b roken hearted

[sherryandyashpal 7]

I never knew I would be in this position.

I met my husband about 18 years ago. we had a relationship which ended and then I moved away and got involved with someone else and had a child who is now 14 years old. I came back to the area and then we started living together. Many things happened but I stayed with him.

His mother filed for him and he migrated. At the time we were living together. I had a visitors visa and made trips back and forth to see each other. We got married in 2008 and had a child in 2010. I found out one week after my child was born that he had cheated on me soon after he migrated for good and had a child. I was devastated. He begged me to stay with him. it was hard and I found that although I still loved him I could not have sex with him but I did not know that although he told me how much he loved me and wanted us to be together for the rest of out lives.

He filed for us in 2011 and upgraded after he got his citizenship. POE was in December. He told me that we could not stay at his house because a coworker was staying with him so I stayed with my sister. I always believed everything he said.

I was always suspicious about certain things but he had an answer for everything and I believed him. I went back to Jamaica because i did not want to take my son out of school until the school year ended. He came to Jamaica 3 weeks ago and I went back with him for a few days because my SSN did not arrive and I went to apply for it and returned to Jamaica. All this time we were making plans and thing were going okay since November because we started being intimate with each other again. I was in heaven.

I called him one night about three weeks ago and he said he was with a friend who he took to dinner. He finally admitted that he met her in October 2012 and they started a relationship. He said she made him happy and wanted to be with her. I did not fight him on it and left it at that and told him to have a happy life. He called me afterwards and said he made a mistake and I should stay with him because he ended it with her. I believed him.

I thought we were back on track until last week Friday when he started to hardly answer his phone when I called and was only returned my call occasionally.

Last night I called and he said he was helping someone to move. After questioning him I found that the woman he met in October was moving in with him. The same woman he told me went to dinner with and who about two weeks ago held a gun on him. She came on the phone and filled in some of the blanks for me. Of course he was telling her the same things he was telling me such as he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her etc. She said he never told her he was married and when she found out he told her that she should take him to a lawyer so that he can divorce me to be with her. I found out a lot of things from her. They had keys for each others homes and when he came to Jamaica to be with me she did not even know that because he hid it from her. she is also a immigrant from Jamaica.

I am up writing this because i cant sleep. I called his mother and told her. I told myself that it must be for the best because he has been lying and playing me for all this time. But it still hurts. I asked him if he really wants a divorce and he said 'I will call you back'. He has not done so. Based on that I think he has already even started the process.

My SSN card was mailed to his address and he has it. Can he file taxes married filing jointly and claim my son without my consent? He usually claim our baby.

I had handed in my resignation yesterday because I decided to leave to go be with him. I guess he had the last laugh. Looks like I may have to go back and beg for my job back and forget about migrating. I have also considered going and living in North Carolina with my sister who is presently going through divorce from her husband.

Can my sister file with me as her dependent? What happens if both my sister and him end up claiming for the baby and my son?

My life really is a big disappointment. I feel stupid and humiliated but I guess what is to be must be. Imagine being 43 with a 3 year old daughter to go raise by myself.

Hi..

I'm sorry I dont have much to add that is useful but dont beat yourself up over this... you sound like you are ready to move on and all that matters now is what you do going forward. hindsight is always 20/20 we can always see what we "should have" done once its over, but now you have a chance to let this trick go and he isnt worthy of you no matter what he says I hope you stand your ground. I wish you the best for you and your children.

[olumides_wife 17]

well I don't have any answers as far as the taxes and filing and what not as I am pretty new to this whole petition thing myself but I just want to say to you that you DON'T need to feel stupid.....yeah you are gonna have to raise a 3 year old by yourself but MANY women do it....and children turn out just fine! Refocus your attention on your children and let them fuel your fire don't give that many anymore of your energy...people can only do to you what you allow them to do...nobody deserves a broken heart not matter who was right or wrong...yes I some places from your story where you could have gotten out sooner BUT guess what... I should have gotten out sooner too when I was married to my first husband but I didn't I stayed and went through a lot of pain....but you live and learn and one day you are going to have to help someone else out....so pick yourself up and keep moving forward....no need to hang your head down...learn from it....and keep going....you have 2 children that need you to be their example....so fight for them if you don't do it for anyone else....life isn't over...it's just changed...God will lead you through....just trust him!

[StephAnn2012 50]

My sons SSN came and I have it. The 3 year old was born in the USA and both of us know the SSN. I had to go in apply for mine and he got it in the mail when I returned to Jamaica.

I have no intention to call him and ask for the number. Do you know any alternate way in which I can get to know my number?

Go to the SSN office nearest to you - Take your State or Federally issued photo ID and tell them you lost your SSN card - You need them to issue a new card and they will gladly do so.

You also need to stop relying on what he says and hoping for the best. (I think you have done that already) but having been through a relationship with a serial deceiver myself, it is easier to judge from outside. When we are in the relationship, being the committed one is hard. We fight for the relationship, we keep hoping this time they mean it when they say they will change their ways.

Nobody should judge you, especially none of us here because we only saw one snapshot into your life.

If that is your photo on your profile, then you are beautiful and by the way you express yourself, you are smart. Please take my advice to find a counselor who can help you let go. You will know you have let it go when this topic is not something you even feel remotely interested in posting online or discussing with others. Letting go frees you up to move on with your life. Forgiveness is a strange and beautiful thing. By forgiving him, you are not saying that what he did is OK, you are truly saying "I will remember this NO MORE." Letting go frees you from the burden of reliving all the pain and anxiety that this caused you.

The true justice comes in the form of living a fruitful and happy life apart from that which has caused you pain. By focusing all of your energy in moving on - succeeding in life - you will have no room for regrets or fears.

You need to heal, enjoy your children. Remember the core of your strength. Find out what you believe about God and invest time in seeking a relationship with him. Let God become your best friend and He will prepare you for a man worthy of such a great woman.

As you let go, get help from a lawyer who can fight the fight that needs to take place. It is you who needs to file for divorce on the grounds of adultery - Don't let your head hit your pillow without taking action toward a better future.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

How does my 14 year old son comes into it. I dont understand your comment. He and I did not have a relationship when I had my son and we were not living anywhere near each other. Some time had passed after we parted before I got involved with someone else. I do not have multiple relationships at the same time. So you are wrong about 'not being an angel'.

You clearly misunderstood some of what I said. It was 2 years after we got married that we now have a child who is almost 3 years old. It was one week after she was born that I found out about his other child and the woman was pregnant before we got married so I 'did not know what I was getting into' as you put it.

I am not interested in fighting over him because it is clear to me what he thinks of me.

.

Thanks for answering my question anyway

That's what intend to do.

Not sure why you are confused - No further explanation needed, I answered your questions. One of the reason why I stay away from this thread/portal is because majorty of th ppl that post here are too light skinned. They seem to want the deepest pity and when given + more folks gets confused and dont know how to take it.

At this point I wish you the best. I have nothing else to say i know LIFEJOURNY will answer the questions.