Super Frustrated after i-485 interview...request advice and expertise

[foreverandever 0]

All,

Today my wife and I had a i-485 interview in Long Island City NY.

The lady that interviewed us began by swearing us in by oath and then proceeded to ask my wife pretty standard questions...name, address, etc.

The questions that linger in my head are the ones below:

To wifey:

Have you met your husband's mother? No.

In the two years you guys have dated before marriage, you never saw his mother? No. Why? His mother is traditional at heart and wants him to marry a korean wife. Also, his parent's divorced when he was a young age, and he is not close to either of his parents.

Where did your husband live while you dated prior to marriage? - In NJ with his mother

I thought you said he was not close to his mother? - He is not close, but there are asian tradition values that you still need to support them from a family point of view. Me: She is also going through a tough time, has recently filed for bankruptcy, and therefore I am supporting her financially until she gets back up on her feet and therefore she was living with me at the time.

Did you ever have a name change? Yes, when I was 10 years old. Why? My parents changed my name at that time. (Interviewer looks through i-485 documentation and then validates and says that she does see a name change documented).

Could I see your old passport? (She did not have her old passport, but she did have her latest one.

Upon viewing her passport..she states, so this is a Chinese passport? Wife responds No, it is a Taiwanese Passport. Interviewer responds: But it says Republic of China above where it says Taiwan, so its when they took over so it is a Chinese passport. (Wife and I remain silent and a bit dumbfounded and do not bother trying to explain...)

To me:

Do you guys have a lease agreement? No, we do not. The apartment is owned by a chinese landlord and our agreement is to pay $XXXX amount in cash on a month by month basis. (Interviewer Response: So then she can kick you guys out at any time then huh). Me: I suppose so, but it could be a good thing as it grants you flexibility.

Have you met her parents before? Yes. When? They visited from Taiwan during Thanksgiving and Christmas this past year. How did it go? It was great. There was a bit of a language barrier so my wife and her friends assisted in the translation, but overall they were fantastic. (Interviewer Response: So they didn't speak English). Me: No, they did not.

Interviewer states that my drivers license is NJ and my wife's drivers license is NY. She asks me to explain. I state that based on my research, you are considered a new york resident after 1 year, and I moved in with my wife to NY in Jan 1 2013, I haven't made it a priority to go to the DMV as I am innundated with 100 hour work weeks and I couldn't take much time off the past month. She responds by saying: But your company is based out of New York and you have been working out of there since 2007 so you should have changed it. This could turn into a big issue with the IRS when you file your taxes. I respond by stating no worries, I will get that resolved as soon as possible. However, I did change my resident address and notified my company of this starting 2013. (I do not bother explaining that one of my company's office locations is in NY, but I have been living in NJ until 2013 of this year. Quite difficult trying to explain someone about management consulting in general and how your home office is quite rarely visited and you are typically at the client site...sigh)

She asks a whole bunch of yes, no questions to my wife: Are you a terrorist, have you been with the military, blahblah blah. She responds to all of the questions. She asks if any of us have been in jail, arrested, convicted of a crime, etc. We say no to all. I do mention I have one outstanding parking violation with NY from this past year. She asks how much. I say around $50. She asks for what? I respond alternate street. I mention that I although I have had tickets in the past, I have always paid them off although typically there is a late fee.

At this point she states that there is going to be a background check. I ask if it is recommended if I pay off the ticket today and if that would help. She responds by saying that she is not recommending anything, but what I do is based on my moral character. (#######? seriously?)

We did have a joint bank account, pictures of friends at the ceremony, pictures of a BBQ, a bunch of pictures, she didn't bother looking at them all. we also had joint membership to the gym, health insurance, 3 years of tax returns w2's, my companies pay stubs for past two months, utility bills (time warner, national grid).

We received a form back when she escorted it out. There was like 4 checkboxes on it. I forgot exactly what they were, but one of them was a request for a 2nd interview. another was a request for additional supporting documentation. another was a rejection i believe. the one that i was checked off was that we needed to undergo a background check, and that we need to wait up to 90 days and to contact them if we don't hear by then. Why do you think this happened? Does this mean that she feels we passed the interview, but that the background check is just the final thing to wrap up? Or could she potentially make us jump through even additional hoops? thanks all

[kzielu 1,149]

So why exactly you are so frustrated ? This happens to majority of people...

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

So you lived with your mom for the two years you were dating but your gf never met her? And now you are married and your wife has never met your mother even though she lives nearby and you used to live with her... And while you have been married longer than a month, you just moved in with your wife in January, just in time for the interview.

Yeah, that might appear strange to an IO...

[bt1 42]

So you lived with your mom for the two years you were dating but your gf never met her? And now you are married and your wife has never met your mother even though she lives nearby and you used to live with her... And while you have been married longer than a month, you just moved in with your wife in January, just in time for the interview.

Yeah, that might appear strange to an IO...

I agree, while it may well be the truth, this whole scenario seems a bit unusual, I too would question it.

[Brian&Ivy 1]

i was interviewed in Long Island City office one week ago.. The interviewers there are not nice as I saw post here..

I think the best thing is to wait.. definitely they will need time to make decision.

Good luck!! I am still waiting for my online update.

[CC90 90]

Upon viewing her passport..she states, so this is a Chinese passport? Wife responds No, it is a Taiwanese Passport. Interviewer responds: But it says Republic of China above where it says Taiwan, so its when they took over so it is a Chinese passport. (Wife and I remain silent and a bit dumbfounded and do not bother trying to explain...)

This is pretty funny actually, but you made a good decision not to go into it given her already difficult attitude.

I do mention I have one outstanding parking violation with NY from this past year. She asks how much. I say around $50. She asks for what? I respond alternate street. I mention that I although I have had tickets in the past, I have always paid them off although typically there is a late fee.

This, in contrast, was not a good decision. You are under no obligation to disclose this and you should not have. (Heck, she wasn't even asking YOU!) Sometimes nervously talking about minor infractions might be a cover to something greater, hence her decision to make sure you're not convicted of any crimes that would make you ineligible to petition a foreign spouse (Adam Walsh Act) or have petitioned for other foreign "spouses" in the past.

At this point she states that there is going to be a background check. I ask if it is recommended if I pay off the ticket today and if that would help. She responds by saying that she is not recommending anything, but what I do is based on my moral character. (#######? seriously?)

I assume you're the petitioner? If so, your moral character doesn't really matter; she's just blowing smoke to make you nervous and see your reaction. She wants to make sure the marriage is genuine.

Does this mean that she feels we passed the interview, but that the background check is just the final thing to wrap up? Or could she potentially make us jump through even additional hoops? thanks all

In all honesty, your story is a little suspicious. I'm not surprised that she wanted to do some more digging. If your marriage is genuine, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's just waiting. And don't be surprised if you yourself get called in for fingerprints.

You answered everything you could have and truthfully (I assume), and I think the only thing you could have done is not talk about the parking ticket. It might take a while, but just try to be patient--it will clear up if everything is in order.

Edited February 21, 2013 by CC90

[foreverandever 0]

Thanks for the feedback so far. Agree that the interviewers are not nice.

As for the reason I am frustrated, I cannot believe how difficult it is to complete this process especially for a married couple in a genuine relationship.

a) i disagree with the mother feedback - we did not want to get her involved, already knew she would not be okay with it, yet we wanted to progress with our future. also because of the fact that I am not close w/her, but that she was living with me at the time due to her bankruptcy thus me financially supporting her seems perfectly reasonable to me.

b) to clarify, my wife and i married in july of last year. we lived together at her old place since july 2012 and we moved into a new place in january 2013.

c) also to clarify, the question to me was if i had any outstanding tickets and violations - and is the reason why i disclosed the information of having one outstanding parking ticket. agree that she is just blowing smoke, but found it to be a bit rude. its just a $50 parking ticket.

d) i'm still not clear on why they are doing a background check. and someone replied mentioning that this happens to a majority of people? i would have assumed that they already performed a background check on both me and my wife. and if the interviewer was cognizant enough, she would understand that a fortune500 company doesn't hire an employee without conducting a fairly thorough background check of their own. but i have nothing to hide so I don't really care - its just that I felt frustrated in the attitude and overall way the interview was conducted, and quite frankly felt sorry for my wife and she was upset because we were planning on going to travel overseas this summer, but now she believes she cannot leave the country or else they will just reject her application on that basis alone.

e) still was hoping folks could provide some additional direction on what typically are the next steps from here. is it background check then approval, or do they typically make couples jump through additional hoops after that. also, typically what does the background check entail?

thanks all for your help. guess we need to deal with the system. just a bit ironic how the actual people trying to immigrate to this country for malicious reasons causes additional burdens for the folks that are just trying to live their lives.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You will either get approved or called for a second interview.

Marriages are about family. You are making a family by getting married, and your mother's family is growing by her son getting married. Not having her meet your wife, her daughter-in-law, is odd, even if she objects to the relationship. Does she even know you are married? Are you going to introduce her to her grandchildren?

Edited February 22, 2013 by Harpa Timsah

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

I am sort of between the OP and the others on this. While I agree with others, your case does not seem too strong, at the same time I agree with the OP, the lady was asking so many questions that I also believe were completely irrelevant. Chinese passport, or Taiwanese passport, for example. Who the hell cares? I mean, really. Show me your citizenship, show me the visa you entered, your I-94 and don't care if the passport you are holding is Chinese, or Taiwanese, or Korean, or Pakistani. Sounds to me from the OP's post that this IO already decided to not approve these people, hence asking so many things. My husband never EVER met my relatives ever. They are all back in Europe, and I, myself, have not met them since my parents moved to America with me when I was like 5 years old. My parents have passed away early on while I was still a kid, so obviously my closest people to me would be my relatives. The IO did not even asked about this part. Whether they have a record of the passing of my parents, or what, I don't know, but she never even asked us if my husband has ever met my parents, or any relatives. Just seems like soooooooooooooooo many questions were asked that were not fully the fact that the IO wanted to make sure their marriage is real. Again, I agree to some extent with the others here, clearly, OP's situation is pretty unstable which always reflects that the marriage might not last long.

I wish you good luck OP though!