Yardies, at home and a farrin'

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Hello family.

Damien and I brought our wedding bands together but I paid for the majority of the cost. He still does not feel good about it. He wanted to buy me another ring for our 1st year anniversary but couldn't believe how much they cost I have to keep reminding him that it doesn't matter because the ring don't make the marriage. We finally agreed that when he makes more money then I'll get my ring. He's still trying though because he received a credit card in the mail from a jewerly store. He was so upset because the credit limit was only $300 It's a start.

We went to the JP to get married then had a reception two months later. My only regret is that I didn't get the chance to wear "the dress". So we're planning a small party/reception for his family in JA in July. Then we're going to take pictures on the beach all dressed up. I get to shop for the "a dress" finally.

aren't weddings fun!!! I love it!!

They really are . Am I being silly for wanting to wear "a dress"? I didn't want to wear a wedding dress to the JP.

girl, that's not silly at all. Most women dream of the wedding day and "the dress" from their youth. Go for it girl, get a big white pretty dress and enjoy it to the maxx!!! i saw girls in the jp last week wearing big prom frock and wedding gowns, i was like hell to the nah

I agree- go for it; and why not, you deserve it.

[nyseness 0]

Anna-did you fully recover from your wisdom teeth? How's it going since you left your night job?

Hi everyone..I know I haven't been posting lately just reading all the great news.

Michelle - I'm doing much better this week. Last week was a horrible I ended up staying home most of the week. My dentist had to fax a note to my job for me to stay home Mon-Wed then I TRIED to go to work on Thurs and my supervisor sent me home. Found out I had a dry socket in my left lower socket. It was painful!!!! I felt like I wanted to die so I stayed home on Friday. I have never slept so much in my life. It's was crazy!!! Well I caught some rest which was much needed.

Things are great since I'm spending more time w/my daughter and helping out w/homework and stuff, but at the same time it's hard from going from 2 incomes to 1. The good thing was that I was able to get caught up w/all my bills b4 it happened but now I have to be careful on what I spend. I was never the kind to shop for myself but I always like my daughter to have the best and trust me it's killing me!!! It's an adjustment I guess.

For those of you whose taste in engagement rings exceeds your finace's savings, what have you done?

1. Allowed them to purchase one with whatever savings they have even if it's not your taste?

2. Loaned them the money to get something more suitable?

3. Purchase it yourself? Were they insulted?

4. Get a nice CZ-since most people will never know anyways?

5. Other?

I ended up getting a ring from the naval exchange since I have few family members in the military. At first I had a layaway at Kay's and Javon was making the payments but then I realized it was a waste b/c its not what I wanted. I found something much better looking for 1/2 the price. We decided to get whatever our budget can fit right now and for our 1 yr anniversary we will get what we want.

Oh and by the way anyone was wondering Javon and I have decided to wait (indefinitely) b4 filing. It's seems the thing he has to do first is much more difficult then we original thought.

Edited February 23, 2006 by nyseness

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Thanks girls for your input on my question about the engagement ring. I have what's been called exquisite taste in jewelry and my ex husband gladly indulged in my habit as a jewelryholic I don't have a lot of jewelry but what I do have is nice. Therefore like Lee I have 2 engagement rings, an anniversary ring and other "marital" type jewelry sitting in my safe deposit box doing nothing. I will probably do like Mindy and get a nice CZ or just wear a nice band(and QVC does indeed have some nice ones) as I personally would rather put the money to other uses like a really nice honeymoon. A lot of stars now use CZ's on the red carpet instead of their real jewels if they are not borrowed from the big name jewelers. Anywho my next question is a little controversial but I'd like your input.

Say you have a nice collection of jewelry given to you by en ex that is just being stored, you don't have any children or female relatives to pass them down to, your fiancé cannot afford to give you the engagement ring that you want so would you:

a. use your old engagement ring if your fiancé/husband doesn't mind? (another ex- fiance suggested this but I strongly objected to this option; one reason why he's an ex)

b. sell some of the collection to get your ring or go on your honeymoon etc.?

c. forget about it and let your ex's rings continue to collect dust?

d. sell the collection and doing something else charitable with it?

e. other

Michele

Anna, nice to see you back and glad to hear you're feeling better

[Fishergirl 1]

Thanks girls for your input on my question about the engagement ring. I have what's been called exquisite taste in jewelry and my ex husband gladly indulged in my habit as a jewelryholic I don't have a lot of jewelry but what I do have is nice. Therefore like Lee I have 2 engagement rings, an anniversary ring and other "marital" type jewelry sitting in my safe deposit box doing nothing. I will probably do like Mindy and get a nice CZ or just wear a nice band(and QVC does indeed have some nice ones) as I personally would rather put the money to other uses like a really nice honeymoon. A lot of stars now use CZ's on the red carpet instead of their real jewels if they are not borrowed from the big name jewelers. Anywho my next question is a little controversial but I'd like your input.

Say you have a nice collection of jewelry given to you by en ex that is just being stored, you don't have any children or female relatives to pass them down to, your fiancé cannot afford to give you the engagement ring that you want so would you:

a. use your old engagement ring if your fiancé/husband doesn't mind? (another ex- fiance suggested this but I strongly objected to this option; one reason why he's an ex)

b. sell some of the collection to get your ring or go on your honeymoon etc.?

c. forget about it and let your ex's rings continue to collect dust?

d. sell the collection and doing something else charitable with it?

e. other

Michele

I'm not sure. It would be a toss up between c and d. For the past seven years, the jewelry has collected dust; however, I've often thought about selling but can't seem to bring myself to do it...at least not yet.

Lee

[jkb919 0]

Thanks girls for your input on my question about the engagement ring. I have what's been called exquisite taste in jewelry and my ex husband gladly indulged in my habit as a jewelryholic I don't have a lot of jewelry but what I do have is nice. Therefore like Lee I have 2 engagement rings, an anniversary ring and other "marital" type jewelry sitting in my safe deposit box doing nothing. I will probably do like Mindy and get a nice CZ or just wear a nice band(and QVC does indeed have some nice ones) as I personally would rather put the money to other uses like a really nice honeymoon. A lot of stars now use CZ's on the red carpet instead of their real jewels if they are not borrowed from the big name jewelers. Anywho my next question is a little controversial but I'd like your input.

Say you have a nice collection of jewelry given to you by en ex that is just being stored, you don't have any children or female relatives to pass them down to, your fiancé cannot afford to give you the engagement ring that you want so would you:

a. use your old engagement ring if your fiancé/husband doesn't mind? (another ex- fiance suggested this but I strongly objected to this option; one reason why he's an ex)

b. sell some of the collection to get your ring or go on your honeymoon etc.?

c. forget about it and let your ex's rings continue to collect dust?

d. sell the collection and doing something else charitable with it?

e. other

Michele

Anna, nice to see you back and glad to hear you're feeling better

Hey Michele,

My suggestion is to sell some of it...I have been engaged 3 other times and have sold every ring and used the money for other things....I didnt feel there was any need to keep the rings.

Joanna

[thndrdancr 0]

Hi all,

As far as rings go, as far as trading rings at the ceremony, we didnt have any "offical" engagement or marriage rings. He does have a bit of jewelry, as do most of the Caribbean guys, they seem to really LIKE it a lot. So we picked out two that he already had. He gave me one of his pinky rings, which is a really large, extremely nice Tahitian black pearl set in a 22k gold. We went into a jeweler to have just that one ring (casually) priced and the gal that worked there said it would probably be worth about $700 or more, just by looking at it. It was a LOT more than he thought, and he almost cried, becuz when working on the ship he accumulated a LOT of VERY nice Tahitian black pearls, had them set, and gave them to almost everyone in his family and most of his friends. Almost all of them thought they were worthless and most ended up giving them away and such cuz they didnt "like" them, not knowing the value of a genuine black pearl. He gave away about 30 to 40 of them all told after having them set nicely. He knew they were well liked in the states, he didnt know HOW valuable tho, I tried telling him, altho he WAS smart enuff to pick up on the fact that ALL the passengers went out and bought and bought them. It didnt make an impact til we went to the jewelry store and THEY told him, he ended up probably having about $20,000 in black pearls that he gave away and didnt realize it. Now he rants every time he thinks bout it his dumb relatives giving them away for free.

He did keep SOME tho, and does have a gorgeous bracelet that he had made from them that is fantastic. We are totally broke but I just WON'T let him sell it.

I did take the ring off tho, cuz I have decided rings just arent for me, unless I have just a plain gold marriage band or some such. I have VERY expensive taste too, I have very little jewelry but what I do have is nice. When we went fishing so much last summer, I was so afraid I would lose that black pearl that I freaked eveytime I did anything. So finally I just put it in a safe place so I wont LOSE the darned thing. I have always loved the diamonds with a tiffany setting, the exact same thing I cannot wear without knocking it every time I move. I am a horrible tomboy still and so tiffany settings and me just dont go together.

Ok, starting next week, the serious job hunting begins for Lake, wish us luck and he thanks you all for your welcome home messages. Oh and he DIDNT give away his dress clothes, thank goodness! He is such a joker, I never know when he is telling me a tale or not.

And the pineapple got bruised up coming home and only about 4 slices were still edible.

Take care all

[thndrdancr 0]

Ok, everyone

Question for you all.

I know this was discussed a bit in the old forum but I cant seem to find it. Did any of you feel the need or sign your hubby up for ESL classes. I never figured my hubby would need it, as he COMES from an English speaking country, but the accent is so difficult to understand and the vocabulary/words used vary so much from here, that I am just wondering if he just needs reading classes, or if he should actually take some of the ESL classes.

We did GED orientation today, and even tho he is insistant he needs to get a job ASAP, I feel getting a GED is just as important, here in the states anyhow. Well, come to find out, before he takes GED classes, they want him to take some basic reading and vocubulary understanding classes, but they are ONLY offered during the day, unlike the GED classes, which you have quite a choice from. So anyway, just not sure what to do. I should have signed him up sooner but I didnt becuz I had at first thought he was going to visit Guyana in November, then December, etc, but that AP came so much later than most peoples. And I didnt want him to "start" and then interrupt the classes. Turns out he woulda had ample time but how did I know that. Anyhow...whats your all opinion, you have this prob with any of your men, etc?

Lake only finished the equivalent of about the 10th grade in Guyana, (even tho he has some sort of agricultural degree, dont ask me how THAT works) and of course he is rusty on math and reading. He DOES read alot, but sometimes I have NO idea what words he comprehends and what he doesnt becuz he ACTS like he understands it all. I just told him TONITE, that he needs to ask questions when he doesnt understand a word, because thats how you LEARN, and nothing to be ashamed of becuz our country and his country uses a lot of different words for speaking, and I sure dont understand everything HE says, but I will ask what does THAT mean? Well, he just doesnt, I guess he figures he will appear ignorant. So...any of you experience or experiencing this?

Thanks all, you are great!

Jill

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Ok, everyone

Question for you all.

I know this was discussed a bit in the old forum but I cant seem to find it. Did any of you feel the need or sign your hubby up for ESL classes. I never figured my hubby would need it, as he COMES from an English speaking country, but the accent is so difficult to understand and the vocabulary/words used vary so much from here, that I am just wondering if he just needs reading classes, or if he should actually take some of the ESL classes.

We did GED orientation today, and even tho he is insistant he needs to get a job ASAP, I feel getting a GED is just as important, here in the states anyhow. Well, come to find out, before he takes GED classes, they want him to take some basic reading and vocubulary understanding classes, but they are ONLY offered during the day, unlike the GED classes, which you have quite a choice from. So anyway, just not sure what to do. I should have signed him up sooner but I didnt becuz I had at first thought he was going to visit Guyana in November, then December, etc, but that AP came so much later than most peoples. And I didnt want him to "start" and then interrupt the classes. Turns out he woulda had ample time but how did I know that. Anyhow...whats your all opinion, you have this prob with any of your men, etc?

Lake only finished the equivalent of about the 10th grade in Guyana, (even tho he has some sort of agricultural degree, dont ask me how THAT works) and of course he is rusty on math and reading. He DOES read alot, but sometimes I have NO idea what words he comprehends and what he doesnt becuz he ACTS like he understands it all. I just told him TONITE, that he needs to ask questions when he doesnt understand a word, because thats how you LEARN, and nothing to be ashamed of becuz our country and his country uses a lot of different words for speaking, and I sure dont understand everything HE says, but I will ask what does THAT mean? Well, he just doesnt, I guess he figures he will appear ignorant. So...any of you experience or experiencing this?

Thanks all, you are great!

Jill

My fiance too is a "school leaver" and has about the same education level as Lake. I asked him to look into going back to school at home in Jamaica while we were waiting to file but his work schedule varies from day to day and he absolutely has to work so he will have to wait until he gets here to get his GED. In Connecticut it almost seems as if have to have a college degree to do even the most menial jobs- and the competiton is fierce for manual labor jobs since CT has the highest per capita income in the nation. He knows that he has to go back to school and quite frankly he doesn't understand why, which comes as a surprise to me because I know in Jamaica that they highly value education. When he get's here I'm hoping that he can attend school and work part-time at the same time. I do know that they offer night classes here. What we'll probably do is enroll him in classes as soon as he gets here.

Rhonda-how are you girl? How are things at work?

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Oh I forgot to add-yes he would take ESL classes also.

I also wanted to clarify that I don't think that manual labor jobs are menial. Here in CT some make more as a laborer than some white collar workers. They garner more respect than we do. Someone very close to me made over $106,000 as truck driver for one of the major manufacturers here. A friend got a job at a local construction company after being incarcerated and started at $30.00 per hour (working on a country club golf course) with no prior experience. One of my friends quit her job to clean houses. She works for doctors and lawyers-puts in about 25 hours per week and easily makes more than I do. Another friend is a nanny and she also makes a lot more than I do. That's why the competition is so fierce here. Of course not all jobs pay that much-but some do- and the cost of living here is also one of the highest in the nation. Now though we're losing a lot of those manufacturing jobs to overseas workers in Mexico and China. As a side note-our company just opened up a call center in, of all places Jamaica, and asked for volunteers to train them. Too bad I'm not in customer service

[Minfay 0]

I really don't know what I would do with the jewelry. If I liked it enough to not want to "part" with it, I would never tell Roy where it came from. By telling him it would just open up a "can of worms" that never needed to be opened.

[rhondapayter 0]

For those of you whose taste in engagement rings exceeds your finace's savings, what have you done?

1. Allowed them to purchase one with whatever savings they have even if it's not your taste?

2. Loaned them the money to get something more suitable?

3. Purchase it yourself? Were they insulted?

4. Get a nice CZ-since most people will never know anyways?

5. Other?

Tony originally bought me a huge CZ in Jamaica. That's what he proposed to me with. Then after he got to the U.S. we went ring shopping and I bought both of our rings. Mine was about $1000 and his was about $500. I just opened up an account with the jewelry store and had no interest for 1 year so I just made payments on it. It's the ring I've always wanted. No, Tony was not insulted. He wanted me to have the ring I wanted.

Thanks girls for your input on my question about the engagement ring. I have what's been called exquisite taste in jewelry and my ex husband gladly indulged in my habit as a jewelryholic I don't have a lot of jewelry but what I do have is nice. Therefore like Lee I have 2 engagement rings, an anniversary ring and other "marital" type jewelry sitting in my safe deposit box doing nothing. I will probably do like Mindy and get a nice CZ or just wear a nice band(and QVC does indeed have some nice ones) as I personally would rather put the money to other uses like a really nice honeymoon. A lot of stars now use CZ's on the red carpet instead of their real jewels if they are not borrowed from the big name jewelers. Anywho my next question is a little controversial but I'd like your input.

Say you have a nice collection of jewelry given to you by en ex that is just being stored, you don't have any children or female relatives to pass them down to, your fiancé cannot afford to give you the engagement ring that you want so would you:

a. use your old engagement ring if your fiancé/husband doesn't mind? (another ex- fiance suggested this but I strongly objected to this option; one reason why he's an ex)

b. sell some of the collection to get your ring or go on your honeymoon etc.?

c. forget about it and let your ex's rings continue to collect dust?

d. sell the collection and doing something else charitable with it?

e. other

Michele

Sell those rings and use the money for your new ring or your honeymoon or whatever! No reason to keep them - you'll never wear them again. And if the marriage ended you probably don't want them for sentimental reasons anyways. My ex-boyfriend a LONG time ago bought me two different CZ rings. When we broke up I pawned them and used the money on myself. It made me feel better (we had a really awful break-up). I don't regret it one bit.

I absolutely HATE this new VJ set-up - all my posts turn into one giant post that's hard to read. Is there any way around this?

Edited February 24, 2006 by rhondapayter

[Ms Squitto 0]

Thanks girls for your input on my question about the engagement ring. I have what's been called exquisite taste in jewelry and my ex husband gladly indulged in my habit as a jewelryholic I don't have a lot of jewelry but what I do have is nice. Therefore like Lee I have 2 engagement rings, an anniversary ring and other "marital" type jewelry sitting in my safe deposit box doing nothing. I will probably do like Mindy and get a nice CZ or just wear a nice band(and QVC does indeed have some nice ones) as I personally would rather put the money to other uses like a really nice honeymoon. A lot of stars now use CZ's on the red carpet instead of their real jewels if they are not borrowed from the big name jewelers. Anywho my next question is a little controversial but I'd like your input.

Say you have a nice collection of jewelry given to you by en ex that is just being stored, you don't have any children or female relatives to pass them down to, your fiancé cannot afford to give you the engagement ring that you want so would you:

a. use your old engagement ring if your fiancé/husband doesn't mind? (another ex- fiance suggested this but I strongly objected to this option; one reason why he's an ex)

b. sell some of the collection to get your ring or go on your honeymoon etc.?

c. forget about it and let your ex's rings continue to collect dust?

d. sell the collection and doing something else charitable with it?

e. other

Michele

Anna, nice to see you back and glad to hear you're feeling better

i say, sell the old and buy some new bling!!!

[jkb919 0]

Good morning everyone,

I just woke up (yeah I spelt in late ) anyway, I have a hair appointment at 3 and then I am in a wedding tonight so in a couple hours my day is going to be very busy. The girl getting married is my friend from work and she stays stressed all the time, so we are going to have to try and keep her calm ...but the wedding will be nice, the reception that is another thing, her dad and sisters husband always drink way too much and make total fools of them selves (its an open bar)...so anyway my night will be excieting...

Jill ~ about the schooling thing, I have already checked into some Tech schools areound here that offer GED classes and they said he can go to school as long as he has a SSN, Adrian and I have already talked about it and as soon as he gets his SSN he will sart classes they offer them in morning or afternoon, Since I am going to fly him through JFK to get the temp work stamp, he said he would like to go to the classes in the morning and try to get an afternoon or evening job. Right now neither of us are worried about how much he will get paid, if it is min. wage then OK, I just dont want him sitting at home bored to death while I work. He can always work his way up the ladder at a job or find something else.

Joanna

[Ms Squitto 0]

Oh I forgot to add-yes he would take ESL classes also.

I also wanted to clarify that I don't think that manual labor jobs are menial. Here in CT some make more as a laborer than some white collar workers. They garner more respect than we do. Someone very close to me made over $106,000 as truck driver for one of the major manufacturers here. A friend got a job at a local construction company after being incarcerated and started at $30.00 per hour (working on a country club golf course) with no prior experience. One of my friends quit her job to clean houses. She works for doctors and lawyers-puts in about 25 hours per week and easily makes more than I do. Another friend is a nanny and she also makes a lot more than I do. That's why the competition is so fierce here. Of course not all jobs pay that much-but some do- and the cost of living here is also one of the highest in the nation. Now though we're losing a lot of those manufacturing jobs to overseas workers in Mexico and China. As a side note-our company just opened up a call center in, of all places Jamaica, and asked for volunteers to train them. Too bad I'm not in customer service

we wanna move back to CT sooooooooooooooooo bad, we're working on it. we were supposed to be leaving next week, but with planning this wedding we couldn't. but we spend just about every weekend in CT now as we're having our big day there...

[brownnskinn 0]

Hello everyone just checking in. I do not have much time to chat lately. Married life/ life in general is keeping me very busy. David puts up such as good effort to try be the "perfect" husband" I feel truly blessed, and I am very happy, but It's like having a fouth in my cause fifth job when both are putting up such an effort to make things work. Good luck on the up coming weddings, I know your day will be as special as ours.

]MsSquitto[/color][/size]: did I "hear" to say that there is an expiration date for filing for A'S? Today we are going to try to get a state ID today, we've tried once this week the system was down, without the ID I cannot add him to anything.

Rings: I/we had the rings we wanted to get picked out, but ended up being short on money so David brought basic bands, well in fact, footed the bill for our wedding cost all together. The ring I want cost about 2,000.00 1 carat in white gold that is in layaway.I actually like our gold bands too, so traditional. And the fact that I did not have to buy them this time meant a lot to me.

Old Jewelry:: I agree sell the items and use the cash for something else, esp. past wedding /engagementrings. In deed if you wear the other items do not mention where they came from.

GED classes: we both agrees that it will be helpful to enroll in the basic Edclasses. He needs to pass the drivers course so that he won't have to depend on my driving him to the course, in our case.

My concern is that I'm a fraid that people take him the wrong way when we are out shopping, he can be so abrupt. He went up to a guy in the auto parts store who was helping someone else might I add and said "hey yo, question!! everyone stopped and looked cause he paused after saying it so loud, the guy said okay what is the "question" I was laughing so hard. It's like when he's in the store he expects some one to come over right a way to assist.

Anna:: Sorry to hear.

We purchased all these things to send to David's daughter it's going to cost 150$ to send them to her, who knows who much they will charge to pick the items up. Has anyone tried to mail a big box of items to JA?

Have a great weekend.!!!