Friend's Marriage Gone Bad,Abandoned GC

[tbj712 0]

I'm posting this topic to seek advice for a friend of mine who came here in the US on a fiance visa and got married. Her husband is a very controlling guy, would only let her work for his company and wouldnt let her get a driver's license. Most of her time was spent cleaning their house,taking care of her stepkids and helping him in his business. She never felt her husband cared for her as he would leave the house without saying where he's going and he would go to a trip and be gone for a week or so and he would not even call her on the phone to check on her.She would call him but he never answered. He would only talk to his kids. He stayed up late every night on the computer and she found out he's on all night chatting to girls online. November last year, she came home for personal reasons she said. I told her leaving with her application pending means she's abandoning her green card application but she didnt care and went home. I personally think that it's best best for her to come back home. Two weeks after arriving in the Philippines, she told me that her husband wasnt replying to her message on Facebook,not picking up the phone, removed her and her kids on his facebook account. And then she told me that the reason she came home was to give birth in the Philippines.She never told me all along that she was pregnant. Her husband told her not to tell anybody she was pregnant and just tell evryone once she gave birth. He wanted her to go home cos he couldnt afford for her to give birth in the US cos they dont have insurance.Her husband didnt give her any money when she came home leaving her the one to pay for her hospital bills and all in the Philippines.To make the long story short, they're back talking again arguing.It's basically him turning the table on her by accusing her of stuff and she defending herself.It's insane how she has the energy to argue with him and hear all his lies.

Now, she wants a divorce and if her husband doesnt file for one, what's the option left for her? Can she file for a divorce while she's in the Philippines?

She didnt get into details but she told me she was sexually abused and had bruises on her body when she came home and have a medical exam proving it, where is the proper venue for her to file her complaints to?

I would greatly appreciate anybody's advice. Thank you!

Edited January 19, 2013 by tbj712

[InHisTime 110]

I'm posting this topic to seek advice for a friend of mine who came here in the US on a fiance visa and got married. Her husband is a very controlling guy, would only let her work for his company and wouldnt let her get a driver's license. Most of her time was spent cleaning their house,taking care of her stepkids and helping him in his business. She never felt her husband cared for her as he would leave the house without saying where he's going and he would go to a trip and be gone for a week or so and he would not even call her on the phone to check on her.She would call him but he never answered. He would only talk to his kids. He stayed up late every night on the computer and she found out he's on all night chatting to girls online. November last year, she came home for personal reasons she said. I told her leaving with her application pending means she's abandoning her green card application but she didnt care and went home. I personally think that it's best best for her to come back home. Two weeks after arriving in the Philippines, she told me that her husband wasnt replying to her message on Facebook,not picking up the phone, removed her and her kids on his facebook account. And then she told me that the reason she came home was to give birth in the Philippines.She never told me all along that she was pregnant. Her husband told her not to tell anybody she was pregnant and just tell evryone once she gave birth. He wanted her to go home cos he couldnt afford for her to give birth in the US cos they dont have insurance.Her husband didnt give her any money when she came home leaving her the one to pay for her hospital bills and all in the Philippines.To make the long story short, they're back talking again arguing.It's basically him turning the table on her by accusing her of stuff and she defending herself.It's insane how she has the energy to argue with him and hear all his lies.

Now, she wants a divorce and if her husband doesnt file for one, what's the option left for her? Can she file for a divorce while she's in the Philippines?

She didnt get into details but she told me she was sexually abused and had bruises on her body when she came home and have a medical exam proving it, where is the proper venue for her to file her complaints to?

I would greatly appreciate anybody's advice. Thank you!

I'm sorry for your friend's nightmare. There is no divorce in the Philippines. I think your friend has to honestly tell her husband that she wants divorce and maybe request the husband to file divorce is the states. Once divorce is finalized, your friend should have a copy of the divorce proceedings / finality to prove that she is back single. The divorce documents I think must be registered in the Philippines at NSO to prove that her previous marriage is legally terminated especially if they registered their US marriage in Philippine consulate in the US.

The way you tell her story -- it's really NOT WORTH AT ALL. Good she came back home in the Philippines. It was an honorable decision. Having a green card is not total solution. Important is her peace and happiness in life. Just tell her to stay strong and work on the divorce papers -- thank God at least she is now back home.

[aaron2020 11,651]

I'm posting this topic to seek advice for a friend of mine who came here in the US on a fiance visa and got married. Her husband is a very controlling guy, would only let her work for his company and wouldnt let her get a driver's license. Most of her time was spent cleaning their house,taking care of her stepkids and helping him in his business. She never felt her husband cared for her as he would leave the house without saying where he's going and he would go to a trip and be gone for a week or so and he would not even call her on the phone to check on her.She would call him but he never answered. He would only talk to his kids. He stayed up late every night on the computer and she found out he's on all night chatting to girls online. November last year, she came home for personal reasons she said. I told her leaving with her application pending means she's abandoning her green card application but she didnt care and went home. I personally think that it's best best for her to come back home. Two weeks after arriving in the Philippines, she told me that her husband wasnt replying to her message on Facebook,not picking up the phone, removed her and her kids on his facebook account. And then she told me that the reason she came home was to give birth in the Philippines.She never told me all along that she was pregnant. Her husband told her not to tell anybody she was pregnant and just tell evryone once she gave birth. He wanted her to go home cos he couldnt afford for her to give birth in the US cos they dont have insurance.Her husband didnt give her any money when she came home leaving her the one to pay for her hospital bills and all in the Philippines.To make the long story short, they're back talking again arguing.It's basically him turning the table on her by accusing her of stuff and she defending herself.It's insane how she has the energy to argue with him and hear all his lies.

Now, she wants a divorce and if her husband doesnt file for one, what's the option left for her? Can she file for a divorce while she's in the Philippines?

She didnt get into details but she told me she was sexually abused and had bruises on her body when she came home and have a medical exam proving it, where is the proper venue for her to file her complaints to?

I would greatly appreciate anybody's advice. Thank you!

Sorry about your friend's situation.

Unfortunately, the Philippines does not allow divorces. She has to file for an annulment in the Philippines.

She could get a divorce in the US, but the Philippines government will not recognize it. If she remarry, she would be committing bigamy under Philippines laws. So, your friend must get an annulment in the Philippines.

She left the US. How is she going to prove anything at this point? She can complain, but it will probably go nowhere.

The best your friend can do is get US citizenship for her child. She could also get child support by suing in a US court. She will need money for a US lawyer.

[TBoneTX 45,273]

*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to Effects of Major Changes -- not a K-1 process matter. ***

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

The best your friend can do is get US citizenship for her child. She could also get child support by suing in a US court. She will need money for a US lawyer.

Getting citizenship for the child might require the cooperation of the father.

I doubt she'll be able to get a child support order without her and the child being in the US. Neither the US nor any US state has a reciprocal child support enforcement agreement with the Philippines.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Getting citizenship for the child might require the cooperation of the father.

I doubt she'll be able to get a child support order without her and the child being in the US. Neither the US nor any US state has a reciprocal child support enforcement agreement with the Philippines.

I did not recommend filing for child support in the Philippines. The mother can sue for child support in the state of the father's residence. Mother and child can voluntarily submit themselves to the jurisdiction of the US court. A court in the father's state of residence does not need a reciprocal child support enforcement agreement with the Philippines to carry out enforcement.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I did not recommend filing for child support in the Philippines. The mother can sue for child support in the state of the father's residence. Mother and child can voluntarily submit themselves to the jurisdiction of the US court. A court in the father's state of residence does not need a reciprocal child support enforcement agreement with the Philippines to carry out enforcement.

Most states will not issue a support order for a petitioner who does not live in that state unless the support order is part of a reciprocal enforcement agreement. This is because it puts the court in the position of unilateral enforcement. It can enforce the aspects of the custody and support order against the parent who resides in the state, but it cannot enforce any aspects of the order against the parent who resides out of state without a reciprocal enforcement agreement. In other words, the father could ask for visitation rights and the court would by stymied - they could enforce a support order by issuing a wage assignment order, but they couldn't force her to make the child available for visitation because she isn't in their jurisdiction nor is she subject to any reciprocal order from a court in the jurisdiction where she lives.

Edited January 21, 2013 by JimVaPhuong