Questions about Getting Married

[Mithra 1,185]

Well in this case it was a poster who assumed that the word "irreligious" was a derogatory term aimed at Christians. It went downhill from there.

[kristen_maroc 126]

I know-- it just seems like this happens SO OFTEN here.

[Mithra 1,185]

It happens all over the regional forums. When you get so many different people together with different opinions, it's bound to happen. Wouldn't life be boring if everyone agreed all the time?

[SarAyouBliss 38]

no idea, but then i don't understand the big poufy dress thing at weddings, or stupid cakes and all that nonsense. weddings and people's preferences for certain things at weddings are nutty, imo.

you hit on a really important thing there, re. some women on this forum throwing out their religious preferences for that of their spouse's at weddings. some people are irreligious, but nominally christian, and don't care one way or another. but that many?

there's a trend on vj mena anyways, from my observation. as a muslim it's not like i'm advocating for muslims to get married to their christian spouses in churches, but i wonder why it's so often my way or the highway for how lots of mena guys want to get married.

mena guys want to get married thinking they can have better grip than fiancè route. fact!

[sandinista! 1,816]

mena guys want to get married thinking they can have better grip than fiancè route. fact!

i don't get your point here, at all. what are you saying?

[together4evr 360]

I think shes saying scammers want to marry because they will have a stronger case

[oldahmed 38]

I think shes saying scammers want to marry because they will have a stronger case

Does that mean Mena guys = scammers ?

[sandinista! 1,816]

"She" is actually a he, and I hope they will explain what they're talking about.

[kristen_maroc 126]

It happens all over the regional forums. When you get so many different people together with different opinions, it's bound to happen. Wouldn't life be boring if everyone agreed all the time?

Eh, there's a time and place for it, and I don't know if some posts where people are really just trying to get support and information are that time... or place. After all, there are other forums for that, even here. But to be fair, I don't really read any other regional forums.

I guess when you have a community of people where the majority of us are crazy enough to jump into cross-cultural marriages combined with being persistent and strong enough to deal with navigating the immigration system... no wonder all the threads tend to be full of...strong personalities or sometimes extreme defensiveness? Ha.

[RFQ 110]

I don't think I have anything new to add but just incase this is valuable-- I just wanted to say that my marriage certificate, the Islamic contract done in the US was acceptable as proof of marriage at Egyptian military installations. We had to have proof to be able to stay in a hotel together. We have nothing registered in Egypt, just our legal US marriage cert. and religious certificate.

Edited February 7, 2013 by RFQ

[amysaid 9]

Maybe this has been said already, as I didn't read through all the comments, but if the Egyptian Embassy thing doesn't work out, why not get married by a Justice of the Peace at a county courthouse?

[visaqueries 111]

I think that will be the next route for us to take if I can't figure everything out. I have written the Embassy but haven't received a response yet. I will probably be calling them next week sometime.

[Mithra 1,185]

Yeah you should just call. They're not very organized much like the consulate in Egypt. I called once for a visa question and it was like I called someone's home. I got my question answered so good enough.

[visaqueries 111]

INCOMPLETE Update: Well, I don't have all the answers, but I think I'm getting closer. Tonight I decided to do more research. When my fiance comes to the states, we've talked about meeting in New York, traveling the coast, then working our way back to the midwest. As this posting began, my question was...could I get married at an Egyptian Embassy in the US? And, would it be accepted? Since we believe his POE will be New York, and there is an Embassy there, I decided to contact New York's Department of Health (the place where I found information on marriage licenses). Anyway, the site states...

Where can a marriage take place?

A New York State marriage license may be used within New York State only. Please note that if you go out of New York State to be married, your New York State marriage license will not be filed in New York State.

Then it further states...

Who can perform a marriage ceremony?

To be valid, a marriage ceremony must be performed by any of the individuals specified in Section 11 of the New York State Domestic Relations Law. These include:

the mayor of a city or village;

• the former mayor, the city clerk or one of the deputy city clerks of a city of more than one million inhabitants;

• a marriage officer appointed by the town or village board or the city common council;

• a justice or judge of the following courts: the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, the U.S. District Courts for the Northern, Southern, Eastern or Western Districts of New York, the New York State Court of Appeals, the Appellate Division of the New York State Supreme Court, the New York State Supreme Court, the Court of Claims, the Family Court, a Surrogates Court, the Civil and Criminal Courts of New York City (including Housing judges of the Civil Court) and other courts of record;

• a village, town or county justice;

• a member of the clergy or minister who has been officially ordained and granted authority to perform marriage ceremonies from a governing church body in accordance with the rules and regulations of the church body;

• a member of the clergy or minister who is not authorized by a governing church body but who has been chosen by a spiritual group to preside over their spiritual affairs;

• other officiants as specified by Section 11 of the Domestic Relations Law.

The person performing the ceremony must be registered with the City of New York in order to perform a ceremony within the New York City limits. The officiant does not have to be a resident of New York State. Ship captains are not authorized to perform marriage ceremonies in New York State.

http://www.health.ny.gov/publications/4210/

So, it sounds like we could indeed do this Embassy wedding thing...that is if Embassies do weddings and the guy is authorized to perform marriage ceremonies in New York State (and they consider the Embassy in NY).

I'll wait for NY's confirming email. Yes, I was supposed to contact the Embassy, but I've been saving it for a rainy day.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

I am from New York so I have actually done all this research on marriage for myself. Call the Egyptian consulate and ask if someone there is registered with the City to perform the ceremony. You'll be more likely to get an answer from them than from the Department of Health. Honestly, I highly, highly, highly doubt it. Still don't understand your fiance's logic behind getting married at the consulate though.

I actually talked to my fiance about this post a while back. He explained the following to me, I hope you find it helpful: As said before, you don't need to be married in a mosque for it to be considered an Islamic marriage. You don't even need an imam to be present. What you do need is the following: a wali (a person to act as your guardian - your father perhaps? Or a respectable member of the Muslim community), 2 witnesses, and the consent of both of you to the marriage. The marriage contract you will enter to is recited, both parties accept the marriage (you and your wali must both accept) and you're pretty much done. That is the bare bones minimum of what is acceptable in Islam for your marriage to be halal. If your fiance wants to have a halal marriage then this is what is required. But the bigger question is, are YOU comfortable with a ceremony like that?

I apologize to anyone if any of the above info is incorrect, blame my fiance, not me!

Edited March 6, 2013 by Sarah and Adnan