The Rant

[Caryh 5,206]

Husband wants me to go furniture shopping. I don't want to! I'd rather have more space to move around the house by not having furniture and use the money for frequent vacation outside the country.

Hmmm I had a very wide open house before my wife arrived here and started dragging me through furniture stores. I do love our new over sized furniture though. And my old furniture was getting pretty used looking. I had bought it used 10 years ago, so it served me well.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Husband wants me to go furniture shopping. I don't want to! I'd rather have more space to move around the house by not having furniture and use the money for frequent vacation outside the country.

Come live at our house - it is really bare of furniture. More furniture = more stuff to dust.

[Cathi 5,742]

Niki, I hope you didn't think I was judging or anything. Everyone has their battles to go through in relationships. My first marriage and my second one are so different than most people's that I have no idea how most people run their marriages. My husband is 27 and I was his first girlfriend and first partner of more than maybe a few nights, he's my third. I do find being in person more challenging than long distance because there is no cooling off period and issues are always right there in your face.

:thumbs:

It has been 5 weeks, should I contact my senator?

give it another week,if you don't have it by then be sure to email the White House ASAP

[Calypso 464]

I've spent a fair amount of time in the provinces. Just always in cement houses. You can't scare me about the Philippines, unless its about going to the wrong parts of Mindanao. I've been there so much my friends there declared I was no longer a Kano but now a Kanoy, because I live and act Pinoy there. I knew my wife for 8 years before she moved here and we got married. Had to promise we'd move back there one day or she wasn't coming lol.

Made one friend there who keeps wanting to take me out boar hunting in his home village. If it wasn't in the Moro autonomous region, I'd probably take him up on it.

I sent you a PM as a continuation of the Philippine topic, because if I posted it here, some people might find it disturbing.

[Calypso 464]

Hmmm I had a very wide open house before my wife arrived here and started dragging me through furniture stores. I do love our new over sized furniture though. And my old furniture was getting pretty used looking. I had bought it used 10 years ago, so it served me well.

Come live at our house - it is really bare of furniture. More furniture = more stuff to dust.

I don't like to go around shopping in brick and mortar businesses. I don't like jewelry and furniture. I don't even mind if my husband and I would not buy a house of our own at some point as long as I get to travel to different continents with him, and hopefully with our kids. It is good to establish a good base to call home but I also want to travel more and then return home.

[Caryh 5,206]

Come live at our house - it is really bare of furniture. More furniture = more stuff to dust.

Dusting is my wife's department. I haven't had to dust since she arrived. Don't get me wrong though, I do laundry, cook, vacuum, wash dishes, scrub bathrooms, electrical, plumbing, carpentry, and I even do windows. Its just my wife gets out the duster before I can even see any dust.

[Caryh 5,206]

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I sent you a PM as a continuation of the Philippine topic, because if I posted it here, some people might find it disturbing.

I think they could handle it easy enough. Not everyone one is North American or European here. Even many of those have traveled enough to know the realities of the world. I get a kick out of the CR's for Buddhist monks you see in Asia

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Dusting is my wife's department. I haven't had to dust since she arrived. Don't get me wrong though, I do laundry, cook, vacuum, wash dishes, scrub bathrooms, electrical, plumbing, carpentry, and I even do windows. Its just my wife gets out the duster before I can even see any dust.

There is something weird about DK, Germany, and Sweden that I never noticed in America - dust. I have no idea why there is so much dust. I'll dust and 24 hours later it looks like no one has dusted in weeks (I used wet dusting to keep the airborne particles down). Even in the really nice hotels, it is dusty, but like a light linty dust. I don't get it, but it drives me nuts.

My husband doesn't clean bathrooms and I do mean ever, even when living alone. He has no idea what goes into it. He has also not done his own laundry. If I'm really sick or busy with schoolwork, he'll do dishes. If I'm dying he'll do some laundry or maybe wipe down the kitchen counters. Anything beyond that is asking way too much.

He is handy and did attend school for carpentry before doing his current career where he does a little of everything in apartments and the grounds, so at least I don't have to do that any more.

_____

Turns out that my husband did damage his mother's car in that little falling asleep incident. We couldn't see it because the car was so dirty, but he cracked her bumper. I was surprised it was worse because he went into a snow back and hit one of those markers on the side of the road. She was pissed that he didn't tell her, but really he didn't know that there was any damage and was so tired last night.

Edited March 22, 2013 by Nola123

[NikLR 13,227]

OMG does this sound familiar. My wife is afraid of the same thing, very very afraid and it comes out as jealousy. It was not this way when she lived in her home country though. Well she was jealous, some waitress in her country was apparently flirting with me one time, I didn't notice until afterwards when I was in trouble for it

Don't expect an unreasonable emotional response to fear to get better by being closer. It might even get worse when he's faced with your ex. All you can do is keep working to reassure them the fear is unfounded, and your love is only for your spouse.

I think it will get better because my ex will be here and I will be there. There will be less interacttion.

[Caryh 5,206]

There is something weird about DK, Germany, and Sweden that I never noticed in America - dust. I have no idea why there is so much dust. I'll dust and 24 hours later it looks like no one has dusted in weeks (I used wet dusting to keep the airborne particles down). Even in the really nice hotels, it is dusty, but like a light linty dust. I don't get it, but it drives me nuts.

My husband doesn't clean bathrooms and I do mean ever, even when living alone. He has no idea what goes into it. He has also not done his own laundry. If I'm really sick or busy with schoolwork, he'll do dishes. If I'm dying he'll do some laundry or maybe wipe down the kitchen counters. Anything beyond that is asking way too much.

He is handy and did attend school for carpentry before doing his current career where he does a little of everything in apartments and the grounds, so at least I don't have to do that any more.

_____

Turns out that my husband did damage his mother's car in that little falling asleep incident. We couldn't see it because the car was so dirty, but he cracked her bumper. I was surprised it was worse because he went into a snow back and hit one of those markers on the side of the road. She was pissed that he didn't tell her, but really he didn't know that there was any damage and was so tired last night.

Sounds like the handyman part of your husband has to do a little work on his mother's go-cart, I mean car.

Both my wife and I like a clean and neat place. We tend to pitch in together to make sure it stays the way we like it. Each of us is better at some things than the other, whoever is better kind of takes charge in that area. She does the majority of certain things, and I do the majority of others. It works out in the end, and we're happy with the arrangement. The way I look at it, now I've got a partner to get everything done I used to do by myself.

I used to live off a dirt road for a number of years. Now that was a place that constantly needed dusting.

[oohpartiv 484]

RANT: The self righteous moron that is my BIL just got into a shouting match with my hubby (or rather, BIL shouted and hubby stared at him) because hubby did him a favor, but BIL didn't like the way he did it. He actually said "if you're going to do such half a$$ed favors, don't accept doing them at all!" DO THEM YOURSELF THEN, DOOFUS.

[NikLR 13,227]

Niki, I hope you didn't think I was judging or anything. Everyone has their battles to go through in relationships. My first marriage and my second one are so different than most people's that I have no idea how most people run their marriages. My husband is 27 and I was his first girlfriend and first partner of more than maybe a few nights, he's my third. I do find being in person more challenging than long distance because there is no cooling off period and issues are always right there in your face.

No I get what you're saying. It doesn't upset me. What upsets me now is we're still not really talking. I'm trying to work around not talking to my ex and after a stupid text about cheese buns I packed for my daughter for lunch today, I need to revamp the "we're trying to be civil not friends." It's hard sometimes for both of us, we were in a relationship for 9.5 years. Without the relationship issues getting in the way it's easier to be friendly. Sigh. /headdesk

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Sounds like the handyman part of your husband has to do a little work on his mother's go-cart, I mean car.

Both my wife and I like a clean and neat place. We tend to pitch in together to make sure it stays the way we like it. Each of us is better at some things than the other, whoever is better kind of takes charge in that area. She does the majority of certain things, and I do the majority of others. It works out in the end, and we're happy with the arrangement. The way I look at it, now I've got a partner to get everything done I used to do by myself.

I used to live off a dirt road for a number of years. Now that was a place that constantly needed dusting.

Thats sounds pretty fair.

I hope we don't have to pay to fix that car. It is such a POS.

No I get what you're saying. It doesn't upset me. What upsets me now is we're still not really talking. I'm trying to work around not talking to my ex and after a stupid text about cheese buns I packed for my daughter for lunch today, I need to revamp the "we're trying to be civil not friends." It's hard sometimes for both of us, we were in a relationship for 9.5 years. Without the relationship issues getting in the way it's easier to be friendly. Sigh. /headdesk

I suppose that is up to the people in the relationship to decide where those limits are. Personally, I see no problem in being friends with exes as long as that is where it stays.

______

I'm in a grumpy mood. I know my husband doesn't feel this way, but I keep feeling like I am taking him away from his life here. I'm trying my best to figure out how to accommodate him and make him happy in America, but this whole process just hurts.

[NikLR 13,227]

To be honest Nola, I wouldn't be his friend or talk to him of we didn't have a kid together. So I suppose I should act like that, but be civil because of her.

[Caryh 5,206]

To be honest Nola, I wouldn't be his friend or talk to him of we didn't have a kid together. So I suppose I should act like that, but be civil because of her.

That was my opinion with my ex when we split. She tried to be all we can be friends, but I shortly learned that was not a good idea. She wasn't the type of person I wanted as a friend. Being civil and polite was all that was required.