K-1 Wife vanished after receiving conditional green card

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I thought when you re-married there was supposed to be no first person. We all become a family and everyone is important in the family.

At the end of the day, a child can not defend themselves from an adult. Even though my second husband is a kind and gentle man, it is my job to look out for my daughter's interests and protect her at all costs. That is part of being a parent.

Right now you need to just divorce her and forget it and move on.

[decocker 7,198]

I thought when you re-married there was supposed to be no first person. We all become a family and everyone is important in the family.

while this is a nice ideal, blending families isn't so simple. it takes work from not only the couple getting married, but the children involved as well. it isn't so easy to get such cooperation from children (especially teens), but the cooperation from the adults must be mutual and pliable to fit the demands of the new family dynamic. and there's no telling what those needs will be until you're in the thick of it.

try and be thankful your losses are minimal at this point (it may not seem like it right now, but really, you're lucky she never had you arrested, sounds like she was trying) and move on.

[Benediction 15]

Man, you got burnt. The only thing you can do is accept it, learn a lesson and move on. I know that isn't what you want to hear and may anger you, but the writing was on the walls from the start. Hope your hearts will heal in time, and especially concerned for your daughter and the treatment she saw you accept...

[Cathi 5,783]

I thought when you re-married there was supposed to be no first person. We all become a family and everyone is important in the family.

your children always come first, always. They depend upon you for protection at any age. People here are trying to give you good advice. When you tell someone your marriage is fine, it doesn't mean it's falling apart like you said to us. Your wife asked you to go to that interview and lie, and you did. Your only option is divorce.

[Cathi 5,783]

..

Edited February 22, 2013 by mimolicious

[Darnell 8,479]

i suggest you file for annulment.

Once the annulment is granted, hand carry a copy of it and the original, plus your pile of evidence,

into the USCIS office where you two interviewed (via an infopass appointment).

Ask for the ICE shift supervisor, be prepared to wait till you get that human

and then

hand over all , showing the annulment and giving him the copy.

Tell the ICE Shift Supervisor that you were scammed for a green card.

Then walk away.

When / if she's stopped, asked for her green card, something might happen to her (unsure, really) .

When / if she files for ROC, something might happen to her at the ROC interview.

I stress the word might here.. Regardless - do all that? you've done about as much as you can do, from an ICE standpoint.

----

Also, change your locks, ditch your email accounts, change your telephone numbers with no forwarding information. If you receive any postal mail on her, send it back, marking 'Receipient address unknown, visa scammer' on the outside.

[gandacel 7]

People on here already gave you great advice, follow it! I wish the best to you and your daughter and I hope that some day you will find someone who will know how to be a real wife and mother!

[Greg3070 19]

your children always come first, always. They depend upon you for protection at any age. People here are trying to give you good advice. When you tell someone your marriage is fine, it doesn't mean it's falling apart like you said to us. Your wife asked you to go to that interview and lie, and you did. Your only option is divorce.

The more I think about the events at that hearing, I know the question of how are you was before we were sworn in. It was a gesture of politeness, not an official question. She told us when she started the official questions. So, as I said before, I was never asked about the marriage. We were asked some questions about her background. Standard ones like have you been a hooker, drug dealer, or arrested. Then a request for documents and some questions about where and when we were married. I was planning on discussing the counseling, but it was never brought up. I didn't lie, I just didn't offer it. How awkward would that have been? Oh, BTW she is a crazy ######? I don't think so. If they cared, they needed to ask.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

The more I think about the events at that hearing, I know the question of how are you was before we were sworn in. It was a gesture of politeness, not an official question. She told us when she started the official questions. So, as I said before, I was never asked about the marriage. We were asked some questions about her background. Standard ones like have you been a hooker, drug dealer, or arrested. Then a request for documents and some questions about where and when we were married. I was planning on discussing the counseling, but it was never brought up. I didn't lie, I just didn't offer it. How awkward would that have been? Oh, BTW she is a crazy ######? I don't think so. If they cared, they needed to ask.

I'm sorry some people have been so judgmental of you in these circumstances. Certainly, that is uncalled for and inappropriate.

Riogan gave you some good advice as did Vanessa. File for divorce, change the locks on the house, get a new phone number, get new email address, make sure her name isn't on any sort of joint accounts or anything like that (I suspect you have already removed them, but just in case you haven't . . .), and when the divorce is final send a copy to USCIS (include her name and A#), explain that she abandoned you the day she received her green card and that you do not believe she was honest in her reasons for getting married in the first place. Include details and any documentation you have in a straight-forward, non-emotional way.

Another possibility instead of her planning this from the start (which she could have done as well) is I wonder if she really believed the 'myth' that all Americans are wealthy and the streets are filled with endless opportunity here in the US - and was disillusioned when she got here and realized that she wasn't in for the 'easy life' she had hoped? Her demands for money, for 'address', for prestige and such really seem to indicate that these may have been her real motivation for getting married, and when they didn't materialize, any love she did have for you also went out the window with her disappointment. Regardless, she did leave once she got her conditional green card and that does give you a bit of an advantage.

She needs to file to remove conditions on her green card either in 2 years or once she is divorced. It is in your best interest to get divorced rather than waiting out those two years. She will have to prove that she entered the marriage in good faith and that the two of you lived in an honest marriage - her sudden departure once she got a green card does not do much to prove her 'good faith'. I think you can expect that once she discovers she needs evidence of her 'good faith' she might try and come back, professing her love, professing her willingness to try again - and will show up just long enough to get what she needs, and then take off again.

If she does go back to Europe and remains there for an extended period of time (over a year) without special permission to be outside of the US, that too would work in your favour. If she tries to re-enter she may find that her green card status has automatically been revoked - especially if they have your divorce and documentation of your suspicions on file.

The most important thing for you to do is to move on with your life. You were willing to work on a marriage with this woman, but it didn't work out. It may be that she planned to leave from the beginning, or it may be that she became disillusioned with the reality of the US when she had expected much more. For whatever reason it was, I am sorry it didn't work out and encourage you to do what you can to protect yourself if she is a 'schemer', or to just move on with your life if she was 'real'. Once you are divorced, the immigration problem is hers. She will have to prove her integrity; she will have to prove her account. (You may wish to include copies of the police 'no action' records for when she called the police to the house with your report to USCIS. If you provide them it will look better than if she provides them, if there was no action taken. You then get to include your version of the story and that will be on file).

Good luck to you, and again, I am sorry for what you are going through, and that you have been subjected to some inappropriate judgmental comments on this forum.

Edited February 22, 2013 by Kathryn41

[Greg3070 19]

IF I MAY ADD:

This day was sort of blur. When I wrote that first blog, I hadn't thought about how the events occurred. I recall it was quite simple. Let me elaborate now.

When we were called into the room, the hearing officer escorted us in, told us to have a seat. She said how are things. Nothing was official yet! It was just a simple gesture of politeness. Same as a waitress or gas station attendant asking how things are. It was irrelevant. My response, irrelevant as it was mere courtesy. Saying the word "Fine" in response to such a gesture is again, irrelevant! IT WAS NOT A DESCRIPTION OF MY MARRIAGE

The hearing officer swore us in. She then asked my wife some standard questions. have you been a hooker? A drug dealer? committed any felonies? Ever been arrested? Deported from the United States, overstayed a visa and some other immigrant type questions.

Next she asked for documents. She asked for our marriage documents, our passports, her visa, her childs visa, her work permit (which she didn't even tell me she had, btw), my tax returns and my pay stubs. There may have been some others but I don't recall what they were. She asked a few questions about where we got married and some other things about how long I had worked my job and a few other things related to the documents.

That was it, she said that was all she needed and sent us back to the lobby to wait for her to process the green card. 10 or so minutes later she came back out and said my wife would have it in 2 to 3 weeks and thanked us for our time.

I'm sorry If I made it sound like I went in professing my marriage was fine. I did not! I replied "Fine" to an introductory, non official statement. I was never asked about the marriage nor did I ever have the opportunity to bring up any issues. I was prepared to explain that we were attending counseling, but it was obvious that no one cared so I didn't discuss it. If I failed by not bringing it up, I appologize. however having worked in in law enforcement for many years before this I know how legal proceedings work. If they don't ask, you aren't obligated to bring it up! I answered the questions and was dismissed.

So, now, I have no history of telling them the marriage was fine. Stop telling me I told them the marriage was fine. I DIDN'T! I answered there questions,

provided documents and left.

Hope that clarifies it for everyone.

Thank you.

[Darnell 8,479]

Nota.Bene.: I think annulment carries more weight with ICE, than a divorce. When/If she applies for RoC, that annulment will be asked about at the interview.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Nota.Bene.: I think annulment carries more weight with ICE, than a divorce. When/If she applies for RoC, that annulment will be asked about at the interview.

If he qualifies for an annulment- he would have to prove her lack of good faith and he may or may not succeed with that - but certainly that is a good route to try. If not, then a divorce will work as well.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You say she lied about being a divorcee and then got divorced, is that true? So she very recently divorced when you filed for her?

[Ismail+Cassie 36]

Well its not like he lied..i guess he did but he thought he could work it out with her thats why, he didnt want to get her denied cuz she made him feel they could work it out.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Wonder what her side of the story is.