I need help!.. feeling hopeless

[russ and mary 0]

hello VJ's,

I'm feeling really hopeless right now regarding our visa. We are having trouble finding a co-sponsor,. No one in my husband's family would want to help us with our case. My husband's mother was suppose to be our co-sponsor but after she broke her hip, she has really been difficult and having all kinds of anxieties. When my husband came back here, his mom couldn't take it. It was like she keep him for years away from us and she's scared of him to go. Recently, she is put into a nursing home and my husband is worried about her being. (it's really kinda a long story to tell and more complicated)

It has been tough for all of us (especially to our daughter growing up without her dad) because we have been away from each other for two years. it has been horrible to be apart for that much time. He came back here Nov. 2012 (this time without his mom) and spent Christmas, new year and valentines day together. Now, Im scared of what is going to happen next, I can't see myself thinking of what my daughter would feel like if her dad will go back home without us. It has been a heartbreak for me from what i can remember. I have genuinely concern for my daughter, i don't want her heart to break. My husband can't stay here for too much time because he needs something to support us and there is no way for him to find a living here with a different language.

I don't really know what to do and what is best... thanks for taking time to read this. your response is greatly appreciated.

[Alaska2012 462]

If he can't find a co-sponsor he needs to get a second job

[Boiler 45,486]

Or a first by the sounds of it.

[JL stanley 0]

hello VJ's,

I'm feeling really hopeless right now regarding our visa. We are having trouble finding a co-sponsor,. No one in my husband's family would want to help us with our case. My husband's mother was suppose to be our co-sponsor but after she broke her hip, she has really been difficult and having all kinds of anxieties. When my husband came back here, his mom couldn't take it. It was like she keep him for years away from us and she's scared of him to go. Recently, she is put into a nursing home and my husband is worried about her being. (it's really kinda a long story to tell and more complicated)

It has been tough for all of us (especially to our daughter growing up without her dad) because we have been away from each other for two years. it has been horrible to be apart for that much time. He came back here Nov. 2012 (this time without his mom) and spent Christmas, new year and valentines day together. Now, Im scared of what is going to happen next, I can't see myself thinking of what my daughter would feel like if her dad will go back home without us. It has been a heartbreak for me from what i can remember. I have genuinely concern for my daughter, i don't want her heart to break. My husband can't stay here for too much time because he needs something to support us and there is no way for him to find a living here with a different language.

I don't really know what to do and what is best... thanks for taking time to read this. your response is greatly appreciated.

[Rahstyles 10]

sERIOUSLY Im shure your husbands like a guy 40 years and up...

The qualifications are like 30000 thousand a year to 40000 a year.. as like as you dont have many dependants..

why is it hard for you to qualify.. cause now im getting worried... i make 48g a year.. and im shure your husband makes more... how is it you need a co sponsor?? Do they check your credit??? Do they see if you have debt?? whats the deal?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Well, how much does he make a year right now? I assume he is currently unemployed if he spent 3-4 months in the Philippines?

How many children do you have? Is it that hard for him to find 1 to 2 jobs that will net let's say $25,000 (I'm assuming you only have one kid)? If he can't make about that, it is going to be difficult for him to support a child and a wife in America. For us, that would even be too little money if we didn't own a home already outright. We couldn't afford rent or a mortgage with that kind of salary.

We've got my mother as a joint sponsor, but if she backed out I would wait out the sale of my house or go and get a job.... I don't think it is her responsibility to sponsor my husband, but she wants us back sooner rather than later so it is her choice.

Edited February 19, 2013 by Nola123

[russ and mary 0]

sERIOUSLY Im shure your husbands like a guy 40 years and up...

The qualifications are like 30000 thousand a year to 40000 a year.. as like as you dont have many dependants..

why is it hard for you to qualify.. cause now im getting worried... i make 48g a year.. and im shure your husband makes more... how is it you need a co sponsor?? Do they check your credit??? Do they see if you have debt?? whats the deal?

thanks for the reply...the deal is he's been out of work for a few years trying to get his mom back on her feet. she had a car accident long time ago... her leg was amputated so he is helping her for a long time. Her mom promise us that she is going to help us with our papers and we will take good care of her. she just didn't really kept her promise...so now we are in the middle in all of this mess.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

The qualifications are like 30000 thousand a year to 40000 a year.. as like as you dont have many dependants..

The income requirements for a household of three is about $24'000, but it sounds like this husband is living abroad with his family, so has no income.

OP: it is a hard choice, we understand that, especially when kids are involved. The easiest would be if your husband moved back and gets a job, especially if he has a reasonable chance of getting a decent job quickly in this economy. But also remember that the co-sponsor can be any US citizen or greencard holder living in the USA, they need not be a close relative. Have your husband reach out to neighbours, old co-workers, college friends, church family...

[Rahstyles 10]

The income requirements for a household of three is about $24'000, but it sounds like this husband is living abroad with his family, so has no income.

OP: it is a hard choice, we understand that, especially when kids are involved. The easiest would be if your husband moved back and gets a job, especially if he has a reasonable chance of getting a decent job quickly in this economy. But also remember that the co-sponsor can be any US citizen or greencard holder living in the USA, they need not be a close relative. Have your husband reach out to neighbours, old co-workers, college friends, church family...

Do you have to have that job for a certin time to concider it ?

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

Do you have to have that job for a certin time to concider it ?

No; as soon as you are officially employer, they CAN consider it. However, most embassies like to see a few paystubs to see you are settled in the job, and most employer may want you to have been in the job a couple of months before writing a letter stating you are a permanent employee in good standing. If you want to play it safe, wait 6 months, but there is nothing to stop you from submitting earlier.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

thanks for the reply...the deal is he's been out of work for a few years trying to get his mom back on her feet. she had a car accident long time ago... her leg was amputated so he is helping her for a long time. Her mom promise us that she is going to help us with our papers and we will take good care of her. she just didn't really kept her promise...so now we are in the middle in all of this mess.

How exactly was your disabled mother in law going to sponsor you? Does she work? Or have an estate worth a load in assets? I was under the impression that disability benefits aren't income but I could be wrong. Sorry, your husband needs to find a job if you want to live in the US. Sponsoring an immigrant is a privilege, not a right. How else can you expect to make ends meet here, especially with a child?

[Cathi 5,748]

How exactly was your disabled mother in law going to sponsor you? Does she work? Or have an estate worth a load in assets? I was under the impression that disability benefits aren't income but I could be wrong. Sorry, your husband needs to find a job if you want to live in the US. Sponsoring an immigrant is a privilege, not a right. How else can you expect to make ends meet here, especially with a child?

SSDI is and can be counted as income,it is not welfare or means tested benefits. it is funded by employees' contributions to the Social Security Trust fund. Many people on this site have used it for income for the affidavit of support.

[gnoumou 0]

hello VJ's,

I'm feeling really hopeless right now regarding our visa. We are having trouble finding a co-sponsor,. No one in my husband's family would want to help us with our case. My husband's mother was suppose to be our co-sponsor but after she broke her hip, she has really been difficult and having all kinds of anxieties. When my husband came back here, his mom couldn't take it. It was like she keep him for years away from us and she's scared of him to go. Recently, she is put into a nursing home and my husband is worried about her being. (it's really kinda a long story to tell and more complicated)

It has been tough for all of us (especially to our daughter growing up without her dad) because we have been away from each other for two years. it has been horrible to be apart for that much time. He came back here Nov. 2012 (this time without his mom) and spent Christmas, new year and valentines day together. Now, Im scared of what is going to happen next, I can't see myself thinking of what my daughter would feel like if her dad will go back home without us. It has been a heartbreak for me from what i can remember. I have genuinely concern for my daughter, i don't want her heart to break. My husband can't stay here for too much time because he needs something to support us and there is no way for him to find a living here with a different language.

I don't really know what to do and what is best... thanks for taking time to read this. your response is greatly appreciated.

[gnoumou 0]

Be strong and brave and especially keep hope

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

SSDI is and can be counted as income,it is not welfare or means tested benefits. it is funded by employees' contributions to the Social Security Trust fund. Many people on this site have used it for income for the affidavit of support.

Good to know thanks Mimo