Yardies, at home and a farrin'

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Nice pix, Jax! Thanks for sharing. In pic #5 you can see how young you guys were. So cute.

18 more posts for my third heart!!!!

[tenika 0]

Hello Everyone

Hope everyone is doing great.

Jamie- I am glad your dogs are back home and ok.

Michelle- Congrats on the Raise, I am soo happy Tristan is coming along

Mrs, Squitto, Wishing the best for your wedding celebrations

Married life is great! I can't remember when I have ever been so happy. We laugh and play together and tangle are body together as we talk about life into the late hours. Rohan is a wonderful man. I know how all the jokes on TV go, the way they joke on and refer to married couples.. but I want my marriage to remain this way and better for ever. Me and Rohan had an argument the other day. It was terrible. I hate arguing. I got upset and did what I was taught in pre marriagecounseling not to do, went to bed upset and slept on the couch (since he went to bed first). He woke me up as the sun was coming up with a bible in his hand, and held my hand, and said "Baby, its been a little while since we had devotion, and the argument was just the enemy". I never want to argue again, but I know disagreements are inevitable.

QUESTION (married)

Do you guys have any strategy when dealing with disagreements, any rules?

How do you make up?

Who normally appologize first or do you both take the wrong?

What do you do when you feel you are heading for an argument to diffuse the situation?

Is it just some Jamaican men or do all seem to be a little hard-headed- meaning when they belive something, no matter how much you prove it is not-so, they still have trouble bending..and how do you cope?

I am just looking to take some sucessful strategies, to add to my own. THANKS

[Jonesie 1]

Jax - the third pic (#5) is my fav you two look so cute

[popcorn1012 0]

We just got approved -- NO INTERVIEW!! Can you all see me dancing?!?!?!?!?!? :dance:

Application Type: I485 , Application to Register Permanent Residence or

to Adjust Status

Current Status:

On July 11, 2006, after approving your application, we ordered you a

new card. Your card will be mailed to you as soon as it is ready.

WOW!!!!!

this is such great news. congrats girl!

[Jonesie 1]

QUESTION (married)

1. Do you guys have any strategy when dealing with disagreements, any rules?

2. How do you make up?

3. Who normally appologize first or do you both take the wrong?

4. What do you do when you feel you are heading for an argument to diffuse the situation?

5. Is it just some Jamaican men or do all seem to be a little hard-headed- meaning when they belive something, no matter how much you prove it is not-so, they still have trouble bending..and how do you cope?

I am just looking to take some sucessful strategies, to add to my own. THANKS

1. When we disagree, if we can't come to an agreement then we'll just leave it and move forward. Our rule is that we don't go to bed angry with each other.

2. Making up - sometimes for us it may be a kiss, or even a touch - we don't even need words. But we do apologize to each other if that's what things lead to.

3. We accept responsibility and apologize when we're wrong.

4. We separate and take some space. If things are headed toward the point of arguing, one of us will leave the room (and go pray), then come back and talk when we can actually talk and listen to one another.

5. I can't speak for all JA men but sometimes he is hard headed (and stubborn). Depending on the situation will determine how I handle it. This doesn't happen often but when it's a disagreement (leading toward an argument) I pray and let the Lord lead me from there.

Hope this helps.

Edited July 13, 2006 by Jonesie

[popcorn1012 0]

Married life is great! I can't remember when I have ever been so happy. We laugh and play together and tangle are body together as we talk about life into the late hours. Rohan is a wonderful man. I know how all the jokes on TV go, the way they joke on and refer to married couples.. but I want my marriage to remain this way and better for ever. Me and Rohan had an argument the other day. It was terrible. I hate arguing. I got upset and did what I was taught in pre marriagecounseling not to do, went to bed upset and slept on the couch (since he went to bed first). He woke me up as the sun was coming up with a bible in his hand, and held my hand, and said "Baby, its been a little while since we had devotion, and the argument was just the enemy". I never want to argue again, but I know disagreements are inevitable.

QUESTION (married)

Do you guys have any strategy when dealing with disagreements, any rules?

How do you make up?

Who normally appologize first or do you both take the wrong?

What do you do when you feel you are heading for an argument to diffuse the situation?

Is it just some Jamaican men or do all seem to be a little hard-headed- meaning when they belive something, no matter how much you prove it is not-so, they still have trouble bending..and how do you cope?

I am just looking to take some sucessful strategies, to add to my own. THANKS

I am REALLY hard headed so i never end up apologizing first. which is bad but i am so into whatever i am standing up i cant think of saying sorry. when we argue we both act like we just will never make up again until we get to bed because we try to make up before we go to sleep.

[popcorn1012 0]

this question goes out to those who have already done their AOS interview..............

What where the questions you were asked? and what was some of the other proof of relationship you brought with you/(outisde of what was on the list).

i am just a bit worried because there are no bills or rent coming in our names and i dont want it to seem that it is not a legitimate relationship.

That's my issue too - absolutely NO bills in both our names (and I don't think a magazine subscription counts). We're going to bank this week to add him to account and change my last name on it as well. I hope that will suffice (both our names on bank account). Honestly Papcawn I don't think you have a worry cause you two had Jay and that should be more than enough proof of a bonafide relationship

Hey everyone!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend

It was hotter than Saudi Arabia so all I did was clean and sweat buckets

Guys thanks for your reassuring words. I have been so worried since my friend and his wife were reqquired to do a second interview. i should be starting a new job around the time of the interview and i just feel lik eeverything is hitting at once.

[luvtravlin 0]

QUESTION (married)

Do you guys have any strategy when dealing with disagreements, any rules? No "rules", we just talk and talk and talk. It seems some sinks in with him and some things don't, but it's a male thing they just don't take in what we (as women) do!! That's the frustrating part. Also raising a son, has reeeeally helped me.

How do you make up? GREAT MAKE-UP S*X !!!

Who normally appologize first or do you both take the wrong? Depends....who started the stupid disagreement.

What do you do when you feel you are heading for an argument to diffuse the situation? by saying....okay, we NEED to talk this out !!! "I" am a communicator, bigtime....he's still learning and last night we just sat out on the porch, drank a couple of beers, ate dinner and just chatted. Meanwhile I had a TON of stuff to catchup on with my business, but....that hour is all worth it !!!

Is it just some Jamaican men or do all seem to be a little hard-headed- meaning when they belive something, no matter how much you prove it is not-so, they still have trouble bending..and how do you cope? Men in general, well and of course those that can't "understand" the American life--ways and styles....are veeeeeeeeeeeery hard headed !!!! I HAD to get my friend, who is a guy (that I've been best friends with for 18 yrs), on the speaker phone the other day and have HIM tell Craig about the whole job thing....ie jobs do NOT come to you, you HAVE to go out and find one!!!!

Communicating is the major thing!! Granted the other day, I was pissed and I got in the car and left for 20 minutes to chill out, when I came home, we talked it all out. If things get heated.....it's like having a child, you HAVE to put yourself in time out for like 20 seconds....come back and TALK !!!

I tell my son, go in your room, you have 5 minutes to chill out and come back out when you're ready to disguss ....whatever it is.....without an attitude, etc etc

Good Luck !!!

I hope the color thing on this worked....1st time using it.

Kelly

[tenika 0]

1. When we disagree, if we can't come to an agreement then we'll just leave it and move forward. Our rule is that we don't go to bed angry with each other.

2. Making up - sometimes for us it may be a kiss, or even a touch - we don't even need words. But we do apologize to each other if that's what things lead to.

3. We accept responsibility and apologize when we're wrong.

4. We separate and take some space. If things are headed toward the point of arguing, one of us will leave the room (and go pray), then come back and talk when we can actually talk and listen to one another.

5. I can't speak for all JA men but sometimes he is hard headed (and stubborn). Depending on the situation will determine how I handle it. This doesn't happen often but when it's a disagreement (leading toward an argument) I pray and let the Lord lead me from there.

Hope this helps.

Thanks Jonesie, I gleaned a few tips from your answers

[luvtravlin 0]

Okay, the darn color thing didn't work !!!!

I've been so darn busy, but forgot to tell ya all...my client, that works for immigration, was able to get Craig a work autorization --just as a walk up this past Monday. He's been checking into EVERYthing and since we live within walkin distance to lots and lots of stuff, hopefully he'll be able to find something. He really wants to work at the bowling alley (right up the street from our place).............but..............he needs a flippin shave and is afraid to do it himself !! argh....

Safe travels to those that have upcoming travel

dag and I can't type either........that was work Authorization ....

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Do you guys have any strategy when dealing with disagreements, any rules?

How do you make up?

Who normally appologize first or do you both take the wrong?

What do you do when you feel you are heading for an argument to diffuse the situation?

Is it just some Jamaican men or do all seem to be a little hard-headed- meaning when they belive something, no matter how much you prove it is not-so, they still have trouble bending..and how do you cope?

I am just looking to take some sucessful strategies, to add to my own. THANKS

LOL Henry and I are on the devotion tip as well. So if he is upset, he won't have devotion with me. Making up always has that element where we have to come back to worshiping God together as a family.

As for arguments - things are getting better in that I am learning how to stay calm and not to get riled up over every little thing. I am learning how to praise him more. I am learning how to make him repeat something before I go bilingual on him - often its semantics and he just used the wrong word or whatever.

As for rules, I'd say fights are inevitable so we must fight fair. No hitting below the belt - if whatever is forming in your mouth is a personal stab, hold it in and bite your tongue. No yelling. No dragging up ancient history to wield against each other - Henry calls it deep sea diving - no deep sea diving to look for your spouse's past mistakes.

We both have a temper that needs Jesus. He though has the ability to laugh at our issues more than I do. At the moment we are under a lot of stress, but we take it one day at a time.

99% of them time I apologize. Henry usually doesnt say sorry. But I am learning to "read him" and when he's sorry he will give me gentle touch, play with my hair or something...or fix something that's been needing to be fixed for ages.LOL

Sometimes we both stop a discussion because we see it heading for WW III.LOL So we will table that topic until it we can discuss it rationally.

Edited to say, that within a Christian marriage, like Jonesie, I have to pray for wisdom and strength and guidance.

Edited July 13, 2006 by Elizabethnhenry

[Jonesie 1]

Okay, the darn color thing didn't work !!!!

I've been so darn busy, but forgot to tell ya all...my client, that works for immigration, was able to get Craig a work autorization...he really wants to work at the bowling alley (right up the street from our place)

I hope he gets the job

this question goes out to those who have already done their AOS interview..............

What where the questions you were asked? and what was some of the other proof of relationship you brought with you/(outisde of what was on the list).

i am just a bit worried because there are no bills or rent coming in our names and i dont want it to seem that it is not a legitimate relationship.

That's my issue too - absolutely NO bills in both our names (and I don't think a magazine subscription counts). We're going to bank this week to add him to account and change my last name on it as well. I hope that will suffice (both our names on bank account). Honestly Papcawn I don't think you have a worry cause you two had Jay and that should be more than enough proof of a bonafide relationship

Hey everyone!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend

It was hotter than Saudi Arabia so all I did was clean and sweat buckets

Guys thanks for your reassuring words. I have been so worried since my friend and his wife were reqquired to do a second interview. i should be starting a new job around the time of the interview and i just feel lik eeverything is hitting at once.

From what I saw (on other interview threads for AOS) the heavy hitter of proof is the joint bank statement. He's on my bank account and my new SS will show that I changed my last name. Hopefully the credit card I requested for him will come soon too.

Have your fam and friends write letters of support. I will be getting one from my mom, and probably my co-workers.

We both have a temper that needs Jesus. He though has the ability to laugh at our issues more than I do. At the moment we are under a lot of stress, but we take it one day at a time.

Girl so do we

and good point (re: digging up the past) - looking back hinders you (as a couple) from moving forward.

If a relationship doesn't have it's hangups here and there (arguments and whatnot) then (IMO) both parties are being fake and walking on eggshells to please one another. He and I learn from our disagreements and we grow from them. I hate to quarrel but I am learning how to deal better.

Edited July 13, 2006 by Jonesie

[popcorn1012 0]

Although this is a while away.... i was thinking of celbrating our birthdays/anniversary in Puerto Rico and then we could go to Tortola (about 30 minutes away) and see his two brothers. this is not until december but i really wanted to make this special for for both of us as we did not get to have a honeymoon so now i am just wondering how best to do this. has anyone been to PR and what places are good to stay. I was there once put i only spent a day and the hotel was #######. but it was just like 5 minutes from the airport and i know those dont show the true beauty of the island.

one more question why am i listed as an anonymous user in this toipc?

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

[

We both have a temper that needs Jesus. He though has the ability to laugh at our issues more than I do. At the moment we are under a lot of stress, but we take it one day at a time.

Girl so do we

and good point (re: digging up the past) - looking back hinders you (as a couple) from moving forward.

If a relationship doesn't have it's hangups here and there (arguments and whatnot) then (IMO) both parties are being fake and walking on eggshells to please one another. He and I learn from our disagreements and we grow from them. I hate to quarrel but I am learning how to deal better.

It's great to come out of an argument or disagreement and feel that you and your relationship is better off...feel that you have turned a corner, cleared a hurdle. We had a big disgareement about our various bank accounts and afterwards we felt that we were both clearer on not just that but a lot of other things. Wish we did not have to strive but if we can come out ahead then its a kick in the pants for the "accuser of our brethren."

[Minfay 0]

Do you guys have any strategy when dealing with disagreements, any rules?

Our strategy is we don't fight. I am very hard headed and he is very level headed. I "snip" at him sometimes and he just rolls his eyes back in his head. Communication is most important. We talk all the time. Actually, Roy talks all the time -- HE NEVER SHUTS UP!! He is talking right now and I am typing away and not paying attention....

18 more posts for my third heart!!!!

Let's go girl.....start talking!!!