Watching train wrecks and rubber-necking at accidents

[EAS 45]

In the admittedly short time that I have been registered on this board I have read stories of:

• How some people ignore blatant, oh so obvious, signs of fraud in the name of luv
• How some people think that they have the RIGHT to deny a green card to someone because a relationship did not work out the way they wanted
• How some people believe that because they are going to have a child that they should be allowed to jump ahead of everyone else
• How some people believe that they should spy on the one they are supposed to trust
• How some people feel that they shouldn't be required to meet in person
• How someone has lied to the one they supposedly love and come seeking advice on if they will be able to perpetuate that lie
• How some people think that they shouldn't have to meet income/tax filing/etc. requirements because they are just special [of course they don't say it that way. It is always the system that is wrong.]
• How some people presume that because things don't go their way it is the fault of the Government, the Government employee, the Gods, anyone but themselves

I read most of these stories with incredulity, but I read them just the same. Sometimes I feel like responding, actually most of the time but I control myself.

I never really understood why people would slow down more than necessary at the site of an accident and crane their neck in an attempt to see the aftermath. But I guess my reading page after page of these stories is about the same.

I do wonder,

• why some people don't think before they act?
• why do some people with {or about to have} a child feel they are {or should be} more privileged than others?
• why are some people so spiteful?
• why can't some people just let go if it is not working out?
• why do some people seem to revel in playing the injured party?

I realize that none of these questions has a static answer but I am still dumbfounded that:

• Some people can't accept the fact that rules apply to them, no matter how special they think they are.
• Some people get caught in the headlights like a deer.
• Some people think that lying to hide their {perceived} negative past is a good way to start a relationship.
• Some people think that because a rule is inconvenient for them personally that it is a bad rule.
• Some people can't read step by step instructions AND follow them!
• Some people refuse to accept that a negative outcome is the result of their own actions and can not be attributed to someone else.

[SAT 9,609]

In pursuit of Utopia?

"That's the way the egg roll".......Confucius.

[Caryh 5,206]

How dare you talking about me? Just had to put in one you missed, its all about me. All these things are just human nature. At one time man thought the sun revolved around the world, but humankind learned that the universe did not revolve around the earth. Just as mankind had to learn that lesson, so does each indiviudual, its a big step in becoming a grown up that many don't make or forget when they feel hurt.

[SAT 9,609]

How dare you talking about me? Just had to put in one you missed, its all about me. All these things are just human nature. At one time man thought the sun revolved around the world, but humankind learned that the universe did not revolve around the earth. Just as mankind had to learn that lesson, so does each indiviudual, its a big step in becoming a grown up that many don't make or forget when they feel hurt.

watch it Cary! the last time I talked about human nature here, people tried to kill me.....

[Caryh 5,206]

watch it Cary! the last time I talked about human nature here, people tried to kill me.....

I've often noticed that's also a common human trait.

[NikLR 13,232]

To accept that what you do control can cause good, also means that eventually you have accept that what you do control can cause bad. People love to say "I did it" but only when they get the result they desire. It's a much harder thing to say "I messed up." But you learn so much more from messing up than you ever do from the pat on the back. Picking yourself up again, is a challenge, but one that should always be undertaken unless you choose to live your life going backwards with a "poor me" attitude.

Live life to the fullest. Arrive in the grave in a body that is well used, been there done that, with the thought "What a ride!"

[EAS 45]

{cut} People love to say "I did it" but only when they get the result they desire. It's a much harder thing to say "I messed up." {cut}

This is so true in my experience.

[CHarvey80 72]

It's all about the ID

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I think sometimes on here we try to be supportive of everyone who has been spurned by a foreign spouse. If someone is a good person, they don't deserve to be played by someone else, even if they ignored the red flags. I know we all sometimes just want to yell "You are obviously a scammer" or "Can't you see he/she is scamming you?" However, these people usually older than their partner think they are getting the deal of a lifetime - a young foreign partner that they couldn't dream of in America. Many of these people couldn't even find a partner of the same age domestically, so they take a risk on this hot young thing that professes to love them and want to make sweet love to them and predictably these cases usually don't work out. Sure, there are cases of people from cultures were this is a norm and maybe it will work, but you have to ask yourself, what is this person gaining from being married to me? If I was from their culture would they even give me a second look?

Perhaps it is just narcism, I don't know.

Honestly, everybody thinks they are a special cupcake save a few people. We've got that problem, trust me. I think it is a matter of people not reminding themselves that USCIS gets thousands of petitions a day and you are just a number, nothing more. There will be no fair treatment or special treatment (save rightly so for military members) and the results will always be random.

I don't get the normal pregnancy thing. Sure everybody wants to be with their spouse when they give birth, but life is like that. If it worked for an expedite, everybody would be attempting to do it. Somebody jumped on me and basically told me to keep my legs closed when I said that we might be pregnant and it would be high risk and I might use that as a reason for an expedite. It is was pretty inappropriate without knowing the backstory that my husband was about to have surgery on his family jewels and we didn't know if they would ever work again so of course we were trying. I think people should be helpful without being judgmental about these sort of things.

As to the people who are out to get their "scamming" partner, I do often wonder if maybe some of them were just complete psychos that said partner ran the other way. Somebody who is that vengeful is obviously unstable. Good for their foreign partner for moving on.

[Darnell 8,479]

Hey ! Welcome to VJ!

Your observations are accurate - but

They are part of a pattern, something cyclical - ie

Folk who read stuff here and understand what they read get the same opinions as you.

No worries, there.

I congratulate you on being a reader - you (and anyone else) can read some awesome life-changing stuff here.

My fav has been mcat, so far.

----

The thing that always kicks me in the nads is the power of self-entitlement from some of the posters. Sure, they are emotionally hurt by something happening with their foreign spouse, but to push it over to self-entitlement always is a shock to me, no matter how many times I read about it or even who it is writing about it.

----

Now, when we read about foreign spouse abuse cases (like mursa ) it really makes me want to put out a team of lawyers, police and military police to descend on the perp and get stuff done. But that's just me.

----

In summary, though - I think most of the folk that peg your list started with good intentions, but when the emotional pain kicked in they 'lost it' and were hoping for another path (a vindictive path, perhaps?) that would somehow balance their emotional upheaval.

Alrighty - end o my input.. Have a good one !

[TBoneTX 46,122]

My fav has been mcat, so far.

Si, man.

What about the frantic cries for help from someone whose foreign fiance washed his pants with the passport (& visa) in the pocket? Hasn't anyone ever heard of checking ALL pockets of ALL clothing BEFORE throwing things in the wash, huh man?

[EAS 45]

I think sometimes on here we try to be supportive of everyone who has been spurned by a foreign spouse. If someone is a good person, they don't deserve to be played by someone else, even if they ignored the red flags. I know we all sometimes just want to yell "You are obviously a scammer" or "Can't you see he/she is scamming you?" However, these people usually older than their partner think they are getting the deal of a lifetime - a young foreign partner that they couldn't dream of in America. Many of these people couldn't even find a partner of the same age domestically, so they take a risk on this hot young thing that professes to love them and want to make sweet love to them and predictably these cases usually don't work out. Sure, there are cases of people from cultures were this is a norm and maybe it will work, but you have to ask yourself, what is this person gaining from being married to me? If I was from their culture would they even give me a second look?

Perhaps it is just narcism, I don't know.

Honestly, everybody thinks they are a special cupcake save a few people. We've got that problem, trust me. I think it is a matter of people not reminding themselves that USCIS gets thousands of petitions a day and you are just a number, nothing more. There will be no fair treatment or special treatment (save rightly so for military members) and the results will always be random.

I don't get the normal pregnancy thing. Sure everybody wants to be with their spouse when they give birth, but life is like that. If it worked for an expedite, everybody would be attempting to do it. Somebody jumped on me and basically told me to keep my legs closed when I said that we might be pregnant and it would be high risk and I might use that as a reason for an expedite. It is was pretty inappropriate without knowing the backstory that my husband was about to have surgery on his family jewels and we didn't know if they would ever work again so of course we were trying. I think people should be helpful without being judgmental about these sort of things.

As to the people who are out to get their "scamming" partner, I do often wonder if maybe some of them were just complete psychos that said partner ran the other way. Somebody who is that vengeful is obviously unstable. Good for their foreign partner for moving on.

I hope that I am not coming across as unsympathetic. I believe that I do have sympathy for those that were truly blindsided by some development but some things one can almost predict.

[The Mean Lady 604]

I love this thread.

[TBoneTX 46,122]

Add to OP's rant-list: K-1 couples who have zero savings for (and only dim knowledge of the need for) AOS/EAD/AP fees.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Add to OP's rant-list: K-1 couples who have zero savings for (and only dim knowledge of the need for) AOS/EAD/AP fees.