Yardies, at home and a farrin'

[brownnskinn 0]

I feel very blessed to have you all, because I have some female friends who don't have anyone to talk to. My sisters only have me....there is NOBODY they can trust....they don't trust each other even (each wishes I would not discuss their business with the other). Scary.

DITTO....I am greatful for you all

Not so scary tho..I would not tell my sister many of the things I have mentioned to you guys...I understand...There have been many of times I have told my sister things...only to have her through it up in my face when she gets mad....I do not trust her...I am there for her but I don't tell her personal things about my life.

[Shemmy 4]

I only skim read the last few pages (as I've been in training for most of the day) but I'd like to share one observation that I've made. I've noticed a slight trend. Last year this time many of us were agonizing over approvals and missing our SO's so much and ranting about phone cards and the separation issues and LDR frustrations and all that. Now that many of us have our men right here with us, reality has set in and we now complain about the f*ckery associated with a real relationship and find our men driving us bonkers. I ask myself...was I (we) living in fantasy land all that time when he was in JA? Did I (we) just dream that everything was going to be a-ok once he finally made it to the US? Did I (we) really believe that the deep love that we had for one another would be the bridge to get us over whatever problem presented itself?

Very good point and question, Ms. Squitto!! And that is how we can keep them (the daily realizations that worry, scare, disappoint and frustrate us) in check....I remind myself that last year I used to have (involuntary) shaking fits, when I the feared that we would get denied or have some other issue plague us and how I prayed to God to have this work and for him to be able to join me here. I remember praying for strength when people at church suggested that I pack for JA because JA was high fraud and I would have to go live there. And God answered my prayer. I saw a show Dateline Primetime or some such thing and a 9/11 widow said she would give anything to have her husband leave the toilet seat up again or leave the milk on the counter again...just to have him back. The host asked if he came back and left teh seat up and let the milk spoil what would she do, and she implied that she would just put the seat down again without a word and she would pour the milk away and buy more the next day...just to have him back.

So, you are right., Ms. Squitto. But, on the other hand, I think folks are venting so they don't go crazy. I hear the same complains at work from americans married to americans whom they met in a bar and lived with for years.

Very well said. I agree that a lot of it is venting and even more so trying to determine if you are "normal" and going through "normal" things. It is awesome that we can support each other here and get it all out and cuss and scream and all that good stuff. You got to get it out sometime and getting it out around your man can be costly.

I agree. It's eaiser for me to discuss with people who are in the same boat. Some people are waiting for us to fail. A co-worker asked if everything was good at home because I never say anything about Damien. I think she wanted me to complain about him like she does her husband .

[brownnskinn 0]

Dee I love the way you spell! My favorite is your favorite when you spelled doubt as dought and you did this Spelling is a gift. My siblings are bad spellers and I love to spell since I was like two.

I am not teasing you in a bad way, just saying it aint everybody's thing.

It is not my thing never has been, even back in school school days .

I only skim read the last few pages (as I've been in training for most of the day) but I'd like to share one observation that I've made. I've noticed a slight trend. Last year this time many of us were agonizing over approvals and missing our SO's so much and ranting about phone cards and the separation issues and LDR frustrations and all that. Now that many of us have our men right here with us, reality has set in and we now complain about the f*ckery associated with a real relationship and find our men driving us bonkers. I ask myself...was I (we) living in fantasy land all that time when he was in JA? Did I (we) just dream that everything was going to be a-ok once he finally made it to the US? Did I (we) really believe that the deep love that we had for one another would be the bridge to get us over whatever problem presented itself?

Very good point and question, Ms. Squitto!! And that is how we can keep them (the daily realizations that worry, scare, disappoint and frustrate us) in check....I remind myself that last year I used to have (involuntary) shaking fits, when I the feared that we would get denied or have some other issue plague us and how I prayed to God to have this work and for him to be able to join me here. I remember praying for strength when people at church suggested that I pack for JA because JA was high fraud and I would have to go live there. And God answered my prayer. I saw a show Dateline Primetime or some such thing and a 9/11 widow said she would give anything to have her husband leave the toilet seat up again or leave the milk on the counter again...just to have him back. The host asked if he came back and left teh seat up and let the milk spoil what would she do, and she implied that she would just put the seat down again without a word and she would pour the milk away and buy more the next day...just to have him back.

So, you are right., Ms. Squitto. But, on the other hand, I think folks are venting so they don't go crazy. I hear the same complains at work from americans married to americans whom they met in a bar and lived with for years.

Very well said. I agree that a lot of it is venting and even more so trying to determine if you are "normal" and going through "normal" things. It is awesome that we can support each other here and get it all out and cuss and scream and all that good stuff. You got to get it out sometime and getting it out around your man can be costly.

I agree. It's eaiser for me to discuss with people who are in the same boat. Some people are waiting for us to fail. A co-worker asked if everything was good at home because I never say anything about Damien. I think she wanted me to complain about him like she does her husband .

How bout this... I Had a coworker ask a good friend recently how I was doing.....when she told him I was happy....he replied "I just wanted to know if he'd gotten his green card and left her yet"

[Jonesie 1]

Hey everyone

Dee I see your biometrics is this Friday! Good luck

[brownnskinn 0]

I feel very blessed to have you all, because I have some female friends who don't have anyone to talk to. My sisters only have me....there is NOBODY they can trust....they don't trust each other even (each wishes I would not discuss their business with the other). Scary.

DITTO....I am greatful for you all

Not so scary tho..I would not tell my sister many of the things I have mentioned to you guys...I understand...There have been many of times I have told my sister things...only to have her throw it up in my face when she gets mad....I do not trust her...I am there for her but I don't tell her personal things about my life.

[thndrdancr 0]

I wanna chip in too. The common sense thing was a very good comment, Lake has a lot of common sense but its Guyanese common sense. He doesnt have a clue about things here. Just like him taping the trailer skirting together...sometimes its a very childlike common sense and I have to giggle about it, but sometimes the childlikeness gets a bit old, having to explain.

I dont know much about how its done in JA, but in for instance, when Lake first came, we were talking about trash pickup. We have that trailer and they dont have trash service. I told him starting a trash service would be a great business up there, and he just couldnt understand why we didnt just dump it alongside the road somewhere. NOW, he really likes the cleanliness, and really talks bad about people that throw things out, but it was just a totally foreign concept to him. Another thing is fishing, he loves fishing, but when he started talking about bringing a net back with him, I was telling him you are SUPPOSED to catch them with a line, with is something he has NEVER done. He is like "Well no one will know...and if they catch me, I will just tell them I am not from here". Well, that wont work FOREVER, ya know..?

That and the fact you have to have a license for everything, for fishing, for hunting a deer, a turkey, etc. He gets crazed wanting to shoot deer out of season. He has NOT, but he acts sooooo disappointed when I tell him no. He has learned a LOT, but all the rules do drive him a bit nuts. That job I called about, they said, sometimes he might be driving a forklift, etc, and I thought automatically, HEAVEN FORBID!!! lol

I do baby him too much, I know he is a grown man and I am sure he feels stifled, I dont think he has gone ONE place without me in the last year. Except to the garden, or to the convenience store to buy a lotto ticket. Thats sad.

We get along fantastic, he is SO patient, except for the learning the affection thing. Whereas JA guys I think are very affectionate, mine was raised a strict Hindu Indian with absolutely NO affection in the family, and he is ever so slowwwwly picking it up. I have been "teaching" him about affection and the fact that I want complements, and he tells me THAT is the hardest class of all! I think it is genuinely very difficult for him. I cant imagine growing up with your Mom never giving you hugs.

[brownnskinn 0]

Hey everyone

Dee I see your biometrics is this Friday! Good luck

Thanks!!

I think that I have all the things requested on the letter together.....Is there anything else I should do to prepare??

[Shemmy 4]

Spelling and losing weight happen to be.... He's losing and I'm gaining..... Anna I need help!!!!! I've fallen into that happy fat wife syndrome

Dee - what happened to your wonderful workout plan before Dave came? I can't talk because I just found mine last month. Maybe you can work out together.

[Jonesie 1]

Hey everyone

Dee I see your biometrics is this Friday! Good luck

Thanks!!

I think that I have all the things requested on the letter together.....Is there anything else I should do to prepare??

I think that's all you need! But you know how "they" can be...

if anyone else has advice please bring it! (taking notes for our biometrics - which we pray comes soon)

[Shemmy 4]

Dee I love the way you spell! My favorite is your favorite when you spelled doubt as dought and you did this Spelling is a gift. My siblings are bad spellers and I love to spell since I was like two.

I am not teasing you in a bad way, just saying it aint everybody's thing.

It is not my thing never has been, even back in school school days .

I only skim read the last few pages (as I've been in training for most of the day) but I'd like to share one observation that I've made. I've noticed a slight trend. Last year this time many of us were agonizing over approvals and missing our SO's so much and ranting about phone cards and the separation issues and LDR frustrations and all that. Now that many of us have our men right here with us, reality has set in and we now complain about the f*ckery associated with a real relationship and find our men driving us bonkers. I ask myself...was I (we) living in fantasy land all that time when he was in JA? Did I (we) just dream that everything was going to be a-ok once he finally made it to the US? Did I (we) really believe that the deep love that we had for one another would be the bridge to get us over whatever problem presented itself?

Very good point and question, Ms. Squitto!! And that is how we can keep them (the daily realizations that worry, scare, disappoint and frustrate us) in check....I remind myself that last year I used to have (involuntary) shaking fits, when I the feared that we would get denied or have some other issue plague us and how I prayed to God to have this work and for him to be able to join me here. I remember praying for strength when people at church suggested that I pack for JA because JA was high fraud and I would have to go live there. And God answered my prayer. I saw a show Dateline Primetime or some such thing and a 9/11 widow said she would give anything to have her husband leave the toilet seat up again or leave the milk on the counter again...just to have him back. The host asked if he came back and left teh seat up and let the milk spoil what would she do, and she implied that she would just put the seat down again without a word and she would pour the milk away and buy more the next day...just to have him back.

So, you are right., Ms. Squitto. But, on the other hand, I think folks are venting so they don't go crazy. I hear the same complains at work from americans married to americans whom they met in a bar and lived with for years.

Very well said. I agree that a lot of it is venting and even more so trying to determine if you are "normal" and going through "normal" things. It is awesome that we can support each other here and get it all out and cuss and scream and all that good stuff. You got to get it out sometime and getting it out around your man can be costly.

I agree. It's eaiser for me to discuss with people who are in the same boat. Some people are waiting for us to fail. A co-worker asked if everything was good at home because I never say anything about Damien. I think she wanted me to complain about him like she does her husband .

How bout this... I Had a coworker ask a good friend recently how I was doing.....when she told him I was happy....he replied "I just wanted to know if he'd gotten his green card and left her yet"

Dang, that was wrong. One of my "so called" friends got mad at me because I wouldn't go out with her last Saturday because Damien and I had a date. She said that we spend way to much together .

[nyseness 0]

How bout this... I Had a coworker ask a good friend recently how I was doing.....when she told him I was happy....he replied "I just wanted to know if he'd gotten his green card and left her yet"

Uh uh...see that's some fighting words... . I don't really talk to ppl much about my business some ppl who don't know me think I'm stuck up or mean but I'm neither. I always kept to myself, just can't be bothered. I've had my engagement ring for some time now but the other day someone at work saw it and she started questioning me. First of all, I don't like ppl doing that esp ppl I don't talk to like that. So I told her it was a promise ring and walked elsewhere. So now I hear rumors in the office but me na bizniz no body a tek care of me...

Well ladies, it has been a great topic today...I'm going to get my daughter from after school care then I'm off to my step aerobics class. Have a great night and talk to ya'll tomorrow.

Anna

Edited May 10, 2006 by nyseness

[brownnskinn 0]

Spelling and losing weight happen to be.... He's losing and I'm gaining..... Anna I need help!!!!! I've fallen into that happy fat wife syndrome

Dee - what happened to your wonderful workout plan before Dave came? I can't talk because I just found mine last month. Maybe you can work out together.

???????Who knows....He says I don't work out anymore cause I got my man..... Is that true????? I think it's because I don't have any energy and I don't think I eat that much???I have gained seven pounds He keeps making those boiled dumplins. I have cut back to two or three...before I wasn't having any rice, bread or flour tho. I try to be strong. I have lost my motivation...I guess. I went to the gym today. I was wipped out. I do better when he is not there. Like today...When he comes home we'll go back together.

Spelling and losing weight happen to be.... He's losing and I'm gaining..... Anna I need help!!!!! I've fallen into that happy fat wife syndrome

Dee - what happened to your wonderful workout plan before Dave came? I can't talk because I just found mine last month. Maybe you can work out together.

???????Who knows....He says I don't work out anymore cause I got my man..... Is that true????? I think it's because I don't have any energy and I don't think I eat that much???I have gained seven pounds He keeps making those boiled dumplins. I have cut back to two or three...before I wasn't having any rice, bread or flour tho. I try to be strong. I have lost my motivation...I guess. I went to the gym today. I was wipped out. I do better when he is not there. Like today...When he comes home we'll go back together.

Yes true fighting words...thank goodness I don't work there anymore.

Well ladies, it has been a great topic today...I'm going to get my daughter from after school care then I'm off to my step aerobics class. Have a great night and talk to ya'll tomorrow.

Anna[/color]

Ditto

[Shemmy 4]

Dee - I just got used to going to the gym with Damien. He used to tell me what to do and how to do it. We are known at the gym as the "crazy couple" because we would fuss at each other. Now he does his thing and I do mine. He'll help me when I need it. I like it better that way. Looking at my three chins in the mirror got me motivated .

[Yaads 0]

Thanks for everything everyone

Have a wonderful night and hopefully we can keep the chatting going tomorrow. It really helped pass the day

Jamie

[phatmadame81 0]

Hi I have a few questions ( srry it does not pertain to your discussion at this moment my veiws on this is 'If you don't ahve anything nice to say, don't say anything)

I recieved my NAO1 a few weeks ago and becuase I have been feeling like my husband is cheating I have decided to go the CR1/IR1 route, however, I have no clue on htis route. Can some one who has gone this route assist me kinda like a seeing person leading the blind , please?

Can a person who sends in the I130 withthe intentions of getting the K3 Spousal visa switch with, or do O have to notify the USCIS (VSC)?

My husband has a B1/B2 is it possible for him to travel to Canada on it even though the petition has been ented already? ( I do not want him to go to Canada but)