Addressing possible red flags in i-130 -- EGYPT

[Ihavequestions 419]

A couple of weeks ago, the guy from the bank came to sign everyone up for direct deposit. Before the unmarried ladies went to see him, they would check their make-up and pinch their cheeks so they'd look good. Not me. I happened to have my passport with me that day, which I pulled out of my bag and said, "You all don't understand what it takes to get married in this country. I call this my Husband Magnet. I'll be right back - engaged." Their reaction? They all, every last one of them, agreed.

Tread. Carefully.

[sandinista! 1,816]

i'd like to hear more about this photo clock, and how i can go about getting in on that awesomeness.

[MIDUVIL 34]

The 8 years is not a big gap, some have a bigger gap. But it's also the gap between a 19 years old and a 27 years old.

They may see that as a red flag.

And the short courtship can be see as a red flag....

Like other members told you, learn his culture, learn to know him before applying. It's important for your marriage.

Rushing in a marriage, rushing to fill the papers...I don't know, somebody of 19 years old can do that, but when you are 27, you reach a little more wisdom.

I don't want to judge, just wish you good luck and a happy marriage. It's all I want for you.

Maybe it's not time to rush again, sometimes we need to wait in life.

I don't know really the MENA coutries, but I'm reading a lot of love history on visajourney, and I always tell my American husband that American people are gullible, so naive...I really never see so naive people, it's unbelievable.

American people have to know that people know the American culture by movies, stars... and for a lot of foreigners that does mean "that is easier there" and what they can do to reach the so called "land of milk and honey" are unbelievable. Marriage is one of them.

I don't tell that there are fraud anywhere in you case, but be aware of how foreigners can see the USA.

Sorry if I seem harsh, that is not my aim.

I wish you the best for your future.

[Ihavequestions 419]

i'd like to hear more about this photo clock, and how i can go about getting in on that awesomeness.

You pay the shipping and I'll get one for ya. How'z that?

[Mithra 1,185]

Are they popular in Egypt? I would be interested in seeing one.

[rlogan 2,036]

My wife was 19 and I was 49. Thirty year difference, and she was still a teenager. They didn't even ask about it. This topic is one of the most frequently asked because there is such a high proportion of marriages with much larger age differences than the OP.

Nobody in my years here has ever found a case of petitioners being denied over an age difference. You do see people claiming it is a red flag, but none of them have ever been able to point out a case where a denial actually happened because of an age difference, or even an interview where a lot of heat was brought on by it.

It is also common for relatives to introduce couples. That is nothing out of the ordinary.

[Nasturtium 500]

My wife was 19 and I was 49. Thirty year difference, and she was still a teenager. They didn't even ask about it. This topic is one of the most frequently asked because there is such a high proportion of marriages with much larger age differences than the OP.

Nobody in my years here has ever found a case of petitioners being denied over an age difference. You do see people claiming it is a red flag, but none of them have ever been able to point out a case where a denial actually happened because of an age difference, or even an interview where a lot of heat was brought on by it.

It is also common for relatives to introduce couples. That is nothing out of the ordinary.

Clearly, you don't read this forum much.

[MIDUVIL 34]

My wife was 19 and I was 49. Thirty year difference, and she was still a teenager. They didn't even ask about it. This topic is one of the most frequently asked because there is such a high proportion of marriages with much larger age differences than the OP.

Nobody in my years here has ever found a case of petitioners being denied over an age difference. You do see people claiming it is a red flag, but none of them have ever been able to point out a case where a denial actually happened because of an age difference, or even an interview where a lot of heat was brought on by it.

It is also common for relatives to introduce couples. That is nothing out of the ordinary.

You said it, she is from Philippines. After 5 years on VJ, I can tell you that some rules seem to apply to every country except for the Philippines.

Just to tell you that I read a lot of cases where they are keeping people in AP from the MENA countries, for whatever reason or no reason at all.

The age gap doesn't seem to play against Filipinas, it not like that in some other countries. Even if Philippines is viewed as a high fraud country, a Filipina told one time, "The embassy is not so tough compared to some countries".

Me until now, I can't believe when somebody, after 10 days, find somebody online and said "it's the love of my life". That happens SO often. But it's out of my business, if everybody is happy, it's perfect.

Edited February 16, 2013 by MIDUVIL

[Peter_Pan 661]

My wife was 19 and I was 49. Thirty year difference, and she was still a teenager. They didn't even ask about it. This topic is one of the most frequently asked because there is such a high proportion of marriages with much larger age differences than the OP.

Yuck, auch, poor girl, how poverty de-humanizes us.

To the OP - put him to the test. Tell hims you decided to move in with you, never to go back to the US, live your whole life there. Tell him that he will not step foot in the US either, because it is corrupted and blah blah. See if he wants you or US citizenship.

[NY_BX 397]

Who said it's not our opinion?? I find her whole story VERY shady, am sorry to say. I am not saying that she is in on any sort of scheme, but this Egyptian man and his family sound like they've got a plan in the works for REAL. If the consular officer who gets their case doesn't see it - he or she is not doing their job IMO.

Elizabeth, dear. You are entirely too young to have made such a choice so soon. I was your age not too long ago and I believed myself to be mature for my age, but I still was nowhere near ready to get married. In fact now that I'm older and wiser I see how immature I was back then! No offense - but how did your family approve of such an arrangement?? I really can't fathom that.

I am not just going to judge your predicament though. This is an advice forum so I will give you mine, take it or leave it:

Spend a lot more time with your husband in Egypt. Visit for as long as possible, as much as possible for at least a year or two before applying for the spouse petition (preferably wait until after you graduate). I recommend over summer vacations since you are in college. Before 2011 I would have said go study abroad there (I studied in Alexandria for 6 months several years ago) but it is not safe to be that out in the open in Egypt anymore. This is not to strengthen your application though - this is so you can over time decide whether or not he is right for you and whether or not a life with him is the life you want. If he gets pushy and wants to get to the US sooner rather than later, this should be a very big indication of his real intentions.

You mention considering converting to Islam. I implore you to spend a lot more time thinking about that before acting, as you did in this marriage. Converting to Islam is the biggest decision you will ever make in your life, other than having children. I am not saying this to bash it as a religion in any way. I am marrying a Muslim and I am not one and probably never will be. I have nothing but respect for the faith, but I know in my heart it is not for me. Your religion is something that you yourself should be convinced of without doubt, not something you adopt to fit into a community, a culture, or a marriage better. Many people have made that mistake and they live to regret it.

Age difference isn't tremendous though again he is almost 10 years older. That puts him in a position of power over you, whether you realize it or not. This on top of the fact that his culture is very paternalistic. Get ready for a lot of compromises.

In the meantime, you are still young so please don't let being married keep you from pursuing all the things young people try and do. Your college years really do help determine the person you will become for the rest of your life and more experiences make you a more well rounded person. Take the opportunities to have fun and explore because years from now you will look back and regret all the things you missed out on.

Ok, I take it back. It's not MY opinion. That may change.....

[together4evr 360]

My wife was 19 and I was 49. Thirty year difference, and she was still a teenager. They didn't even ask about it. This topic is one of the most frequently asked because there is such a high proportion of marriages with much larger age differences than the OP.

Nobody in my years here has ever found a case of petitioners being denied over an age difference. You do see people claiming it is a red flag, but none of them have ever been able to point out a case where a denial actually happened because of an age difference, or even an interview where a lot of heat was brought on by it.

It is also common for relatives to introduce couples. That is nothing out of the ordinary.

[together4evr 360]

Elizabeth I hope you have not abandoned us. We are very open and frank in this forum because we have seen it or lived it ourselves. The information we give you is to protect you. Al the women that have been taken advantage of before you would have told us NOT MY MAN!! HE LOOOOVES ME!!! So please understand that our reaction and questions will be similar to the CO at the interview and you both must be prepared.

please answer the questions people posted

Elizabeth - How long has your best friend been married ?

How did she meet her husband ? The consulate will want to know.

They will also want to know when you and your now-husband first discussed marriage,

and when you first discussed his immigration to the US.

You'll need to dig into your best friend's story. They will ask your husband at the interview.

Does your husband have more family members in the US?

Out of curiosity, what was the reason he was denied the tourist visa? Was it not enough ties to Egypt? Did he say he was visiting you?

Where is he from?

What is his university degree?

What is his job now?

This will be the ultimate test. Be serious when you ask him. He will say it is ok with him at first but as the days go one... he will become more adament about you sending those PAPERS!!

To the OP - put him to the test. Tell hims you decided to move in with you, never to go back to the US, live your whole life there. Tell him that he will not step foot in the US either, because it is corrupted and blah blah. See if he wants you or US citizenship.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Ok, I take it back. It's not MY opinion. That may change.....

Sorry I didn't mean it as a nasty remark towards you. Hope it didn't come out as such . I was just so flabbergasted by this girl's story. I remember a girl we scared away a couple months back who wanted to marry an Algerian or something, the "White American Queen" one. Her family was so opposed to her impending nuptials, probably for good reason. This OP's family really did her a disservice by not opening their mouths and just accepting it.

As for Elizabeth if she is still even reading this thread: I really hope your new husband doesn't have anything less than the best of intentions for you. I really, really hope your best friend and her husband aren't using you to bring him to the US. It's a terrible, horrible thing to be betrayed like that, and yet it has happened so many times and continues to happen. This is why some Embassies put the onus on the beneficiary to prove he or she isn't a fraud, ie: guilty until proven innocent. If you start petitioning for him now you are facing a very uphill battle that will probably have serious disappointments along the way. Couples with very different circumstances have been denied for much less. It is for the good of yourself and your petition that you keep your relationship at a distance for a while. It will prove to you that he's really worth it to you and hopefully he will prove that he really loves and is dedicated to you.

At the end of the day the one who really suffers isn't the State Department, it's the USC, the victim of fraud. It behooves the USC to do their research, to know this person they are marrying/have married inside and out, and to know and understand and respect their culture so that they don't end up feeling like they wasted years on someone they had nothing in common with.

[RFQ 110]

Look, everyone has pointed out some things that may or may not be issues. Only you can sort that out for yourself. Go into things with your eyes wide open. Be a little suspicious. Ask the questions openly to yourself that others have given you here, and consider the answers. Understand problematic behaviors and subtle clues that may not stand out at first.

Now assuming everything is good on your end, and since you are already married-- lets look to the next step.

I130-- I'm not saying its good for everyone, but I got by on 2 affidavits from a family member, friend, and some pictures from our Nikah and with my family-- less than 10. (I never realized just how lucky we are to have that 5 year B2/visitor approved)I married my husband the 2nd day he was in town on our first visit.

When my NOA2 arrived 3 months later, I was like... ZOMG!! I expected it to take a little longer. I have taken my time through the NVC stage. He has 2 visits here and I have been there once in the last year. I still don't have hard marriage evidences like bank accounts and land, or insurance, but I have now plenty of evidence of an ongoing relationship between him, and me, and our families. My focus is on the interview.

My advice-- take your time.

Edited February 16, 2013 by RFQ

[NY_BX 397]

Sorry I didn't mean it as a nasty remark towards you. Hope it didn't come out as such . I was just so flabbergasted by this girl's story. I remember a girl we scared away a couple months back who wanted to marry an Algerian or something, the "White American Queen" one. Her family was so opposed to her impending nuptials, probably for good reason. This OP's family really did her a disservice by not opening their mouths and just accepting it.

As for Elizabeth if she is still even reading this thread: I really hope your new husband doesn't have anything less than the best of intentions for you. I really, really hope your best friend and her husband aren't using you to bring him to the US. It's a terrible, horrible thing to be betrayed like that, and yet it has happened so many times and continues to happen. This is why some Embassies put the onus on the beneficiary to prove he or she isn't a fraud, ie: guilty until proven innocent. If you start petitioning for him now you are facing a very uphill battle that will probably have serious disappointments along the way. Couples with very different circumstances have been denied for much less. It is for the good of yourself and your petition that you keep your relationship at a distance for a while. It will prove to you that he's really worth it to you and hopefully he will prove that he really loves and is dedicated to you.

At the end of the day the one who really suffers isn't the State Department, it's the USC, the victim of fraud. It behooves the USC to do their research, to know this person they are marrying/have married inside and out, and to know and understand and respect their culture so that they don't end up feeling like they wasted years on someone they had nothing in common with.

No offense taken whatsoever. We're good.

Look, by the little we know, I doubt this would prevail on the grounds of finances alone. She's a full-time student and apparently he has no money. Unless her parents make enough to add him as a dependent, this may be an uphill battle for her.

This reminds me of the other case where she married him, petitioned, got approved but put on a lengthy AP. Come to find out, during the AP, he went to Italy- I believe (it may have been another country)- to see his mistress. Apparently she had petitioned for him too. The AP revealed this. The guy just wanted to get out at all costs. Needless to say, the USC canceled everything and filed for divorce.