The Rant

[oohpartiv 484]

I hate that I am an oversharer.

*headdesk*

I am, too. Let's just pretend like we don't do it. Usually I say something without realizing it's probably something personal, and then feel like a moron afterwards.

Steve, I would definitely take a step back and a deep breath. I know how this looks from your end of things, but if you love her like you seem to, it's worth taking some time to calm down. Many times my husband has gotten angry about something, and in the heat of the moment said hurtful things that he later regretted very much, mostly because they can't be undone and although I love him very much, I won't (can't) forget them. And, if I'm being honest, if my husband got into an argument with me a few days before my first trip home in 12 years, and asked me if I would skip it for him, I can't say that I would. Personally, I think it's a little unfair to ask that - she hasn't seen her family in TWELVE YEARS. I think it's pretty obvious who she chose. Don't take this the wrong way - I'm not trying to make you out to be the bad guy, at ALL, especially since you know I agree that giving your SIL that money would've been ridiculous - but since she has agreed to not give it away, why continue the argument? She's not going to change how she feels overnight. And, you know, maybe a trip home for her would be a learning experience, where she could see for herself just how much her siblings have changed in the time she's been gone.

All I know is, if I were in the same situation, I would feel betrayed by my husband for even considering not going home with me after so long, just like you feel betrayed by Tiff not wanting to give it up for you. It's a catch 22 situation, and somebody is going to have to be a little more understanding if it's going to work out. I hope you guys can patch things up.

Edited March 11, 2013 by oohpartiv

[MeredythB 38]

This is yet more astoundingly bad timing to be coming on here and whingeing about my own issues. Steve, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of this right now, especially so close to your trip-that-might-be. In many ways, however, I do agree with what oopartiv has said. Twelve years is a long time. I hope that you and Tiff find your happy place again and that that place is somewhere where the two of you are a family with your baby girl.

I am so screamingly p*ssed off with NVC right now I can't believe it. I have actually frightened The Hubs with my rage, and we are talking about a man who played university-level rugby. He could squish me without breaking a sweat, not that he ever would. Some moron has just issued us a checklist...for not including our Irish police certificate. It's in there. In fact, the service rep I spoke to was able to describe it for me. DOES IT HAVE TO EFFIN' SAY POLICE ON IT TO BE A POLICE CERT?! NO, YOU IMBECILE!

Nola has already had to see me b*tch about this in the March NVC thread. Sorry about my double-dipping. But I'd been hoping to get into the April interview queue.

####. F********CK. F*CKETY-####.

[oohpartiv 484]

I am so screamingly p*ssed off with NVC right now I can't believe it. I have actually frightened The Hubs with my rage, and we are talking about a man who played university-level rugby. He could squish me without breaking a sweat, not that he ever would. Some moron has just issued us a checklist...for not including our Irish police certificate. It's in there. In fact, the service rep I spoke to was able to describe it for me. DOES IT HAVE TO EFFIN' SAY POLICE ON IT TO BE A POLICE CERT?! NO, YOU IMBECILE!

Nola has already had to see me b*tch about this in the March NVC thread. Sorry about my double-dipping. But I'd been hoping to get into the April interview queue.

####. F********CK. F*CKETY-####.

That's understandable. I find waiting for an interview infinitly more difficult than wait for NOA2. I REALLY want an April interview, and I just got case complete last Tuesday so I'm hoping there's still some hope for us. Fingers crossed.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I'll take the double dip. It is rant worthy. I remember when we found out about the error they made with our case. I think it is the first time I've drank alcohol in a very long time and I went and got myself all tipsy. That is when you know you are beyond angry and just resigned to drown the issue.

Worst come to worst, you can just email the embassy and ask for an earlier interview date. I don't get the NVC scheduling at all, because even as of last week, Stockholm had lots of March interviews open, but yet it seems the NVC will only schedule for April because it is the next month? Weird.

[NikLR 13,227]

My husband is annoyed at me most of the time these days. I'm scared he doesn't want to be with me anymore. :'(

[SAT 9,609]

Don't take what is said in a moment of anger or upset as being her true feelings.

The other day I spoke too soon when I said we hadn't had a big argument yet. Last night my husband said something to me that I thought for sure I was going to divorce him over and was the worst thing anyone has every said to me. He told me to give up on school if I hated it so much after I've struggled so much to get to this point. I was furious...I even threw a plate and he was crying and I was crying and he was sure that I meant that that was that.

I had some time to think it over.

Then, I decided that the real reason that I was upset was because he was partially right and I didn't want to admit it to myself.

Now, who knows how long it will take your wife to come to the conclusion that you are right about her family. She is lashing out right now because she can't admit it to herself, perhaps you need to give her some time to accept that you are right.

You know what? You're right Nola. You're pretty smart for someone that's failing school..........(I'm just kidding) (you're not smart at all) (OK, I was kidding again).........

[SAT 9,609]

I'd see it as an ultimatum. Particularly with what you two have been going thru lately. Answer this, if you had a heart attack tonight, do you think she'd be making the trip?

You're right too professor. But despite what you said, I finally phrased the question to Tiff in the form of an ultimatum.

Q- will you still go on this trip if we will get a divorce when you return?

A- No

That makes me feel a little better.

[NikLR 13,227]

I may also just be overly emotional. He did seem happy to see me this morning. But annoyed by afternoon?

[SAT 9,609]

This is yet more astoundingly bad timing to be coming on here and whingeing about my own issues. Steve, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of this right now, especially so close to your trip-that-might-be. In many ways, however, I do agree with what oopartiv has said. Twelve years is a long time. I hope that you and Tiff find your happy place again and that that place is somewhere where the two of you are a family with your baby girl.

I am so screamingly p*ssed off with NVC right now I can't believe it. I have actually frightened The Hubs with my rage, and we are talking about a man who played university-level rugby. He could squish me without breaking a sweat, not that he ever would. Some moron has just issued us a checklist...for not including our Irish police certificate. It's in there. In fact, the service rep I spoke to was able to describe it for me. DOES IT HAVE TO EFFIN' SAY POLICE ON IT TO BE A POLICE CERT?! NO, YOU IMBECILE!

Nola has already had to see me b*tch about this in the March NVC thread. Sorry about my double-dipping. But I'd been hoping to get into the April interview queue.

####. F********CK. F*CKETY-####.

The rant is for everyone. There's no bad timing here. (Except when KDH is b1tchin about her butt sitting on a hard cushion, perhaps she should eat and get a fat cushiony butt)

I am, too. Let's just pretend like we don't do it. Usually I say something without realizing it's probably something personal, and then feel like a moron afterwards.

Steve, I would definitely take a step back and a deep breath. I know how this looks from your end of things, but if you love her like you seem to, it's worth taking some time to calm down. Many times my husband has gotten angry about something, and in the heat of the moment said hurtful things that he later regretted very much, mostly because they can't be undone and although I love him very much, I won't (can't) forget them. And, if I'm being honest, if my husband got into an argument with me a few days before my first trip home in 12 years, and asked me if I would skip it for him, I can't say that I would. Personally, I think it's a little unfair to ask that - she hasn't seen her family in TWELVE YEARS. I think it's pretty obvious who she chose. Don't take this the wrong way - I'm not trying to make you out to be the bad guy, at ALL, especially since you know I agree that giving your SIL that money would've been ridiculous - but since she has agreed to not give it away, why continue the argument? She's not going to change how she feels overnight. And, you know, maybe a trip home for her would be a learning experience, where she could see for herself just how much her siblings have changed in the time she's been gone.

All I know is, if I were in the same situation, I would feel betrayed by my husband for even considering not going home with me after so long, just like you feel betrayed by Tiff not wanting to give it up for you. It's a catch 22 situation, and somebody is going to have to be a little more understanding if it's going to work out. I hope you guys can patch things up.

You're right too Part4, but it makes me feel a little better when I gave her the question in the ultimatum form. And got the answer I needed to hear.

Because God knows that I would do anything for her.

[SAT 9,609]

My husband is annoyed at me most of the time these days. I'm scared he doesn't want to be with me anymore. :'(

Niki stop talking non-sense. My wife thinks the same thing you do, and I love her more than anything. And I was scared to death today thinking I was going to lose her based on my principles.

I even told her that my GFs don't mean anything to me........(I was J/K) (My GFs do mean something) ( I was J/K again).......

[SAT 9,609]

I bought my husband irish spring soap for the first time.

It was on sale.

It was an anti blemish one

AND HES BREAKING OUT ALL OVER #######!

I really hope this thread isn't turning into the demise of your marriage.

That wouldn't be cool.

Sorry to be so blunt, but these sound like serious issues.

Awkwwaaaaarrrd.

And I don't mean it wouldn't be cool for you to talk about it, I meant it wouldn't be cool if that's what what happened to your marriage

I'm very glad that you guys are here to give me an outsider's perspective. Usually, the "outsider looking in" is pretty accurate.

BTW I'm allergic to Irish spring, and most deodorant soaps.

Edited March 11, 2013 by SteveAndTiff

[MeredythB 38]

Niki stop talking non-sense. My wife thinks the same thing you do, and I love her more than anything. And I was scared to death today thinking I was going to lose her based on my principles.

I even told her that my GFs don't mean anything to me........(I was J/K) (My GFs do mean something) ( I was J/K again).......

Quite honestly, as long as the GFs are just for frantic, anonymous sex, I can't really see how they'd be an issue....assuming all parties can enjoy F, AS with a secondary (or tertiary, or...whatever fourth[ary] might be) partner.

[SAT 9,609]

Blood is thicker than water.. No matter how a loving husband you are, she still needs her own family that she could fall back on, should anything happens (backup plan)

You can't expect her to just cut off her family / kinship ties in Malaysia.

I feel that you should still accompany your wife & kid back to Malaysia. Be prepared for snide remarks being hurled at you or even your wife.

Let your wife sees the truth for herself in person that her family members are not what she thinks or used to be anymore.

I'm going to go over there to start the longest distance domestic dispute on record........

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I'm very glad that you guys are here to give me an outsider's perspective. Usually, the "outsider looking in" is pretty accurate.

BTW I'm allergic to Irish spring, and most deodorant soaps.

I hate Irish Spring.

I like Axe on a man.

______

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/pornstars_before_and_after_their_sabtH7bHSkybDhKHqhbwGN?photo_num=1

^83 Porn stars before and after their makeup (safe for work - it is just the face)

This is a good indication I need to start wearing eye liner and lip gloss again. Not that I want to look like a porn star, oh who am I kidding, I do.

Edited March 11, 2013 by Nola123

[SAT 9,609]

I like Axe on a man.

Cary, see? what was I just saying?

Quite honestly, as long as the GFs are just for frantic, anonymous sex, I can't really see how they'd be an issue....assuming all parties can enjoy F, AS with a secondary (or tertiary, or...whatever fourth[ary] might be) partner.