Where can we meet?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I have been in a similar situation in the past and learned a lot about this topic. I recently had to clear up a arrears I didnt even legitimately owe.

First my story.

When my ex and I were getting a divorce we had agreed to a alimony and child support amount above the state calculation. I was attempting to be generous. Even without an order for support or a decree I started to pay that amount directly to her in cash. I had signed receipts from her for each payment.

When the decree was issued and order of support established the state initially had assed be as being 6 months in arrears. I was easily able to prove the error and my ex even asserted that fact. Because my ex helped me clear up the support issue I felt I could trust her.

I paid off the alimony about a year before it was needed. The state once again showed it in arrears and I proved it was an error and my ex helped prove it.

My exs BF has probably about 6 months total combined employment over the past 4 years. My ex would frequently ask for help and I would pay her cash and she at the time would agree to apply it to the support. I was mostly self-employed so salary deductions were not typical for me. About 1 out of 3 times I would just pay her directly.

This past summer my ex wanted an increase in child support and the state reviewed the support and denied increasing the amount.

After the review I needed to renew my passport and could not because I owed arrears. The state showed I owed $15,000 in arrears and interest. I tried to prove it in error once again but this time my ex stayed silent and refused to tell the state the truth.

When it was all said and done I ended up having to pay the amount and learned NEVER to trust her with payments or ever give her extra again.

Here is what I learned in the process. There is some variation from state to state but overall here are the basics.

1. If you give money without going through the court or state it can be considered a gift. Even if the amounts are exactly the same and you have signed receipts to the contrary. If your ex does not also provide proof the money was toward support payments you can be looking at an expensive and time consuming court battle. (I considered fighting in court but to retain a lawyer would have been around $5000 and could take a year to fight. Even if I would have fought I would have really gained nothing and just as easily been still ordered to pay the arrears.)

2. Once the amount is over $2500 the state may suspend your passport.

3. When paying off the arrears the state is not obligated to remove the limitation on your passport until the full amount is paid. Not $2500, but $0.

4. In some cases you can negotiate a lump sum agreement with the custodial parent and they can waive the arrears if done with the approval of the state. If the custodial parent received assistance from the state, the state can choose to not allow that amount to be waived or deduct the amount to be reimbursed to the state.

5. If you file for a K-1 or K-3 visa and owe more than $2500 in arrears it can be outright denied.

6. If you file for a K-1 or K-3 visa and owe arrears, the total amount of arrears can be deducted from your estimated income used to prove you can support the beneficiary. For example, if your income is $40,000 and you have $2,000 in arrears, the adjusted amount can be $38,000.

7. Your children are considered part of the family household size even if you do not use them as a tax exemption or dependent on your taxes. For example if you have 4 children your household size would be 6. Your 4 children, your spouse/fiancé(e), and yourself.

8. Your income typically must exceed the HHS poverty levels at 125%. Sometimes the 100% level is used for K-1, but often the 125% standard is used because AOS is assumed. For example, consider the above $40,000 income adjusted to $38,000 because of arrears. Also consider if you have 4 children, making a total of 6 people in the household. If you live in the continental U.S., the 2012 income requirement at 125% for a family size of 6 is $38,712. In this example you would not meet the requirements.

9. A co-sponsor may be used in applying for a visa however embassies in some countries opt to ignore co-sponsorship as a rule.

10. A co-sponsor is usually only accepted when the petitioners income is close to the required amount.

The process is not cheap. Travel costs, application fees, the cost to obtain documentation, medical exam fees, visa fees, AOS fees, etc.

The basic moral to the story is you need to get your house in order before applying for a visa.

This should be stickied somwhere, thanks for sharing.

I just resolved the same sort of issue. I KNOW they know about arrears without needing to run a report because I didnt know about the arrears until the Department of State told me.

The state and support clearing house report an arrears to HHS who reports it to the department of state. The department of state oversees U.S. Embassies.

USCIS is where the final passport restriction occurs.

This is a quote from an internal USCIS guide.

(A) Policy Regarding Support .

You should also review Interpretations 316.1(f)(5) for a discussion of good moral character and the effect of support payments on a finding of good moral character. This discussion includes support of spouse and children; effect of unemployment or financial inability; attempts to comply with court ordered support.

A finding of good moral character is precluded where there is a willful failure or refusal to provide support unless extenuating circumstances exist (see 8 CFR 316.10(b)(3)(i) ). Unemployment and financial inability should be taken into account when examining the applicant on this issue. In considering such factors, you should also take into account the cause of the unemployment and financial inability to support dependents. For instance, if an applicant was unemployed because of incarceration, then the reason for incarceration must be determined as it may affect the applicants ability to establish good moral character.

Another factor to consider would be whether the applicant had the opportunity to support the children. Example: the spouse had custody of the children. He or she took the children to a new residence, prevented the applicant from learning of the childrens whereabouts, and made no provision for receiving support payments through a third party or financial institution. Depending upon the circumstances in this last example, it would be important to know why the spouse prevented contact between the applicant an d the children. You would need to consider if the applicant had in any way threatened the spouse or children, or defied a custody order. You would have to ask enough questions about the circumstances, on a case-by-case basis, to determine if the conduct of the applicant met the standards for a finding of good moral character.

If the documentation indicates that the applicant is in arrears for court-ordered child support, you will need to find out how long the applicant has failed to provide support and why. If the circumstances surrounding the applicants failure to provide support have already been reviewed by the court, and the court still continues to order payment, the application should be denied for lack of good moral character. If the applicant tells you that he or she cannot provide support and provides an explanation an d documentation to support that explanation, you will have to determine whether the applicant willfully refused or failed to support the dependents. An applicant who is unable to provide documents that establish that he or she did not willfully fail or refuse to support his or her child (children) has failed to establish good moral character. See 8 CFR 316.10(b)(3)(i) .

Is this done at USCIS or DOS at the embassy.

I can't thank you all enough for the extremely useful information, especially from San Diego, as I was in El Paso a couple months ago and asked some of the locals there about crossing into Juarez. I agree as this might be a valid option. And from belinda - I have not submitted my application because I was told there was a hold. Perhaps I should give this a try and see if I squeak by. I have also talked to a lawyer who said I can obtain a clearance letter that shows I am current with my payments. Any validity to this?

To clear up all the Neighsayers concern about my finances, I currently make $79,000 annually, have no children living at home, own my home and car, and have a credit score of 785. I really didn't feel like sharing so many personal details of my life, and asked to refrain from bashing about child support arrears, but I guess that was too much to hope for.

The child support arrears started at $52,000 when this woman I slept with twice in high school figured out in the late 80s that she can milk two states for a total of $1000 per month. When the child turned 10, she moved to a third state, and by this time accumulated 4 more children, all from different fathers. When she moved to the third state, the entire child support enforcement file from state number one moved with her, then later from state number two, which basically doubled the amount I owed. From the time I found out about the child, I paid support. As I said before, the child is now 26 and has a family of his own, and does not communicate with his mother. She is alcohol and drug addicted, morbidly obese, and may not live long due to poor lifestyle and recently diagnosed type 2 diabetes. I won't even go into the bitter dispute with the biological mother I had when I approached her on settling, who told me I will pay every month and will never release me from the debt. She is a crooked woman who exploits flaws in the system.

So now that I have shared all the dirt on this situation, I ask once again to please refrain from continuing to discuss and make suggestion to pay off arrears, and stay focused to the the question at hand: how best to meet, and is there any truth to one lawyer's claim, and I quote "As long as you have evidence such as emails, letters etc. This is a fiance visa so therefore no physical contact is needed. That is why they also give you 90 days once she is here for you to marry her to be sure that this is what you want."

Thank you for sharing. Some lamers amongst us immidieately think the worst when they hear of Fathers with arrearages.

My Ex begged me to take her back and when I refused she went to AOG and lied that the money I had been paying her were gifts. Why woudl i give a gift to someone I was going through a divorce with?

No they don't flag them electronically. Either they confiscate your passport or your passport is good to go if it is still valid. Having an arrear won't affect your petition as long as you are showing you are making monthly payment according to the order. Having an arrear is like having a credit card debt.

Please don't make assumption to scare other people.

They don't flag them for sure. When it expires then they don't get renewed is all. But one should still try.

I am elated that OP was abel to meet and spend time with his FIancee.

He has a right to pursue his own happiness too.