The worst phone call ever

[Bunnyqr 0]

Last night my fiance called me to tell me two things.

First how much he loved me.

Second, that he lied to me when he said he sent his final divorce decree in the mail 2 weeks ago.

If you see my time line you will understand that our first RFE was for his final divorce papers. We submitted his divorce petition. I have been waiting for 7 months for these papers and now the truth is out. Why now? Because he had no other choice but to tell me the truth now at the last ticking hour. Our dead line for these papers are this Sunday.

I am numb, I listened to all he had to say to me. I didn't scream, I didn't swear, I just listened and asked why the lies. He said that he has been trying to get his ex-wife to sign them since I told him we needed them in April. He says she wants more money from him. He says she is playing games with him promising to sign and then not doing it. He said he tried to "protect" me from his problems with her.

He said it's not my problem.

I said it was my problem. And then all the fears flooded through my head, my engagement is false! His family has no idea what is going on!!! My wedding plans are finished! My wedding dress is paid for and I don't want to pick it up at the bridal shop.

All this time, all the opportunities he could have told me face to face and he chose not to.

TRUST!?!?!?!!

The foundation of a relationship crumbled!

If he had told me in the beginning, I never would have started the Visa process. I don't know what I would have done, probably stuck with him and waited it out till it was finalized.

Now what?

I left work early today. I can't concentrate. I will call Immigration on Monday and withdraw the visa, ask what needs to be worded in the letter.

He tells me he will be here in December. I don't believe him. How??? He doesn't know what he is talking about. The embassy has already denied him a travel visa due to not having strong enough economic ties to Greece to guarantee he will come back.

So last night I took off my engagement ring and put it back in it's box.

I put all pictures of him, gifts, etc. away.

I really believed him that the papers were coming. I feel like a fool calling everyday to see if they were delivered to my home.

The only thing I can say right now that makes any sense, is thank God Immigration knows their stuff and knew to request the final divorce decree. What if we got the visa with only his divorce petition, he came here and married me and then I find out his divorce wasn't final!!!!

God blesses us in so many ways, even in ways we don't understand at the time.

So, I will say farewell to all.

Thank you all for your support, your funny stories, sharing your pics, passing along jokes and giving great advice.

To all of you, good luck and may your true loves be with you soon.

B

[Ladylethal 12]

I am really really sorry to hear this. I remember you telling us how he was having a hard time getting things done. I hope you'll get through this and be well soon. Good luck.

[me_4_musa 1]

I am so sorry.

I don't even know you and my heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself and good luck in whatever decision you make.

So sorry again.

[mybackpages 0]

Aww Bunnygr...I can only imagine the heartbreak you are feeling. I've watched you wait here a long time. I remember when you posted the pics of the wedding dress just not too long ago.

Give yourself time, space to think, What ever happens we are here for you.

[William33 110]

I have followed your case from early on, with all of the highs and lows. We all noted the trouble you both have gone through on the divorce decree.

I can only offer the following, while honesty is always the best policy, is this an isolated incident?

I can somewhat understand your Fiance's desire to "shield" you from his past relationship and the continuing trouble it has caused, yet as deadlines approached, the "real" story should have emerged. Being blindsided sucks.

I hope you guys can work through this and not give up.

[Dying Goddess 0]

Such a heartbreaking story.

[Cristy 4]

Wow that is huge. I don't know what I would do. Sorry.

[meauxna 15]

Darn you, whoever moved this in the middle of my (now lost) reply!

B, oy.

Wait a few days before you take any steps that can't be reversed. Wait and see what Mana does about this; I smell a butt whoopin' coming soon.

I have a feeling this is an unfortunate but unavoidable cultural chaos---this isn't an abnormal way to deal with people in his world. It doesn't mean everything you think it might (necessarily).

Just hang in for a couple of days.

And turn the cell off.

xxxmo

[jordanianprincess 0]

I am so sorry to hear this, its really good that you are looking at the silver lining in all of this. Stay strong

[almaty 19]

wow, i am speechless..my best to you

[ya falaha! 0]

Ohhh Bunny I'm so sorry this has happened to you I know how excited you were about your wedding. I hope things can work out for you and your fiance. Maybe you guys just need a little space to make him know how important you really are to him. I hope you guys can work this out. (((Hugs))))

Edited November 10, 2006 by moody

[Caladan 19]

I'm so sorry. I second meauxna's advice, and add that for now, take a bubble bath, have some wine, and try to relax. You'll know what your next step is once the initial shock fades.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'm so sorry, Bridgett. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling. Hang in there.

[masterpiece 2]

Lets look at the positives, shall we? You are a brave lady and you know when to call it quits. I applaud you! I am glad you did not let this linger. Now let me suggest one more thing to you. Do not go burying your head on the pillows or anywhere else for that matter. This was all his fault and he knew precisely what he was doing. I am glad you have moved on symbolically by removing the ring. Now get those really close friends of yours nearby and begin the emotional healing process. While you heal, try not to despise him because it is true that hatred, that opposite side of love, can induce baggages that freezes one in time, rendering one, in the process, an emotional invalid.

Like the ring placed in its box, you must now remove the pictures from the web and from sight as you begin again and yes you will love again. As for the Greek god, well lets leave God to judge, shall we? It is possible that he loved....loves...you but perhaps not enough to run to you at the speed you desire.

If you were anywhere near my neighbourhood, i would have invited you out for a drink....but wait, i dont even drink...

Hang in there and keep those friends of yours you are very comfortable with close by.

YOU WILL LOVE AGAIN.............

Edited November 10, 2006 by masterpiece

[WifeOHunkyJohn 2]

What can I say? My heart goes out to you. May you know that you are loved by everyone here and we are all wishing you the very best. And the advice to wait a few days is a good one... At least you will have the weekend to reflect on everything and seek advice from those around you before you choose to call Immigration on Monday.

Sigh... I can't add anything else other than ((((((hug))))))