The Rant

[SAT 9,609]

I guess that's why I'm up in the loft blogging instead of laying in bed watching TV.......

[NikLR 13,227]

I'm kinda upset at my wife now.........her sis in Malaysia apparently marries a well to do guy, and they bought a house costing about 200K USD. And her sis asked my wife to borrow money for renovations, and so my wife is lending them about 15K USD (Malaysian standards, that's doing the whole house over)..........

Now my wife has her own $. But I wouldn't buy a house just to have to borrow from someone else to renovate. The principle is wrong. And my wife should realize her obligation to her own immediate family before her sister's house. Now I don't ever ask my wife to contribute to anything in our household, I have everything covered. But I can't help but feel a little insulted. I told Tiff that we're not rich. And that we could use the savings. I find myself using my utmost restraint in really laying into her about this. The money is being lent for the wrong reasons.

And we're going there for the wedding. With travel, and gifts for the whole family. This trip is gonna run us about 15-20K already.

So I asked her "What's more important to you? your sister's house or our daughter's future education". She had a hard time answering that. (I was in disbelief). Tiff is a very nice person. But sometimes she's out of her mind......

what do you guys think?

I have to agree with you. I honestly would give my family a place to live and food to eat if they needed it. But I wouldn't lend them money to renovate a house. Maybe to do an emergency fix, but not renovate.

[SAT 9,609]

I have to agree with you. I honestly would give my family a place to live and food to eat if they needed it. But I wouldn't lend them money to renovate a house. Maybe to do an emergency fix, but not renovate.

yea, especially if they could have bought a more modest house and saved some money for renovations. They're 28 years old, and want to live in luxury. A 200K house in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia is somewhat the equivalent of a 1 million dollar house in NYC. (To give you a clearer picture).

it really bothers the ####### outta me Niki.......

and then Tiff will do it again for the other 2 siblings remaining?

We do pretty well over here, but how far are we gonna stretch it?

[NikLR 13,227]

I had a huge spiel written up about how they sound like my ex best friend and her husband...

but anyhow.. yes people need to learn to do things by degrees. Falling flat on their face is one way to learn. Giving them money is not.

Perhaps let her know how much you know she loves her family. You know they're important to her. But SHE and your daughter are YOUR family. You always need to look out for you guys first. This is not a small chunk of change she wants to give. It's half over half of what I make in a year.

It's not your job to make sure her siblings live well. If they NEED help they can have it, but this is not a need. This is a want. It's entirely different.

Edited March 8, 2013 by NikiR

[TBoneTX 44,834]

I have to get rid of an entire apartment's worth of stuff before we leave in May.

Drive to Guayaquil. Before you stop the car, they'll mug you and steal the furniture. Problem solved, see man.

[TBoneTX 44,834]

Just spent an hour reading reviews about our consulate, yet again scaring myself stupid. Despite our exhuberant preparation and the reassurance of other Ecua-filers, I am extremely nervous, and we don't even have the interview date yet.

BWAAAA-hahaha! Velcome to Hellaquil, si man. Ve vent troo dis zo YOU vouldn't haff to, no mann.

[TBoneTX 44,834]

"Why should I?"

yes, that is my question, and my answer. Why should I search, when I can do "the search without the search" ? There are millions of people too eager to answer whatever questions I have to ask

VJ is a giant human-powered search engine

Say anything about this in the K-1 forum and they'll mug your mouth.

Oh man ........I wanted to be the 1653rd poster........

This is the VJ Post of the Year so far, si man, but it's not even Columbus Day yet, no man.

"I'm eating the next thing that comes out of that chickens azz"

I once visited a small burg in West Texas where, on a particularly windy day, the town chicken laid the same egg four times, si man.

everything tastes like chicken.

I personally liken it more to Bald Eagle, si man. Edited March 8, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 44,834]

Maybe to do an emergency fix

Wouldn't you be in danger of contributing to the delinquency of a drug-addict, huh man?

[NikLR 13,227]

Wouldn't you be in danger of contributing to the delinquency of a drug-addict, huh man?

No siree bob... Simply "hey my hot water heater just blew up and I need 1k for a plumber... I promise to pay you back" that kind of thing.

Basically I know my family well enough that they'd have to be damn near on the street to ask for anything. I'm the same way.

Edited March 8, 2013 by NikiR

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

yea, especially if they could have bought a more modest house and saved some money for renovations. They're 28 years old, and want to live in luxury. A 200K house in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia is somewhat the equivalent of a 1 million dollar house in NYC. (To give you a clearer picture).

it really bothers the ####### outta me Niki.......

and then Tiff will do it again for the other 2 siblings remaining?

We do pretty well over here, but how far are we gonna stretch it?

That's unbelievable. My mother and biological father used to send money back to England to help support my grandma, aunt, and cousin (and even bought one of them a car). They never paid back the favor and despite all the gifts for birthdays over the years, my aunt and cousin never sent anything to my daughter, not even a card. I remember once going over there and hearing her say "Oh its ok that they pay for everything because they are rich." Mind you, my mother had not even been able to put food on the table 8 years before and is far from "rich". Ridiculous.

Oh, they managed to weasel their way into America too. They waited it out until they would find an American gullible enough to bring them over.

The only person I would consider giving money to is my mother because she has given so much to me over the years, but I know she would never ask unless it was an urgent need. I highly doubt it would come up because she is really careful with her money.

I guess I'm just glad that my husband and I are equally prudent with money.

Edited March 8, 2013 by Nola123

[fcat 79]

The application says they only accept the payment in Pounds. I wonder if the Travelex exchange center at the airport could help me out...

Did you not see my reply in the thread you stated about this ?

[MeredythB 38]

(I know, but I like to make things up)

There are stories that say it was Cleopatra. Apparently, she had the idea to fill a hollow gourd with bees and, uh.........

Anthropology minors know weird isht.

[Caryh 5,206]

I'm kinda upset at my wife now.........her sis in Malaysia apparently marries a well to do guy, and they bought a house costing about 200K USD. And her sis asked my wife to borrow money for renovations, and so my wife is lending them about 15K USD (Malaysian standards, that's doing the whole house over)..........

Now my wife has her own $$. But I wouldn't buy a house just to have to borrow from someone else to renovate. The principle is wrong. And my wife should realize her obligation to her own immediate family before her sister's house. Now I don't ever ask my wife to contribute to anything in our household, I have everything covered. But I can't help but feel a little insulted. I told Tiff that we're not rich. And that we could use the savings. I find myself using my utmost restraint in really laying into her about this. The money is being lent for the wrong reasons.

And we're going there for the wedding. With travel, and gifts for the whole family. This trip is gonna run us about 15-20K already.

So I asked her "What's more important to you? your sister's house or our daughter's future education". She had a hard time answering that. (I was in disbelief). Tiff is a very nice person. But sometimes she's out of her mind......

what do you guys think?

sounds like you need to call USCIS and have her deported for fraud. I'll be awaiting your posting in major family changes soon.

Truly I don't understand this at all. if her husband is so well off, why do they need to borrow from family? I hope this isn't like a Philippines family loan, also known as a gift.

But you really can't complain too much. If the money is handled the way you say, it was Tiff's money to blow. You cover the expenses and you daughters education is an expense, so of course Tiff need not worry about it. or at least I'm guessing this is how Tiff saw it.

[Caryh 5,206]

which brings me to my next subject........

I would never say to my friend "hey lend me a dollar?" or even "Hey lend me a 20?"

I always say "Hey Jim gimme a dollar", or "Hey Jim gimme ten bucks"

why? Because that's my friend, and I'm not ever going to pay him back (even if I remember to).

Why? (Remember when I was talking about how many friends do you really have/ need?)

Because if I gave him the 10 bucks, I'd give it to him with the understanding that this is a gift to my friend.

So why ever say "Lend me"?

I usually say bum me a dollar, because I know I'm not paying it back and don't expect it back if I give them some.

[LucidSofia 59]

LucidSofia, I like Mexico a lot. It has got issues, but what country doesn't? Has your husband lived there?

I´m happy to hear that! And I agree that cuernavaca is nice, the weather is the best

My husband has not lived in Mexico.. we might end up moving there for a few months while we wait out the visa, and I´m really hoping he likes it. I haven´t been there in almost 3 years so I can´t wait to go!