Hugging is Harrassment?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

By Rachel Anderson, Utne.com

A controversial trend is creeping across the globe. People are taking to the streets in support of it, or trying to ban it from harming our children. What's the polarizing practice that's making waves around the world? Hugging.

In one corner we have "Juan Mann," the Australian innocent who scrawled "Free Hugs" on a sign and videotaped the results of people pushing aside their personal space needs for some human contact with a stranger. The video was a hit on YouTube, and copycat schemes have cropped up around the country. Writing for the alt weekly City Pages, Jim Walsh explores the motivations of Minneapolis' Hug Brigade, a troupe of embracers sporting the now-notorious "Free Hugs" sign. "I was sitting around thinking 'How can I make a difference?'" says hugger Carrie Rupp. "And I thought, 'I really like giving hugs, and I'm really good at it, so why not just go stand out there and spread some love?'"

Not everyone is comfortable with the hugging lifestyle, though. Writing from Milan for Spot-On, Nicole Martinelli suggests that despite the reputation that "Italians touch a lot," those handshakes and air kisses still leave some space between bodies. Some intrepid Italians have been hitting public spaces with free hugs, leaving Martinelli to speculate that "it just may be awkward hugs all around here, too."

It's not even just a comfort thing. Earlier this month, Chinese police swooped in and detained Shanghai huggers, a fate shared by some Beijing arm-spreaders a few weeks before. Reporting for China Daily, Cao Li writes that these participants were brought into custody for lacking a certificate to organize in a public place. Organizers are pessimistic that the powers that be in China will provide proper documentation for future hugathons. "Why can't we melt the coldness in people's hearts with our hugs?" asked Shanghai organizer Baigu.

Hugging isn't just causing problems in the streets; it's also started affecting schoolchildren. Steven Morris reports in the Guardian on Callington Community College, a school in southwest England, where the headteacher, Steve Kenning, recently asked students not to hug each other anymore. Apparently some youthful hugs have been deemed "inappropriate" and can be excessive to the point of "making youngsters late for lessons." While the penalty for school embraces has not officially been announced, students report that huggers have been "named and shamed" and slapped with detention. Parents and outsiders have been concerned about the problems a hugging ban could cause. "Surely it is better [that] youngsters get the human contact they need innocently," says David Cohen, author of the book Body Language in Relationships, "if you ban it they are far more likely to seek it round the back of the bike sheds." Still, headteacher Kenning is looking out for the "victim" of school huggings and beseeched students on the school's website: "To avoid putting anyone at risk please avoid hugging."

[PlatyPius 5]

If someone came up and hugged me for no reason, I would:

1) Punch them in the face.

2) Check that my wallet was still there.

3) Punch them again.

Stay the hell out of my personal space.

I detest physical contact, except with those I genuinely care about.

[KarenCee 3]

If someone came up and hugged me for no reason, I would:

1) Punch them in the face.

2) Check that my wallet was still there.

3) Punch them again.

Stay the hell out of my personal space.

I detest physical contact, except with those I genuinely care about.

wow.....

[one...two...tree 2,762]

If someone came up and hugged me for no reason, I would:

1) Punch them in the face.

2) Check that my wallet was still there.

3) Punch them again.

Stay the hell out of my personal space.

I detest physical contact, except with those I genuinely care about.

Yeah, the stranger thing is a bit uncomfortable to me, but at places such as churches, people often hug who don't really know each other. It does feel totally different though - a hug from somebody you care about and someone you vaguely know ... I think it's a trust issue as you just pointed out (checking for your wallet).

Edited November 11, 2006 by Steven_and_Jinky

[Mags 112]

Yes, I'd hate some stranger hugging me. Most people smell IMO, I'd hate them to be near me.

Plus it is RUDE.

Hugs between family members and friends is great, can't get enough of them...but a stranger? Sod off!

P.S. I don't think I'd physically punch them though....push them away, say a few harsh words maybe.

Edited November 11, 2006 by mags

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Yes, I'd hate some stranger hugging me. Most people smell IMO, I'd hate them to be near me.

Plus it is RUDE.

Hugs between family members and friends is great, can't get enough of them...but a stranger? Sod off!

P.S. I don't think I'd physically punch them though....push them away, say a few harsh words maybe.

Did you see the Borat movie? I think he really played up on that - one guy literally ran away from him...followed by Borat chasing him down.

[Reba 2]

But are they (these free huggers) acosting people against their will? I dont' think so (except perhaps the school kids, but that's to be expected ) I think its more like, if you want a free hug, come and get it.

And btw, if you want a free hug, come and get it

[LuzyC 0]

If someone came up and hugged me for no reason, I would:

1) Punch them in the face.

2) Check that my wallet was still there.

3) Punch them again.

Stay the hell out of my personal space.

I detest physical contact, except with those I genuinely care about.

wow.....

wow wow..

No way to strangers!

[KarenCee 3]

I'm not sure I'd be too fond of strangers hugging me either, but I guess it's something to do with my Southern upbringing...I don't think I could physically repel them or be rude. My school kids hug me all the time and they aren't family...and I love it. I've very rarely had a stranger just come up and hug me but if I did, I would probably find a congenial way to extricate myself and move away. Please understand, I wasn't brought up to be rude to people....unless they've been rude to me first then look out...all h3ll will break loose and that Southern charm and grace I was brought up with is gone out the window. This is just my opinion though.

[ChristinaM 0]

I agree with Reba - I don't think anyone is forcing hugs on anyone! Just making them available for people who want one. I'll hug anyone for any reason, but I won't hunt them down and force them if they don't want one!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Please understand, I wasn't brought up to be rude to people....unless they've been rude to me first then look out...

[Fandango 1,439]

Not lovin the hug thing either...I'd have to check to make sure I wasn't robbed, lol.

I love hugs...from friends, family members, D. Some friends, we greet each other with a hug and a kiss. Nowt wrong with that.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

wherfe do you sign up for the hug women with big breasts brigade?

Daniel

:energetic:

too fuuny.

[Nizzy 1]

Oh man I hate people who hug. I had to explain the hugging situation here to my husband. Some people feel comfortable reaching in for a hug and I never know how to dodge it so I stand there with my arms to my sides like an idiot. How do you tell someone you're not comfy with it? I knew this guy in college and we went to the same high school, he is a touchy feely person and anytime I would see him I would go the other way or make sure I had something in my hands to keep him at bay (which was easy cause I am a huge coffee drinker so I had my handy cup with me with scalding coffee in it : ) Some people like this form of greeting but I reserve my hugs for special occasions and ofcourse for my sweety!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

wherfe do you sign up for the hug women with big breasts brigade?

Daniel

:energetic:

too fuuny.

...just keep your eyes straight forward or you'll blow it.