Trying to get a feel for things...

[Jen 0]

Hi everyone... I haven't been to these boards in ages. I feel a little bad. I didn't really have to deal with any immigration issues for the past 2 years, but all in all, it seems like a neverending story.

I'm from Germany, my husband is the USC. We have been married since January 2004, and I received my conditional green card in December of 2004. It's about to run out, so we applied for removal of the conditional residency. My case is currently pending. I received a NOA last week.

Here's where things fall apart: last night, my husband told me, for the dozenth time during these years, that he doesn't know whether he's cut out for marriage, that marrying me was a mistake, that he wants to be single and **** around, et cetera. I have heard it so many times, I know it by heart. He has a very fickle personality, and a lot of growing up to do, even at 29, but I love him. Still... after hearing it so many times, I'm starting to give up. It is so hurtful, and every time our marriage breaks down like that, I feel like a piece of me dies. I honestly love this guy, but he seems to no longer want to be with me.

As I said, this hasn't happened for the first time. Our marriage has been full of ups and downs. The ups are amazing - he's the guy of my dreams, then. But I don't want to continue living a rollercoaster marriage. I used to believe it would get better some day, but I'm starting to lose that faith. He doesn't even want to try to work it out. I've suggested counseling, but he shot the idea down.

So... at this point... I have some decisions to make. First off, I don't know a damn thing about divorce. I've been one of those lucky people whose parents and friends' parents and relatives have been married for decades. I never thought I'd get divorced, ever. My husband has been divorced once. To complicate things, he's in the military, so I don't know if we go through military lawyers or Colorado lawyers. Hell, I can't even figure out how much it would cost me.

I'm a full time student, but I've been applying for jobs so I won't be left hanging if things do go ill. I'll admit, the financial aspect scares me a little. I could go back to Germany, but I'd lose everything I worked for here these past 2.5 years. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Which leads to the second issue... the I-751. We filed it together, he signed it and everything, but by the time it all goes through, my marriage might be non-existent. I'm so worried that it might look like fraud.

On top of this, my husband is supposed to move to NC in three weeks. I dont know if I should stay, if I should go. It's hard to know anything, these days.

I guess what I'm asking for is experiences... advice... I know I haven't made a decision yet, but I'm getting there. I just want to get an idea of what to expect

[Jen 0]

I forgot to ask this... the NOA I received states that my conditional residency has been extended by one year, and that I am allowed to travel and work. Now... if I do travel outside the country, do I just show the POE my letter and green card or what o___O That one really eludes me. It's just a letter, after all.

[anya-D 8]

Jen

I'm so sorry to hear that things does not seems well for you. I really wish yo the best! I cannot offer you any advice aout your immigratin process though Hope you get the asnwer soon

[sjoefl01 1]

I really don't understand the following statement from your post:

I'm a full time student, but I've been applying for jobs so I won't be left hanging if things do go ill. I'll admit, the financial aspect scares me a little. I could go back to Germany, but I'd lose everything I worked for here these past 2.5 years. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If you were a full time student what is it that you worked for?

If you want to know how to stay in the US then ask that question.

[Jen 0]

I really don't understand the following statement from your post:

I'm a full time student, but I've been applying for jobs so I won't be left hanging if things do go ill. I'll admit, the financial aspect scares me a little. I could go back to Germany, but I'd lose everything I worked for here these past 2.5 years. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If you were a full time student what is it that you worked for?

If you want to know how to stay in the US then ask that question.

I'm not asking HOW to stay in the US... how are you deriving that from my statement? I know what it takes to do that. What I was saying was that I am currently going to college, for nursing, but I am not finished with my studies, it'll still take me a while. And yes, I DID and DO work for it. Are you telling me you think being a full time student is not work? It took me forever to get into the program. If I left to go back to Germany, I'd lose all that hard work, because I likely won't be able to transfer any credits. So, those two years I went to college and studied hard for my degree would be lost.

I'm not sure what is so hard to understand about my statement. It wasn't a question on how to stay in the US or anything of that sort. It was me explaining my situation and what's currently on my mind. My worries, and the things I don't understand.

Jen

I'm so sorry to hear that things does not seems well for you. I really wish yo the best! I cannot offer you any advice aout your immigratin process though Hope you get the asnwer soon

Thank you very much It's okay... I'm just trying to figure out what all is involved in getting divorced, and having already filed for the removal of condition. Like I said, I've never been around divorce, especially not in this country, so I have no idea what all would happen if everything just falls apart for us. What I've researched on here and the net only confused me even more. I won't even get into the whole military aspect of it...

[payxibka 10,045]

I will answer one question... the divorce will be handled in Family Court as the military has no jurisdiction on this issue.

If I understand everything you have written, it does not appear that he will contest it. If that is true you can probably get it done fairly cheaply. The more amicably you can get it done the easier it is to do. I do not know if Colorado is a "no fault" state or not. There probably is a legal aid society somewhere close to where you live. So after you make your decision and have the "talk" with him, if all is in agreement to process then simply get the necessary papers filed.

I wish you well... divorce is not a fun thing....

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

I forgot to ask this... the NOA I received states that my conditional residency has been extended by one year, and that I am allowed to travel and work. Now... if I do travel outside the country, do I just show the POE my letter and green card or what o___O That one really eludes me. It's just a letter, after all.

Ugh, Jen...I am SO sorry.

Joel

[sarah and hicham 3]

I really don't understand the following statement from your post:

I'm a full time student, but I've been applying for jobs so I won't be left hanging if things do go ill. I'll admit, the financial aspect scares me a little. I could go back to Germany, but I'd lose everything I worked for here these past 2.5 years. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If you were a full time student what is it that you worked for?

If you want to know how to stay in the US then ask that question.

I think she has been working towards a degree from a university- that's what I took from it.

Jen I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't know you but I hate reading things like this. I wish you the best.

[kitkat1 5]

If you were a full time student what is it that you worked for?

If you want to know how to stay in the US then ask that question.

Seems like you misunderstood. She has work authorization and she is in the country legally. She's trying to deal with the financial aspect of her situation.

[Ta Ta 1]

Es tut mir leid das du diese Probleme hast. Vielleicht kannst du noch warten bis er die

Scheidung einreicht und die Kosten bezahlt, er will ja nicht mehr verheiratet sein.

Sprich mit ihm ob er uberhaupt will das du mit ihm wegziehst

oder da bleibst wo du bist. Sei stark, es wird alles schon gut werden mit dir.

[payxibka 10,045]

Update:

Colorado does not appear to be a "no fault" state. Not that it is a big deal of difference but it will be just a little more challenging than if it were.

[dmartmar 1]

A person not cut for marriage, getting married for a second time.

Hell, I can't even figure out how much it would cost me!

Why are you the one paying for the divorce, if your husband is the one who's "not cut for marriage?"

I'm not asking HOW to stay in the US... how are you deriving that from my statement? I know what it takes to do that. What I was saying was that I am currently going to college, for nursing, but I am not finished with my studies, it'll still take me a while.

So what are you then asking? Currently going to college, but still not finished yet.

If you DO STAY in the US, will you finish?

Edited November 12, 2006 by dmartmar

[dmartmar 1]

I'm so worried it might look like fraud.

That's b/c IT DOES!

But if it wasn't fraud, you should have nothing to worry about then.

[Ken_Maria 0]

Hi everyone... I haven't been to these boards in ages. I feel a little bad. I didn't really have to deal with any immigration issues for the past 2 years, but all in all, it seems like a neverending story.

I'm from Germany, my husband is the USC. We have been married since January 2004, and I received my conditional green card in December of 2004. It's about to run out, so we applied for removal of the conditional residency. My case is currently pending. I received a NOA last week.

Here's where things fall apart: last night, my husband told me, for the dozenth time during these years, that he doesn't know whether he's cut out for marriage, that marrying me was a mistake, that he wants to be single and **** around, et cetera. I have heard it so many times, I know it by heart. He has a very fickle personality, and a lot of growing up to do, even at 29, but I love him. Still... after hearing it so many times, I'm starting to give up. It is so hurtful, and every time our marriage breaks down like that, I feel like a piece of me dies. I honestly love this guy, but he seems to no longer want to be with me.

As I said, this hasn't happened for the first time. Our marriage has been full of ups and downs. The ups are amazing - he's the guy of my dreams, then. But I don't want to continue living a rollercoaster marriage. I used to believe it would get better some day, but I'm starting to lose that faith. He doesn't even want to try to work it out. I've suggested counseling, but he shot the idea down.

So... at this point... I have some decisions to make. First off, I don't know a damn thing about divorce. I've been one of those lucky people whose parents and friends' parents and relatives have been married for decades. I never thought I'd get divorced, ever. My husband has been divorced once. To complicate things, he's in the military, so I don't know if we go through military lawyers or Colorado lawyers. Hell, I can't even figure out how much it would cost me.

I'm a full time student, but I've been applying for jobs so I won't be left hanging if things do go ill. I'll admit, the financial aspect scares me a little. I could go back to Germany, but I'd lose everything I worked for here these past 2.5 years. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Which leads to the second issue... the I-751. We filed it together, he signed it and everything, but by the time it all goes through, my marriage might be non-existent. I'm so worried that it might look like fraud.

On top of this, my husband is supposed to move to NC in three weeks. I dont know if I should stay, if I should go. It's hard to know anything, these days.

I guess what I'm asking for is experiences... advice... I know I haven't made a decision yet, but I'm getting there. I just want to get an idea of what to expect

Jen, a couple of your questions have already been answered. Military has no jurisdiction, Divorce is a family court issue. Marriage is full of ups and downs and divorce is no fun and expensive... make damn sure this is the only option. Sounds like you need to stick out your nursing course or see if you can transfer to NC with ur husband to finish school. It sounds like he is looking for an easy way out and may be willing to make the divorce go smoothly,... work it out between urselves and no lawyers ansd u both will be al ot happier. Just a suggestion, work it out with him to complet your school, finish up the Green Card process..etc before filing for divorce... Sorry to hear things r not going as u dreamed... I honestly hope you two work it out... good luck ken

[aussiewench 9]

I'm so worried it might look like fraud.

That's b/c IT DOES!

But if it wasn't fraud, you should have nothing to worry about then.

How does it look like fraud??? Always nice how you put that little disclaimer.

Jen,

I'm sorry that you are dealing with all this My heart breaks for you. Have a read of the following. The second pertains to the stage in the immigration process that you are at. There is also links within.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=38803

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=38813

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=38847