The Rant

[oohpartiv 484]

My ex is an idiot who has yet to figure at 42 that life cannot be last minute.

Sometimes I worry my husband is the same but at 28 still has time to learn.

Either that or I'm a total stick in the mud and completely not spontaneous.

I get into this argument with my hubby a lot. He procrastinates a lot when I need something done - I broke the handle off of my coffee mug on Saturday, for example, and despite several pleads that he fix it for me it's yet to get done - but when it comes to spending money he's up for it right away. The Ecuadorian national team played against Paraguay yesterday, and he decided about an hour before the game that he wanted to invite people over and cook a big lunch. Helloooo?! Those kinds of ideas are things you actually PLAN.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

My ex is an idiot who has yet to figure at 42 that life cannot be last minute.

Sometimes I worry my husband is the same but at 28 still has time to learn.

Either that or I'm a total stick in the mud and completely not spontaneous.

My husband is 27 and he has always been a planner. I think it is a personality trait that you either have or don't. We are both kind of the same with color coded charts and lists and things. He had the budget for Denmark and us living here done in May for the entire year and completely color coded with every single last expected expense, down to the laundry and once a year TV license. He views it as his responsibility to provide for us, so planning for the future is part of that.

There are things that he needs prodding with, but in general once you've prodded he'll do it.

Personally, I think it is a good trait to be a planner.

[Caryh 5,206]

My ex is an idiot who has yet to figure at 42 that life cannot be last minute.

Sometimes I worry my husband is the same but at 28 still has time to learn.

Either that or I'm a total stick in the mud and completely not spontaneous.

Door number 3

Seriously, don't expect a man at age 28 to change his pattern of behavior. You'll just open yourself up to serious frustration.

Which reminds me of a saying,

A man marries a woman expecting she won't change.

A woman marries a man expecting to change him.

Both end up disappointed

[Calypso 464]

My husband and I went out for a five-course dinner last night with one of his officemates. A Latina in the restaurant bought my husband three different drinks. I didn't mind. Today he took the bus since he works only five miles from home. Now he is on Skype with me telling me that he lost his wallet and he wants me to contact the Metro bus. His wallet has all his cards and iPhone 5.

[oohpartiv 484]

Sometimes I feel like having a husband is like having a toddler. He requires constant affection (he even gets jealous if I'm on the computer too long and whines for me to "give him more attention"), I have to constantly remind him to do things around the house (like pick up his clothes), he constantly misplaces his things, and I always put him down for a nap after lunchtime, or he gets grouchy in the afternoon from being tired. At least he's potty trained.

Edited March 27, 2013 by oohpartiv

[NikLR 13,227]

Door number 3

Seriously, don't expect a man at age 28 to change his pattern of behavior. You'll just open yourself up to serious frustration.

Which reminds me of a saying,

A man marries a woman expecting she won't change.

A woman marries a man expecting to change him.

Both end up disappointed

To be honest... I never expect my husband to change and nor do I want to change him. He is who he is. I do, however, think he feels I've changed. Personally I think it's just stress... It's hard to be outgoing and fun when you have so much on your plate with all the immigration stuff. Combined with the stress of moving and leaving my daughter here, I'm a Debbie downer lately. I'd not want to be around me either.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Sometimes I feel like having a husband is like having a toddler. He requires constant affection (he even gets jealous if I'm on the computer too long and whines for me to "give him more attention"), I have to constantly remind him to do things around the house (like pick up his clothes), he constantly misplaces his things, and I always put him down for a nap after lunchtime, or he gets grouchy in the afternoon from being tired. At least he's potty trained.

Here is how nighttime goes around here "Little one, time to brush your teeth!", an hour later, "husband, time to brush your teeth!"

To be honest... I never expect my husband to change and nor do I want to change him. He is who he is. I do, however, think he feels I've changed. Personally I think it's just stress... It's hard to be outgoing and fun when you have so much on your plate with all the immigration stuff. Combined with the stress of moving and leaving my daughter here, I'm a Debbie downer lately. I'd not want to be around me either.

If I were in your shoes I'd be starting to feel some resentment and expecting it to grow. I was pretty resentful about moving to Denmark and I got to take my daughter with me. Frankly, with how I felt about living here had we not filed to move back to America, our marriage wouldn't have withstood the year. I don't know if you can gauge how it will be before you move, but my resentment levels amplified by an unspeakable amount after I did. Things that would not normally bother me just filled me with this rage for being sort of stuck in this place that I didn't even want to live in.

Sorry if I am prying, but what was the reason he couldn't move to Canada?

[Caryh 5,206]

To be honest... I never expect my husband to change and nor do I want to change him. He is who he is. I do, however, think he feels I've changed. Personally I think it's just stress... It's hard to be outgoing and fun when you have so much on your plate with all the immigration stuff. Combined with the stress of moving and leaving my daughter here, I'm a Debbie downer lately. I'd not want to be around me either.

(F) (F) The stress of immigration is a downer. I can't imagine what you're going through leaving your daughter behind. Never been through that. I've just had the separation caused by divorce from my daughters. Got over and accepted that long ago. One is an adult now, the other still comes over and stays, but doesn't really talk and hides in her bedroom all the time. At almost 16, I'm just glad she still wants to come over.

[Novembro 1,763]

Husband is here, so that's fantastic...BUT:

He got a message this morning from one of his Brit friends that he met in Korea. The friend wifed up some American chick a month or so ago and he was always asking Alistair about the process for the visa, etc. The message read "hey mate just got through part one and passed my medical! On to the interview!".

Expedited visa are bullsh*t.

We still have yet to receive an noa2.

I won't share in your happiness, friend. I just won't.

[oohpartiv 484]

If I were in your shoes I'd be starting to feel some resentment and expecting it to grow. I was pretty resentful about moving to Denmark and I got to take my daughter with me. Frankly, with how I felt about living here had we not filed to move back to America, our marriage wouldn't have withstood the year. I don't know if you can gauge how it will be before you move, but my resentment levels amplified by an unspeakable amount after I did. Things that would not normally bother me just filled me with this rage for being sort of stuck in this place that I didn't even want to live in.

Sorry if I am prying, but what was the reason he couldn't move to Canada?

That's me right now. I have been very on edge lately, and super moody, and things that normally wouldn't bug me really piss me off for no reason. I also find myself constantly picking fights with the hubs for really stupid things, but luckily he's quite understanding and leaves me to my grouchy self if I'm in a mood, or he'll sit down and talk to me, which usually ends up in me bawling. I'm just glad we're leaving soon, because I hate the detestable person I've been lately, and if we were to stay here I'm not sure how our marriage would go.

Niki, from a daughter whose mother moved far away at a young age, I think it will be okay. Maybe not at first (I was very angry with my mother at first, but then again, I was pretty young), but it will get better. After a year or so, I actually like the fact that my Mom lived farther away, because it gave me an excuse to go on trips to go visit her. I think it helped, too, that my Mom tried really hard to keep our relationship stable - she called all the time, or would send me things out of the blue which was always a nice treat. Little things like that really go a long way! It make me realize she missed and loved me just as much as I did.

Husband is here, so that's fantastic...BUT:

He got a message this morning from one of his Brit friends that he met in Korea. The friend wifed up some American chick a month or so ago and he was always asking Alistair about the process for the visa, etc. The message read "hey mate just got through part one and passed my medical! On to the interview!".

Expedited visa are bullsh*t.

We still have yet to receive an noa2.

I won't share in your happiness, friend. I just won't.

This happened to us, too. A friend of ours married an American girl nearly a year after we got married, sailed through the visa process, and has been in the States since Christmas. Bitter/jealous just doesn't cover it.

[Darnell 8,478]

The friend wifed up some American chick a month or so ago

Woo Hoo !

My rant for the afternoon.

I absolutely loathe, nay, HATE, Brits that 'wife up' Innocuous American Wymens .

It really torques my torque !!!!!

Ok.. end of rant for the moment.

[Novembro 1,763]

This happened to us, too. A friend of ours married an American girl nearly a year after we got married, sailed through the visa process, and has been in the States since Christmas. Bitter/jealous just doesn't cover it.

Pretty much.

Husband almost got turned away from entering the states last week. The immigration "official" told him he better speed up his visa process. OH OKAY HOLD ON WHILE I PHONE UP USCIS AND ASK THEM TO PICK UP THE PACE, BRO. He also told him not to come back until the visa was sorted. How these people live with themselves I'll never know.

[Darnell 8,478]

At least he's potty trained.

Yes, but is he 'potty-reliable' ?

To test this, make a batch of exlax-imbued brownies, give half to him, half to his mother.

Report back after both are empty (should be about 3 days...)

[oohpartiv 484]

Yes, but is he 'potty-reliable' ?

To test this, make a batch of exlax-imbued brownies, give half to him, half to his mother.

Report back after both are empty (should be about 3 days...)

While this idea intrigues me, I wouldn't go near that kitchen with a six foot pole.

Husband almost got turned away from entering the states last week. The immigration "official" told him he better speed up his visa process. OH OKAY HOLD ON WHILE I PHONE UP USCIS AND ASK THEM TO PICK UP THE PACE, BRO. He also told him not to come back until the visa was sorted. How these people live with themselves I'll never know.

You'd think they would know how their own immigration process works, being that they work in "immigration".

[Darnell 8,478]

While this idea intrigues me, I wouldn't go near that kitchen with a six foot pole.

there are other kitchens, nearby. You really should avail yerself since they are nearby.