Prenup agreement discussion

[dreamwarrior 0]

It's a cultural issue in some countries, like Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, and Philippines. In these cases where the country also has a lot of cases of divorces it would be good for the consulate/embassy to require a prenup. I would like to have a prenup, but I suspect bringing it up would result in immediate divorce

[Caryh 5,206]

Okay, so i understand the i-864 doesn't get filed with the k1.

So, neither USC would have an obligation here with the government.

But foreign national has a problem.

Correct?

A big problem, since they cannot legally stay without getting married and adjusted status with the original petitioner. They could marry another USC, but they'd need to return to their home country and have the replacement USC file a CR1 visa. And also explain how in 90 days they found and married someone other than the original petitioner. If they stayed too long over the 90 days, there will also be a waver for overstaying required. One would guess, a lot of questions about the validity of this sudden marriage to someone who was not the original petitioner. I'm not saying it couldn't be done, I'm just saying its likely to come under a lot more scrutiny than the average case would.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Prenups didn't even cross our minds.

Didn't ours either. But my FIL threw some fit about it and we just signed one to shut him up. In retrospect, I should have had some more balls because the whole thing was ridiculous. We lived in 19 sqm dorm room the first year of our marriage. He had next to nothing and I had what came with me in two suitcases. There were no interests to protect. I think he did it to try and run me off, but it didn't work. Anyway, it is no longer enforceable.

[sjr09 155]

Okay, so i understand the i-864 doesn't get filed with the k1. As a norm the I-134 is used in the K-1 process but there are some cases where the petitioner has submitted both the I-134 and the I-864 for the K-1 petition, i.e. P.G. The I-134 is not legally binding as the K-1 is a nonimmigrant visa.... The K-1 Visa allows the visa holder to enter the United States for up to 90 days during which time they may get married and file for Adjustment of Status (to become a Legal Permanent Resident of the US) the I-864 is part of the AOS.

So, neither USC would have an obligation here with the government. Who's "neither USC" Only one USC can peition.

But foreign national has a problem. If they don’t get married in the 90 day timeline they can.

Correct?

[aaron2020 11,651]

iMHO.

Whether a prenup is a good idea or not is irrelevant.

Whether anyone should get one is irrelevant.

A prenup may be right for one couple and not another. Every couple should do what they want.

The problem is the refusal to communicate. It's the my way or no way attitude. That's not good in a marriage. Marriage is a partnership. It only works long term if the couple communicate their feelings and concerns without being shut out.

I think my parents were happy at one point. They're Catholic so they will not divorce for religious reasons. The problem is that they stop communicating years ago. Neither is willing to sit and calmly discuss their differences. They're miserable with each other now. They're more like roommates who share a house rather than husband and wife who share a home.

I am fortunate that I have a relationship where we discuss our differences. We try to find solutions that works for both of us. Sometimes, it's hard to find a solution. We also accept that's its okay for one person to feel a certain way even if the other person disagree. Sometimes we yell, but not often. The best part is that we keep the lines of communication open.

My opinion is that flipping out and refusing to discuss things and expecting it to be my way or no way is that it is not a good way to work at having a healthy marriage.

I try very hard to see things from my wife's perspective. I acknowledge her feelings. I don't tell her that her feelings are wrong. They are what they are. Sometimes, I even tell her I disagree and she is okay with that.

The bottom line is that communication is the key to a healthy marriage. When you don't talk things out, you'll end up as miserable as my parents. And that's a place I do not want to ever go to.

-------

Whether a prenup is right for the OP is irrelevant.

It seems IMHO that the refusal to discuss their differences that will cause problems for them.

This time it the prenup. What else will she refuse to discuss?

How do you sustain a marriage when one person refuses to discuss their differences?

Edited February 4, 2013 by aaron2020

[CaroSL 68]

Prenup agreement? My Filipina fiancée flipped out when I brought it up.wont even discuss it now. This throws up a huge red flag as we start visa process.Any thoughts?

What a thread!!! I am very sure you didn't expect the subject to be that hot!

Anyway, aaron is SO right, your question wasn't about prenups in general, or about who takes more risk, or to know if stereotypes are wrong... We probably got a bit to pationate about the subject...

Did you try to talk to her again? Did it get better?

Once again, it can be a simple communication problem, it is not always easy to express and explain feelings, specially when they are cause by cultural differences.

The red flag could be that you think the fact that she doesn't want a pre-nup is because she has bad intentions, not because she is upset and that her feelings are hurt... If you know her enough, and if you guys love each other, you'll find a way to talk about it.

Not being able to communicate on imporatant subject should be a red-flag... But doesn't mean it is her fault or that nothing can be done about it (I am not saying it is yours either, I really don't know, I am just pointing out).

Edited February 5, 2013 by CaroSL

[sjr09 155]

Yes, there are bad women everywhere - all over the world. There are also good women all over the world. WE SHOULD NEVER GENERALIZE OUR PERCEPTION / CONCLUSION.

I hope next time when we give comments or posts here, we should always be careful of our words as we all come from different cultures / nationalities -- please try not to OFFEND anyone. And, perhaps, it would be very good if we make negative comments, with should be able to support it with good research findings or with an accurate and valid data. Thank you and God bless everyone.

Thank you for the above in red, affirming my comment, If you wish I’ll be more then happy in backing it up with 'research findings or with an accurate and valid data." but you’ll look foolish when I'm done.

[Ismael&Blair 66]

Nicely stated

iMHO.

Whether a prenup is a good idea or not is irrelevant.

Whether anyone should get one is irrelevant.

A prenup may be right for one couple and not another. Every couple should do what they want.

The problem is the refusal to communicate. It's the my way or no way attitude. That's not good in a marriage. Marriage is a partnership. It only works long term if the couple communicate their feelings and concerns without being shut out.

I think my parents were happy at one point. They're Catholic so they will not divorce for religious reasons. The problem is that they stop communicating years ago. Neither is willing to sit and calmly discuss their differences. They're miserable with each other now. They're more like roommates who share a house rather than husband and wife who share a home.

I am fortunate that I have a relationship where we discuss our differences. We try to find solutions that works for both of us. Sometimes, it's hard to find a solution. We also accept that's its okay for one person to feel a certain way even if the other person disagree. Sometimes we yell, but not often. The best part is that we keep the lines of communication open.

My opinion is that flipping out and refusing to discuss things and expecting it to be my way or no way is that it is not a good way to work at having a healthy marriage.

I try very hard to see things from my wife's perspective. I acknowledge her feelings. I don't tell her that her feelings are wrong. They are what they are. Sometimes, I even tell her I disagree and she is okay with that.

The bottom line is that communication is the key to a healthy marriage. When you don't talk things out, you'll end up as miserable as my parents. And that's a place I do not want to ever go to.

-------

Whether a prenup is right for the OP is irrelevant.

It seems IMHO that the refusal to discuss their differences that will cause problems for them.

This time it the prenup. What else will she refuse to discuss?

How do you sustain a marriage when one person refuses to discuss their differences?

[InHisTime 110]

Thank you for the above in red, affirming my comment, If you wish I’ll be more then happy in backing it up with 'research findings or with an accurate and valid data." but you’ll look foolish when I'm done.

That is fine. No worry. May God bless you.

[The Mean Lady 604]

i am the only one who works in this relationship and i have zip nada none zero in savings or assets

yet i think my husband would make out ahead with the thousands in marvel and transformer toys that ive bought him

oh but if we do divorce i claim the tv and ps3

[sjr09 155]

oh but if we do divorce i claim the tv and ps3

Don’t screw yourself, the TV's out dated ask for next years model and demand no less then a top of the line 80” 3d with a premium home theater system from Bose

.