devastated

[jbjbjb 7]

 my husband has this narcissistic personality disorder. Not sure if I should begin another thread but my situation is that I filed a tro against my husband yesterday after being discharged from hospital as a result of suicidal thoughts from his physical and emotional abuse. He apparently called my friends who took him to be station today. I'm still overwhelmed and devastated so I dont know what to di next. He's only been in US for 2 months and I have applied for jobs everyday trying everything and he does nothing but blame me...behave abusively and childish. He wants to be the man of house but isn't doing anything to accomplish that. I've felt like a prisoner in my own home. He has said if we were in his native Jamaica he would kill me. He constantly makes ongoing problems about nothing and accuses me of cheating or getting back with my ex husband. I feel he has beat me down emotionally. Helpful advice would be appreciated. I'm in a bad place right now and want to restore peace and happiness in my home for my daughter and I.

[jbjbjb 7]

I just found out that he asked a friend if she thinks I will take him back! This is insane...if he is thinking he is the victim here, this makes no sense. Right now my main concerns are my safety and that I don't want to have financial responsibility for him. He ran up over 1000 dollars in phone bills and I have no money for a lawyer. Do I take him off insurance plan? I need some clarity.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I just found out that he asked a friend if she thinks I will take him back! This is insane...if he is thinking he is the victim here, this makes no sense. Right now my main concerns are my safety and that I don't want to have financial responsibility for him. He ran up over 1000 dollars in phone bills and I have no money for a lawyer. Do I take him off insurance plan? I need some clarity.

Is a situation in place whereby your Daughter can go stay with her Dad in the interim?

[jbjbjb 7]

Also ... I go back to court Thurs to seek permanent RO as I'm not sure where he is or what he is capable of with his irrational behavior and anger.Add Reply 

[perfect 39]

I just found out that he asked a friend if she thinks I will take him back! This is insane...if he is thinking he is the victim here, this makes no sense. Right now my main concerns are my safety and that I don't want to have financial responsibility for him. He ran up over 1000 dollars in phone bills and I have no money for a lawyer. Do I take him off insurance plan? I need some clarity.

So sorry for you in this situation. Just know that if he really does suffer NPD you will never, ever have peace, and never ever be off that emotional roller coaster - push and pull. It will destroy you emotionally and physically exhaust you if not worse.

There is some helpful advise and information here if you choose to look at it. http://forum2.aimoo.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER

My husband too suffers this disorder and it's not something easy to live with. Decide your future and act accordingly. Do not tell him what you are planning to do. If possible record any conversations you have with him because in all probability if he follows the usual patterns of behavior he wil say things and then deny saying them or deny that is what he meant. Protect yourself in everything. NPD people will never take responsibility for their actions but always blame the other person so he probably is acting as the victim here and will likely be able to make other people believe he is the victim too. I would cautiously advise you to protect yourself against any VAWA claims.

<Big hugs> - because you will need lots of physical and emotional strength to get through this, whatever you decide to do...

[jbjbjb 7]

Is a situation in place whereby your Daughter can go stay with her Dad in the interim?

No...she just returned today from last week. He has been out since Friday. Her dad lives far and school starts again Tue

[Cathi 5,742]

my husband has this narcissistic personality disorder. Not sure if I should begin another thread but my situation is that I filed a tro against my husband yesterday after being discharged from hospital as a result of suicidal thoughts from his physical and emotional abuse. He apparently called my friends who took him to be station today. I'm still overwhelmed and devastated so I dont know what to di next. He's only been in US for 2 months and I have applied for jobs everyday trying everything and he does nothing but blame me...behave abusively and childish. He wants to be the man of house but isn't doing anything to accomplish that. I've felt like a prisoner in my own home. He has said if we were in his native Jamaica he would kill me. He constantly makes ongoing problems about nothing and accuses me of cheating or getting back with my ex husband. I feel he has beat me down emotionally. Helpful advice would be appreciated. I'm in a bad place right now and want to restore peace and happiness in my home for my daughter and I.

what is tro? and what does took him to be station mean?

[jbjbjb 7]

I have made a harrasment complaint and I was granted a tempo rary restraining order based on facts and photos. He has no basis to file claim against me. Hasn't he broken one of the conditions of his cr1 by commItIng dv

?

Temporary restraining order and the train station. Sorry...still shaking.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

It is usually very hard for a woman raised in the US to wrap their heads around the allowed behavior between a man and woman in 3rd world countries. In many places a husband has a perfect right to beat his wife senseless or kill her and not have the least bit of worry that anyone would even question his actions. When someone from this type of culture immigrates to the US it is sometimes almost unmanageable for them. They see the typical actions of a independant woman to be disrespectfull and have grown up thinking that they should "correct" their spouses behavior. I see this in many Nigerian men some of whom are relucant to bring their Nigerian spouses here because they don't want them to become free thinking. Here in the US we tend to tag this behavior as a mental disorder but in truth it is part of how they were brought up and the values they learned in their native culture.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Your husband has his GC, there is nothing you can do but move on. File for a divorce and let him ROC on his own.

Good luck.

[jbjbjb 7]

What is ROC? Also he has been here only two months and has conditional residence. Getting a divorce costs money and that is one of my problems.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

What is ROC? Also he has been here only two months and has conditional residence. Getting a divorce costs money and that is one of my problems.

You could always start the divorce proceeding yourself and I think in many states for low income and domestic violence victims they will wave the fees.

I did the divorce myself with my abusive ex+husband and it was fairly straight forward.

Just don't take this man back no matter what he says or does. He can blame his culture all day and night, but a good man doesn't do those things no matter how he is raised and you can not make a bad person good.

[Cathi 5,742]

I have made a harrasment complaint and I was granted a tempo rary restraining order based on facts and photos. He has no basis to file claim against me. Hasn't he broken one of the conditions of his cr1 by commItIng dv

?

Temporary restraining order and the train station. Sorry...still shaking.

i am so very sorry

[jbjbjb 7]

I should also add he went to a different state....one way to NYC but I was not told by him....he told my friend that and asked them not to tell me where he went which also makes little sense as I am the one who filed a restraining order against him.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

ROC = Removal Of Conditions.

Filing for a divorce can cost as little as $300 dollars. Move on wih your life if that is what you wish to do.

Edited February 17, 2013 by LIFE'SJOURNEY