Do we need a sticky for newbies?

[kristen_maroc 126]

So... after a few years here, I've seen the drama, I've seen the... strong women sharing their sometimes unpopular or "harsh" opinions with newbies and/or people who they characterize as the "rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns" folks... the skepticism that many MENA people get when they post here without telling their USC partners about this place... and it got me wondering...

Do we need a FAQ or "Welcome to the MENA boards" sticky? Something to explain a bit about the tone of the boards to the newbies who come here and might get scared off by the content here? Because I know that the "reality checks" are needed, but it seems like there are an awful lot of questions that come up a lot. It feels like we're constantly describing red flags, etc.

Is a FAQ/introductory post something that we might want to work on as a board and make a sticky? It could include things like:

- What is "MENA" and other acronyms?

- What are "red flags?" How do we overcome them?

- Why is there so much talk about fraud on the MENA boards?

- Why do people keep asking me hard questions that might seem irrelevant or like they don't trust our relationship? (answer- because that's what you are up against at the consulate)

- Past interview questions

- Why do people here seem "harsh?"

- Country-specific details that come up often

Again-- just a thought! I know that it would have been helpful to me to see this all in one place when I first started... before jumping into the discussion head-first, so to speak!

Love and respect to all!

k

[Happytobe 164]

I think you may be onto something.....

[Mithra 1,185]

That's a good idea!

Why do we seem harsh? Probably a combination of personality and exposure to the bs around here for the past 5+ yrs. There have been some doozies of stories and just some overall craziness. I wish people realized that harsh doesn't = mean. Some of it is delivery, too. Personally, I'm not a bubbly person. I'm more short and to the point about things. That doesn't read well a lot of times. Maybe I need more emoticons?

[abbi627 43]

I think that is a good idea. I know it would have helped me and even though I have been around a while I guess you can say I'm a "newbie" too since we still have the whole process to get through. Me personally, when I first came on this board I simply read. I read this board and many of the older posts. And when I finally posted I sort of knew what I was getting into LOL. I know at first some of the responses I got made me stop and say "whoa what did i ever do to her?" but now I don't take it personally. Because I know that the toughest critic we have - and the one who matters - is the CO who decides our fate at the interview. And from what I understand even the harshest ladies on this site are like fuzzy warm kittens compared to the COs. So I post looking for honest answers and all I'm thinking about is how to get approved. And I figure everything I learn can only help. Plus I am used to working in large groups of women and there are ALWAYS so many different typed of personalities and some clash - A LOT. So I'm not surprised to see the same thing here. What matters to me is getting good information. And I'm sure that matters to most newbies that come here. So yes I think that is a good idea.

[abbi627 43]

Oh and I forgot to add - I'm a card carrying member of the sunshine, lollipops and unicorns club

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Excellent idea. But most newbies aren't like Abbi. She actually read old posts and discussions. I did the same once I found this site and lurked for a long time. Even though a lot of it was stuff I already knew because I am fairly entrenched in the Arab community in my area I learned a lot just by doing my research. I don't know if new posters have any idea that they can search for old posts or Embassy reviews but it might be helpful to have a thread where we point them in that direction. At least for NA consulates there are a LOT of reviews. I read them too because the Sana'a Embassy has ZERO reviews.

It can be a frightening prospect to be brand new to this and then come to the sudden realization that this may not be a walk in the park. At times it even feels unfair because we see most people from other regions breeze right through while we languish in the black hole that is AP and deal with incompetent Embassies. But the more you know the better prepared you'll be so I am very grateful to all the insight I have been given by you gals and guys.

[Mithra 1,185]

That may or may not change.

Oh and I forgot to add - I'm a card carrying member of the sunshine, lollipops and unicorns club

[Happytobe 164]

I read a lot of the older posts and lurked before posting much of anything myself. But as Sarah and Adnan stated, that does not seem to be the norm, considering many things are addressed over and over and over.... And like Abbi stated, reading a lot of the older posts, does help to "see" and prepare one for some of the "blunter" posts. A warning should be posted, something to the effect of "if you take offense easily by posters on this site, how will you handle the Consulate Officers?" Just saying....

[Mithra 1,185]

No kidding! But then they are the folks that come here saying that COs are just big meanies and they're out to get them. COs are doing their job whether anyone likes what they do or not.

I read a lot of the older posts and lurked before posting much of anything myself. But as Sarah and Adnan stated, that does not seem to be the norm, considering many things are addressed over and over and over.... And like Abbi stated, reading a lot of the older posts, does help to "see" and prepare one for some of the "blunter" posts. A warning should be posted, something to the effect of "if you take offense easily by posters on this site, how will you handle the Consulate Officers?" Just saying....

[kristen_maroc 126]

That's a good idea!

Why do we seem harsh? Probably a combination of personality and exposure to the bs around here for the past 5+ yrs. There have been some doozies of stories and just some overall craziness. I wish people realized that harsh doesn't = mean. Some of it is delivery, too. Personally, I'm not a bubbly person. I'm more short and to the point about things. That doesn't read well a lot of times. Maybe I need more emoticons?

Emoticons help!

No, but I know that the "harshness" is often needed. This would just be a sort of softer landing pad... a way to set people up to expect "hard" questions or "no-nonsense" answers so that they might not be quite so taken aback...

[kristen_maroc 126]

No kidding! But then they are the folks that come here saying that COs are just big meanies and they're out to get them. COs are doing their job whether anyone likes what they do or not.

Yeah, I could see a section called "Why the Consular Officers aren't the enemy" that explains that they have a job to do, that ultimately, they are trying to protect us USC's and the country in general from immigration fraud... and that our anger shouldn't be focused at THEM as much as the people who came before who did commit fraud and made the fraud statistics for this region so high.

(Not to excuse bad behavior when it happens).

[Mithra 1,185]

Honestly, I come off as harsh IRL, too. Even my husband will tell me I'm harsh sometimes. It's not intentional most of the time. It's just me.

Emoticons help!

No, but I know that the "harshness" is often needed. This would just be a sort of softer landing pad... a way to set people up to expect "hard" questions or "no-nonsense" answers so that they might not be quite so taken aback...

[sandinista! 1,816]

Part of it's differing senses of humor too.

[RFQ 110]

We need a post on how to use tact. This forum section is lacking.

[Mithra 1,185]

Well since you brought it up, you should post something about how to post with tact.

Sometimes it's tough to respond tactfully when you read some of the out there stuff in this forum. It's like a knee jerk are you shittin' me reaction.

We need a post on how to use tact. This forum section is lacking.