b roken hearted

[velrich 50]

I never knew I would be in this position.

I met my husband about 18 years ago. we had a relationship which ended and then I moved away and got involved with someone else and had a child who is now 14 years old. I came back to the area and then we started living together. Many things happened but I stayed with him.

His mother filed for him and he migrated. At the time we were living together. I had a visitors visa and made trips back and forth to see each other. We got married in 2008 and had a child in 2010. I found out one week after my child was born that he had cheated on me soon after he migrated for good and had a child. I was devastated. He begged me to stay with him. it was hard and I found that although I still loved him I could not have sex with him but I did not know that although he told me how much he loved me and wanted us to be together for the rest of out lives.

He filed for us in 2011 and upgraded after he got his citizenship. POE was in December. He told me that we could not stay at his house because a coworker was staying with him so I stayed with my sister. I always believed everything he said.

I was always suspicious about certain things but he had an answer for everything and I believed him. I went back to Jamaica because i did not want to take my son out of school until the school year ended. He came to Jamaica 3 weeks ago and I went back with him for a few days because my SSN did not arrive and I went to apply for it and returned to Jamaica. All this time we were making plans and thing were going okay since November because we started being intimate with each other again. I was in heaven.

I called him one night about three weeks ago and he said he was with a friend who he took to dinner. He finally admitted that he met her in October 2012 and they started a relationship. He said she made him happy and wanted to be with her. I did not fight him on it and left it at that and told him to have a happy life. He called me afterwards and said he made a mistake and I should stay with him because he ended it with her. I believed him.

I thought we were back on track until last week Friday when he started to hardly answer his phone when I called and was only returned my call occasionally.

Last night I called and he said he was helping someone to move. After questioning him I found that the woman he met in October was moving in with him. The same woman he told me went to dinner with and who about two weeks ago held a gun on him. She came on the phone and filled in some of the blanks for me. Of course he was telling her the same things he was telling me such as he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her etc. She said he never told her he was married and when she found out he told her that she should take him to a lawyer so that he can divorce me to be with her. I found out a lot of things from her. They had keys for each others homes and when he came to Jamaica to be with me she did not even know that because he hid it from her. she is also a immigrant from Jamaica.

I am up writing this because i cant sleep. I called his mother and told her. I told myself that it must be for the best because he has been lying and playing me for all this time. But it still hurts. I asked him if he really wants a divorce and he said 'I will call you back'. He has not done so. Based on that I think he has already even started the process.

My SSN card was mailed to his address and he has it. Can he file taxes married filing jointly and claim my son without my consent? He usually claim our baby.

I had handed in my resignation yesterday because I decided to leave to go be with him. I guess he had the last laugh. Looks like I may have to go back and beg for my job back and forget about migrating. I have also considered going and living in North Carolina with my sister who is presently going through divorce from her husband.

Can my sister file with me as her dependent? What happens if both my sister and him end up claiming for the baby and my son?

My life really is a big disappointment. I feel stupid and humiliated but I guess what is to be must be. Imagine being 43 with a 3 year old daughter to go raise by myself.

Edited February 8, 2013 by velrich

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

I am so sorry, wat a terrible situation.

He cannot file taxes jointly unless he comits fraud, as he'd need your consent/ signature.

If your sister financially supports you, and has done over the last tax year then yes, she can claim you and/ or your kids.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

I never knew I would be in this position.

I met my husband about 18 years ago. we had a relationship which ended and then I moved away and got involved with someone else and had a child who is now 14 years old. I came back to the area and then we started living together. Many things happened but I stayed with him.

His mother filed for him and he migrated. At the time we were living together. I had a visitors visa and made trips back and forth to see each other. We got married in 2008 and had a child in 2010. I found out one week after my child was born that he had cheated on me soon after he migrated for good and had a child. I was devastated. He begged me to stay with him. it was hard and I found that although I still loved him I could not have sex with him but I did not know that although he told me how much he loved me and wanted us to be together for the rest of out lives.

He filed for us in 2011 and upgraded after he got his citizenship. POE was in December. He told me that we could not stay at his house because a coworker was staying with him so I stayed with my sister. I always believed everything he said.

I was always suspicious about certain things but he had an answer for everything and I believed him. I went back to Jamaica because i did not want to take my son out of school until the school year ended. He came to Jamaica 3 weeks ago and I went back with him for a few days because my SSN did not arrive and I went to apply for it and returned to Jamaica. All this time we were making plans and thing were going okay since November because we started being intimate with each other again. I was in heaven.

I called him one night about three weeks ago and he said he was with a friend who he took to dinner. He finally admitted that he met her in October 2012 and they started a relationship. He said she made him happy and wanted to be with her. I did not fight him on it and left it at that and told him to have a happy life. He called me afterwards and said he made a mistake and I should stay with him because he ended it with her. I believed him.

I thought we were back on track until last week Friday when he started to hardly answer his phone when I called and was only returned my call occasionally.

Last night I called and he said he was helping someone to move. After questioning him I found that the woman he met in October was moving in with him. The same woman he told me went to dinner with and who about two weeks ago held a gun on him. She came on the phone and filled in some of the blanks for me. Of course he was telling her the same things he was telling me such as he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her etc. She said he never told her he was married and when she found out he told her that she should take him to a lawyer so that he can divorce me to be with her. I found out a lot of things from her. They had keys for each others homes and when he came to Jamaica to be with me she did not even know that because he hid it from her. she is also a immigrant from Jamaica.

I am up writing this because i cant sleep. I called his mother and told her. I told myself that it must be for the best because he has been lying and playing me for all this time. But it still hurts. I asked him if he really wants a divorce and he said 'I will call you back'. He has not done so. Based on that I think he has already even started the process.

My SSN card was mailed to his address and he has it. Can he file taxes married filing jointly and claim my son without my consent? He usually claim our baby.

I had handed in my resignation yesterday because I decided to leave to go be with him. I guess he had the last laugh. Looks like I may have to go back and beg for my job back and forget about migrating. I have also considered going and living in North Carolina with my sister who is presently going through divorce from her husband.

Can my sister file with me as her dependent? What happens if both my sister and him end up claiming for the baby and my son?

My life really is a big disappointment. I feel stupid and humiliated but I guess what is to be must be. Imagine being 43 with a 3 year old daughter to go raise by myself.

Sorry to hear of your situation... im going to respond as "dear pastor" would as it sounds like an articale id read there. You know what you were getting into. you mentioned that he cheacted on you and you coose to continue. You said this man got involved with another woman and got a child shortly after you have birth. You are no angel either as your past showed the same behaviour when you birth to your now 14- yearold child. This man lied to you, cheated on you, told you, though you are married you cannot live in his house - and you believed. This man has set you up to be tricked.

This man does not love you. he moved anoter woman into his (your home) and is likely to process a divorce case against you. Pack up and get on with your life and take care of yourself and your two children. Don't waste your time over anyone who does not want you. We cant live to experience all life's situations. So, take it from me ..use other people's past situation to better yours.

your sister cant claim you or your kids on tazes since it appears based on what you wrote that you entered the usa in december 2012. according to the U.S. Tax laws your sister would have needed to provide support for you for more than half of the year.

you and your huband may file taxes as "married filing seperately" which comes with a penalty but POSSIABLE..

best of luck

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Everyones is at fault and everyone is to be blamed, but it doesn't stop the pain. Sorry this has happen to you. Now it's time to make some decisions about what is best for you and your child.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

Time to move on,and for God sake do not go back with this man again.You should seek some therapy because to put yourself in this position over and over again it means you need help.I wish you the best.

[velrich 50]

Sorry to hear of your situation... im going to respond as "dear pastor" would as it sounds like an articale id read there. You know what you were getting into. you mentioned that he cheacted on you and you coose to continue. You said this man got involved with another woman and got a child shortly after you have birth. You are no angel either as your past showed the same behaviour when you birth to your now 14- yearold child. This man lied to you, cheated on you, told you, though you are married you cannot live in his house - and you believed. This man has set you up to be tricked.

This man does not love you. he moved anoter woman into his (your home) and is likely to process a divorce case against you. Pack up and get on with your life and take care of yourself and your two children. Don't waste your time over anyone who does not want you. We cant live to experience all life's situations. So, take it from me ..use other people's past situation to better yours.

your sister cant claim you or your kids on tazes since it appears based on what you wrote that you entered the usa in december 2012. according to the U.S. Tax laws your sister would have needed to provide support for you for more than half of the year.

you and your huband may file taxes as "married filing seperately" which comes with a penalty but POSSIABLE..

best of luck

How does my 14 year old son comes into it. I dont understand your comment. He and I did not have a relationship when I had my son and we were not living anywhere near each other. Some time had passed after we parted before I got involved with someone else. I do not have multiple relationships at the same time. So you are wrong about 'not being an angel'.

You clearly misunderstood some of what I said. It was 2 years after we got married that we now have a child who is almost 3 years old. It was one week after she was born that I found out about his other child and the woman was pregnant before we got married so I 'did not know what I was getting into' as you put it.

I am not interested in fighting over him because it is clear to me what he thinks of me.

.

Thanks for answering my question anyway

Everyones is at fault and everyone is to be blamed, but it doesn't stop the pain. Sorry this has happen to you. Now it's time to make some decisions about what is best for you and your child.

That's what intend to do.

[velrich 50]

Time to move on,and for God sake do not go back with this man again.You should seek some therapy because to put yourself in this position over and over again it means you need help.I wish you the best.

Thanks. I have already decided to do that.

I have been in relationships before where as soon as the foolishness begins I just left without looking back. Dont know why I did not take that approach this time.

[Villanelle 4,122]

For taxes theres you, your 14yr son and the 3yr old son. You each need to have a SSN or an ITIN to be claimed/listed on a tax return.

Your husband can file as married jointly or married sep. To file as married jointly w/o your signature hes committing fraud by signing on your behalf.

To list a dependent you have to claim that the child lived with you for 6 or more months or you provided more the half the childs support for the year.

If two people attempt to claim the same child:

They use a tie breaking test. It goes in priority order-

The child will be the qualifying child of:

the parent,

the parent with whom the child lived for the longest time during the year,

if the time was equal, the parent with the highest adjusted gross income,

if no taxpayer is the child's parent, the taxpayer with the highest adjusted gross income.

So for since he is the 3yr olds parent he is going to be able to claim the 3yr old over your sister. You would be able to claim the 3yr old over him because you had more physical time with the 3yr old, but you are not filing a return. For the 14yr old, if they go to your sister or him, it will depend on whose agi is higher since neither is the parent. Again if you file, you would get the 14yr old because you are the parent and had the most physical time.

Of course all of the above is IF your sister is even eligible to claim the children because she would need to be able to say she provided half their support or they lived there half the year.

(to prevent your husband from filing a married filing joint return or rather invalidate his married filing joint return if he files one fraudulently, all you need to do is file a married filing sep return, even if its going to show all zeros. It will cause an audit, because you cant have 2. They will demand his joint return be amended to separate if it was joint.)

Personally if your sister is not eligible to claim the children, I would think you should still file your own tax return showing the children are eligible to be claimed as your dependents and not his. You wont get any tax benefits or refund if you had no income- BUT he will not get any either. If you dont and he claims them, hes going to get it. The only way for him to not is by you filing.

---

Otherwise I am very sorry youre going through this. Like Sandra said. Its good that you recognize its time to move on, and I wish you luck in the future.

[Pinkrlion 2,720]

I never knew I would be in this position.

I met my husband about 18 years ago. we had a relationship which ended and then I moved away and got involved with someone else and had a child who is now 14 years old. I came back to the area and then we started living together. Many things happened but I stayed with him.

His mother filed for him and he migrated. At the time we were living together. I had a visitors visa and made trips back and forth to see each other. We got married in 2008 and had a child in 2010. I found out one week after my child was born that he had cheated on me soon after he migrated for good and had a child. I was devastated. He begged me to stay with him. it was hard and I found that although I still loved him I could not have sex with him but I did not know that although he told me how much he loved me and wanted us to be together for the rest of out lives.

He filed for us in 2011 and upgraded after he got his citizenship. POE was in December. He told me that we could not stay at his house because a coworker was staying with him so I stayed with my sister. I always believed everything he said.

I was always suspicious about certain things but he had an answer for everything and I believed him. I went back to Jamaica because i did not want to take my son out of school until the school year ended. He came to Jamaica 3 weeks ago and I went back with him for a few days because my SSN did not arrive and I went to apply for it and returned to Jamaica. All this time we were making plans and thing were going okay since November because we started being intimate with each other again. I was in heaven.

I called him one night about three weeks ago and he said he was with a friend who he took to dinner. He finally admitted that he met her in October 2012 and they started a relationship. He said she made him happy and wanted to be with her. I did not fight him on it and left it at that and told him to have a happy life. He called me afterwards and said he made a mistake and I should stay with him because he ended it with her. I believed him.

I thought we were back on track until last week Friday when he started to hardly answer his phone when I called and was only returned my call occasionally.

Last night I called and he said he was helping someone to move. After questioning him I found that the woman he met in October was moving in with him. The same woman he told me went to dinner with and who about two weeks ago held a gun on him. She came on the phone and filled in some of the blanks for me. Of course he was telling her the same things he was telling me such as he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her etc. She said he never told her he was married and when she found out he told her that she should take him to a lawyer so that he can divorce me to be with her. I found out a lot of things from her. They had keys for each others homes and when he came to Jamaica to be with me she did not even know that because he hid it from her. she is also a immigrant from Jamaica.

I am up writing this because i cant sleep. I called his mother and told her. I told myself that it must be for the best because he has been lying and playing me for all this time. But it still hurts. I asked him if he really wants a divorce and he said 'I will call you back'. He has not done so. Based on that I think he has already even started the process.

My SSN card was mailed to his address and he has it. Can he file taxes married filing jointly and claim my son without my consent? He usually claim our baby.

I had handed in my resignation yesterday because I decided to leave to go be with him. I guess he had the last laugh. Looks like I may have to go back and beg for my job back and forget about migrating. I have also considered going and living in North Carolina with my sister who is presently going through divorce from her husband.

Can my sister file with me as her dependent? What happens if both my sister and him end up claiming for the baby and my son?

My life really is a big disappointment. I feel stupid and humiliated but I guess what is to be must be. Imagine being 43 with a 3 year old daughter to go raise by myself.

Sorry to hear about this. You can either migrate, find a job etc..., file for divorce (get spousal support & child support). If you get any means tested support like Medicaid, he is financially responsible.

I would suggest you look at the big picture versus the here and now. How do you see yourself and your children living in the next two years.

[velrich 50]

For taxes theres you, your 14yr son and the 3yr old son. You each need to have a SSN or an ITIN to be claimed/listed on a tax return.

Your husband can file as married jointly or married sep. To file as married jointly w/o your signature hes committing fraud by signing on your behalf.

To list a dependent you have to claim that the child lived with you for 6 or more months or you provided more the half the childs support for the year.

If two people attempt to claim the same child:

They use a tie breaking test. It goes in priority order-

The child will be the qualifying child of:

the parent,

the parent with whom the child lived for the longest time during the year,

if the time was equal, the parent with the highest adjusted gross income,

if no taxpayer is the child's parent, the taxpayer with the highest adjusted gross income.

So for since he is the 3yr olds parent he is going to be able to claim the 3yr old over your sister. You would be able to claim the 3yr old over him because you had more physical time with the 3yr old, but you are not filing a return. For the 14yr old, if they go to your sister or him, it will depend on whose agi is higher since neither is the parent. Again if you file, you would get the 14yr old because you are the parent and had the most physical time.

Of course all of the above is IF your sister is even eligible to claim the children because she would need to be able to say she provided half their support or they lived there half the year.

(to prevent your husband from filing a married filing joint return or rather invalidate his married filing joint return if he files one fraudulently, all you need to do is file a married filing sep return, even if its going to show all zeros. It will cause an audit, because you cant have 2. They will demand his joint return be amended to separate if it was joint.)

Personally if your sister is not eligible to claim the children, I would think you should still file your own tax return showing the children are eligible to be claimed as your dependents and not his. You wont get any tax benefits or refund if you had no income- BUT he will not get any either. If you dont and he claims them, hes going to get it. The only way for him to not is by you filing.

---

Otherwise I am very sorry youre going through this. Like Sandra said. Its good that you recognize its time to move on, and I wish you luck in the future.

A very comprehensive answer. Thank you so much.

Sorry to hear about this. You can either migrate, find a job etc..., file for divorce (get spousal support & child support). If you get any means tested support like Medicaid, he is financially responsible.

I would suggest you look at the big picture versus the here and now. How do you see yourself and your children living in the next two years.

Okay. Thanks for this.

[velrich 50]

For taxes theres you, your 14yr son and the 3yr old son. You each need to have a SSN or an ITIN to be claimed/listed on a tax return.

My sons SSN came and I have it. The 3 year old was born in the USA and both of us know the SSN. I had to go in apply for mine and he got it in the mail when I returned to Jamaica.

I have no intention to call him and ask for the number. Do you know any alternate way in which I can get to know my number?

Edited February 8, 2013 by velrich

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

My sons SSN came and I have it. The 3 year old was born in the USA and both of us know the SSN. I had to go in apply for mine and he got it in the mail when I returned to Jamaica.

I have no intention to call him and ask for the number. Do you know any alternate way in which I can get to know my number?

Go to the SS office and ask or ask for A DUPLICATE ID card to be mailed to you.

[Villanelle 4,122]

You can not get your SS number over the phone. You have to contact SS. They have a form you have to fill out for a replacement card. You can do so from either in the US or outside the US

This is the form for outside the US-

http://www.ssa.gov/online/ss-5fs.pdf

form for inside the US-http://www.ssa.gov/online/ss-5.pdf

(make sure you take the right form)

In the US you would go to a local SS office) Outside the US you would either go to a foreign SS office or an embassy. According to the SS website in Jamaica-

Throughout the world, there are a number of American embassies and consulates who have specially trained personnel that provide a full range of Social Security services, including the taking of applications for benefits. By locating your country of residence via the link below, you can access information on the Social Security-trained U.S. embassy or consulate that provide services for that country:

Jamaica

Federal Benefits Unit

Cesar Nicolas Penson

corner to Maximo Gomez

Santo Domingo

Dominican Republic

Phone: 809-731-4371

Fax: 809-562-3559

Email: FBU.SantoDomingo@ssa.gov

There may also be times when contact with your local American embassy or consulate is required. Use the link below to obtain information on U.S. embassy or consulate locations and addresses around the world:

http://kingston.usembassy.gov/

So start with the phone number for the federal benefits unit in Jamaica. Find out their hours and what you need to bring in to get a replacement SS card or if you can come in and get proof of your number. If they say they can not help you, then youll have to get assistance through the embassy.

[velrich 50]

I have been getting some very useful information. I really appreciate it. Thanks for all your help.

[Fight for Love 98]

so sad

yes your sister could claim u and your children. also, if you don't have your sss card with u. just go back to the SSS office and get a replacement card

honey you don't deserved this guy. he just wasting your time to be happy. move on!! and things will be better for u and eventually one day u will find someone who will really take care, respect and love u