Treating Foreign Women Like a Commodity

[Darnell 8,478]

some folk have no other medium for 'getting their views known', alas.

[Love's JAA 100]

I missed that thread - link please.

Thanks in advance.

Here's another one, I thought you were talking about at first:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/406642-2nd-chances-for-a-filipina/

[TBoneTX 45,394]

[...] there are the typical "gringa hunter" locals that do everything in their power to get ahold of an american [...] so they can get married and get a visa to get out of their country. it's basically just tricking the foreign girls into liking them so they get a ticket out.

Interesting, si man. Conversely, most of the Ecuatorianas would give anything to find men able to provide respectful treatment, which would generally make gringos far more compatible than Ecuatorianos would be, si man (sigh, man). The sincerity of this wish among Mrs. T-B.'s girlfriends there is intense and seemingly universal.

Rather frequent dialogue around here, si man:

Mrs. T-B. [sappily/romantically]: I love you so much, Carino [sweetheart].

T-B.: You've been talking with one of your girlfriends in Ecuador again, haven't you?

Mrs. T-B.: How did you know that?

T-B.: Because it happens every time -- you appreciate me more when you hear what they're going through.

Mrs. T-B.: That's right -- he cheated on her again and they're getting divorced. He's moving in with his mistress.

T-B.: Which one?

Mrs. T-B.: I don't know -- she didn't tell me.

T-B.: Why didn't she give him a chicharron [roughly, a roundhouse smack]?

Mrs. T-B.: She couldn't get away with it. He would beat her up again the next time he came home drunk.

T-B. [playfully]: Can I move in with my rubias [imaginary harem of 6 blondes]?

[T-B. hastily dodges chicharron, si man]

The above is brought up because if, heaven forbid, something happened to Mrs. T-B., I'd look to Ecuador or some area country for someone. This is precisely because an Ecuatoriana would NOT be a commodity to me, but rather someone who would respond in kind if I treated her well. Most of the gringas that I met over many lengthy, dreary years didn't do that, no man.

Edited January 22, 2013 by TBoneTX

[Leatherneck 693]

This

Here's another one, I thought you were talking about at first:

http://www.visajourn...for-a-filipina/

Thanks for the link to that thread. This thread, the one you provided and countless others in the past show the tendency of some folks on VJ to pounce on an OP for the way one expresses himself. Even if the OP seeks a 'time-out' by apologizing and/or attempting to make it clear, that what was written was not how they felt, (but simply a poor choice of words) the pummeling/piling on is likely to continue.

You'd think after the first, two or three folks posted the, 'Hey! You offended me' comment, the OP could offer an apology making it unnecessary for more offended folks to arrive on the scene annoucing how offended they are.

Me [sic] thinks some folks here are too easily offended, look for the simplest reasons to be offended and rejoice in being offended so they can pummel, pounce, pile on, bloody the nose of and scream at an OP about how offended they are.

Now, I await those offended by this post, to show up and exclaim how offended they are.

[Karee 4,190]

Relevant criticism is not necessarily "going off."

I'm not only grossed out by the merchandise mentality (which, to be fair, can be seen in both sexes on here), but the lack of respect for any subsequent partner acquired quickly after a breakup. People need time to heal from relationship breakdowns. Encouraging people to go out and get another (or another, better model from Country X) can be a recipe for disaster, both for the person with the recent break-up, and the new partner.

All that being said, I shall watch this thread for the inevitable appearance of those who tell us we're just jelly.

My favorite is when they post photos. Look what I just bought and paid for! Like it's a new car.

[oohpartiv 484]

Conversely, most of the Ecuatorianas would give anything to find men able to provide respectful treatment, which would generally make gringos far more compatible than Ecuatorianos would be

that's also very true. i've had several friends down here try to get me to set them up with my brother - even though he's only seventeen. it makes me sad that women here are so often resigned to just being treated like ####### and basically being the maid. then the mothers start training their daughters to cook, clean, deal with nonsense from men - it's a neverending circle.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

My favorite is when they post photos. Look what I just bought and paid for! Like it's a new car.

I know, right? And they're rarely in the photos themselves.

The bizarre need that some people on this forum have to divulge any information that they think others should be envious of is something I will never understand.

[Karee 4,190]

I know, right? And they're rarely in the photos themselves.

The bizarre need that some people on this forum have to divulge any information that they think others should be envious of is something I will never understand.

It's a never ending need for acceptance.

[Caryh 5,206]

Interesting, si man. Conversely, most of the Ecuatorianas would give anything to find men able to provide respectful treatment, which would generally make gringos far more compatible than Ecuatorianos would be, si man (sigh, man). The sincerity of this wish among Mrs. T-B.'s girlfriends there is intense and seemingly universal.

Its not just there. I get the "set me up" line again and again when I'm the Philippines. When I'm in stores with my wife there, sales ladies will ask my wife how she got me, and if she cane get one for her to. The sales ladies don't know I understand enough of the local language to know what they're saying.

You can also add in they're frequently asking how well equipped I am. My wife now holds up one arm, making a fist, while grabbing that arm with her other hand. The looks on those faces is priceless

Quite a few years ago, some people put up a parody web site called the Filipinawifestore.com, precisely because so many men would talk and act like Filipinas were commodities. There's still a parcial archive of the site on the internet way back machine. It even made the national news in the Philippines because people thought the site was real.

http://web.archive.org/web/20070629044442/http://filipinawifestore.com/

[hikergirl 277]

And on the other end of the spectrum of people that we get on VJ, I love seeing the posts from guys/gals who are looking for ideas on how to make their partner feel happy and comfortable in their new surroundings. That are taking the time to research where to buy familiar cooking items/foods, finding organizations so they don’t feel isolated and general tips to help them acclimatize. I have high hopes every time I see those posts.

I’ve seen the marriage to get to new surrounding happen time and again with the military guys here. Girls “accidentally” getting pregnant so that they can hopefully latch onto a young guy who will get them out of their small town. It’s not just an immigration problem unfortunately this tendency of some to use other people.

[Krikit 1,164]

that's also very true. i've had several friends down here try to get me to set them up with my brother - even though he's only seventeen. it makes me sad that women here are so often resigned to just being treated like ####### and basically being the maid. then the mothers start training their daughters to cook, clean, deal with nonsense from men - it's a neverending circle.

I've seen a lot of that too. But it's been the American male.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

that's also very true. i've had several friends down here try to get me to set them up with my brother - even though he's only seventeen. it makes me sad that women here are so often resigned to just being treated like ####### and basically being the maid. then the mothers start training their daughters to cook, clean, deal with nonsense from men - it's a neverending circle.

Actually, our Danish male friends are always asking to be set up with American women (some even hunt them down on dating sites). I have some theories, but I think these sorts of things are a "grass is greener" issue.

I know, right? And they're rarely in the photos themselves.

The bizarre need that some people on this forum have to divulge any information that they think others should be envious of is something I will never understand.

It reminds me a bit of a teenage boy with his first muscle car.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

It reminds me a bit of a teenage boy with his first muscle car.

We've been reminded several times on here by some posters that us CABA (Canadian/American/British/Australian) women are 1980s Dodge minivans, whilst their wives are hot sports cars. Vroom vroom!

[oohpartiv 484]

I've seen a lot of that too. But it's been the American male.

yeah, i guess it's pretty much everywhere. there's a national program against "machistas" in ecuador, but obviously nobody really pays it much mind. a lot of people just accept it as a way of life. my husband's grandfather is one of those "strong male" influences, and is very quick to complain at my husband for splitting the household duties with me or cooking (which he actually does out of enjoyment) - in other words, he thinks i should do everything and my husband should get to watch tv all day needless to say, we spend very little time visiting his grandparents.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

We've been reminded several times on here by some posters that us CABA (Canadian/American/British/Australian) women are 1980s Dodge minivans, whilst their wives are hot sports cars. Vroom vroom!

I've always had the sneaking suspicion that my husband picked me out because of my ability to carry lots of children.