Questions about Getting Married

[Cathi 5,744]

It's not you, it's them. Your original post was clear as day.

"My fiance and I are beginning the talk about how we will get married in the United States"

I don't know how it gets more clear than that, but oh well.

sorry missed that part.

[Cathi 5,744]

Can you contact the local Islamic center where you live and find out if you get married by an Imam but not in a Mosque? I know where my husband is from in Jordan, you can be married right at home by an Imam. It seems like am easier option than having to go to the Egyptian embassy, if it's possible...

[Mithra 1,185]

Please keep in mind that not all Muslims who don't practice their religion go out to bars and mistreat their wives. My husband has never set foot in a bar and while he has consumed alcohol a few times, he doesn't drink on a regular basis. He doesn't go out with friends and leave me at home. He loves his family and is a good father. He just happens to not practice his religion. It's not his thing.

yes thank,you. i was overwhelmed when i moved here and found many of the muslims who use to practice islam in there country but moved to america and found a new life of drinking, going to bars and leaving there wife at home. Its been hard to find friends here that honor Islam as I do.

i never asked my wife to get married in a mosque, but her way of thinking was its in gods hands as she says and your god is my god.

[Mithra 1,185]

My first marriage I was married by an Imam at an office like place. It was a non religious ceremony performed by an Imam. Kinda like if you go to a wedding chapel. Maybe you can find something like that?

Can you contact the local Islamic center where you live and find out if you get married by an Imam but not in a Mosque? I know where my husband is from in Jordan, you can be married right at home by an Imam. It seems like am easier option than having to go to the Egyptian embassy, if it's possible...

Edited February 4, 2013 by Mithra

[Peace.... 281]

we were married in a courthouse in Jordan, by a Muslim Imam, many people are married outside a masjid and it is recognized by Islam. In fact most people in his family are married at home,not in a masjid by an Imam.

Yes I know this LOL... But, you were in Jordan and it's a muslim country. Here USA you have a choice, courthouse, or go to the mosque and be married by an Imam which is what we wanted as you stated "it is recognized by Islam" and there we had muslim witnesses or where else could we find them walking the streets lol if we married at the courthouse. He wasn't here long enough to have muslims friends etc. so we went the mosque route. Actually, I don't think anyone can marry in a mosque outside the USA in their country if i not mistaking so therefore you would have to marry in a courthouse or home etc.

Edited February 4, 2013 by foreverwaiting

[Mithra 1,185]

See my post above. Imams do perform wedding ceremonies outside of a mosque. Not only at "offices" but also at other locations same as ministers and priests. Some will go to other venues. Some will even go to churches for duo ceremonies (the Imam from my first marriage did this). They aren't chained to the mosque lol.

Yes I know this LOL... But, you were in Jordan and it's a muslim country. Here USA you have a choice, courthouse, or go to the mosque and be married by an Imam which is what we wanted as you stated "it is recognized by Islam" and there we had muslim witnesses or where else could we find them walking the streets lol if we married at the courthouse. He wasn't here long enough to have muslims friends etc. so we went the mosque route.

[Nasturtium 500]

As a muslim, i am curious to know where you read about people here being irreligious or nominally christians? my wife is a christian, and i would take it very offensive if you called her irreligious as you know nothing about her and her christian background. I take it as you are not a practicing muslim and pribably most likely pray on during ramadan and skip the rest of the year critizing christians on here. Is this what Islam has tought you? to be sarcastic against others who come here asking for help? I truly hope my wife learns nothing from you here. I dont like what you write here.

Lack of reading comprehension score: +10000

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Edit: Mithra and Mimolicious said this already but whatevs. I'm sure you'll find a solution, OP.

Wait a tick... Muslim marriages don't have to be performed in mosques necessarily, do they? That doesn't make sense for marriage to a kitabiya because as a non-Muslim she's not even supposed to be there.

If he really wants the religious marriage you can arrange for an imam to come and do it in your house even or at a ceremony amongst friends and family. OP - you can't get around the fact that you are marrying a Muslim and you yourself are not. There are certain things you will need to compromise on throughout your life together, which I am sure you already know. I understand his desire to have an Islamic ceremony because that is what is required of him for his faith. I also understand your reluctance to throw yourself into his traditions when they are not your own. But it's important to pick your battles. My fiance and I decided that we would first get married at city hall and then do the nikah. I may not be Muslim but I want my marriage to fulfill the requirements of his religion because I know how important it is to him.

LaL and Mithra - I too am a White American Queen. I told Adnan about that bit and he laughed for days. Now he calls me that as a joke.

Edited February 4, 2013 by Sarah and Adnan

[Peace.... 281]

See my post above. Imams do perform wedding ceremonies outside of a mosque. Not only at "offices" but also at other locations same as ministers and priests. Some will go to other venues. Some will even go to churches for duo ceremonies (the Imam from my first marriage did this). They aren't chained to the mosque lol.

I totally agree that they are not chained to the mosque and the Imam actually was going to have us marry next door to the mosque but asked what we preferred. I said mosque, mohammed said other part of the building as he never heard of marrying inside a mosque, so in the end, we married inside the mosque but not where they actually pray. it was a preference, nothing more

[Nasturtium 500]

My fiance and I are beginning the talk about how we will get married in the United States. I am Christian. He is Muslim. To satisfy the requirements of Egypt and his religion, he wants to get married at the Egyptian Embassy. I know nothing about how that works at all. Of course, I went to the Egyptian Embassy site on the Internet to look at information about marriage (it was in Arabic, so I forwarded it to him--the google translator was terrible). The information I gleaned from our conversations is we'll have to take a lot more passport photos, he'll get a copy of the contract, I'll get a copy of the contract, one will stay at the Embassy, and one will be sent to Cairo. It would then take 6-8 weeks for processing in Egypt.

We will be marrying as soon as he arrives, and we'd like to apply for Advanced Parole and AOS as soon as possible. These are the questions he generated:

1. Do we have to wait for the 6-8 weeks for the official document to arrive from Egypt--certifying our marriage--before we can apply for AP and AOS or will they give us an official paper sooner than that, so we can file for AP and AOS immediately after the ceremony?

2. Is a certificate of marriage from an Embassy recognized by the US as an official and acceptable marriage?

3. My question: How do you go about trying to set up a wedding at the Embassy??? We'll have receptions and celebrations with my family, but he wants to make sure the marriage is recognized in Egypt and with his faith.

Quite honestly, I feel at a loss on how to figure out the protocol. I have been reading several posts about related topics, and one thing mentioned is the Egyptian Consulates/Embassies do not have very good English speakers, and many will request to speak directly to my fiance because he is the male. I'd like to call, but I don't know if there is a specific location I should call (do I call the Embassy in DC or should I contact the consulate in Chicago?).

Do any of you have experience with this topic at all?

No experience with it, but I also vote for the courthouse route if you're both concerned about religion. Good luck.

No, because I am also, a white american queen.

White American Queen represent! We need a sign or a handshake. Also, a theme song.

[devotedpartners 77]

we were married in a courthouse in Jordan, by a Muslim Imam, many people are married outside a masjid and it is recognized by Islam. In fact most people in his family are married at home,not in a masjid by an Imam.

you are in jordan, you cannot marry in a mosque like she did. i dont think she was saying you had to marry in a mosque for your marriage to be valid in Islam.

[Cathi 5,744]

we were married in a courthouse in Jordan, by a Muslim Imam, many people are married outside a masjid and it is recognized by Islam. In fact most people in his family are married at home,not in a masjid by an Imam.

Yes I know this LOL... But, you were in Jordan and it's a muslim country. Here USA you have a choice, courthouse, or go to the mosque and be married by an Imam which is what we wanted as you stated "it is recognized by Islam" and there we had muslim witnesses or where else could we find them walking the streets lol if we married at the courthouse. He wasn't here long enough to have muslims friends etc. so we went the mosque route. Actually, I don't think anyone can marry in a mosque outside the USA in their country if i not mistaking so therefore you would have to marry in a courthouse or home etc.

His brother was married here in the US, Houston to be exact, at home by an Imam...

[Nasturtium 500]

we were married in a courthouse in Jordan, by a Muslim Imam, many people are married outside a masjid and it is recognized by Islam. In fact most people in his family are married at home,not in a masjid by an Imam.

Yeah, we were married int eh courthouse too. All that annoying running around for stamps and the blood tests. Took 2 days from start to finish. Bleh.

[Peace.... 281]

His brother was married here in the US, Houston to be exact, at home by an Imam...

C.. I am not arguing the fact that one cannot marry outside a mosque LOL...WE as a couple decided to as many do. If we wanted to marry at home we could have.

[Cathi 5,744]

you are in jordan, you cannot marry in a mosque like she did. i dont think she was saying you had to marry in a mosque for your marriage to be valid in Islam.

No. I m in the US. I was married in Jordan. But as others have stated, Imams are not tied to a masjid, my husband's brother was married In Houston, at home by an Imam...So I know it is possible. She needs to contact her local Islamic center for specifics

C.. I am not arguing the fact that one cannot marry outside a mosque LOL...WE as a couple decided to as many do. If we wanted to marry at home we could have.

I had a blonde moment...i forgot you guys were married here in the US...