Marriage and GC problems

[SAT 9,609]

Well, this depends on the county. The county is within their rights to require an SSN if the individual has one.

yes, agreed. So if one county insist on SSNs, then go to another county. But you will be able to get married somewhere without any SSNs.

[LanaMay 5]

LanaMay--you are here on an H-1(b) visa which suggests you are better educated than many and probably have a good job to boot.

I grew up in one of those little Midwestern towns--4000 people--and the unemployment rate is about 50% except during tourist season when everyone has a job, but that is just June - August, and again at deer hunting season in November. The rest of the time it is unemployment checks, food stamps, Medicaid, and a lot of help from the churches. So, yes, moving is probably the best option unless there are family reasons to stay, but implying that the boyfreind is a mooch--probably part of the 47%--is out of order.

I am really not implying boyfriend is a mooch.OP's story does not suggest he gets financial benefit out her or anybody else.I just urge to act,to go out of comfort zone,to not expect illusive help from anyone.Hope of any real financial aid from anyone other than boyfriend seems unlikely to me.

And since current situation is clearly not working for them change is the only way and he is the only one that can bring it.

Trust me I know what small midwestern town is.Back in 2002 I used to work on a farm in Clyde,OH population about 6000.Me and my masters degree had a lot of "fun")))

I am horticulturist and grower in a greenhouse, not the most glamorous job.

Edited February 24, 2013 by LanaMay

[Done--Really 331]

LanaMay, you are absolutely right about them getting out of their comfort zone...really critical for all of us in all parts of our lives if we really want to advance. Well said !!

Horticulturist may not seem glamorous, but your plants give real joy to real people and that makes it glamorous in my book !!

Edited February 24, 2013 by magical

[allyinchicago 8]

just get married, don't leave the country until you get married. this is the problem i'm facing now my bf at the time overstayed and then left. please don't make the same mistake!!

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

So, yes, moving is probably the best option unless there are family reasons to stay

Family reasons will not feed them and will not give a job, so IF the problem is really in place of living, them moving is the only option. But to relocate to another city or state they also need some money. It's not only renting a truck for moving, but also finding some place to live in the new city, paying deposit to landlord and paying rent and bilss untill OP's fiance will get his first paycheks. As I understand, they don't have any savings they could invest in relocating. So it's a good advice, but I don't understand where they would take money for relocating if OP wrote that they don't have a jobs, savings, and her fiance even can't get a loan because of bad credit history.

In my opinion, getting married and even applying for AOS (if they will find over $1000 for fee and somebody will sign affidavit) will not solve any problems. Original poster says "I want to find a job, support him, save some money and move to another city or state...", but I don't understand why she thinks that if her fiance, US citizen, can't find ANY job for a 3 (three!) years in that town and if problem not in him, why Labirint thinks that after getting greencard she will be able to find a job and even save enough money for relocating? Isn't it unrealistic? I do not believe that in town where citizens can't find any job for years and desperate for any income, employers will be willing to hire alien who just got a greencard and has zero local references and local work experience. Unless, of course, problem with employment not in the place of living...

- Victor from Russia

[Done--Really 331]

There are millions of people working without papers, so that isn't as hard as you may think. Are the jobs glamourous--of course not--but they are a begining.

Hospitality

Food processing

Restaurants

Farming

Day labor

Construction

Lawn care

Nanny

Heck, in this area nanny's make $40K - $50K per year if they work full time and live in and I can tell you that most have no papers, and I can also tell you that most file their taxes, pay SS which they will never receive under current laws, and except for their lack of papers, are perfect citizens.

Ditto for day laborers. I see the same 20 or so men at a certain corner seven days a week hoping for work for the day. By 10:00 or so they are all gone--to jobs, not back home--and they make about $100 per day. Sure beats working at MacDonalds even if they could. And a couple of those day laborers who I know have graduated to running car services, netting over $50K per year. And one other has a landscaping and snow plowing business where he now employs a dozen or so men without papers, netting for himself over $100K, while providing good paying jobs for his guys.

Now to be sure, NJ looks the other way more than most states when it comes to folks with no papers (with the exception of a couple of counties where they are real hard a$$es), and it costs a lot to live here, but the point is that the opportunity of a lifetime comes around every day...we just have to be menatally prepared to grab it.

[StephAnn2012 50]

Like I've said twice now - I am glad to be wrong and I am glad this couple is getting so much attention - I'm smiling as I read how wrong my advice has been. Thanks to those of you who corrected my comments. I wish you both well...

[Done--Really 331]

Hey Steph...sometimes being wrong is the best part...particularly when we can poke fun at ourselves !!

Glad you are here !!

Edited February 24, 2013 by magical

[Lucas&Lucas 4]

Thank you very much for your quick response.

I'm wondering if they reject out application for marriage license, is there some law about having right to get married without SSN? We want to go on Monday or Tuesday and take our chances in appling for marriage license. God help us!

About AOS... We figured we could ask our relatives to help us out and become a sponsor. If not, we'll try to find other ways. I am still trying to stay positive.

YOU CAN GET MARRIED IN DENVER, COLORADO WITHOUT SSN, THERE IS A FORM WHERE YOU FILL THE AFFIDAVIT SAYING YOU DON'T HAVE SSN...

I GOT MARRIED THERE AND I DON'T HAVE SSN CARD AND NUMBER !!!

[StephAnn2012 50]

Thanks Magical -- We are glad to be here and come online every day to see if we are still on the same bus as yesterday.

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

There are millions of people working without papers, so that isn't as hard as you may think. Are the jobs glamourous--of course not--but they are a begining.

Hospitality

Food processing

Restaurants

Farming

Day labor

Construction

Lawn care

Nanny

If it isn't as hard, why OP's fiance is unemployed for the whole 3 years? Why he still doesn't work on a farm or doesn't mow lawns? You just wrote few posts ago about towns where half of the population, US citizens, lives on food stamps and church's help because it's literally no jobs there, and now you wrote that it's not hard to find a job even with no papers. No offence, I just don't understand this contradiction. My point is that her husband, being a citizen with US job references and experience has much more chances to find a job. And if he can't do it for 3 years and problem not in him personally, how would OP find a good enough job to not only live on, but also save money for relocating?

- Victor from Russia

Edited February 24, 2013 by Amy_and_Victor

[scott76 22]

Where are you in Missouri? I worked in Warrensburg under the table with no papers. I was a USC, but they never asked me for anything when I worked there. And when I wanted to get paid, they just wrote me a check. That was a long time ago but it might still be the same way. It was a chinese place. Almost all chinese restaurants pay under the table.

[Done--Really 331]

Hey Victor--this isn't an debating contest--this is the real world with real problems and real solutions.

we don't know their personal situation, but if they are in an area like my home town, they are screwed...period. But if they relocate to a better area, they can find work if they are willing to start at the bottom rung and work their way up...no contradiction in that.

yes, I know a lot of people here in NJ with no papers, and yes, I have helped in many ways over the last ten yeas or so when I first moved here, and what I am amazed by is that they risk deportation every day, and yet work hard and well to make a few bucks so they can get to the next level, not to mention sending substantial $$ home. One of the fellows I mentiond with the car service has lived away from his family for twenty years--think about it--twentry years--and he lives in a one room apartment, sending $$ back to his family in Honduras where a couple of his kids have graduated from college, with one more to go, and then I think he will go home with a nice nestegg and tremendous pride that he was able to change the direction of his kids lives, and keeping his family intact. Pride. Real pride.

If the OP and her hubbie will do the same--and why not--they will be taking the first steps to change their lives as well.

Victor, I am ashamed that you are being so discouraging when solutions are everywhere, and they don't need $$ to relocate. You think these folks in my area--mostly form Central America--came here with $1000 in their pocket?? Think again.

They are the brave ones. They are the ones who have given up their comfort zone to change the direction of ther families--particualry their kids--forever.

[ValerieA 350]

Hey, everyone, while I know we are all trying to be helpful, remember the TOS forbids advising people to commit illegal acts - like working "under the table" or working without papers (I know, it is forgiven when the person AOS's, but it is still illegal).

[Shuki 4]

Regardless of what the website says, the OP should go down to the courthouse and find out in person.

I was unable to add my Wife to my BofA account, after weeks of screwing around with them I went to Chase and got it done in 15 minutes. I used this as an example to show that there are exceptions to stuff all the time.

Hmm had the same problem and eventually ended up opening the new account in Chase !