Preparing mentally for the change...

[fgiron32 0]

Hi again, this is the 2nd thread I open, and even though I haven’t started my process for obtaining the legal residence I’ve found this forum really helpful when I found myself in doubt. Hope to be helpful to others in the future when I’m past my process.

This time is more a concern than a question, let me explain, me, my wife and my daughter (10 years old) we all live in Guatemala (both wife and daughter are US citizens, but they have lived here they’re entire life), we don’t do excellent but we’re doing fine, we live in a nice house (rented) in a good neighborhood, my daughter goes to a one of the best mid budget schools in the country, and me and my wife we both have a decent administrative job (she has a college degree, I don’t). When we move to the US we will go live with her father and with her aunt, so they will help us establish there. That being said let me explain my concerns.

My daughter is a shy kid, that barely understands English, and we are worried that when she gets there she won’t have the same kind of life that she has here, where she goes to friends houses, she goes to swimming private classes, etc. (mostly because we will not have enough income to pay) also what worry us the most is that we’ve read all about bullying and gangs (we’re going to live in Los Angeles), and we are worried that she may not get used to being different, or kids bullying her or discriminating her. Have any of you have experience on this or can tell me about it.

Second concern, my wife has a nice job, after reading a lot I’ve realized that her degree in Gua is not the same here than in the US, so she may not get a administrative job, and may have to settle with anything she can get. How to prepare her for this.

For me? I don’t care I’m prepared to work in anything that comes.

After all this, some of you may be wondering why are you thinking on moving to the US if you have such a wonderful life, well basically we want to move because Guatemala is so unsafe, my wife has been robbed 3 times in the last year, and not because she’s in a bad area, she’s been robbed in one of the nicest areas here. If you read local news, for example, last January we had 485 homicides in the city. So we feared for the safety of all 3 of us.

That’s basically my case.

Thanks for any comment you can spare.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Los Angeles is a very big place. I am pretty certain that there are certain enclaves for people from your country in LA somewhere.

Safety? I've never felt unsafe here in 30 years but I am not stupid either. I tucked my family away in the suburbs (30 miles away) while I sacrificed with the daily commute from their into LA.

Kids grow up, go to school and live in LA, even Compton but my concern is taking your family from where you've described as a upper middle class living into LA where you may not be in the middel class right away.

[oohpartiv 484]

I can relate, since my husband is from Ecuador, which isn't exactly the safest place in the world either. Always have to look over your shoulder when you go to the corner store can get old fast. Plus, money stretches a lot further here - with an 800$ monthly salary, you can live comfortably.

That being said, LA is a BIG city, and I have no doubt they you and your family will have no trouble fitting in. It's more a question of being open to change. It will undeniably be difficult at first, especially since, as you said, your wife's degree won't be worth much of anything there. However, you can look into validating her degree in the States - in some cases, they accept it as is, and in others she may have to take a semester or two to bring it up to par. Either way, those options are better than having to study all over again (which my husband will unfortunately have to do).

Also, I strongly suggest that you start your daughter on some ESL classes if she doesn't speak English well. Language barrier can be a strong catalyst for depression, especially if she's shy. When I first moved to Ecuador, my Spanish was sub-par, and I have never felt so lonely or sad in my life. The only person I could talk to without feeling humiliated was my husband, who (thankfully) helped me better my Spanish which allowed me to make some friends, a job, etc, and get out of that rut.

Obviously life in the States won't be as comfortable as your life seems to be now - at least at first. You never know what kind of opportunities could show up at your doorstep! Keep an open mind and an optimistic view of the situation and you should be fine.

[fgiron32 0]

Los Angeles is a very big place. I am pretty certain that there are certain enclaves for people from your country in LA somewhere.

Safety? I've never felt unsafe here in 30 years but I am not stupid either. I tucked my family away in the suburbs (30 miles away) while I sacrificed with the daily commute from their into LA.

Kids grow up, go to school and live in LA, even Compton but my concern is taking your family from where you've described as a upper middle class living into LA where you may not be in the middel class right away.

Yes, I don't care sacrificing some things that we have here, because I understand that safety is first, but my daughter I don't know how she will take it.

Anyone has an experience with bullying?

[BaBamSam 239]

I relocated to Los Angeles from the East Coast and it is such a big city with a lot of cultural neighborhoods and areas. Each area is different with its own various safety concerns. My job in the film industry has allowed me to see the best and the worst areas of this "city" and most places are very livable.

Gang violence is often limited to people in the gangs or associated with the gangs. Just exercise vigilance and look up the area where you'll be living in (LA is very divisive over neighborhoods and zip codes!).

Assuming that your daughter's primary language is Spanish, I think she'll be fine as she learns English. A large portion of LA is of Latin American heritage and Spanish is widely spoken. I've even filmed in certain neighborhoods where I had to communicate to store owners in Spanish to get supplies/order food/etc. Obviously, she will have to learn English, but she will probably be OK with Spanish in some places!

Although LA is an expensive city, I live on very sparse and intermittent income (the pains of filmmaking) and it is manageable, I assure you!

[TBoneTX 45,872]

I strongly suggest that you start your daughter on some ESL classes if she doesn't speak English well. Language barrier can be a strong catalyst for depression, especially if she's shy. When I first moved to Ecuador, my Spanish was sub-par, and I have never felt so lonely or sad in my life.

Excellent advice, si man. There's nothing more alienating than a language barrier, no man. I can communicate a few basic phrases in Spanish but can understand almost none, chiefly because everyone talks too fast. The ESL is crucial, with continuous practice practice practice at home.

[markydavid 0]

Advise for your child: make her watch english movies a lot or english kids shows that fits her age. And make practice speaking english at home. That's what I did with my son, he's now 6 years old and speaks english very well. And of course I make sure he speaks english at home.

[Golden Gate 530]

Yes, I don't care sacrificing some things that we have here, because I understand that safety is first, but my daughter I don't know how she will take it.

Anyone has an experience with bullying?

Where in L.A. will you be living?

[NikLR 13,231]

You don't know if your daughter will or won't be bullied. I get that you're worried but as long as she knows she has her parents who believe her, love her and are there for her, she should be okay. I was bullied in school. It was bad enough one year in a very small school that the teacher simply said to my mom it was better if he didn't say anything and just supported me academically until we changed schools the next year. He also suggested that I join activities outside of school to meet a different set of peers. Basically if he said or did anything the bullying was worse. I've been beat up, threatened and called every name under the book. I made it through. I'm outgoing but select in my friends. My mom was always there for me. Having pets helped too. Everyone deals with it different and bullying is different from person to person. But with love and support, I feel most kids make it through just fine and come out on the other side better adults. :-)

[Golden Gate 530]

Yes, I don't care sacrificing some things that we have here, because I understand that safety is first, but my daughter I don't know how she will take it.

Anyone has an experience with bullying?

Just help her connect with other girls her age - maybe neighbor girls, or if you go to church, get her involved with a youth group. Girls can be really mean to each other, so it's important that she find a group of girls she can trust. My daughter has had to move a couple of times and the latest move hasn't been good. She has told me what some of these girls (the popular girls) have said to her and they are really rude in their language and nasty to her because she is quiet. She had a great group of friends at the previous school. Fortunately, she gets to see them from time to time. Unfortunately, living in the city, you will get the toughest crowd.

[fgiron32 0]

thanks for all the replies, as always reading this page help to prepare more for the upcoming change.

Where in L.A. will you be living?

I'll live in either Canoga Park or Van nuys, we don't know where exactly yet.