Wife and Child Changing Names

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I'll preface this by saying that I am the USC, but since we live in Denmark, it does sort of concern us moving to America.

I haven't legally changed my last name after marriage yet because I haven't had the opportunity and it is difficult to do from afar. I'd like to legally change it when I get to America, but I'm wondering if it is the hassle it appears to be - new SS card, new driver's license, changing bank accounts, new passport, etc. Has anyone who has done it got any advice or an irritation factor involved with it that they could estimate?

Can I change my name on my US passport to my married name but keep the maiden one on my UK passport until it is due for renewal? (Just trying to save money and avoid the hassle.)

How many extra copies of my marriage certificate should I get from here to bring with us to do all this and more?

We also want to change my daughter's last name as she has mine and it would be weird for her to be left out that way. Plus, even though my maiden name is old Norse, it just sounds really funny and I assume there will be some teasing. I have sole custody of her. I think it involves something with the probate court, but has anyone done it before?

[hamigirl710 112]

I'll preface this by saying that I am the USC, but since we live in Denmark, it does sort of concern us moving to America.

I haven't legally changed my last name after marriage yet because I haven't had the opportunity and it is difficult to do from afar. I'd like to legally change it when I get to America, but I'm wondering if it is the hassle it appears to be - new SS card, new driver's license, changing bank accounts, new passport, etc. Has anyone who has done it got any advice or an irritation factor involved with it that they could estimate?

Can I change my name on my US passport to my married name but keep the maiden one on my UK passport until it is due for renewal? (Just trying to save money and avoid the hassle.)

How many extra copies of my marriage certificate should I get from here to bring with us to do all this and more?

We also want to change my daughter's last name as she has mine and it would be weird for her to be left out that way. Plus, even though my maiden name is old Norse, it just sounds really funny and I assume there will be some teasing. I have sole custody of her. I think it involves something with the probate court, but has anyone done it before?

I have done it and it was not that bad. The biggest hassel I had was my bank not liking that my marriage certificate was in Arabic and my translation was not notarized by the consulate. But after a few days they gave in and did it.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I have done it and it was not that bad. The biggest hassel I had was my bank not liking that my marriage certificate was in Arabic and my translation was not notarized by the consulate. But after a few days they gave in and did it.

Our original marriage certificate is in English and several other languages, so I don't know if it will be a problem.

Did the SS office keep the original or do they return it?

[hamigirl710 112]

They didn't keep anything that I can remember....I was in and out of the social security office pretty fast.

[Villanelle 4,122]

For SS you go in person, they dont keep anything, you get your new card in apx 7-10 days. Most states will require you to bring your new SS card as proof of the new name along with your marriage certificate, so Id start at SS and then go for the DL. The bank account will want to see your DL and nothing else, so that would be your 3rd stop. For the passport, thats your last stop. Unless your passport is less then a year old, you have to pay the fee to have it issued again. You also have to send in all the original documents to have it issued (marriage license and old passport) and wait 6 weeks to get them back. So if something happens and you need to travel while waiting for the new passport- you cant, you dont have a passport.

I just traveled on my passport under my maiden name and it was a non-issue. I bought the tickets (international tickets) under the name in my passport, and brought my marriage certificate along because my state DL has my married name in case I was stopped and asked for a second form of ID, so I could show why my second ID had a different name, but I wasnt stopped. Im sure if I was though, it would have been accepted. Youre technically only required to have the passport to travel and youre not required to change it to your married name. I just didnt want to leave my DL home and I didnt want to carry a conflicting form of ID w/o explanation.

For your daughter to change her name- I posted this in another thread yesterday,

Its going to depend on if the father consents to the name change or not.

If the father consents to it- Both parents have to sign the form, you dont need a lawyer, you pay the fee and submit the form to the clerk. A hearing date will be set. You have to publish your intending name change in the newspaper. The judge will review everything at the hearing. As long as both parents signed off on it and the name isnt something offensive or infringes on copyrights or is trying to impersonate a famous person- it will be approved. Depending on the court it might not be necessary for both parents to have to appear in person at the hearing. The father may be able to sign the consent form and have it notarized and just the mother and child can appear at the hearing.

If the father doesnt consent- Then only the mother will sign and submit the form. You still dont need a lawyer. You pay the fee and submit the form to the clerk. A hearing date is set and the father will be notified of the hearing. You still need to publish your intending name change in the newspaper. The father has the right to come to the hearing and object. In theory if he doesnt object the name change should be granted. But thats the theory and not the reality.

The reality is and I know this because I changed my childs name w/o the fathers consent- or them being there-

This is what was said-

Judge- We do not ever accept or approve petitions to change a minors name based on remarriage w/o the fathers consent.

Me- but the father did not show up to object, so doesnt that mean he doesnt object?

Judge-Not objecting and giving consent is two different things. We understand when people get remarried they want this nice family picture- where the family now has this sense of unity- everyone has the same last name. But for your child to have your husbands last name, it will look nice and all, but your husband would have the benefit of having the picture perfect family w/o the legal responsibilities that comes with having the child take his name legally if he was to adopt said child. Normally we flat out deny these types of petitions and tell people to adopt the children and the only reason why we are still talking is because of the additional information you provided (showing it would be in the childs best interest to abandon her fathers name and take a new last name). My petition was approved for that reason only.

Perhaps you can qualify the same way. Try to make a strong case that its in the childs best interest to change their name. Show the child has no contact with the father and maybe it will be approved.

In my case I was able to show the child keeping the name would cause an undue burden to child hence it was not in the childs best interest. Applying to change a childs name is rather on the cheap side. I believe in most states its only around 100-200 bucks to apply. They dont refund you if they dont approve it. So maybe if you dont have the other parents consent, try it. Maybe the clerk will discourage you from filing, maybe not. If they dont, because it is your right to file, then you only lost a minimal amount of money.

Edited February 3, 2013 by capri