balancing money after married

[EminTX 131]

@EminTX I thought everyone had a rainy day fund! I think $1000 is a little on the light side and our income is less than that.

Most folks in today's culture live on credit or in catastrophe mode and never prepare for a single rainy moment, not to mention a rainy day. The first thing in the class is to get that most basic amount together and when you really put your head to it, you can. Everybody has at some point or another. Statistically, every 3 or 4 years, you will have a "sudden financial emergency" of this amount--everyone had done it and everyone knows it will happen again. The goal is to simply get ready for it so that it is not a crisis.

Saying there is no "right way" is incorrect. It is never "right" to be unprepared completely always.

1000US is auto repairs, plumbing problem at home, vet bills, emergency airfare for travel for sick family/funerals, and for us that have international issues on top of that, this 1000U$ can be the majority of airfare for many locations. Even better is to have the normal price of airfare as the basic starter emergency fund. (That is around 1500U$ for us.)

T-b, you have it backwards, si-man. In our house, the esposA has the checks made out to her and the esposO cons every dime out of her, ummm....I mean, uses the money as the "needs" arise. He even got hired on the side this week riding fence and this esposA has noticed that the esposO didn't even offer to share the cost of a cup of coffee with her. HHhmmmm......

[The Mean Lady 604]

my husband guilts me into spending mone even if he doesnt realize it.

i have zero savings

none. nada. zip. not even a savings account.

and my husband offers to pay for nooooottthhhiiiing

he spends his money on toys

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

my husband guilts me into spending mone even if he doesnt realize it.

i have zero savings

none. nada. zip. not even a savings account.

and my husband offers to pay for nooooottthhhiiiing

he spends his money on toys

I'm doing an intervention KDH! Man needs to pay for some of the household things. I'm not even working and I pay for some of the household expenses.

[The Mean Lady 604]

I'm doing an intervention KDH! Man needs to pay for some of the household things. I'm not even working and I pay for some of the household expenses.

hes required to pay two bills.

insurance and hydro.

though i find myself more and more replacing the missing money in his account.

sigh.

[scotinmass 588]

The people who run the country are smart and educated. Obviously they know the best way to handle finances so it would be smart to follow their lead.

If you want something and you don't have the money. Borrow it.

If you don't have enough money to pay back your loan borrow some more from someone else.

If you want a makeover for your house just borrow some more.

Want a new car even though the old one is fine. Get a car loan with crippling interest.

If all that debt is getting you down and you are worried how you're going to pay it back get your kids to co-sign all your loans and then when you die they can pay it back for you.

If it works for the government it can work for you.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

hes required to pay two bills.

insurance and hydro.

though i find myself more and more replacing the missing money in his account.

sigh.

As long as you are both happy with it and it works for you.

If it isn't, then put your foot down!

[The Mean Lady 604]

As long as you are both happy with it and it works for you.

If it isn't, then put your foot down!

my toleration for it is thinning.

i just havent figured out how to approach it yet

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Consider taking total control of the finances.

I noticed when we first got married, my husband had this terrible habit of letting checking accounts go in the negative, sometimes by significant amounts or paying bills late. He didn't seem to be too interested in money management or budgeting in general and I was very uncomfortable with that. After we moved here, I took total control of the money. I'll tell you what, this disinterest in financial management never went away. He has access to all the bank accounts and credit cards, but to my knowledge, he has rarely, if ever logged into them. He makes the money, but I pay all the bills, save all the money, and I give him an allowance of blow money. Life is good. We pretty much never argue about money, though it helps that we are of the same mentality when it comes to what we want out of life financially and how to reach those goals.

[The Mean Lady 604]

Consider taking total control of the finances.

I noticed when we first got married, my husband had this terrible habit of letting checking accounts go in the negative, sometimes by significant amounts or paying bills late. He didn't seem to be too interested in money management or budgeting in general and I was very uncomfortable with that. After we moved here, I took total control of the money. I'll tell you what, this disinterest in financial management never went away. He has access to all the bank accounts and credit cards, but to my knowledge, he has rarely, if ever logged into them. He makes the money, but I pay all the bills, save all the money, and I give him an allowance of blow money. Life is good. We pretty much never argue about money, though it helps that we are of the same mentality when it comes to what we want out of life financially and how to reach those goals.

once were out of canada this WILL happen

[Marilyn. 340]

once I moved to the US I took over the finances. My husband had a lot of overdrawn fees and late bill payments. Now I make sure all the bills are paid. We actually have two accounts one where I put money every check to cover the rent and bills and one that he mainly uses for gas and extras and our groceries. I need to put him back on an allowance though because sometimes he spends a little too much money on non-essential items

[JoBri 548]

I put it all in my wife's hands. Now we have surplus!

[TBoneTX 45,522]

T-b, you have it backwards, si-man. In our house, the esposA has the checks made out to her and the esposO cons every dime out of her, ummm....I mean, uses the money as the "needs" arise. He even got hired on the side this week riding fence and this esposA has noticed that the esposO didn't even offer to share the cost of a cup of coffee with her.

I had it backwards? Sorry, man si. Is he a macho? That would explain much. Even if he is a macho, tell him that a real man shares the cost of a cup of coffee with his esposa, and takes her out to dinner once a week, etc., see man.

[EminTX 131]

Nah, T-bone, he isn't terribly macho. I have been very strict about us having "our money" and "his money". I don't ever, ever, ever, EVER want him to feel that he is trapped or enslaved financially. He has access to almost all the accounts and can decide how the money goes where, if he wants. Even though I am whining a bit, I am only being silly and am completely okay with him not sharing his little bit. Last week, he used his blow money to buy groceries for the house--unneccessary but well appreciated.

I have known too many friends who felt subservient because they didn't have any property or money of their own. I would really hate for my beloved to feel that for even a moment.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

once were out of canada this WILL happen

[TBoneTX 45,522]

[...] I have known too many friends who felt subservient because they didn't have any property or money of their own. I would really hate for my beloved to feel that for even a moment.

Trust me: that would be tough for ANY guy, even a non-macho. He's lucky to have such a loving, understanding esposa, si man.