Trying to get a feel for things...

[Donna A 4]

it dont look like fraud at all. she has her conditional green card and just applied to remove the conditions. she could have divorces him as soon as she got the first card. she sure wouldnt have to wait around 2 more years to leave him.

any way u need to be talking to ur husband about things. see if he wants u to move with him or if he wants to divorse. maybe when he moves away he will realize he misses u and then he will change his mind on things. some times abstance makes the heart grow fonder.

good luck with any thing u choose.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Hi everyone... I haven't been to these boards in ages. I feel a little bad. I didn't really have to deal with any immigration issues for the past 2 years, but all in all, it seems like a neverending story.

I'm from Germany, my husband is the USC. We have been married since January 2004, and I received my conditional green card in December of 2004. It's about to run out, so we applied for removal of the conditional residency. My case is currently pending. I received a NOA last week.

Here's where things fall apart: last night, my husband told me, for the dozenth time during these years, that he doesn't know whether he's cut out for marriage, that marrying me was a mistake, that he wants to be single and **** around, et cetera. I have heard it so many times, I know it by heart. He has a very fickle personality, and a lot of growing up to do, even at 29, but I love him. Still... after hearing it so many times, I'm starting to give up. It is so hurtful, and every time our marriage breaks down like that, I feel like a piece of me dies. I honestly love this guy, but he seems to no longer want to be with me.

As I said, this hasn't happened for the first time. Our marriage has been full of ups and downs. The ups are amazing - he's the guy of my dreams, then. But I don't want to continue living a rollercoaster marriage. I used to believe it would get better some day, but I'm starting to lose that faith. He doesn't even want to try to work it out. I've suggested counseling, but he shot the idea down.

So... at this point... I have some decisions to make. First off, I don't know a damn thing about divorce. I've been one of those lucky people whose parents and friends' parents and relatives have been married for decades. I never thought I'd get divorced, ever. My husband has been divorced once. To complicate things, he's in the military, so I don't know if we go through military lawyers or Colorado lawyers. Hell, I can't even figure out how much it would cost me.

I'm a full time student, but I've been applying for jobs so I won't be left hanging if things do go ill. I'll admit, the financial aspect scares me a little. I could go back to Germany, but I'd lose everything I worked for here these past 2.5 years. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Which leads to the second issue... the I-751. We filed it together, he signed it and everything, but by the time it all goes through, my marriage might be non-existent. I'm so worried that it might look like fraud.

On top of this, my husband is supposed to move to NC in three weeks. I dont know if I should stay, if I should go. It's hard to know anything, these days.

I guess what I'm asking for is experiences... advice... I know I haven't made a decision yet, but I'm getting there. I just want to get an idea of what to expect

Jen,

Since you have jointly filed the I-751 you can permit that application to continue to process as long as you are still legally married. Bear in mind that in the event that an interview is scheduled, your husband would need to attend with you. In the interim, should he move, he would have a responsiblity to record his change of address with USCIS on an I-865, and if you choose to move with him, you would be required to file an AR-11. The AR-11 is due within 10 days of a move, the I-865 your husband should file is due within 30 days of such a move.

There's a good chance that your joint petition would be adjudicated without an interview. Even if you are separated during the period prior to adjudication, as long as the separation is not a legal one, or in a state where separations automatically become finalised as a divorce, then you have no obligation to do anything with the jointly filed I-751 other than informing USCIS of any Change of Address.

If during the pendency of the jointly filed I-751, you legally separate (note that physical separation does not necessarily mean legal) or the marriage terminates in divorce, upon receipt of the divorce decree, you would submit a request to USCIS to withdraw the pending joint application (formerly submitted with your "then-ex-husband") and replace it with a waiver I-751 on the basis of a bona fide marriage that terminated in divorce. This application would be submitted by you alone, along with any and all evidence of the bona fides of your marriage and a copy of your divorce decree. The waiver application uses the same I-751 form, but you would tick "d" on the top of the form under "basis for filing", indicating that you are self-petitioning. This extra step in the process would naturally add some time for adjudication, but you should receive an additional NOA to extend your conditional GC until the waiver is adjudicated.

Good Luck.

Edited November 12, 2006 by diadromous mermaid

[dmartmar 1]

Just a suggestion. Work it out with him to complete your school and finish up the Green Card process, before filing for divorce. Sorry to hear things r not going as u dreamed. I honestly hope you two work it out, good luck.

Only do this is if the marriage works out, not b/c you'll get something out of it.

How does it look like fraud?

The fact that your 2-year interview is almost around the corner and you blame your husband to justify a divorce.

Edited November 12, 2006 by dmartmar

[kitkat1 5]

The fact that your 2-year interview is almost around the corner and you blame your husband to justify a divorce.

dmartmar, why are you still here?

[dmartmar 1]

Dmartmar, why are you still here?

Kitkat1, why do you ask?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Just a suggestion. Work it out with him to complete your school and finish up the Green Card process, before filing for divorce. Sorry to hear things r not going as u dreamed. I honestly hope you two work it out, good luck.

Only do this is if the marriage works out, not b/c you'll get something out of it.

How does it look like fraud?

The fact that your 2-year interview is almost around the corner and you blame your husband to justify a divorce.

Egads, dmartmar! The OP's husband is claiming he feels he is not fit for marriage. Are you suggesting that Jen convince him otherwise?

[dmartmar 1]

The OP's husband is claiming he feels he is not fit for marriage. Are you suggesting that Jen convince him otherwise?

I see both you and the OP claiming her husband doesn't feel the marriage any longer, but not him.

What's been holding him back from getting divorced already, if he's been feeling this way for such a long time?

Why is Jen the one wanting to get divorced?

Was the husband's 2nd marriage just an experiment to him or an improvement upon his 1st?

Edited November 14, 2006 by dmartmar

[sjoefl01 1]

Unless Jen is lying then I don't really think this post is controversial. The husband hasn't put his side in because he isn't on VisaJourney. She wants to get divorced because the guy is an ### hole. He hasn't left her any choice.

There are a lot of people that get screwed in this VJ process. It is not always the American that gets taken. There are some people that search out foreigners to marry because American women would not put up with their #######. That seems like the case with this post. Jen sounds like an honest person. If you know something we don't then you are free to post it.

The OP's husband is claiming he feels he is not fit for marriage. Are you suggesting that Jen convince him otherwise?

I see both you and the OP claiming her husband doesn't feel the marriage any longer, but not him.

What's been holding him back from getting divorced already, if he's been feeling this way for such a long time?

Why is Jen the one wanting to get divorced?

Was the husband's 2nd marriage just an experiment to him or an improvement upon his 1st?

[dmartmar 1]

The husband hasn't put his side in...

Exactly! So why would you say this?

She wants to get divorced because the guy is an ###hole. He hasn't left her any choice.

2nd time marriages usually are better and have more success than 1st ones. For the OP's husband to have just lost all interest in their marriage, things had to have been building up between them for a while and whatever it was that she tried to make it work wasn't good enough.

There are a lot of people that get screwed in this VJ process. It is not always the American that gets taken. There are some people that search out foreigners to marry because American women would not put up with their #######. That seems like the case with this post.

I search out foreign women b/c they DON'T put up with my #######!

[Lou Lou 1]

2nd time marriages usually are better and have more success than 1st ones.

Actually second and subsequent marriages have less chance of success. Approximately 47% of first marriages in the US end in divorce. And approximately 70% of second and subsequent marriages end in divorce.

Edited November 14, 2006 by Lou Lou

[Aussielad 37]

The husband hasn't put his side in...

Exactly! So why would you say this?

She wants to get divorced because the guy is an ###hole. He hasn't left her any choice.

2nd time marriages usually are better and have more success than 1st ones. For the OP's husband to have just lost all interest in their marriage, things had to have been building up between them for a while and whatever it was that she tried to make it work wasn't good enough.

There are a lot of people that get screwed in this VJ process. It is not always the American that gets taken. There are some people that search out foreigners to marry because American women would not put up with their #######. That seems like the case with this post.

I search out foreign women b/c they DON'T put up with my #######!

mira nenne,.....con calma.....tranquillllllllllllllllllllo.

[meauxna 15]

jejejeje B, you're crackin' me up these days

[sercontigo 1]

So sad, I am sorry, Jen.

[Rob and Melinda 0]

So sorry to hear how your husband feels about marriage. Too bad he wan't man enough to accept the bad parts and keep the commitment he made to you. Praying that you can save the marriage and that he will have a change of heart and love you the way you deserve to be loved.

Rob and Melinda