Supporting the family

[jordanianprincess 0]

I hope I put enough options. So what do you guys think?

[sarah and hicham 3]

Hicham and I have a joint account and we are very lucky to be financially stable newlyweds. Hicham's family in no way expects him to send money home and he never has. His family told him if he needs money they will send it to him.

This can apply for those who are still not with their SO's too. I wonder if a lot of people send money to their SO's while they are away? What for?

[jordanianprincess 0]

Hicham and I have a joint account and we are very lucky to be financially stable newlyweds. Hicham's family in no way expects him to send money home and he never has. His family told him if he needs money they will send it to him.

This can apply for those who are still not with their SO's too. I wonder if a lot of people send money to their SO's while they are away? What for?

I don't send anything and even if I wanted too, he wouldn't let me. Contol freak.

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

We have had a couple of arguements about this. She wants to send money home to her parents. She feels it is her 'duty'. I'm a 'traditional' American. Put the old folks in a home and wait for them to kick off! :-)

In all seriousness I would be okay with it if we HAD money to send to her parents. At the moment $100.00 per month goes a LONG way in Ukraine. However, we are newlyweds and have a house payment, a car payment, insurance, and all kinds of other bills that she has never had to worry about before.

Joel

Edited November 9, 2006 by Joel Halfwassen

[AngelK96 0]

we have a joint checking account it's really his but he put my name on it also. I have a checking and saving account of my own.

His mother doesn't expect us to send money but we do anyways just in case she needs something or if something in the house needs to be maintained she can just go ahead and get it fixed.

Ok i better go catch up on Days of Our Lives

good night

[CarolineM 0]

We have a joint account and Don't send money to Australia but of course it's a different situation than ya'lls.

Actually his parents give US money - so we're weird I guess

[Jenn! 918]

We can't really send money now. Actually, Wadi's brother has been helping us out a bit lately. But I hope that we can help out more soon! I don't think they *expect* money, but I don't see them turning down assitance when we want to help and are able to do so.

Wadi and I have our own accounts and he gives me money for bills and stuff. I'm the one who actually writes the checks and whatnot.

[~Jackie~ 30]

#1 Joint account but Mohammed also has a separate account with a different bank. He is establishing credit to secure a business loan in the future. I am a shopper and he is a saver. He works long and hard for his money and I know he enjoys seeing his balance. I am well taken care of. He buys all the groceries, pays 1/2 the rent and pays his own car payment and car insurance. I pay the utilities and my car payment. I shop with my extra money and he saves his in the bank. He totally feels like the man and I also like it this way. You just have to see what works for you. I just know with us, when he started working, he wanted to see the 'fruits of his labor'.

#2

damn I forgot #2 & 3 Not enough caffeine in my system! Mohammed has sent money home a few times, maybe 3 or 4 during his 2 years here. Like at Eid or if a brother is marrying, he will send $500. They don't expect it.

Jackie

[mybackpages 0]

I didn't vote since we are not together yet, but our answers probably will be

I will keep my own account (direct deposit for my salary)

We will open a joint account with his money (and I will add to it as needed from my account) for everyday living things.

We will send money home monthly (giving his mother a debit card to the account). He is the only son and I do not think they expect money, but we both feel better knowing he can still contribute to the household (esp with his father retiring next year).

Regarding Sarah's questions about sending the SO money- I did open a second checking account with a small amount of money. I could not add his name to the account without a SSN, but will do so when he arrives. I sent one of the debit cards from this account to my SO already. He only used it once at my request to take out a little money for a gift to his mother on Eid and because they are moving into a new home. He will leave the card with her when he comes here.

This is when Islamic law is good...my money is my money and his money is our money

Edited November 9, 2006 by mybackpages

[ya falaha! 0]

Since Mohamed isn't here yet I had to put..does not apply. We have talked about bank accounts and stuff and have agreed to have separate accounts. We're still unsure if we'll have a joint account for the household or if I'll just use my account for the household and he'll just give me money to put in it. His family does not expect us to send them money but I'm sure we will occasionally. I don't have a problem with this at all. He is the only son and of course is responsible for his parents and sisters. Esp. his unmarried sisters still living at home. I do not send him any money nor would he allow me to if I wanted or could do so. He works and can support himself so why does he need my money?

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

We both have our own checking accounts, but we also have a joint account. We both have our own expenses, but when we have something that we do together, like rent, we put money in the joint account and we both sign the check we are handing out. The only time I know about him sending money home was when his father was in the hospital and they didn't have enough to get him out, so Adil wired some money to cover the expenses. He tries to send money to his family ever since his father passed, but his mother keeps telling him not to send it because they are fine, and she wants us to save our money so we can be well off. His family doesn't expect him to send money at all.

[doodlebug 3]

i have no idea what we'll do. That was an issue in my first marriage so I guess we should talk about it. Thing is that he really has no idea what it takes to live here financially and seems to think that once he arrives the golden doors will open and opportunity will just yell out his name.

He wants to support me but I want to live in the manner to which I"ve become accustomed. I don't think those two will match up so I dunno what we'll do. I"m fine with him just giving me what he can for the first few years until he gets established but he's not. I think I'm waiting for him to come and see exactly what the situation is here before I get into that argument since it will be like a useless conversation until that point.

I have not sent money though I've tried but he won't let me. Pride. Isn't that one of the 7 deadly sins?

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

i have no idea what we'll do. That was an issue in my first marriage so I guess we should talk about it. Thing is that he really has no idea what it takes to live here financially and seems to think that once he arrives the golden doors will open and opportunity will just yell out his name.

He wants to support me but I want to live in the manner to which I"ve become accustomed. I don't think those two will match up so I dunno what we'll do. I"m fine with him just giving me what he can for the first few years until he gets established but he's not. I think I'm waiting for him to come and see exactly what the situation is here before I get into that argument since it will be like a useless conversation until that point.

I have not sent money though I've tried but he won't let me. Pride. Isn't that one of the 7 deadly sins?

link

[Jenn! 918]

I think gluttony and sloth totally got a raw deal.

[AichaKandisha 0]

That is what I thought too. I have wondered about the pride mentality. Anyone else have these same thoughts?