going to start undergrad this next Fall. Now, I'm writing all these down, not to brag, or boast and show everyone "how great" I am, but to show, that yes, you can do it if you want to! It sucks major, and you have to start from the shittiest job. Don't think any of us enjoyed going to other people's houses to clean their house, their toilet, or mow the freaking lawn when its 110F outside over summer, or fixing sprinklers, or blowing leaves. They suck! And going through the dumpsters in the dark at night, all that smell of rotting foods and all that. None of them are fun at all! But you've gotta do what you've gotta do, and you have to start somewhere. I have a hard time believing that the boyfriend could not get any type of jobs for three whole years. If we were like that, we would've ended up in foster home, then get kicked out at age 18 and then become drug dealers, or rob into people's car, or even mug people. We all have a choice of how we want to go and carry on with our lives. Our brother loved us, we loved him, and we decided to stick together and help each other. It was out of the question what "we wanted to do"...it was the question "what we MUST do to survive in this world". And we did it (so far. LOL) So, I agree with you Miracle, there's no such a thing as no job. Just have to seek it instead of waiting for it to knock on your door (if you have a door).

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, folks. Just couldn't hold it back reading all these...All the best everyone (including the OP)!

AnotherLostSoul, thank you for your story. It's sad but the same time it's very inspiring. And I am very happy that you found the way to work things out and made good choices in life. "What doesn't kill us make us stronger" ©. You are very brave and strong person and I admire you and wish you the best.

I understand that our situation looks like nothing comparing to what you've gone through. But it's "a little bit" more complicated than you might think. I just didn't put in the story all details about my life. It's unneeded.

I explained the job situation above. Besides, in our town (with 2 & a half people living in it) they hire primarily high school kids or retired people for part time jobs. We are not at those age categories... or just SOL. There is two grocery stores around here, one retirement home, few restaurants/fast food places and hand full of gas stations. That's it. This is how big our "megalopolis" is and "how wide our opportunities" are. : ))

But we don't give up. Trying to find ways to pay our bills and not ask for any social help. Things happen... you know. All we can do is to work through them and strive for the best life.

I didn't have intentions to complain about life. If it looks that way, than I apologize. I did not mean it.

[Labirint 0]

I agree with all the advice you've given -- they're sound, based on experience & a working knowledge of processes and regulations!

But the bolded to me is creme de la creme of it all. OP, hope you're listening! Best of luck!

Of course I am listening... and "filtering" all information here. For the past years I've read a lot of legal info on my subject. But some things people told me here on visajourney.com I didn't know about. I am so glad I've found this forum. I've got so many great advises and such a priceless moral support. There are not enough words to explain how much I appreciate your help. God bless you all, guys! (F)

[Labirint 0]

Send pictures...seriously !! We all feel like part of your family at this point.

:) magical, I never post my pics on any open internet-source. I'd prefer to keep it anonymously. Especially in my current situation. I hope you're OK with that.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

AnotherLostSoul, thank you for your story. It's sad but the same time it's very inspiring. And I am very happy that you found the way to work things out and made good choices in life. "What doesn't kill us make us stronger" ©. You are very brave and strong person and I admire you and wish you the best.

I understand that our situation looks like nothing comparing to what you've gone through. But it's "a little bit" more complicated than you might think. I just didn't put in the story all details about my life. It's unneeded.

I explained the job situation above. Besides, in our town (with 2 & a half people living in it) they hire primarily high school kids or retired people for part time jobs. We are not at those age categories... or just SOL. There is two grocery stores around here, one retirement home, few restaurants/fast food places and hand full of gas stations. That's it. This is how big our "megalopolis" is and "how wide our opportunities" are. : ))

But we don't give up. Trying to find ways to pay our bills and not ask for any social help. Things happen... you know. All we can do is to work through them and strive for the best life.

I didn't have intentions to complain about life. If it looks that way, than I apologize. I did not mean it.

@Labirinti: Naw, don't worry, I was not insulted at all. I just felt the need to share as it seemed that people tend to be a bit more overreacting about no jobs, and I admit, I have no rights, but did "judge" you to that category. I apologize for that, like I said, I really have no rights to do that so. In terms of the area you live in, made me smile. This is the same where I live. We have at least 4 elementary schools, 2 junior high schools and 1 high school. The population here is same as yours, either spoiled brats going to secondary school and mommy and daddy taking them to school by car (!!!) while they could easily walk to school, or bike to school as it is safe here, it's a small town, or we have the old folks who either commute to work somewhere else, or are retired already. And like you say, my age group is either going to college, or simply screwed. There are some restaurants here, and three grocery stores, and that's it. No Walmart, no Costco, no Kmart, or anything like that. So yeah, hence we were so broke as well and doing lots of dumpster diving! By the way, that has a good side too: rich people put their furniture out, you take it, and you re-sell it. LOL That was a total free money for us! LOL Again, please don't worry, I was not insulted at all. Like as you say "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", I am way too tough now, and I shake off every insult that people try to shove at me! I'm not saying you did that! This is just what I do generally. Good luck to you, and don't worry, things will work out for you! Just never give up! Fight!