Coping during AP

[SHUSS 11]

Hello all,

I am writing to get some advice on how to better deal with the stress and emotional toll AP is putting on me and my marriage. My husband's case has been in AP for almost 8 months now and I know that there will be no answers until the processing is over with but I am so upset all of the time. I am in graduate school in a very difficult program and I am the only one in my program who is married. My husband and I often fight on the phone and I know it is only from the stress. I have bad dreams all of the time.

Any one who has been through this or is going through it please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Desibaaba 3]

Hello,

I can relate to you on this. I have been married for 2 yrs and my wife is on AP for past 3 months.

We are having same issues like we are fighting A LOT and some time makes me wonder what is the ultimate price we will have to pay for this AP.

Only thing working for me is by not talking a lot on the phone. At first we use to talk every day like 3 or 4 times besides text messages. Now its may be once a day or or every other day.

Only thing we can do is wait and patience. Hope fully every thing will be OK soon.

Good Luck and hope this helps

Fellow AP

[Enigma11561 336]

You both understand that there is absolutely nothing you can do until you receive an answer. As much as you want to talk, it may be better to keep the conversations to minimum. Less talk, less arguments, less stress. I know the waiting is difficult but what you do with your time is important. You both love each other and you will be together. If it is possible, make believe he is on an extended business trip visiting clients and will not be home for awhile. Change your mindset if you can. Go out with friends, have a nice dinner and some drinks. Go dancing. It will not reduce your love for him, but make the time go by easier. And yeah, studying is a great help.

[samirsashasafi 3]

Hello Hope your doing well today. I am still in the beginning stages of this process but we have been together close to 3 yrs now. I was in Graduate school as well and working full time, I think in some way we can all relate to you here no matter which stage, but sometimes the closer you get the more anxious you can become. My advice is try to take it day by day and enjoy the conversations you are able to have with your husband and don't let your self feel angry or upset for too long because it's only the situation that is making you feel that way and not him. Focus things you appreciate and best things throughout the day instead of the waiting for now. Im sure you will get your answer soon and Best of Luck to both of you

Best,

Sasha

[EAbbas 213]

My advice is to simply make your life as normal as possible during AP and whatever that is that works with your SO and for you...

For us, we sleep together with the skype open so we can hear eachother at night, or if the kids cry at night he can wake like he was here in real to be sure we're all ok

I work during the day and he works those hours as well so we email during those times and call eachother on the phone several times a day then when we come home from work we open skype again and he talks to me while i cook dinner, do laundry or he helps the children with school work or reads to the little one or tells her stories before bed.

For us, this is normal life until he comes... he just happens to live inside the pc right now and doesn't dirty my kitchen

just waiting for that day when he's really home... we've been doing this since 2010 and still waiting in AP for 19 months. This is all we can do and continue to not let the AP have such overwhelming stress... we just live day by day

Find something that works for you both... it may not be this for you it may be something else but don't let this horrid AP have such an effect on your life.. it will take it over and it's not worth letting it..

This too shall pass and the future will be here before you know it! Stay strong and have faith!

[Cathi 5,694]

We used to keep our laptops on with the cams open, we would carry our laptops with us throughout the day. I would bring it in the kitchen as I cooked, in the living room as I watched TV with the kids, put it on the dinner table when we ate, he would hear our conversations and participate, he did the same during his day at home. When family and friends visited either of us, they would join in and talk , same for his family and friends. When I would go to family gatherings, I always brought my laptop with me, turning on the cam so he could see what was going on, and everyone in the family would talk to him as though he was there, it was actually pretty fun, It was the closest we could get to actually spending our time together physically. When he arrived here my family and friends already felt as though they knew him. AP was not easy, not knowing when it would end. We were fortunate to only have had to suffer through it for about 10 weeks. Had it not been for the internet and webcams I don;t know how we would have been able to get through the entire process. I wish you the best!!

[Laherida 0]

Hello all,

I am writing to get some advice on how to better deal with the stress and emotional toll AP is putting on me and my marriage. My husband's case has been in AP for almost 8 months now and I know that there will be no answers until the processing is over with but I am so upset all of the time. I am in graduate school in a very difficult program and I am the only one in my program who is married. My husband and I often fight on the phone and I know it is only from the stress. I have bad dreams all of the time.

Any one who has been through this or is going through it please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My husband and I were married 8 years before he left and ended up in AP. He left in September ''12 and will be coming home within the next few weeks. We maintained our sanity by using alot of face time and spending extra time reading the Bible. My church family was very supportive of me and his application. I pray that all goes well for you guys and you are approved also.

[mendito 0]

Help , I need an advice

I am acused by the us embassy in lima for engaged immigration fraud in 2002. Now , I got married with USC , also I have a 3 years old daughther , she is also USC. My waiver ( I-601 ) was deneid in 2011 , my attorney appeal that decition claiming that the I-130 of my wife should not be approved if they considered that I had previously married by fraud. The office in masachusset ( where we sent the claim and apeal ) return my case to the us embassy in lima again., they did not make a decition , they just return it to lima again ? I do not know what is going to happen? any advice please

[SHUSS 11]

Thank you all for your advice and responses. I truly appreciate it.

Mendito, I am so sorry I do not know enough to give you an information but I hope there is someone on this forum able to help you. I wish you the best.