likely divorce during application process

[InHisTime 110]

Thanks so much for following my posts, and for all of your support and encouragement! Just a clarification.... by submitting an email to USCIS, do you mean the CSC where the I-130 was processed? When we cancelled the K-1 visa in the past (after we got married, as it was in the CSC at that time), I just had to write a letter to the CSC. And it took a full month before they wrote me back telling me that the cancellation was processed. But now that it has moved on to the NVC, I don't know if I need to write a letter to both. Probably I will just email the NVC, and see if they need me to do any additional procedures or letters.

Anyway, thanks for your thoughtful words... I really need that to heal right now. I wish you and your partner a lifetime of happiness.

Yes, you may call, write email or letter to the NVC and USCIS. It should be written so you have documentation.

I'm glad that I could help you relieve a little of your pain. I had been into your situation before, in fact, I already went to the states through K-1 visa, but I discovered that my Fiance is a mama's boy. His mom would always put me down and interfere in our relationship. They don't trust me at their house and I find it very embarrassing. Trust is important to me so I could bring out the best of me. His mom would always accused me of something I didn't do. I find it hard to stay with them. Sometimes they are good, but it wasn't sincere to stay long. I finally decided to come home and didn't marry my Fiance though we already had a marriage license. I know my Fiance loves me and I love him too, but it wasn't enough to stick with our relationship and fight for our love as he cares his mom more than me. Coming to the states was not easy especially I already have established a good life in my country. It was painful leaving my Fiance, but I had to be strong than to live a miserable life in the states. Having a GC is not important to me. I witnessed his stressful life because of his mom unfavorable actions towards me. I understand my Fiance as he is the one caring his mom, but I believe when a man enters marriage, he should have the courage to STAND FIRM of his decision as I wasn't there to compete with his mom. He should know his priorities -- the relationship. I come from a country where culture is very strong in caring and helping our parents, but my parents and families wouldn't put down the person I love or any other individuals as we know mutual respect. We have to live a life with harmony, love, and peace in our hearts.

Girl, you would be better with your decision, stay strong ! Always pray to God for his guidance and mercy. Everything will be fine --just learn from this experience, move on, and trust God. This thing happened for a good reason. God will reveal to you in His time. God bless and take care of yourself. Choose to stay happy in life, we only live once - live it without regrets. Enjoy the holidays!

[rlogan 2,036]

Great to hear from you again, Rlogan!

I'm cautiously optimistic because it ain't over until its over, and you've let him get away with murder for so long.

Maximum drama would be to let him make a half-step forward like sending you one thing or another and dragging it out further. Minimum drama would be to follow what others have said above and send the email, call, write the letter too and make triple-sure you have put a stake through the heart of this vampire. Now.

The sooner you do it the more self-respect you allow yourself. Having someone extract every last drop of blood and stomp every breath out of you before finally acting in self-preservation basically leaves a hollow corpse. Just look how you feel and for how long your vitality has been drained out of you. A spouse is supposed to lift you up to a higher state.

[milimelo 4,477]

So what you do is write a letter to USCIS withdrawing I-130 - address is on your NOA2 approval letter. Best to send registered mail, receipt confirmation. You will receive a notice from USCIS saying your I-130 has been withdrawn/cancelled. At the same time write an email/letter to NVC notifying them of pulling I-130 (you can include a copy of I-130 cancellation letter you sent to USCIS) and withdrawing I-864 affidavit of support.

I don't see a reason to wait additional 25 days to divorce your husband.He is obviously not going to change and it seems he was looking for 2 yrs of marriage so he can get his 10-yr green card and ditch you upon arrival.

[UK_Fan 192]

well at least you will be doing this now and not when it's already too late. by the sound of it, it seems to me like he's after a green card, period. you are saving yourself a lot of trouble by not bringing him here because it's untelling what it would be like once he's here. but here's what i would assume:

1) he will mooch off you constantly

2) blame poor economy for the fact that he can't find a job

3) i don't know about his language skills, but i'm sure he'll throw bad english in the mix

4) will probably make you send money to india to support his parents

5) if something doesn't go his way he would probably lie on you to the police. and if he doesn't get the 10 yr green card by then, he'll file for VAWA

im glad that you are following your brain, not your heart, because looks like it will save you A LOT of trouble!

good luck.

[memmy 3]

Hi guys. There is a very good chance I will be divorcing soon from my overseas husband. (I am the USC petitioner.) You can see my timeline for more info, if that helps. I completed the I-130 application, then my petition moved to the NVC, where I submitted my $88 fee and the Affidavit of Support paperwork. They processed all that in August, but needed my husband's documents... which he failed to send me, as he was dragging his feet on coming here (as he is a mamma's boy and now can't stand the thought of leaving his family). At least this is the nicest version... as others have suspected him of being manipulative with me, and having worse intentions.

He doesn't give me clear answers about whether he really wants to make the marriage work or not, as he's completely wishy washy. I feel like I'm in this marriage totally alone, as his parents are first to him.

Anyway, I had given him an ultimatum that if he didn't get his documents on time to me (I told him I needed that they needed to be mailed out by Jan 15th) that I would plan for divorce. This was more than enough time extension, as I had asked him back in April to make sure to have all the documents to be by July (2012) so that we could be ready to go when they NVC was ready for his stuff. Yet he kept find one excuse after the other since July to keep delaying sending me his stuff.

He and I are both aware that if he delays long enough, he can get the 10 year GC instead of the 2 year conditional one. Hence the reason why I gave the ultimatum, as that was pushing it as far out as I could manage to prevent that from happening. By following through with my ultimatum, I thought at least he could show me that he wasn't coming for the wrong reasons, but for me.

However, he still has done minimal to get his documents (passport, PCC, etc) to me. He knows I'm beyond exasperated with the marriage and his lack of proactivity and his prioritization of his mother over me. Hence getting the work done was truly important as a first step in attempting to rebuild the relationship. But now he states that he doesn't think he should bother getting the documents together as I keep talking about divorce.... and thus he isn't going to make the effort to get my name added in his passport if I'm going to just turn around and divorce him. Thus we are at a standstill and getting nowhere... however, I have told him that the ultimatum still stands and our relationship will be over in less than a month. Yet he continues to do nothing... he still flirts with me and sends me trite cutsey emails, but isn't willing to address our marriage problems or OWN his mistakes. He is still a child hiding behind mommy instead of an adult husband to me. I'm fed up. Yes, I'm deeply heartbroken and devastated beyond belief, but I'm focusing on the anger right now as I will fall into a hopeless depression if I allow myself to feel any of my grief. I think I will only allow myself to break down once I've gotten the divorce filed and the visa cancelled. I still deeply care for my husband and don't want to divorce... neither does he want divorce. Yet he isn't willing to change, and I cannot live with him the way he is (selfish and immature). So there is nothing for me to do, but to grieve and move on.

What do I need to do here? Do I need to contact both the NVC and the place where I filed the I-130? Do I need to get the I-130 cancelled as well, or is contacting the NVC enough? Is there anyway also to cancel the Affidavit of Support since he hasn't gotten any visa yet? Does it matter if file for divorce first, or if I just cancel the visa application first before filing? I don't want to create any permanent ban on him coming here... with my irrational romantic hope that maybe someday he might man up and choose to come here on his own to win me back. (Though I doubt he'd do that, as he lacks the character and integrity, or even the love for me.) But I just want to do what is needed to prevent him from submitting the visa application and fees himself to the NVC, and coming here without my knowledge and becoming a public charge on me. Thanks!

So sorry to see you are dealing with so much grief:(

[bigdog 376]

'how to withdraw' depends on where the casefile is.

Since it's at NVC -

you need to call into NVC on Monday, and ask for a supervisor,

then put the question to the supervisor.

Usually it's a letter sent off, attention of a particular office at NVC,

but

it's enough to simply withdraw the I-864, the affadavit of support, whilst the casefile is at NVC, from NVC.

Not having an I-864 in play stops all casefile processing at NVC, regardless of reason.

Once you get confirmation from NVC, yer done. That casefile won't get to the IV unit, at all.

to anyone else reading this, before you try to give advice on saving the relationship - I beg of you - make time to read her prior posts. Learn how to use VJ web portal, aye?

:thumbs:

[InHisTime 110]

:thumbs:

[VanessaTony 3,567]

The others have answered your withdrawal question but I wanted to tell you, as someone who's been reading your story from the beginning that I think you're doing the right thing. You deserve to be treated so much better than he's treating you. You've wasted so much time trying to help him and get him here with you, thinking that's what he wanted, and he's just manipulated you and let you down.

It's going to be hard, but you will be okay.

[Xanax 349]

Hi Rkk1,

It seems you've got the right information on how to withdraw your petition.

I just want to say after reading most if not all of your previous posts re: your husband I think you're doing the right thing and you deserve a lot better treatment from your Husband. I'd get the ball rolling now though, no point in waiting until Jan, you're just giving him more time to play with your head and heart.

[VivaBaños 2]

I'm so happy to hear that you are preparing to take this next step: contacting NVC + divorce.

You have put up with so much heartache for so so long and we've all been cheering for you to protect yourself and your future.

Yes, I expect that your husband will pull out more drama than you can imagine as you take this next step. Stay strong!

I imagine that you may mourn the future plans and dreams you had together. I wish you a speedy divorce and a very happy 2013!

Keep us updated.

[velrich 50]

Happy Holidays RKK1!

I remember your previous thread and happy to see you are finally thinking in a different way. Darnell and others have pointed you in the right direction. Get moving.

[Redvelvet215 3]

FIrst question to you, are you Indian? if yes; did you Born in India? Answer these questiones we will have a good understanding..

This quote has nothing to do with her question. Whether she american or indian or indian born. She filed for i130 and now she wants a divorce she just want to know what to do but, the status of citizenship in or out the US do not make any impact on her filing or unfiling for the visa.

[Darnell 8,478]

So what you do is write a letter to USCIS withdrawing I-130 - address is on your NOA2 approval letter. Best to send registered mail, receipt confirmation. You will receive a notice from USCIS saying your I-130 has been withdrawn/cancelled. At the same time write an email/letter to NVC notifying them of pulling I-130 (you can include a copy of I-130 cancellation letter you sent to USCIS) and withdrawing I-864 affidavit of support.

I don't see a reason to wait additional 25 days to divorce your husband.He is obviously not going to change and it seems he was looking for 2 yrs of marriage so he can get his 10-yr green card and ditch you upon arrival.

Alas, the casefile is already at NVC, a DoS Office.

Writing to USCIS at this stage does nothing.

Well, it does something, but If there was a case complete at NVC, USCIS 'catching up' with DoS is a huge problem, timewise.

[Darnell 8,478]

FIrst question to you, are you Indian? if yes; did you Born in India? Answer these questiones we will have a good understanding..

I've gone over all of 'that' with her in her prior posts.

It's on you to find them, read them, understand all.

Seriously, it's ON YOU to get the backstory - it's all available for you to find here on VisaJourney.com web site.

Bonus points for you when/if you figure out how to do it.

Minus points for anyone else posting the urls here on the prior posts.

So, with that as your 'first question' - here's my 'first question' to you...

You've been a member here for about 3 years - why you not learn about the search tools and member tools available in the portal ?

[rade2rising 205]

I think you should still go through the process of bringing him here. you can always leave him once he is here if it doesnt work out. at least you will give your relation a chance. anyways it is your life so hope you do what will make you happy in the long run.