Prenup agreement discussion

[Steven-n-Gladys 2]

Yea its an interesting subject. I think it can be offensive to someone because it

a) shows your making preparations in the event it doesnt work out and so showing pessimism towards the marriage and/or person before its even started

b) Suggests you may be testing them to see if they still want to marry you knowing they could walk away with nothing.

On the other hand I totally get the rational side of a prenup where so many marriages end in divorce nowadays ANYTHING could happen, even if you think shes gods gift on earth someone may be unfaithful 10 years down the line or other circumstances we cant imagine.

Also if she loved u that much why would it even matter whether theres a prenup or not.

I kinda get both sides of this. Though Im sure for a Filipina theres some cultural offense to be taken at the idea of a prenup too. Maybe someone from this culture can come along and provide insight in this. Personally if my fiancee asked me for a prenup my first thought would be that he doesnt trust me. Even though I know he does, it just kind of annoys me and we'd need to seriously discuss this.

It's not untrusting of me...but i am not naive either....its not all rainbows,ponies and and sugar plums even in the best of marriages.I get her reaction (she thinks I dont trust her)I believe marriage is for life....yet Im divorced once allready(not my choice either).I see both sides too..my side and her side.I just dont get the reaction and the refusal to talk about it...ahhh maybe it will blow over,but we still have to discuss it!

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I told him He dont need to worry of me taking of what he owns. Filipina and American Women are different! I assured you that! So dont you worry about it..

That was a little insensitive. I don't know any American women who've screwed their husbands out of money, in fact I have only seen the opposite.

I guess us American women are just all money grubbers out to swindle out ex-husbands. *rolls eyes*

[Steven-n-Gladys 2]

My two cents. If you have deep pockets, and a lot to lose, I would go with a prenup. If you have little in the way of assets, then its a toss up. She should understand that a prenup can actually protect her in that you can write out a specific set of circumstances that gives her financial stability. As an example..going the distance here, Donald Trump with no prenup would have lost half his fortune. With a prenup only about 50 million.If she does not even want to listen, then I would consider thinking about what your future may hold.

I tried to explain that to her...that it isnt just for me,she can protect herself as well.i told her it is mutual contract.and also reduces the bickering that happens with divorce,its like a permarital postdivorce peacemaker thats like insurance,hopefully you never need it.

[sjr09 155]

This is my opinion,

I am Filipina, It is an insult for me if my future husband will tell me that.. It is not our TRADITION or CUSTOM to have a Prenup. My husband and I dont have prenup, When I got here, I work. I assured him if things dont work for us, I would rather send back home. I told him He dont need to worry of me taking of what he owns. Filipina and American Women are different! I assured you that! So dont you worry about it..

Let's stereotype American women. There are many Filipina women who are scammers, cheats, gold-diggers and liars.That's not my opinion, but something factual.

Edited February 3, 2013 by sjr09

[darkangel1215 4]

That was a little insensitive. I don't know any American women who've screwed their husbands out of money, in fact I have only seen the opposite.

I guess us American women are just all money grubbers out to swindle out ex-husbands. *rolls eyes*

NO OFFENSE! What I meant was we don't do a PRENUPTIAL MARRIAGE..

I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFENSE AMERICAN WOMEN, WHAT I WAS SAYING IS WE DONT DO PRENUPTIAL MARRIAGE, I AM VERY VERY SORRY IF I OFFENSE SOMEBODY

[Steven-n-Gladys 2]

That was a little insensitive. I don't know any American women who've screwed their husbands out of money, in fact I have only seen the opposite.

I guess us American women are just all money grubbers out to swindle out ex-husbands. *rolls eyes*

Yeah my exwife didnt screw me..she and I were both fair with each other...it aint about that....

[sjr09 155]

NO OFFENSE! What I meant was we don't do a PRENUPTIAL MARRIAGE..

I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFENSE AMERICAN WOMEN, WHAT I WAS SAYING IS WE DONT DO PRENUPTIAL MARRIAGE, I AM VERY VERY SORRY IF I OFFENSE SOMEBODY

It appears they do

Philippine Prenuptial Agreement 101

Preparing a prenuptial agreement in the Philippines is relatively easy since Philippine laws do not require the agreement between the future spouses to be registered in a government office to be binding between the parties.

However, in order to be assured of the authenticity of the agreement, it is a good idea to execute the prenuptial agreement in a public document. Also, as security for the properties which may be affected by the agreement, and in order to bind third parties, Philippine law requires the recording of the prenuptial agreement in the Local Civil Registry where the marriage is celebrated, and at the Register of Deeds of the province where the affected property is located.

In the Philippines, the term prenuptial agreement is used interchangeably with premarital agreement or ante-nuptial agreement.

Under the Family Code of Philippines, the prenuptial agreement, which must be in writing, should be executed prior to the celebration of the marriage, and signed by the future spouses. Any modification or amendment thereto may only be allowed before the celebration of the marriage.

Manila Visa, however, stresses that both the Local Civil Registry and the Register of Deeds will not allow the registration of the prenuptial agreement unless the marriage has been celebrated for the logical reason that the said agreement shall take effect only after the celebration of the marriage.

Manila Visa further explains that if the marriage settlement does not specifically provide which law shall govern the property relations of the future spouses, the general rule is that Philippine laws pertaining to the law on property shall govern all the properties involved.

This rule, however, does not apply in any of the following instances:

a) Where both spouses are aliens;

b) With respect to the extrinsic or formal validity of contracts executed outside the Philippines pertaining to properties situated outside the Philippines;

c) With respect to the extrinsic validity of contracts, which, although executed in the Philippines, pertains to properties situated outside the Philippines.

Under Philippine laws, all provisions stipulated in the prenuptial agreement in consideration of the future marriage shall be rendered void if the marriage does not take place. However, all the other stipulations which do not depend on the celebration of the marriage shall be considered valid and binding.

In the actual drafting of the prenuptial agreement, Manila Visa advises clients to attach in the agreement a list of all the assets, liabilities, approximate current income, expected gifts and inheritances, and all the other separate properties of both parties prior to the celebration of marriage in order to avoid confusion later in the marriage.

“Separate Properties” of the spouses may be defined as all their separate real or personal properties, whether consisting of rights, titles, or interests to said properties, wherever they may be located, prior to the celebration of the marriage.

In the same manner that all the separate properties of each spouse brought into the marriage shall remain in their full ownership during the marriage, all the debts and obligations incurred by a spouse prior to the celebration of the marriage shall accordingly remain to be the responsibility and obligation of said lender/borrower spouse.

Other collateral provisions, such as support for the children or the daily expenses of the family, and other related matters agreed upon by the parties may likewise be stipulated in the prenuptial agreement provided it is not contrary to law or public morals.

If one of the parties has children from a previous marriage, the future spouses may also provide a stipulation in the prenuptial agreement so that certain assets shall be reserved for the welfare of the children.

Manila Visa, however explains that under Philippine laws, the welfare of the children from a previous marriage is already protected by reserving the assets of the previous marriage for the benefit of said children. Thus, such a stipulation in the prenuptial agreement becomes necessary only if the future spouses decide to grant upon the said children additional properties other than what is provided for by the law.

Any form of agreement or contract is allowed and there is no prohibition or requirement as to the external or formal validity of the contract, as long as there was no duress, undue influence, or vitiated consent upon any of the parties, in the execution of the agreement.

[Steven-n-Gladys 2]

I just spent twenty wonderful days with her in her hometown and in Manila so she can find work now....I love her alot...Im understanding more its a cultural thing maybe more than anything else...except the refusing to discuss it..thats not cultural.Haha,thats personality!

[baron555 934]

Prenup agreement? My Filipina fiancée flipped out when I brought it up.wont even discuss it now. This throws up a huge red flag as we start visa process.Any thoughts?

If she's the one for you and you'd never leave her and will worship her forever...then why even bother?

Unless, you have doubts?

[Kevo 69]

I talked about it a few times with my fiance, she has no issues with a pre-nup. I'm a realist and know that things can change over the years and don't want to be put in a spot where I can't take care of my kids in the future.

As for the American woman comment, my ex-wife is American and she was very reasonable when we divorced. She could've really hurt me financialy had she wanted.

[sjr09 155]

I just spent twenty wonderful days with her in her hometown and in Manila so she can find work now....I love her alot...Im understanding more its a cultural thing maybe more than anything else...except the refusing to discuss it..thats not cultural.Haha,thats personality!

How one can fully understand anyone in such a short amount of time is beyond me. Not discussing important things is not-a good personality trait to have, IMO.

Edited February 3, 2013 by sjr09

[Steven-n-Gladys 2]

If she's the one for you and you'd never leave her and will worship her forever...then why even bother?

Unless, you have doubts?

Hmmmm...thats a little naive...you ever been married?...There is no certainties in life...and i would be more afraid of her leaving me than me leaving her....it aint about that...

How one can fully understand anyone in such a short amount of time is beyond me. Not discussing important things is not-a good personality trait to have, IMO.

Wow!...you think thats they only time I have spent with her?....Known her alot longer then that...

I talked about it a few times with my fiance, she has no issues with a pre-nup. I'm a realist and know that things can change over the years and don't want to be put in a spot where I can't take care of my kids in the future.

As for the American woman comment, my ex-wife is American and she was very reasonable when we divorced. She could've really hurt me financialy had she wanted.

Bingo!

[SAT 9,609]

This is my opinion,

I am Filipina, It is an insult for me if my future husband will tell me that.. It is not our TRADITION or CUSTOM to have a Prenup. My husband and I dont have prenup, When I got here, I work. I assured him if things dont work for us, I would rather send back home. I told him He dont need to worry of me taking of what he owns. Filipina and American Women are different! I assured you that! So dont you worry about it..

Don't take offense in it. I'm sure the op would have done that with any fiancé, but in this case, she just happens to be Filipina...

[Miss_September 1]

Prenup agreement? My Filipina fiancée flipped out when I brought it up.wont even discuss it now. This throws up a huge red flag as we start visa process.Any thoughts?

Real relationship should have the element of trust. Prenup can be interpreted of not having trust to your partner. As a woman I would be offended with it and it may cause bad vibes to your application. Real relationship is real happiness. Good luck!

[sjr09 155]

Hmmmm...thats a little naive...you ever been married?...There is no certainties in life...and i would be more afraid of her leaving me than me leaving her....it aint about that...

Wow!...you think thats they only time I have spent with her?....Known her alot longer then that...

Bingo!

Well do tell us how many 'years' you’ve spent living together?